It’s time for the Real Housewives of New York. Unfortunately, my power has been out off and on all day due to bad weather. The power and the cable came back on fairly quickly, but the Internet has been out for several hours. My landline appears to be the issue as it is all part of Charter. Without the phone, there is no Internet. Since I have no cell phone, I have no way to call and be sure there is nothing I can do on my end to fix the problem. Anyhoo. At least I have TV. And good ole Wordpad.
Since hour three with no Google, I’ve probably gone to look up fifty things. I really want to know how things went for Jason Rezaian. I’d like to believe out current administration did someone about the situation. But I have no real hope of that. Meanwhile, I’m in Madagascar with Anthony Bourdain, which would not be a bad place to be, but he brought some pansy liberal, and worst of all as far as Tony is concerned VEGETARIAN , director with him. I think Anthony is enjoying him even less than I am. I wrote that before he called him a “Debbie Downer” on camera. He is the reason mere mortals can’t go on Parts Unknown with Anthony.
It’s time for RHONY and I am officially still without phone or Internet with more storms planned every day for the next ten days except Saturday and Sunday. Tonight’s episode is callled The Cavi-Art of War.
Ramona is sick but going out to lunch with Dorinda anyway. I’m sure Dorinda is thrilled by her spewing germs everywhere. Ramona claims that Mario wants her back. I do not believe this. This is just a little stab at the new fool he is with. The dry cleaner storyline is about to be a thing. UGH.
Back in the delusional world of Sonja, she is having some sort of a deal for her um, fashion line. It’s raining so the step and repeat is inside which means she “had to cancel half the press” because we all know the press swells up to twice their normal size when they enter a building and could not possibly fit if it were raining. Cancelling half the press for a press event is clearly how international businesswomen like Sonja react to some rain.
Now the story is that the event is not for the press but something to do with one small Latin magazine no one has ever heard of. Dominck, Sonja’s gay 24-year-old who is playing the role of her boytoy is on hand. I assume his partner is floating around as well. None of the three have ever met a camera they did not like. Sonja does look pretty on the magazine cover.
So far, Kristen, Dorinda and Ramona have braved the torrential downpours to be supportive of this, um, venture. I’ve never been happier to see Bethenny Frankel IN. My. Life. I am waiting for her to ask all the obvious questions. Like, since when is Ramona a Latina? Where is her product line? What is the point of this entire fiasco?
Bethenny in her talking head says about the whole Latina thing, that she felt like telling her, “I just want to let you know, I am going to be on the cover of equine magazine.” Like me, Bethenny found the photos beautiful. And she was wearing the solitary red sample dress in the photos. Bethenny says, ” This was not a box without a toaster! This box had a toaster!’ Oh Bethenny you disappoint me.
Ramona talks to Bethenny about the whackadoodle sports bar partnership. Ramona says, “Oh yeah! It’s great! The other night I had to bring Mario food….” Wait, (insert record scratching noise here) WHUT?
Thank God for Heather who is pointing out there is no fashion line. Heather asks where they are selling. The foreign (Indian?) dude says they are talking with several retail chains trying to find the best place. And Heather says, “So like K-Mart?” Sonja is offended. Um, having a line in K-Mart is nothing to sneeze at.
Dorinda’s Birthday Dinner
I dunno what we just transitioned into. It looks like Dorinda the dry cleaner, Luann, Ramona and her new age appropriate date and Heather and her husband are at a birthday dinner for Dorinda. There is a slutty shot girl who is actually serving champagne with several kinds of caviar. Heather digs into to the caviar like Bravo is paying. I hate caviar. Maybe I’ve just never had “the good stuff” but for me, it’s like when I didn’t like pot in high school. I feel like I am on pot all the time, so actually smoking pot just makes me go to sleep or be up and paranoid if in a weird environment. Pot is not my thing. Caviar is not my thing. I don’t try to make y’all like Vienna sausages out of the can, or chicken livers and tell you that you just haven’t had the right kind yet. Caviar people are cult like. Like pot heads. I do know enough to know there is at least a couple hundy in caviar on Heather’s plate.
I also know enough to know we are being set up for John to be perverted again, and I am going to zippity do dah right past that without recapping. Because, it sort of sucks to know so much about reality TV that the storylines are all “foreshadowed” to death before they actually occur. And I’ve already seen this one more times than I care to.
But first, Ramona basically says that Dorinda is her good friend and Heather and Luann are people she has to have a wall up with. So the three female guests fight at the birthday. Luann starts stirring the pot. Luann says that Dorinda called Luann about things that were said between Ramona and Luann about the dry cleaner. So Dorinda apparently called Luann and Luann wants to air it all out during Dorinda’s birthday celebration. Is Ramona’s new man still there or is he giving the dry cleaner a handy in the bathroom? Now they are both back.
Ramona is drunk and obnoxious. Luann (laughingly) gives her “I am going to stick Ramona’s face in the caviar” line. And scene.
Next week: We return to the dreaded Berkshires. Dorinda’s huge house has sort of a 70’s porn theme with lots of purple velet sofas and other weridness. Dorinda gets tipsy and goes in on Kristen for the gross incident with Kristen and one of the other girls at an event with John. Kristen cut it off when it got WAY out of hand and Dorinda is going to yell at Kristen? Wow. Ramona’s new man, that we met tonight has also been with Mario’s mistress? It looks like Bethenny goes to the Berkshires anyway and shows up just for dinner with no idea about the dress code. She gets into it with Heather. Again.