It’s time for the much anticipated Real Housewives of Melbourne Reunion. I love when they show everyone arriving and getting into make-up. Lydia has gorgeous hair. Alex Perry is such a douchebag. Why doesn’t someone tell him that sunglasses are not hair pieces. I really appreciate that this group of ladies don’t make me look at their nipples and tits all night. Their lady bits are all tastefully covered. I think all the dresses are lovely for a change, and I love Chyka’s dress with the pockets. I also love Chyka’s jewelry but it doesn’t seem to go with the gown. The colors are fighting. At least on my TV.
Alex calls Jackie the voice of truth. Lydia says her husband Andrew is on the mend after a blood infection that lead to heart surgery and a blood transfusion. Lydia says she was a bit quieter on the show this season after she experienced a difficult time last season with hateful comments on the Internet.
Gina had a book party for her new autobiography and then opted to either not invite or disinvite all of the housewives. Gina said she decided it wasn’t really an event for the housewives and she opted to keep it simple. Gina said she didn’t want the girls to say bad things to the press because then she might have to stab them. So it looks like Gina has no allies for tonight’s mêlée.
Except for Gamble. They play a montage of Gamble saying how much she loves Gina over and over. Gamble is embarrassed by all the clips strung together of her undying devotion. Gamble has a step daughter she is raising that is not seen on the show. Pettifleur says Gamble was sniffing up Gina’s ass all season. Gamble says that Pettifleur speaks in a very vulgar fashion. Pettifleur is wearing a necklace that says Switch the Bitch. It’s crooked.
Time for Pettifleur. Ugh. A montage of her being a bitch and saying bitch several times. A Facebook question asks why she treats people like second class citizens when she came from humble beginnings herself. Despite just watching a montage of her barking orders at all manner of people, she denies she is like that. So the ladies asked what she thought when she saw her behavior on TV. She says she was horrified and had no idea she sounded like that. What a load of crap. Pettifleur keeping talking about how she clawed her way to the top is self-made. She works in a man’s world and has to talk really hard to the guys.
Gamble’s montage is funny stuff. Gamble realizes she is not the most intelligent on the show, but what others see as her being stupid, is for the most part her just being very silly. Cue the montage of everyone calling here stupid. Alex asks why the two new girls did not stick together. She says that Pettifleur called here stupid before she even met here and once she met her she found that Pettifleur was obsessed with money and labels. Pettifleur was insulting her on and off camera. Gamble says that her money came from her ex-husband. Pettifleur apologizes for asking Gamble where she got her money.
Next up is Jackie who managed to come off even worse this season than last. Jackie and Gina have a complicated relationship. Jackie is pissed that Gina called her a bogan. Apparently, Gina’s potnah was in town when Pettifleur had her birthday. He is friends with Pettifleur’s potnah, Frank. Those two were having drinks on the balcony trying to stay off camera during the party. That is why Gina went outside. Jackie was being a cunt because apparently she was afraid that Gina’s potnah was going to come for her because she said on national television that the voices in her head said he was having an affair in season one. Jackie claims she was worried about retaliation from him, but how does that explain her chasing Gina all around the party like she was about to get physical? Gina and Jackie have talked it out. Gina said that she would never let anything happen to Jackie.
Viewer question, why did the girls get upset because Gina said their pupils were dilated. Janet gets up to get a drink and the ladies all take a random break to go to the bar behind the scenes. That was kind of funny. Lisa Vanderpump can’t even get a minute to have a nice cup of tea and these bogan fools can just toddle off to the bar at will.
Oh lord. Back to Pettifleur. Surely this does not mean she is coming back next season. Some of the ladies have barely spoken and we are going back to Pettifleur for a second helping. It’s all about Switch the Bitch. Please make it stop. I zip through the extensive montage to find Pettifleur sort of crying on the sofa. Alex asks if she will do a reading from the book. Oh Alex, please just die in a fire. You are the worst host in the world. Chyka pulls a tissue out of her pocket and passes it to Pettifleur. Oh dear God there is a switch the bitch ring as well.
Janet turns to Chyka and says that Pettifleur is not crying at all. It’s all bullshit. Not a tear has fallen.. Pettifleur tells Alex that the copy she is unfortunately about to read from is underlined and annotated by her son. Janet continues to talk to Chyka and says Pettifleur is making her uncomfortable with all the putting on. Wait it looks like all of the marks by her son are “edits.”
Pettifleur discusses the Omarosa’s book. She knew about it. She understands the copyright laws and is not concerned. Somehow a fight has broken out between Gamble and Lydia. Gamble has some publishing experience and this is apparently news to everyone.
After the break, the bout is between Gina and Pettifleur. And the show cuts off after only one hour, and clearly it went on a few more minutes. I thought maybe Bravo would trim a commercial and the “coming up” scenes to get it in under an hour, but apparently, they just sliced the end off.