In the novel 1979 Sophie’s Choice, a mother is forced to a concentration camp and forced to decide which of her two children will be gassed to death immediately and which one will live to see another day. It’s an impossible decision. It is almost the way I feel about the feud between Brandi Glanville and Joanna Krupa. I mean you know, if they told me I had to let one live and could not gas them both.
But the more I think about Joanna, she’d be the one I gassed. I actually like Brandi for a while. And she does have too cute boys. So I suppose, I should be LOL right now about he latest stunt at Craig’s, a Restaurant in WeHo. Brandi was probably there with her Gaygent. And Joanna was there with Romain (*cough* her gusband *cough* allegedly *cough*) last Friday night.
According to TMZ, Brandi noticed Joanna across the restaurant. For those who missed it, Joanna is suing Brandi for saying her pussy stinks. No seriously. Apparently, we will soon have some sort of scratch and sniff regarding the odor of Joanna’s lady garden in court soon. Remember in the Casey Anthony trial when the prosecution wanted to bottle the smell of rotting dead babies and have the jury smell it? And I misremembering that? I don’t think they were allowed to do it. But somehow, Joanna is going to have to prove that her pussy doesn’t smell bad in order to prove that Brandi is lying.
How will they do that? Will they bring in some of the people who frequented the website she allegedly sold herself on? Will she just splay herself on the rail of the jury box and the jurors will be forced to line up and take a whiff? I do not know.
But last Friday when Brandi saw Joanna and her man at dinner she sent over a lovely fish dish. A sesame crusted salmon with ginger soy brown rice and broccoli, wasabi vinaigrette ($40). Okay. I have to say, I think this is fucking HILARIOUS.
According to TMZ, Joanna and Romain were pissed but ended up just finishing the meal they ordered and left. Because these two combined were completely out witted by BRANDI GLANVILLE!
Clearly, the appropriate move was to enjoy the free salmon and send Brandi the Crab Cake appetizer with the lemon caper remoulade ($19). Brandi could have done a munch better move in the first place with the Tuna Tartar appetizer, ($19).
I went to Brandi’s Twitter to check for gloating but found nothing. I blocked Joanna YEARS ago and she blocked me for mocking her stupid PETA shit. So who knows if she is spazzing out.
I did find this shit on Brandi’s timeline, to help us all remind ourselves why we don’t like her.
That is hilarious. Well played Brandi.
I’m gonna go with Joanna Krupa.
This made me laugh out loud. My husband asked what was so funny, told him, the we laughed together.
I would 100% gas Joanna.
Maybe someone needs to break the bad news to Brandi that she is 42 years old. Apparently through her copious alcohol consumption, she has destroyed so many brain cells that she thinks she is a teenager.
But I do have to admit that the “serving” was pretty brilliant. Must have been her agent’s idea.
That’s why I said it was brilliant lol
Hmm that nested in the wrong spot. The reply was to Tamara.
Come on, CAWOMAN, THAT was fucking HILARIOUS.
On Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 10:30 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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It’s jiust not okay 6that one can’t gas them both. Where’s the humanity???
I want to know all the #alleged tea about Joanna’s husband, Romain. Someone spill please.
DID YOU NOT HAVE ANY SYMPATHY FOR MY COUGHING FIT?
On Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 10:42 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I never really thought he was gay, thought he was so obviously a cheater though.
Can Brandi get anymore obnoxious then she already is! I’m no fan of Joanna, but she does have her own money, her own career, her own home and her own man. As far as the lawsuit, Joanna will never win, she has to prove that Brandi’s comments have hurt her financially. Not gonna happen.
I’m with you. Brandi has been digging up every feud possible for attention lately. No one cares.
Xa na and Minky way to judge and stereotype people. I’ve been a 100% vegetarian and mostly vegan for most of my life and I’ve never once tried to push my beliefs on people. Many of the housewives, including Brandi, tweet support for pet animals. I think it’s silly to poorly judge people who like all animals.
Very sorry JustJenn. I really wasn’t thinking when I wrote that. I have had many unpleasant experiences with one vegan in particular. Not all of them. You’re right, I do have vegetarian friends who don’t act like that. I too am appalled at abusive pet owners and others who mistreat animals. Again, apologies.
Thank you, Minky. I know there are some crazy vegans out there that even I don’t like to be around, but we aren’t all bad! 🙂
This was by far the best thing Brandi has ever done. #TeamBrandi (now that she is not renewed)
On Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 10:44 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’m usually going to side with the meat eater, even if said carnivore is as loathsome as Brandi.
It WAS funny.
and vegans, in general, take themselves WAY too seriously.
excuse me while i go eat kibbe nayeh..
@Xanadude I am also pro-flesh-eater. A professional acquaintance of mine, who shall remain nameless, is a militant, dyed-in-the-wool, fanatic vegan, and has given me an incalculable amount of grief over not being a child of the corn. He makes my blood boil.
I don’t know much about this Krupa woman, but she sounds like she’s deeply stupid.
LMFAO! THIS is the Brandi I could get back on board with! #FreelanceBrandi
TT, forgive me if this has already been discussed but has it been confirmed that Brandi will not be renewed on RHOBH? This is the only blog I read so if I don’t hear it from you I don’t believe
âAll signs lead to non renewal.
Brandi talking about needing a acting coach for a new job.
Her retweeting people that are asking Bravo to bring her back…
Not invited to Upfronts.
All the tea leaves point to her time being up.
On Thu, Jun 4, 2015 at 7:23 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Never have understood Andy’s declarations of Joanna being the hottest housewife of all. Does her personality keep me from seeing her appeal? I always felt her sister is the more beautiful of the two.
OMG! IT MAKES EVEN MORE SENSE NOW. Andy non-renewed Brandi and then said he’d fuck Joanna. OMG PUHLEASE don’t let Andy replace Brandi with Joanna. I would BEG for Brandi back.
On Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 10:53 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Didnt I predict that last week? 🙂
@ xanadude
You DID predict that! I remember it. Nice one!
Yes Sir, but … I mean seriously. This can’t happen, can it?
Never forget that Andy’s a dick. And his dickery knows no bounds.
OMG! If so, that is really cruel of Andy.
Except Joanna is another mean drunk. Does Bravo actually want to take a chance on her?
If that were to happen I would vote to gas Andy! Butt Andy probably loves Joanna for her hubby, and it is Andy’s world.
Joanna would not fit in on RHOBH. I hope this does not happen.
I can just see the contrived drama of Joanna, Yolanda, Mohammad, and his latest hot woman.
Ok, that was pretty funny! Lol
Joanna is a bitch but what started this anyway?? What did Joanna do to deserve this? I pity anyone Brandi hates or is jealous of…she is vicious, vindictive and her jealousy knows no bounds! Whew!
Andy Cohen started it.
Joanna would talk shit on Brandi.
Andy told Brandi of WWHL a comment Joanna said, then Brandi said, “Mohamad said Her pussy stinks”
Oh my too much to remember. I am not a blogger. LOL
Thanks, Melissa! Of course, Andy started it. He has made shit stirring an art form…
Okay, bad behavior by both of them. But a lawsuit? Because Brandi said that Mohammed said that her kitty stinks? WHAT?! Is this Brandi or Mama Joyce?
BTW, Mohammed sounds like he might be kind of a hoochie. Just saying.
Except Brandi also stated that Mohammed said this in front of LVP. Mohammed denied saying it and LVP backed him up. I am not inclined to believe Brandi on this one.
Point to Ms. Glanville (whom I would vote to gas). Let’s let Mohammad decide.
It is funny, but it would be funnier if Joanna actually did something to Brandi (other then being prettier) that caused Brandi to insert herself in her history and publicly demean her in the first place. She randomly decided to attack her and then she sends her fish on top of it? She’s relentless and cruel, for no good reason.
Um, It’s Joanna.
On Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 11:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Micro, Joanna allegedly slept with Mohammad while he was still married to Yolanda. I guess this is what Brandi means when she says she is a “ride or die friend.” Mohammad, Lisa and Yolanda all deny telling Brandi that Joanna’s hooha was odiferous.
Odiferous! Ahahahahahaha! Seriously, don’t these women freshen up before they get down to business. It’s just good manners. Do they fucking bathe? Summer’s Eve, anyone?
Katherine,
Yolanda slept with Mohammed while he was married to someone else so she has no room to complain. The fact that Yolanda did not distance herself or react vehemently when Brandi called her daughter an alcoholic makes me think Yolanda may have confided in Brandi about Joanna, not Mohammed.
As far as gassing, I would have to pick Brandi (drunk, disloyal and messy). Will not mess her on the show.
Katherine I think Yo did hence her Brandi could do no wrong BS. If BG didnt have that Yo would not have put up with her saying her daughter is a drunk. I am surprised she didnt say LVP and Mo slept together. Yo is jealous of their friendship too.
Joanna didn’t do anything directly to Brandi, so it is not her business to broadcast it. A ride or die friend would keep your private info private and just avoid Joanna at all costs. I don’t like either of them but I personally think looking at this one circumstance individually Brandi is in the wrong.
The salmon sounds delicious. I would have taken it to go.
If I were Joanna, I would have eaten right in front of her and sent her a CRAB cake. But BRANDI GLANVILLE is smarter than Joanna. I am sure her dinner companion came up with it, but still. Bravo.
On Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 11:35 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Joanna is a vegetarian.
Joanna should have sent Brandi a white napkin strategically smeared with ketchup. Oh well, in the words of Jim (?)from RHONJ- let the animals duke it out. Point Brandi. Not my fave person, but I will give credit where credit is due.
Joanna always comes up with the laaaaamest come-backs. No way could she think up crab cakes, unfortunately.
Oh god. She and I are the same age. Well played fish, well played. Please let her begone
I don’t find her ‘prank’ amusing in the least. It’s petty, juvenile, and vicious, and most importantly, unprovoked.
Of course, Brandi claims her knowledge of the state of Joanna’s nether regions comes from Mohammed Hadid, who categorically denies he ever said such a thing. I await his turn on the witness stand with great anticipation.
JOANNA IS THREATENING TO SUE SOMEONE FOR SAYING HER PUSSY STINKS!
God you have the Oldtimers lately, TRho!
That Cease and Desist beats Patrica’s Cease and Desist to me for calling her a yankee by ten miles!
http://s17948.p858.sites.pressdns.com/2015/04/17/jesus-damn-yankees-are-difficult-creatures/
On Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 11:43 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I find nothing humorous about women demeaning each other about their genitals, for fucksake. Blame it on Alzheimer’s or maturity.
I’m sorry you are old and Alzheimer’s with no sense of humor. I remember when you would find this hysterical.
On Thu, Jun 4, 2015 at 2:08 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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In theory, it may be amusing. Online, it may read as clever to some. In real life, it’s sad and pathetic.
To me too there is something sad and pathetic about it. It is just so classless and low to put that out there. Then again…Brandi. HW of BH trailer park.
Hear, hear! Across the board, BG is obsessed with the hoohaw of others. She hasn’t been off the tv long enough for me. It’s just her same, tired fixation on the vaj.
Although it is a powerful instrument, I’ll give her that.
Well played Brandi. Hilarious!
Yes TT, it would had been best if Joanna ate the salmon dish and sent a thank you back of some type.
CRAB CAKES.
Does no one get the CRAB cake thing? WTF is wrong with you people? I carefully screen you to have SOME KIND OF SENSE.
Jesus.
On Thu, Jun 4, 2015 at 12:04 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Clearly, neither Joanna or Roman were clever enough to think of it 🙂
I loved the crab cake that was hilarious and the fish laughed alot on this post.
TT I got the Crab Cake reference, I mistakenly did not write it. Haha
Ok??
I get the crab cake reference. No, that was very good Tamara. Maybe a lot of the people who visit here are too good and/or innocent? IDK.
I get it, and if it was a drunken crabs plate I would have gone for it, but I think the better thing to have sent to her table would have been the Pigs in a blanket $12. Costs less, hits home faster, and tackles both at the table since you know they were both snickering when they did it.
I considered the pigs in blankets, and decided to hold it in reserve if another round was played. 🙂 We were still on the fish course. 🙂
On Thu, Jun 4, 2015 at 5:49 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Really funny and thanks!
I get it. That is why I said it’s really funny if Siri reads it to you.
It is called taking the high road. “Never mud-wrestle with a pig, you both get dirty and the pig likes it.” (George Bernard Shaw). Let Brandi play in the mud by herself. Pay her dust.
I got it. She has crabs.
What, you didn’t like the Brandizzle? I thought it was cute. But you’re absolutely correct. Joanna doesn’t have the brain power to think up crab cakes as a retort. Come to think of it, she may not know the meaning of “retort”.
I’d gas them both.
Hello CaliSteve!
This. All day this. And maybe we can throw Tamara Judge in there, please??
Round one goes to Brandi. I have to say for someone who is usually so rachet. That is how you get a dig in with class.
In a cage fight, Brandi would definitely emerge victorious.
OMG! Reality Star Cage Fighting! Bwahahahahahaha
Agreed! This is one of the first “classy” digs Brandi has ever throw at someone. I’m proud of her.
No way Brandi thought of this, must have been her gaygent.
That video is so annoying. She looks like an idiot. A 42 year old, upper middle class, white woman playing “gangster”? With a skater beanie and old lady sunglasses? I don’t think so. Oh, and she can’t rap for sh*t.
Brandi’s rapping is like her singing…it sucks! She looks and sounds ridiculous!
I have to admit, pretty funny sending Joanna the snapper but if Joanna had sent back crab cakes, that would have been hysterical! Too bad she didn’t think of it. However, I would still gas Brandi. Hate her and I don’t hate Joanna. I didn’t like her as much on RHOM’s last season, but nothing close to how much I despise Brandi. Maybe helps because I happen to think Joanna is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, ever! Her first season I liked her a lot as well. I was happy when Andy said that she was the HW he’d like to shag since I was sure it pissed off Brandi.
Oh sorry, she sent salmon not snapper! Lol
The fish dinner was funny but you are right, the tuna tartare would have been even better! And replying with crab cakes would have been spot on! I’m afraid neither Johanna nor Romaine understood the first volley.
As for gassing – do we really have to choose between a smelly turd
How the fuck does one sue over having her lady parts disparaged? Did Joanna and Brandi have sex? How the hell did she get Mohammed involved? WTF?!!!
I didn’t watch RHO Miami. An episode or two here and there. That’s all. I liked the old lady with the botched face lift. She was very smart, but also kind of Mama Joyce-ish.
I don’t particularly like Brandi. She is a mother of two sons though, and seems to be a good mother according to those who have seen her with her children. Joanna Kruppa does have a conscience, and she is working, but she needs a sense of humor or at least the ability to ignore someone like Brandi. Actually as obnoxious as I find Brandi to be, I think RHOBH needs her. Who will be the resident bitch? That slap sure cost her a lot.
Shhh….
I am still reeling with amazement that Brandi could be so subtle. Are you sure the Lisa Vanderpump did not text Brandi with the idea?
It’s so smart it’s almost making me like BG again. Almost.
Hilarious post! I would love to see drunken Brandi and Joanna in a cat fight, but my money would be on Brandi. She’s scrappier and taller. What would be the closer battle is a shriek-fest. Each of their voices goes into “nails on the chalkboard” stratum when they get upset!! And as an aside, I totally believe that Mohammed made the stinky pussy comment. As much as Joanna annoys me, Brandi saying that on WWHL was just low.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hilarious!
Joanna should order Brandi the crab cakes in return. Brandi said she has an STD! Lol the vagina fued!
Brandi is a low class broad, She’ll stoop so low that she’d have to be scraped out of the gutter. This show of spite is bound to cost her big bucks.
How long before Brandi tells Joanna your pussy is too stinky to be riding me this hard . Love Gamble- cant stop using that quote
Joanna should have sent Brandi a white napkin strategically smeared with ketchup. Oh well, in the words of Jim (?)from RHONJ- let the animals duke it out. Point Brandi. Not my fave person, but I will give credit where credit is due.
Gas them both. Please.
Isn’t this crazy bitch’s like 45 years old? Who acts like that. What a bad role model for her kids.
God forbid someone over 40 acts childish on occasion. Heed my warning because it will happen to you too: one day you will be in your 50s or 60s and, if life is kind to you, still feel like you are in your teens or twenties in your head. IF, I repeat, IF you’re lucky. If not, you will just feel and act OLD.
I swear I do not know why your comments are still in moderation. I’m working on it. AGAIN.
When my mother was in her 70’s, she said she still felt like she was 25 and was surprised every time she looked in a mirror.
If someone insulted my vagina (I giggled while typing that) I would not rush to file a lawsuit and bring even more attention to the situation. And the only way Joanna can prove that Brandi’s words cost her money is to tell the judge that her vagina is what makes her money. That was true at some point allegedly. Maybe it still is? I give Brandi the win for this one.
From a humorous standpoint, the win goes to Brandi, lol! From a legal standpoint, wouldn’t it help Joanna to document that public ‘harassment’ to help her court case (no legal background here, so I’m not sure if it would)? Not that I really care about either one of them – they can both kick rocks as far as I’m concerned.
How is sending a complimentary entrée to anyone harassment. People send bottles of champagne, drinks and food to people all the time at public restaurants.
On Thu, Jun 4, 2015 at 1:30 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Well, I did put harassment in thought quotes, lol! It’s a public perpetuation of the fish assertion in a pending lawsuit, though, but I don’t know if an attorney can use that or not – that’s not in my wheelhouse. But what is in my wheelhouse is imagining an attorney ordering Craig’s salmon to use with the jurors – maybe making them eat it, or at least smell it, after talking about ‘pungent pussy’ all morning. Talk about hacking up hairballs…!!
Joanna should send BG tampons with shorter strings so they dont hang out of her coochie when she is drunk.
Good one! I’m LMAO about the shorter strings ….
Better yet, detachable strings so that Brandi will have a Stinky Cootch too when she loses one up there…
This is the type of despicable-ness that I like in Brandi. LOL I cannot stop laughing.
oh my your typos are funny, “munch”
LOL!!!! Siri was reading this to me.
I used to like Brandi to.. Of course until she turned into an asshole.
You know what? Andy started this shit.
Obviously I am not teasing you for your typos. If you have Siri read your post to you then you’ll understand.
Okay, so I really enjoy reading this blog, but comparing any issue that relates to women on reality television to Sophie’s Choice is just plain wrong on all levels. Keep it in perspective.
You do realize that Sophie’s Choice is a work a fiction, both the novel and the movie, don’t you?
*work of fiction
I don’t think you do really enjoy this blog if this offends you. You’re on the wrong fucking blog.
On Thu, Jun 4, 2015 at 2:34 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I would let Brandi be gassed. Nothing to think about. Bye girl.
I guess you really missed the hyperbolic nature of the comparison? Somehow that’s even possible?
Cleary she is unfamiliar with the phrase. Which I sort of expected her which is why I went to the trouble to explain the origin of the phrase. Still, WHOOSH right over her noggin’. 🙂
And we are talking about gassing people too; I’m surprised she didn’t flip her shit over that too.
Meryl Streep was absolutely amazing in “Sophie’s Choice” by the way.
Some people apparently didn’t really know what Sophie’s Choice was.
On Sat, Jun 6, 2015 at 2:45 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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RHOM wasn’t my thing so I don’t know Johanna, but Brandi I’ve come to really dislike. Her joke reminds me for some reason of jokes about Liane De Pougy. Supposedly Toulouse Lautrec kept a matchbox with a crab he claimed he pulled off her. Classy.
I would’ve sent a “kids meal” to Brandi’s table.
Ha! And maybe some Night Train.
I would be arrested for assault somehow but I would have taken that $40 dish and smashed it into Brandi’s ugly botoxed face.
That would be wasteful. That salmon sounds devine.
On Thu, Jun 4, 2015 at 3:10 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I really hate Joanna, but I’d have to choose Brandi to die. At least Joanna does some good in the world with her animal rights stuff. What does Brandi contribute? Nada.
Good point.
It wouldn’t be a surprise if Joanna adds this “insult” to her lawsuit. I can just imagine the depositions now. However will the attorneys keep a straight face? Do depositions every get leaked? Fingers crossed!!
Cawoman me too!
I was thinking how the courtroom would snicker at Joanna’s attorney describing the salmon dish incident.
I watched Real housewives of Miami and I still watch Real housewives of Beverly Hills. Joanna Krupa is a self absorbed twat and she would be gassed for sure first! Brandi is annoying but thats about it. She has a good heart which I highly doubt Joanna Krupa has. Also with regards to the lawsuit…typical Eastern European immigrant behaviour. They are very insecure bitchy females.
Ok, I know nothing about Joanna, having never watched Miami. But, are you actually saying there is someone out there who is worse than Brandi? Is that really even possible?
Can you imagine billionaire Mohamed hanging out with Lisa and Brandi and admitting that he slept with Joanna (cheated on Yo) and saying Jo’s pussy smells? What a lying liar BG is.
All kidding aside I think I would sue her too for saying this on tv multiple times. Trash talk me at the beauty salon but not on national tv with something so vile and disgusting….
I can TOTALLY see Mohammed saying that.
On Fri, Jun 5, 2015 at 1:32 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yup, me too. All one needs to do is remember his orgy rooms in his mansion and one totally gets it. Apparently Josie thinks billionaires cannot be pigs? Didn’t a housewife once say “money can’t buy you class”? LOL
I get he is a playboy and that all men talk locker room talk. However, Lisa and he deny it and both are friends with Joanna but if Brandi said it then it must be true….Brandi would never lie.
LOL. Lisa Vanderpump would never lie. And certainly not in court.
http://s17948.p858.sites.pressdns.com/?s=Bustillos
And Mohammed is known for his upstanding character.
That is if they ever denied it. Which I have no record of.
On Sun, Jun 7, 2015 at 9:03 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Good point TT. I will defer to your judgement regarding guilt. I consider you a better judge of character.
However, lying liar Hadid did tweet multiple times that it was a lie. Some of his tweets & an article about it are still on Bravo’s site. google also has screenshots. Anyway, thanks for suffering through this odoriferous incident to give us some laughter ☺