It’s time for the whole Bethenny and Andrew Debacle. Bethenny was actually good at interviewing housewives on her show because she was appalled it had come to the point where she had to have them on. And she resented them; however, I don’t have very high expectations for this.
Q: Do you feel like you had a lot to do with the creation of housewives? Like were you there from the very beginning?
A: I was there from the very beginning with a very creative people at Bravo. When on season two, of RHOOC Jeanna and her husband began to divorce he knew it would be big.
Q: Do you honestly think that reality TV has contributed to so many of these breakups? (um, DUH)
A: I think it has accelerated marriages that weren’t working. He says he has talked to Tamra about it, he’s talked to Vicki… (He plays a scene of Tamra crying on WWHL telling him how much she has done for him. I’m vomiting a little in my mouth right now. As he seems to be saying these women are thanking him for destroying their families.) if they were in a relationship that wasn’t working, they somehow saw it replayed on TV and they were like “wow this is really bad! And they had a chorus of people saying ‘Dump him! Dump him!’ and they actually had the balls to do it. Wow. Andy is Sonja delusional.
Q. Who have you been the most wrong about on the housewives? And who have you been the most right about?
A: I was initially wrong about you because when I saw the first casting tape (which they showed, it was awesome ) I was reticent about you because you had been on The Apprentice, and I thought that was weird at the time. Isn’t that funny?
Conversation flows to Lisa Rinna who was on the first casting reel for Beverly Hills (FUCK! WE COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING HER THIS WHOLE TIME!) Bethenny says she takes responsibility for Lisa Rinna being on because Bethenny has been advocating for her the whole time and Andy never wanted her. He says he didn’t want actresses on RHOBH, um Kim? Kyle? #eyeroll But now he likes her because she was fabulous.
Andy says he has been wrong a thousand times. He didn’t get Kim Zolciak on the first season of RHOA!!! He didn’t get her, she looked like this country star to him (translation, how would she fit in with all the ghetto pretend rich people he was trying to cast?) he was like…wait for it.. “We have this WHITE WOMAN??? What? I just didn’t get it.” We know Andy. You cast a show in the south without any input from ANYONE in the city about wealth, class, race relations in Atlanta, and so you wanted to do straight up ratchet black women. And you miscast a couple who were actually lovely women so you fired them (Lisa Wu, that Snow woman) and kept going until you got what you wanted.
While we are being racist, Bethenny says, we need a black woman on New York! I can’t with these people. Andy of course says,”100% we almost had an amazing black woman! (because that would be shocking. She was black and amazing? It’s like a unicorn!) Bethenny chimes in, “TWO OF “THEM”! One I was friends with!” Does no one there edit out these horrid conversations? Do people still talk like this in 2015? I can’t even recap this conversation.
Q: I think you should tell people what it takes to be a housewife because people say to me, “Why don’t they have this person, why don’t they have that person..like someone asked me why don’t they have an afr…I mean it’s harder than you think. ” It’s harder than you think to find a black housewife? Really? according to Andy, that is all there are in Atlanta. He doesn’t understand why there was a white one…
A: YES! To me the absolute key, and we have screwed up before, and we in theory didn’t get it right with Joyce and Carlton on Beverly Hills…. they would have been great housewives, I think the issue is they didn’t really have a natural connection to any of the women and I think a natural real connection first of all as a point of entry is super important which is part of the reason I think Dorinda is a great housewife. (UGH. Y’all keep saying that but I have yet to see it.) she has history with Ramona… Bethenny interrupts and says she had zero connection to any of the women when she came in first season. Andy says, that’s fine but first season is “diff” first season for whatever reason there were some that kind of had loose connections…but really… like Jill and Ramona had a connection…you and Jill knew each other briefly, (Bethenny says, briefly, you’re right) so there were light connections. You should check out Tamaratattles.com.
Q: Something about hating to hate and loving to hate on Bravo shows.
A: When you end a show, and you and I have talked about this and you have said, ….what about this person….there are people who we have …ah … ended our relationship with.. who we have found that the viewers… if you… some people they love to hate… and it’s… they’re a thorn in their side but they say, would I watch the show without them? Maybe not… (Oh Andrew you are so confused about who those people are, I know you think they are Nene and Tamra and Brandi but trust, we would love if they were gone.)
But there are people that they hate to hate and which means it’s not fun. When this person comes on it’s not fun for the viewers….IF ONLY ANDY REALIZED WE HATE TO HATE NENE FUCKING LEAKES. He could save himself a lot of money. I don’t believe any of what he is saying right now or else he is very deluded. On the other hand maybe he is right. I have to throw idiots in the window licking section here at TamaraTattles.com all the time because they hate every post I make and everyone on every show I discuss. AND THEY WILL NOT GO THE FUCK AWAY ON THEIR OWN. I hate most blogs and my time is limited so I go to the ones where, oh I dunno, I actually have something in common with the blogger.
Bethenny talks about how polarizing she is. Andy says that she can be a real bitch but one second later she can be really funny and then you are really vulnerable. (which is why my position changes on Bethenny all the time).
Q: What has been the biggest conflict behind the scenes for you ( I paraphrase)
A: It’s Jersey. And it’s so many layers of “if she’s on I won’t” and … Bethenny says, “… and they mean it and they have leverage because you need these cast members…” Andy says the real backstory has been told many times incorrectly about when Melissa was cast and when Teresa knew. There are fragments of what has been out there. I don’t think Teresa certainly cared for them to have been on the show. (Bethenny chimes in with “I agree” as if she has all the tea. yet no one is spilling.) Andy says they both have such wildly different stories and somewhere in between is the truth. REALLY? Teresa is in fucking prison and RHONJ is just hanging there… and you can’t tell us the truth on a story from five fucking years ago because you want to discuss the two really amazing black women you almost had on RHONY and then had to reabsorb the old cast again? OK.
Q: Which housewife and which housewife’s husband would you most like to sleep with of all of the franchises if you had to pick one of each?
A: I think for men….I always learn toward Apollo. Andy says to Bethenny, “I know you’ve never been with a black guy, but the time has come” They both laugh. I feel like I don’t live in the same world with these people. I live in the deep south and we even have people from ….hold on to your hat… OTHER COUNTRIES in my family… Is this lack of interracial interactions a rich people thing? IDGI.
For his female choice, Andy says, “You know what? I think I might say Joanna Krupa.” Bethenny points out that his choices are superficial which is what I was going to say in much meaner terms. Andy is all like ,”duh.” At least he knows he is superficial I mean seriously, he picks the felon and the alleged prostitute. Even if those were your choices if you were on national TV or on tamaratattles.com wouldn’t you say like, oh maybe Maurico because he is hot and successful and smart then since you are gay and friends with Bethenny just pick her, because she is hot and successful and smart? I mean sure a turn on Apollo and/or Joanna might be fun for some people but do you really want to um, go there?
Q: What housewife has emailed you the most?
A: Clearly we are not going to get a real interview here. Bethenny wants him to expound on the fact that Jill Zarin emailed him like a lunatic. And Andy says probably Bethenny because they are friends (or however he couched it) and you know the RHONY, Jill emailed me a lot… the Countess.. Ramona…
Q: Bethenny’s long winded question is about how he tries not to show favoritism BWAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA on reunions and how there is more push back from the women, cut to the clip of Ramona telling him she is not discussing her divorce because she has a child and asking him who he is going to have sex with tonight and him responding with, “I’ll tell you when I am on a reality show with someone I am sleeping with.”
A: Attention people who copy my transcripts and do not give me credit. You should be very careful and read material that is proprietary to TamaraTattles.com Bethenny prattles on and the question ends up being about does he care when the housewives “give him heat.”
Andy says no, because as you know… about the pajamas …..(reference is to Bethenny in her four year old’s hello Kitty PJs) and how is she too skinny, it’s all such bullshit. Then he says he does care because the OC women email him all the time and he wants to let them know it was misconstrued? The reunion shows are misconstrued? Like weren’t they all sitting there together?
Okay, I’ve been typing about this shit show for like two hours now. I am starting to nod off. WTF are they talking about? Does he care when they come after him or not? Does he care when he says shady shit and it hurts their feeling are not? He is not answering. . He basically says he pokes at everyone. BULLSHIT. He licks Vanderpumps asshole.
Bethenny basically says she did not need to come back for the money. Oh really. So why? But she thinks Sonja needs the money so she outs Sonja for emailing her about how she is coming off. She told Sonja she is working and if you aren’t controversial you aren’t doing your job. Bethenny wants us to know she is not like the women on the show that need a paycheck.
Q: I don’t know if it is the beer or what, but I don’t understand the secret language between these two. It’s like they speak a secret twin language. Bethenny seems to be asking if he feels under the gun by a housewife when another one trashes them on WWHL.
A: Andy says, he had a situation where Dr Dubrow trashed Bethenny on the show. Bethenny’s spine suddenly got rigid and she sat up two inches in her seat. Don’t believe me just watch! SIDE NOTE OMG! I THINK I HAVE INTERNET! But I shall carry on on Wordpad at 1 am. They play the clip and all Dr. Dubrow said was Bethenny needs to gain some weight. He hardly “trashed her.” Andy saw Bethenny tweeting after that episode and he was all worried BECAUSE HE HAS THIS NEED TO BE LIKED . Or as he put it “I have got to get clean with this one.” #EYEROLL Bethenny giggles. They talk about Twitter wars and how Andy immediately texted Bethenny so she would still love him.
Then he points out that she tweeted that now that Nene is a “rich bitch” she can’t respond to her emails. OH PLEASE GOD NOE. NOE. NOE. NOE. Do not let these two get together. Or maybe I want them too because Bethenny will realize that Nene doesn’t know what the fuck she is doing.
Wow Andy says, regarding idiots on Twitter, that when Jersey is on, they are impossible and he kind of wants the season to be over. He says, talk to Caroline Manzo, who he likes about how brutal they are. It’s awful for him. Andy does read his tweets and I IMPLORE you do not include me in tweets to people from Bravo you like or don’t like. It makes my job so much harder. Thanks in advance.
LOL Andy talks about the Tre-huggers. So funny didn’t I start that? Maybe not. He says that there were some dark days… with regard to Teresa fans harassing him. They move on to Brandi and her whackadoodle fans. Bethenny says “she’s polarizing” a word she used to describe herself, last year when I started this post, so I assume she wants to keep her. She likes Nene too. And Andy is like um, yeah. (I think Brandi is fired).
Dear God I could have multiplied the earth and cured cancer in the amount of time this is taking me to recap. Eons have passed. Civilizations have crumbled… and I am still fucking recapping this godforsaken fuckfest between Bethenny and Andy that reveals less than an episode of REAL HOUSEWIVES OF WHERE THE FUCK EVER SECRETS REVEALED!
Q: What was your greatest housewives moment ever?
A: I am at this point completely prepared with barf bucket for… meeting you my pookie wookie dream girl. I’m sorry I hated you when you were poor but now that you can buy me 20 times over I find you so fasicnating and polarizing….
He says it is just an absurd moment that defines the entire operation. Well that would be letting Nene Leakes ask you if she wanted you to throw you a gay pride parade and kiss your ass. But he says it was the season one Atlanta reunion when I asked Kim Zolciak about her having cancer and she went into some crazy story about sitting in the parking lot of Chili’s (too many details) about waiting for cancer results and it turned out she did not have cancer. He says that the RHONY reunions are the ones where he is internally laughing the most. Because they are absurd.
Then there is the requisite mutual ass kissing and it’s over.