I have nothing to post this evening because it is Memorial Day and there is nothing on. Which would be a great time for some me time. If only.
I cannot stand a cluttered inbox and I get a billion emails a day. Emails for each comment, emails from ten billion people wanting to sell advertising, emails from people wanting me to cover their client’s show, appearance, envelope opening, emails from me from y’all directing me to (usually interesting) things I might want to blog about, emails from people wanting to start their own blog and asking for help, emails from some groups I belong to, emails from networks with PRs, emails from y’all asking about my day, emails from y’all telling me something you posted five minutes ago is still in moderation, emails from me people telling me to stop posting about one show and post more about midget shows… it never ends.
Since it was Memorial day weekend, I had sort of planned to at least grill a hotdog and have a beer. But I could not find the time. So I thought about Checkers.
Checkers is a fast food place. I don’t get Checkers. Checkers has TWO drive thrus. Two. But one is on the passenger side. Chick-Fil-A has a store like that, but they tell you before you get in line, you need to have a passenger to go through that window. There is no sign at Checkers. So it is sort of chaos. All I really know about Checkers is that is close but on a busy intersection and hard to get in or out of the parking lot. And they sell hot dogs. Chili dogs to be more specific.
It’s is Memorial Day weekend and I feel it is my patriotic duty to eat a chili dog. So I get in line behind a guy in a convertible. It is a lovely day so I open my moon roof. Which I am not sure I am allowed to do during the day, but I’m a rule breaker. I oder the #13 size small. One small coke, one small fry, one teeny chili dog. Practically a chili pup, really. Then I decide to get a box of five chicken wings, because tomorrow is the actual holiday and I will need some celebratory food stuff for that as well. They will keep.
Sidenote: The paramedics are next door again. My living room feels like a disco with all the red lights. Can’t they turn them off when they reach the destination?
Where was I? Oh yeah, the drive thru. So I drive around and there is no one there because while there are two drive thrus there is apparently only one cash register. So as I am sitting at the window they have a little add on the window that offers a 32 ounce sweet tea for a dollar. This is an especially good deal because I will water it down and make like five glasses of tea out of it for tomorrow. Because that makes it diet. So I say, “I’ll take one of those large teas for a dollar, too please!” And Heather ( I am guessing) says, ” What?” Again I point to the sticker on the window.
“The large sweet tea, for a dollar you are advertising to me right her on the sticker. I’d like one of those please.
“Oh, it’s not a large.”
“Okay, I will still take one. It says it is 32 ounces. I assumed.”
“It’s a medium.”
“Okay then. Please add it to my bill.”
She hands me a 32 ounce tea with ice.
“I have another question, do the wings come with blue cheese or ranch or something?”
I mean they should they are almost six dollars with no drink, no fries.
“No it’s just the wings.”
“Do you have blue cheese?”
“Well we have it, it just doesn’t come with it.”
“Well can I get it? You know, like a side?”
“Oh yeah. You can get it. It’s just extra.”
“It’s fine. Just add a side of blue cheese then.”
“Well, it’s 15 cents” Heather says softly. “Is that okay?”
“Yes. I think I have that, it’s fine.”
It was more than fine. It was a container of prepacked blue cheese with like enough blue cheese to get the job done on five wings and some fries too. Of course Heather put everything on my chili pup and it was a smashed mess. But good in a “this erases all of my organic eating for an entire life time sort of way. The mixture of carcinogens on the fries were the perfect, patriotic complement. The wings were excellent. I went with “Buffalo Medium” because Heather said they were the most popular, and well I haven’t had wings since 1992. BUT THEY WERE NOT WINGS. I did not get five WINGS. I got five half wings. Some drumettes, others were wing tips. I got two and a half wings.
Somehow I paid like $12 AND FIFTEEN CENTS for a small coke, a medium tea, a small fry, a chili pup and two and a half wings. There wasn’t even cole slaw involved. I of course at it all at once and saved the tea for tomorrow.
So that was the height of Memorial Day weekend so far. Except that the Gaybor and his mother just left in an ambulance. He was in the front. She was in the back. She’s really old and mean. This is her second ambulance trip in a few months. I sure this one will somehow be my fault too. I mean I did plant more tomatoes today. Total of seven plants this year.
How is your weekend going?