I just emailed my therapist that I will not be there tomorrow. My therapist is fine and was selected by some online friends. The repetitiveness of our meetings is basically me refusing to listen. I get I need to just DO SHIT. Be social. Make friends. Join groups.
I get it.
I got it at $180 an hour.
I got it.
I also get not being able to GET UP. I get that asking y’all to buy a tomato plant sounds stupid. I get the next step of taking 15 minutes to go outside and walks sound like fucking finding a bra an actually moving. But I think we all know what we should do. I don’t think you need me or a shrink for those things. And I talk to you guys. So let’s get better together. I already know all the steps. I’m just resistant. I don’t need to pay someone $180 to tell me. I’ve probably had more psych classes than she has.
I think the tomato therapy will work for most of us. Grow a tomato. This doesn’t mean dragging home a plant with tomatoes on the vine. IT MEANS GROW A TOMATO. From seed or seedling into fruiton. WALK. Just as tiny walk everyday. I so did not want to today but my dog forced me.
Use the gardening page to chart your results.
It really doesn’t matter what the shrink says unless we DO SOMETHING.
I’m giving you free shrink advice, Tamara style. Plant at tomato. Walk 15 minutes a day (or more). We will be fine. We are all lonely. Is it your fault if you don’t leave the house?
I so admire you & your candor; always have & always will. Warmest Regards Marc
I really truly needed your words right now, and I thank you. I don’t want to sound like some sappy fool, but thank you, I think I love you more than a real therapist for laying it out the way you did. Thanks for this post, and all your posts, really.
You’re welcome. Let’s get up off our collective fat asses and enjoy the day!
On Thu, May 21, 2015 at 1:21 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
So, tomorrow I happen to have an appointment with a therapist I last saw in 2012. I really relate to where you are today, TT. I surprise and frustrate myself with the amount of resistance I have for doing things that I know would benefit myself.
I will grow that tomato and walk 15 minutes…why not give it a try. Thanks. Love the dogs and beach! Is the one on the right a heeler?
I actually prefer being alone. I’ve been avoiding people for 50 years…I’m good at it. It’s comfortable. Social media is about as social as I can be. If you met me in person, and said Hello”, I would become invisible.
Hi Cat!
You wouldn’t be “invisible” to me! We would be friends immediately. I really enjoy you on here. You would like me I’m sure and be comfortable around me as I would be with you ! 🙂
I would hope so. But it never seems to work out that way. I don’t have real friends for very long. I’ve been told I’m too “intense”.
That would be ok with me Cat. I don’t care for Vanilla people.
Hannah, I love that and understand that!
And, Cat…I’ve always had a connection with you since day flipping 1! I admire and am inspired by your intensity! I was blessed or cursed, with the same damn gene! I get the complications and the beauty of it. You’re an amazingly strong woman. Believe that!
Sorry to hear that Cat ; I would hate to think if I said Hello in real life you think you would be invisible…I love reading your posts they are always on point & articulate & you are a very nice person & I have always enjoyed your take on things
Thanks. It would be nice to have a friend or two.
Cat, you have tons of friends. They (we) are all right here with you .
Sign me up on the friend list.
Great! Now I have someone to share KC BBQ with! 🙂
I never eat out. Restaurants are a social thing to me.
TT,
It’s easier to do and talk about things on here. I know my sisters tell me I need to get out more. How many times do I have to hear that? I’ve been home 3 years and I retired early. Retired early meaning I have been working OUTSIDE my home in an office in another town driving back and forth for 35 or more years where traffic is atrocious as it is everywhere now. In my younger years I worked in my home town between the age of 25 years old until about age 32.
As a teenager I worked an after school job. I was 15 years old at the time.
It seems life has been a rush, rush and more rushing to get things done and, thousands of things going on at work and outside of work.
Now I finally get to stay home and I’m like going bat sh*t crazy SOMETIMES! It does feel good though to do things my way and enjoy this freedom. But, alas, family (that don’t live with me ) thinks I need to find SOMETHING to do!! I think I earned my peace and quiet. My life has ALWAYS BEEN ACTION PACKED. Now I follow my own schedule. If I want to do nothing then I do nothing. I’VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO HAVE THIS OPTION IN MY LIFE! I suppose I shouldn’t say, EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT! It’s great being home but I do sometimes miss the NO TIME TO MYSELF action packed days!
I admire you so much Tamara working in your home with Banjo and keeping us ladies happy and updated on all these shows. It entertains and is fun for us. But I do know for sure it’s a lot of hours you put into these blogs and all the resourcing it takes to get correct information to us is huge. I thank you.
Ooh, I know how you feel.
See Cat, we’re friends already! It make me happy! I like intense!
My Fam Dr gave me low dose Adderall and I bought a Fitbit. 10k steps a day. More energy and optimism in a pill. Beat years of therapy and anti-depressants.
After many terrible anti depressant cocktails I’ve been put on throughout my life, I halted everything & happiness came to me when I changed my own life & removed myself from my mother. I was prescribed adderal recently & unlike most other college students, I actually NEED it. It doesn’t even have anything to do with my grades, I just feel like the best version of myself when I’m taking it, and I don’t even take it every day. My psych told me I was most likely always misdiagnosed because the problem surrounding my behavior was looked at instead of my actual behavioral problems. Tamara talks often of being misdiagnosed and put on medication your body doesn’t need. I’m not always sure anti depressants are the way to go for anyone at this point. We are quick to fill a script instead of stepping back to look at our life as a whole. Since battling major clinical depression as a teenager & even spending time in a hospital for it… I made a vow to myself that I would never go through it again. Oddly enough, I recently decided to move AWAY from my toxic mother again, and suddenly life has gotten much brighter. My dad has tried to give me fair warning on this many times and I enjoy telling him how right he is now.
You’re a very strong girl. Good for you. Live a good life, you deserve it.
I have to gently disagree, TT. Sometimes therapy is a life saving necessity. In 2004, my son was diagnosed in the 99% range of depression. He was 14. Two months later, his father decided he wanted a divorce to pursue his personal happiness. My son’s depression spiraled into psychosis. He was resistant to the meds. They wouldn’t work or they did the opposite of what they were supposed to do. It took 10 years to find a med to stop the paranoia. My therapist found a great psychiatrist who specialized in adolescents with severe mental illness. He helped Joe work through the depression. When my son was well enough to attend a special ed school, my therapist helped me find the courage to go back to work after being a stay at home mom for 20 years. She helped me to keep fighting to get my son the right treatment, to sue my ex for help in financially supporting my son (the ex refused to believe our son was mentally ill). She connected me to my wonderful lawyer and to the rehabilitation gym that tenderly helped my son move again after lying curled in the fetal position for almost two years. She taught me that I can stand up to people and fight to get what I need and what my kids need–even if I have to fight my ex. In the darkest times, when the medication failed and my son was hearing voices and hiding in the bathroom, she was there supporting both of us and getting us through one more day. There have been times that I have had no clue what to do next and with her help I clear my head and we work out a game plan. After 10 long years, my son is no longer paranoid or depressed. He is learning to live in this world as a 24 year old man. He is going back to college in June. He is happy. I am working, in a loving relationship with a good man, and I am strong and independent. Somethings can be treated with common sense and friendship but sometimes when we are really broken, we need more. I am not saying what we are doing here isn’t invaluable and treasured, I just want address that therapy can save lives.
So true. And these days, it seems the word “depression” is some kind of catch all diagnosis, especially when they can’t find the real problem. It’s certainly more serious than just being “moody”.
I’m so glad your son is better able to cope now. It’s hard work, not only for him, but for those around him who love him.
Thanks, Cat. And yeah, clinical depression is different from being down.
I am officially an FOC= Friend of Cat 😉
Thanks. Same here.
What an amazing journey! I’m glad you and especially your Son found peace under such circumstances.
<3 <3 Such great words Tamara! I'm in. Just one big party of Yankees and Confederates, getting healthy and playing in their gardens. What could go wrong? 😉
Speaking of Yankees, spk, I planted a Jersey Rutgers for the first time this year, and it’s really outshining the others. The damn Yankees just plant themselves down here and thrive. 🙂
Yankees know how to bloom where they are planted, lol. There has to be some positive to being a Yankee, doggone it.
Yay ! go RU.
Hi Cat!
You wouldn’t be “invisible” to me! We would be friends immediately. I really enjoy you on here. You would like me I’m sure and be comfortable around me as I would be with you ! 🙂
Ooh…deja vu. 🙂
Yeah. It would be nice to have a friend or two. I’m more of a listener than a talker. Sometimes, I will go a whole month not saying a word, unless I talk to my TV. I have to switch to “Disney mode” to start a conversation.
People think I’m scary. My best friend from Disney once described me as a cross between Heath Ledger’s Joker, and Johnny Depp’s Willy Wonka. And you know what? She’s right. 🙂
Cat,
I think the majority here can handle the cross between ” Joker” and “Willy Wonker.” You’re good!
I dance around my house a lot when I feel a little down. I get a little Michael Jackson music going on, ’80’s music or upbeat beach music, and some of today’s good beats. A video of me would be so hilarious! Not that I would EVER have one taken! Hey, it makes me all happy !
I’ve always moved my whole life (father is in the army) and continued doing it as an adult. So I always struggled to maintain longterm friendships. I just found my own company and thoughts more entertaining than those around me. So I can empathise with some of the people around here.
Ditto to the moving, and although I envy the lifelong relationships other mothers my age have, I kind-of like not being bothered. 🙂
I like your way of thinking Micheal ! As I’ve heard, ” The best company you can keep, is your own!
Do you have brother and sisters
I’m having a shit week! Yesterday was a bitch and I thought it was going to be my breaking point. I live with my husband, who had a stroke 7 years ago and now feels entitled to say whatever he wants because he will not hold in his emotions anymore ( ok whatever you big doofus). My mother who is legally blind, diabetic, and in renial failure. Her dog. And my daughter who is only 9.
Sunday I had to rush my mother to the hospital via ambulance for congestive heart failure. They admit her. I’m with her all day but finally go home around 7pm. The next day I find out that they moved her to ICU and NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME. I have an all out panic attack. She’s fine now but what the hell.
This is week of my daughter’s dance recital. It’s very hectic with pictures, costumes, and extra rehearsals. My daughter has had a lot of trouble with being bullied at school this year. It was bad enough for my husband to go with me the school to talk to the principal. She is the kid in class that everyone feels like it’s ok to pick on. I was 42 when I had her and she is our only child. She has grown up pretty much around teenagers and adults. So, obviously she has problems with socializing with kids her age. She tries but “she is a nerd” and “she is a crybaby”. Both things are true. I’ve talked to her so much about her crying every time someone hurts her feelings. But I don’t know. Yesterday, the school counselor called me to tell me she had a melt down and she’s beginning to wonder if she is possibly “a very high functioning autistic”. WTF? How the he’ll am I suppose to take that. According to the counselor, she needs a therapist at least. Great, who’s going to pay for that?
So after picking up my daughter from Dance, I get a phone call that I have to pick my mother up from the hospital. I notice that her dog didn’t greet me at the door when we came. Usually, she’s barking when you get out of the car. She’s scolding you for going somewhere without her. I find her trying to come to me but not being able to make it out of the bedroom. She’s disoriented acting like she’s been scared to death or had a stroke. Her vet doesn’t have after hours. I rush around trying to find an emergency vet, which I finally do. He thinks she may of had a seizure. So we have to take her in today. She’s is not doing good this morning but she still is with us. How the hell am I suppose to tell my daughter if this dog dies?
Thanks for letting me vent. Off to face the day.
Wow that’s a lot for you! I have a young daughter also, and their confidence is everything. All I can say is to keep telling her she is perfect and beautiful and smart, and try to hold those tears in to make her stronger. Sometimes you just have to get through the day, and Y’all will get through today.
@ Angel(?) When it rains it pours. I’ll be on the lookout for someone who can clone you so you gave 3 extra Angels(?).
I hope all is well with your Mom, daughter, and the puppy.
@fivecatsownme-
Speaking of cloning, I watched the movie, Multiplicity, with Annie McDowell and Michael Keaton over and over again! All that “cloning” going on! I laughed and laughed ! Angel(?) would like that movie!
@Angel(?) You obviously are a very strong lady (I hope you already know that) to be still able to be “present” through all that you are dealing with, is major. You are to be commended. Things will get better for you and your family. Bad stuff that happens to us is not always forever, even though it seems like it at the time. You have good prayers being sent your way, so just keep your head up 🙂
Hugs, Angel(?)! I am sorry it’s so hard right now. I hope it gets better.
Angel(?) – I’m thinking about you and sending up prayers for everything to be great today for you and your family and your doggy.
You have a lot of support on TT’s blog .
THINK POSITIVE!
I wish we could make things better for you right this minute. That’s a whole lot going on at your house and in your heart. TT’s minions are thinking of you and sending hope and support your way.
Wow, that IS a lot of stress. Take some time for yourself. Even if it’s just 5-10 minutes. Just sit and concentrate on your breathing. As you inhale deeply, say to yourself “I am”. As you exhale slowly, think ” Calm”.
“I am….calm.” It works.
As for your daughter being bullied, try karate lessons. She will learn to be strong emotionally, and see those around her differently. 90% of karate is mental discipline. It’s really not about fighting. It will help with her self esteem. And probably her dancing, too.
I studied karate in my 20s. It did wonders for me. And even though I hold a green belt, I’ve never had to use it.
Awesome Cat! Good advice!
I was gonna suggest a martial art too. I think it’s great for confidence! 9 is a perfect age to start. Mine just started Tae Kwon Do @ 11 and loves it.
Great idea about karate, Cat! I put both kids in a martial arts dojo when they were five. First my daughter, because she was getting thrown around the play ground by the boys. She studied until she went away to college and earned a second degree black belt! My son studied until he got sick. Neither kid was ever bullied or threatened after they started training. They were still kind of geeky, but they both had this go ahead I need the practice kind of swagger that I think made bullies run away screaming.
Angel! – I’m so sorry, you have been in a multiple car emotional pile-up! The idea of karate for your daughter sounds great because it might let her learn a new way to process what’s happening around her (and from a neutral third party.) You know how it is with moms & daughters. =)
3 lucky people and 1 dog have you looking out for them. Don’t forget to put on your own oxygen mask first, as the saying goes. Sending you a big hug and best wishes, I’ve been there, it’s hard. You’ll come out the other side.
I’m not a tattoo person, but my mother who I can’t live close to because she tries to control my life always tells me to breathe because of my anxious personality. I’ve decided to remove myself from living in the same town as her, but I got a tattoo that says breathe on my left rib on Tuesday because we all need a reminder to chill sometimes. I will extend the words to you for this day, the best thing you can do is just breathe.
That’s everyone for the kind words of support! I am going to look into karate for my daughter. I’m just praying that she makes it through the day without a melt down. She was upset about the dog when I dropped her off at school. I’m still pissed at the counselor. Maybe she should try facing the bullies every day.
The good news is …. the vet thinks the dog is going to pull through. Yay! She thinks that something scared and stressed the dog out and caused her blood sugar to drop very low. The dog had a type of seizure. But Cha Cha should recover. I just got to get her to eat.
Once again thanks everyone! TT, it’s downpouring again. I’m not sure the early girls are going to make it!
When Banjo was not eating, he would ALWAYS eat peanut butter. Just don’t feed to much. You will not like what happens next. 🙂
On Thu, May 21, 2015 at 1:49 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Angel(?) my oldest child struggled in school socially. He was shy and he was a bit of a loner. He had friends that were friends because I was friendly with the parents but no one really close. Once he hit high school, it was amazing! He has a fabulous group of boys that he relates to. They are all really smart and quite nerdy but they have found their place and it makes this mama so happy. Our high school ( which is ranked in the top 10 in the state) lets the kids be whatever they are. Nerdy, athletic, different, funny- and they celebrate it. Hang in there- it does get better!
As far as the counselor suggesting autism… You know your child best. lots of factors play into a child’s behavior around their peers. Sometimes it’s just age and maturity. I suspected my oldest to be on the Aspergers scale but I never had him tested and he couldn’t be happier.
Shellebelle, your post gives me hope. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers about two years ago and it’s very very mild, yet I always suspected it. He too has really struggled socially in middle school and had problems with bullying. He has one friend, who only hangs out with him when we initiate contact. I keep hoping and praying that next year when he starts high school he will find some kids he fits with. Hell, I will take one real friend who shares some of his interests. The kids and parents around here are sports obsessed, if you don’t play/like sports you may as well be dead socially. and yes, this is the same kid with all of the health problems too that I posted about a few days ago. We may be getting somewhere…the specialist we saw says he definitely has jaw problems (he got whacked hard in the jaw in karate a couple of years back) and we also discovered multiple allergies after more in depth tests were done. Dust, mold, pollens, feathers, DOG.
Angel(?) welcome to the “God Won’t Give You More Than You Can Handle But I Just Wish He Didn’t Think I Was So Strong” club. We’ll be sending out your new member info package soon. It honest to God feels like when one thing happens it starts an avalanche. Sometimes it does and it sucks.
The good thing is this too shall pass. Take a big deep breath. Calm down as best you can and take them on one at a time. Hospitals are notorious for miscommunication. Take your complaints to the Hospital Administrator. They pay attention that way. You daughter sounds like she is being bullied. So what if she is a nerd and a crybaby. What kid that is being bullied wouldn’t cry. That Counselor sounds like she is trying to pass the buck. Demand a meeting with the Superintendent and maybe someone will help you. The schools can test her for problems if they consider her to have Autism. Not sure she does but I wouldn’t let the Counselor label her that without proof. Other commenters have suggested martial arts. That sounds like a great idea to build confidence. Also glad that her dog seems like she is going to be fine.
I’m sorry for the long post but I’ve been in similar situations and know how frustrating it can be. Eventually you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Until then you’ve got friends here just like Cat that you can talk and vent to that care.
Oh Hannah, I became a member of that club way back in the ’90s! That’s my mantra. Plus my other mantra . . . If you find yourself looking into the deep dark abyss, turn around and run like hell. I learned that when you can one longer find humor in life, that is the beginning of insanity. Yesterday was a humorless day but today is better. Now if that dog would just eat or drink something. That nutra-whatever it’s called gel crap the vet gave me is gross. I’m off to force some water down her. Thanks for the thoughts.
Bless you. I know I wish I could hurt in my kids’ place, just to spare them. Hope you don’t mind if I say a prayer for you.
Damn. I wish I had the words to fix all of this and or some wise words of wisdom. I want to tell you to take a few minutes to yourself and breath, go sit in the car or burry your head in a pillow and scream as loud as you can! Great cliche, huh? I hate those. I’m in a similar situation and I was told to “make a bunch of origami animals and crush them” WTF!?
That’s funny! First, I would get even more frustrated trying to make origami animals that I would probably have a stroke. Second, if someone gave me a bunch of already made origami animals, I could see the temporary satisfaction it could give me. Everything is getting better. Mom’s home, the dog is much better, and tomorrow is the recital. I’ll make it. I just needed to vent and some words of encouragement. That’s why I came here and I love that Tamara gave us a place to talk to each other.
I am so sorry for all you are facing. Just know that you have people here who care and I will be praying and keeping you in my heart.
I have a terrible problem with food. I am literally eating my pain and inflating like a balloon. Anyhow….
Not sure if I am allowed to post the names of businesses here or not, but I absolutely hate bra shopping and there is a great place in Kennesaw if you wanted the name of it. My girls actually look somewhat perky in their bras, which is a miracle.
Food is a bitch and it’s not a matter of will power.
I like the idea of growing a tomato and walking every day and I love that you came up with it. Wishing you the best TT.
Wow, when I skip a Daily Tea, y’all really have a lot to share for the next one. Sorry you guys are going through so much. Hang tough, Angel (?)
I loved sleeping in today rather than driving to Buckhead to say, “Well, you know, I’ve had good days and bad days…I’m making a little progress but not where I should be….” Here’s $200 I don’t have…
I think I’ll go check my tomato plants now. The Cherokee Purple is being a difficult child. I think there may be a fungus among us….
Oh and to be clear, I’m not stopping my therapy because it is not helping or because it is too expensive (which it is) I just think there comes a time where you need to stop talking about your problems and start doing something about them. Walking more, drinking less and keeping things alive is hard for me. But I am going to put my big girl panties on this summer and enjoy it. God damn it! I am going to have FUN this summer whether I like it or not!
🙂
For me personally, therapy was a way to marinate in your own shit. I didn’t like that. So I agree if you already know what it is you need to change, then you will when you’re good and ready. Therapy is for those that still need to be led, or at least wanna talk about things. Sounds like u know what to do , you just dont wanna LOL
I went to my therapist for 10 years. He was wonderful! Since I had a lifelong Disney connection, we started talking about “magic”. It turns out, he was into Jewish Kabbalah. We both knew it was against the rules of therapy, but we discussed it a LOT. I loved it, and it really helped turn me around.
I am vowing to have more fun, and get out more, too. My birthday is coming up in a few weeks (big 60!) And I am itching to go and see “Jurassic World”. There’s something a out a bunch of theme park guests being eaten by dinosaurs that really appeals to me. 🙂
I really like your attitude TT. Is your condition seasonal at all? I know my boyfriend seems to come back to life when the weather is warmer.
Yeah, sunshine really helps. Days of rain send me running into “the hole”.
On Thu, May 21, 2015 at 3:02 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
I tried therapy, and found out what makes me anxious….talking to some stranger about my life face to face. I can tell people I will never meet except on the internet stuff, but good lord no, no talking about myself to a therapist. Plus I hate that doctors shove antidepressants on women for everything. I had one doctor prescribe an antidepressant because I was constipated. Yes, my bowel must be depressed.
What you are doing here, Tamara, is probably more important than any therapy, and that is let women talk about themselves and get to know other women who are going through the same crazy shit in life. And as you have noticed, not much is being done to find out why menopause turns normally vibrant, active women into bravo-watching couch potatoes. I like coming in here and see the positive change you are making getting us off our asses.
“Nothing being done about menopause turning normally vibrant active women into bravo watching couch potatoes”. Love that! Right now I’m all about taking matters into my own hands. The last thing I need is to talk ad nauseam about my parents, or pay some jack ass to ask me “well, how do you feel about that?”.
For me, the main thing I needed to talk to a therapist about was menopause. NO ONE IRL would discuss it with me and NO ONE I knew was having anything close to the issues I am having. I was blessed to have a great group of Internet friends who got me to a FEMALE GYN for hormone testing, A FEMALE shrink and a FEMALE therapist. All of which were male previously. They all agreed that antidepressants were not working because my issues are hormonal. Once I was given some information on what to expect, everything was less frightening and more annoying.
I cannot comprehend how NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING TO KEEP HALF THE WORLD’S POPULATION from going batshit for A DECADE or more of their lives.
I actually have found the answer. Eat organically, mostly fruits and veggies that are organic. Eliminate sugar, alcohol and caffeine. Work out every day. Get 8-10 hours of sleep every night on a regular schedule Take Maca root, Sam-e and Vitamins and Fish Oil. Vitamin D. Preferably through sunshine but supplement as necessary.
That is the answer. I have trouble maintaining that. Because it is HARD AS FUCK TO DO. So I strive to be as close to it as possible, except when I decide to self-sabatoge which is frequently. But you just have to keep getting back on the horse.
My biggest issue is anxiety. Weird anxiety. Panic attacks for no fucking reason. Racing heart rate. Alcohol fixes that. So then Alcohol BECOMES the problem. Vicious cycle. I’m working on it. But I don’t have the …drive to give it my full effort. Why? I don’t know. I’m not sure the Why matters.
So I am trying for baby steps. One tomato plant and one 15 minute walk a day. It seems reasonable to me. Now I have seven tomato plants and a rotating crop of pepper plants to kill. Sometimes I walk for 20 minutes. Sometimes I do some dishes and take a shower after an nice walk. Some days I say fuck it and look for reasons to couch surf all day.
I’m doing a lousy job of setting a regular bedtime. It’s 3:21 am at the moment.
But I’m trying. And y’all are helping. Thanks.
On Fri, May 22, 2015 at 2:26 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Tamara I truly enjoy your blog!! Please know that you tomato planting requirement actually inspired me to plan some vegetable seeds! The city gave us a free trees (and 2 bushes) and they gave us seeds so I finally planted them! I hope they grow because I figured why they were free…expired December 2014
âIf you have a patch of dirt and manure, then you DEFINATELY need to go get a tomato seedling from Home Depot, Janshell.
My dead sister never liked tomatoes, but she would make tomato sauce for spaghetti, so she would take tomatoes and then never use them. He son would take the tomatoes out to the trash and miss the can. Because the ground around the trash can was so fertile from the son missing the can with everything, tomatoes just started growing there!
I’m glad we are all growing together.
On Thu, May 21, 2015 at 12:30 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Oh my that sounds great! Actually I need to build another garden patch! This one I threw everything in there…squash, pumpkin, zucchini, black eyed peas, green beans, fennel, radishes! It’s a pot luck!! When I build the other one perhaps I’ll name it the Tamara dream garden!
My daughter and I had a girl’s day out, yesterday. We went to see Mad Max: Fury Road. Charlize Theron and grandmas on motorcycles saving what’s left of the world! Was awesomely good and I recommend it for everyone who is feeling powerless and down. My shoulder is doing a whole lot better. I took yesterday off, to give it another rest day and I have to day as a scheduled off day. Going to the gym, but they know I have to not move that arm, so they will work around it. I miss swimming, but hopefull will be able to go back next week. I might just kick while holding the board. Good news–after a three year battle, I was able to get new feduciaries to handle my son’s trust. We met with them, yesterday, and they understand our needs. The ones we had before were crazy, so yay!
I saw that over the weekend, reluctantly lol. It was actually pretty good, especially when that old bastard got his face ripped off.
I don’t go to Burger King much. It is the closest Fast Food place to my house. Since I am tryna be off co-colas I don’t buy them at the store anymore so I do sometimes drive through for a co-cola when I am being naughty. When I do get a burger and fries I get half onion ring half fries. But I could count on two hands the number of times I have done this.
So today I went through the drive through and the person taking my order was sort of an idiot so when I got to the window to pay, I asked the girl if she got the half rings half fries part. She seemed confused and went to get someone. A girl I do not recall seeing before came and looked at me and said “”oh it’s her. We’ll do it.” and then I proceeded to window number two where an third woman gave me my order. I look in the bag and it’s just lots of fries. I figure it’s not worth the trouble and I am about to pull off when the girl who said she would do it comes to the window to make sure I got half and half. When I said no, she asked for my bag and took it and filled it up with onion rings.
Apparently, I am on the VIP program at Burger King. Which kind of makes my day.
It’s the little things. Like extra onion rings for free.
On Thu, May 21, 2015 at 1:03 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
She may have meant “oh it’s HER…. just do it”. )
She seemed to LOVE me, you cranky old fart. #evileye
On Thu, May 21, 2015 at 4:33 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
I wonder if they have a VIP program at Krispy Kreme 🙂
Hi
I’ve never posted here. I have come to this site several times a day for the last 18 months. I just want to thank everyone here, especially you Tamara. I nearly died 2 years ago. I was in a coma for a while and had a problem with PTSD and leaving my home, mainly due to my colostomy and all the accidents that come along with it. Reading all the stories and others struggles helped me to know i’m not the only one who found simple things difficult.
I’ve now made it through my darkest time and that is partly due to this site. It gave me distractions from the tedium of being inside my head. I now go to the gym daily, am able to socialise more and i’m getting back to work. There are still some very dark times but they can be managed.
I most hated those times when I knew what I needed to do to get better, but was unable to. Tamara, you are right. Small steps, finding enjoyment in things and being aware that you are the only one who can make you happy. Sounds simple, but I know how hard it can be to do them.
Apart from thanking you guys for sharing so much of yourselves, I want to say be kind to yourselves. Instead of beating yourself up for what you haven’t done, be kind to yourself and find some small enjoyment in whatever you can. Small steps turn into giant leaps and everyone can get there, albeit in their own time.
I live in London. For a city that has such a high population, life can be incredibly lonely. When i was first reading this site, I felt glimpses of not feeling alone.
Thanks all for the kindness you show each other and for being a constant I could return to time and time again.
I want to share my favourite affirmation to use in yoga/meditation. I hope someone finds a use for it; it really has helped me with my anxiety. My body is healthy, my mind is brilliant, my soul is tranquil.
Sorry if this is all over the place. I had an anxious day, but I really wanted to send a big THANK YOU to all of you.
Thanks so much for posting Kelly! And for all the sage advice! We’re all in this together. 🙂
I love that mantra! I truly miss meditating! I really must make the time!
Welcome Kelly to our big, dysfunctional, lovable TamaraTattles family. She makes it possible for us broken toys to have a common place to come together to enjoy ourselves. Tamara is a Godsend for all of us except the window lickers lol.
I’m glad you posted, Kelly. I love that people share their stories here, and it’s why I keep coming back. Tamara is brilliant with her recaps and stories about her own life, and she attracts a lot of smart, interesting people.
Thanks for being here, Kelly! <3 <3 <3
I just got back from Wal*Mart and had a FABULOUS time. I generally HATE Wal* Mart but I bought two pairs of clean old man pajamas. Three men’s tagless shirts A sack six pair of disposable underwear, two pairs of black workout pants, some clean silverware (see a trend… things I can’t be bothered to wash?) some light bulbs, a shower drain cover, a can of dog food, some cheese, some beer, a thingy of sweet tea, a REAL sun gold cherry tomato plant, an early red beefsteak tomato, two types of peppers, one with two plants in itand probably some other stuff I am forget. I am estastic to have clean clothes ( I have to take mine to a fluff and fold and can’t seem to get a round tuit. ) And clean PJs. I took a shower and when my hair is drying I will put on my clean jammies.
This has all made me endless happy, and though I spent “too much” it was way more uplifting than a therapy session and not quite as much. 🙂
My mantra is “Today day was a good day, tomorrow will be an even better one.”
On Thu, May 21, 2015 at 8:20 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
And I bet you were under $180 –
Nice to meet you Kelly and glad you are on the mend. You shared some really great sentiments 🙂
Thank You so much for sharing your story. Also, my Mom told me about your Mantra that you posted and that I needed to come find it. Thank You for that also.
Unless you live it and feel it, depression cannot be understood by others. I have what I call “no days.” Those are the days when I sleep, watch tv, and talk with my cats and sit around thinking about what I should be doing. I don’t step outside and I don’t talk with humans. My longest, consecutive no days have lasted a week. Some days are better than others.
I totally get it Dainty. I put myself on “TimeOuts.” Well, at least that’s what I call them. They come and go. Anxiety and Depression with 10+ years of Menopause sprinkled in , is the most ridiculous thing ever!!
Tomato Update:
I think I’ve been over watering. The seed packet says an inch of water a week. I was watering every day. I’ve cut back now, and am letting Nature take the lead.
I also took my plants back inside. After the recent round of storms, the temperature dropped below 44° at night. Again, the seed packet says temps below 44° will hurt the plants, and they will not produce fruit.
They still get the afternoon sun.
I wouldn’t worry too much about what the seed pack says.
On Thu, May 21, 2015 at 1:21 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Hey Cat, have you tried “bagging” your tomato starts? You can leave them outside in the 40’s but just at dusk, take a large garbage bag, (whatever size fits your particular pot the plant is in), fluff it open and drape it over the plant. Maybe put a stake that’s taller than the plant in the dirt, that will keep the bag from collapsing onto your plant. Then tuck the bottom edges of the bag under the pot or lay a couple rocks on the edges. This traps the heat emanating from the soil and keeps the plant cozy over night. Pull it off in the morning and keep doing until the plant is stronger.
And congrats on the walk around the block adventure, holy heck girl! Maybe only one side of the block next time, eh? 😉
BE VERY CAREFUL WITH THIS PLAN UNLESS YOU ARE A MORNING PERSON WHO GETS UP AT DAWN. You will cook your plants.
Don’t ask me how I know this.
On Fri, May 22, 2015 at 12:37 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
This is true, so FREAKING true! I thought about mentioning it to Cat but forgot to add it. But it’s a saver when you don’t want to have to lug your plants indoors simply because mother nature is giving you the cold shoulder …
Thanks TT for sharing,as well as all of the other commenters,I am on an anti depressant and I am TRYING soooo hard to get up and get out,some days are better than others, but I am hanging in there,well as much as i can anyway,sometimes I feel so alone in this struggle,but reading this has made me feel better,that I am not the only one.Thanks guys….hopefully before the warm weather is over,i can get up and start my tomatoes and take better care of my rosebush,maybe this time it would be able to bloom more than one rose.
Will a cabbage, pumpkin and cilantro count in the gardening department?
I exercised for the first time in 8 years yesterday – a spin class. If it wasn’t for a friend who invited me I would never have gone. I told her to have the first responders on standby. I did not do a damn thing the instructor said because after thirty seconds of trying to stand and pedal I was pretty sure my jello legs were going to give out so I just pedaled at my own pace. It felt good enough that I would even go back by myself. I may be the fat girl in the corner but that is okay. It was an accomplishment and that motivated me to do it again. I hope your walking and success with the tomato plants make you feel the same way.
I have been a long time lurker – this is only my second comment ever after coming her for years when I discovered your work on the Jody Arias trial – the best, most knowledgeable on the net. I absolutely love your blog and enjoy the laughs, serious commentary on various subjects, and personal stories you share. I love your other regular commenters just as much – so many wonderful souls sharing here. I know you have a kind heart but I love it when you tell somebody to f off!! It cracks me up!! Everyday I laugh about something here and it is appreciated! Thank you for blogging – It makes me happy 😉
@Sasha V you sound like me trying to make up my mind to go downstairs to get on the very nice treadmill that I just HAD to have. I pass by that room, look at it and say (to myself) self, you NEED to get ON that thing. And then I reply (to self) ok ok I am……after I wake up from my nap I come here to see what the latest thing everyone is discussing 🙂 But I will get down there I promise (to self ) Lol!
Thanks Sasha. Glad you enjoy this place.
On Thu, May 21, 2015 at 1:48 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
I have to attend an engagement party in Buckhead this weekend with all of these rich pretentious people, which requires me to dress up. ( I’m a shorts and flip flop kinda girl) however, I bought the most fabulous pair of Micheal Kors F-me heels to wear. I contemplated wearing them to my middle child’s middle school award ceremony this morning, but they are a bit dominatrix-ish and I was afraid I’d be sent to the office for violating dress code.
Lmao Shellbelle. I used to love F-Me pumps. Wish I could still wear them. With my CRPS the closest I get is ballet shoes or flip flops. If you had worn a long dress you could have gotten away with it. It’s kind of like wearing really sexy undies or going commando. No one sees it, but you know. Hehehe.
This made me laugh! I live in a rural area where awards day will take place in a gym. Heels would make climbing bleachers difficult, so I’ll happily don my nikes and yoga pants. I will probably wear some eff me wedges on Saturday’s date dinner with the hubby.
I love it!! This made me smile!!
I decided I was sick of the clique of skinny blondes at my local gym. They were never going to be my friends and I quit going. I joined Class Pass last week, so I’ve been doing a new class every day. WHAT FUN!
I can do so much more I never would have tried: boxing, spin with blacklights, barre, pilates machines. I have never felt better. It’s an adventure, and I’ll never see these people again, so I don’t feel weird trying something hard.
A few years back I was too lazy to throw out my Halloween pumpkin, I never carved it. I eventually pushed it off the front stairs and figured it was some kind of organic fertilizer. The next year I had a pumpkin patch, with at least 20 pumpkins. This was when I lived in Atlanta, the pumpkin patchh took over my front yard, Anyway, sometimes good things happen when you don’t expect it. I went to a marriage therapist once, lasted 2 visits. The $150 at the time killed me and I thought it was all BS. We are still married and with age have mellowed. Love your blog!!!
You can not possibly know how much I needed to read this today. Well I really needed to read it earlier today so I could have walked for 15 minutes. But tomorrow I AM GOING TO WALK to ACE hardware store and buy a tomato plant. I know Ace Hardware store stound like a foolish place to buy a tomato plant but they have a very nice garden department. And they are about four blocks from my house, or 15 minutes away. If I wasn’t too poor to be crazy ( I love that line BTW), I would offer to pay you $180.00. But then I couldn’t afford a tomato plant, so I would bother to dig out a bra and take the walk, well I guess you can see where this is going. Thanks again for posting. I do believe we can heal together.
So I went to the gym, this morning and worked my lower body, to keep my shoulder rested. Now my butt hurts. I told the boyfriend I now have tendonitis and assonitis. He said that’s not to be confused with assinitis.
Oh dear gawd, so funny!
Glad you are being so careful w/ that shoulder, they can be buggers to heal.
Thanks, spk. It’s feeling really good this morning. Going back to work.
It’s hard making friends in the real world. I am close to my college friends but we are scattered, I have one 4 hours away and one two hrs away. We meet halfway once a month for a hike and tea. I like my coworkers but not enough to get very close. I recently joined a knitting group and I signed up for group tennis lessons Bc I figure maybe I’ll meet more people if they share the same hobbies.
what was so easy when we were twenty is hard, after you lose touch with college friends making new ones means joining clubs.
For me, the divide was when friends had kids, and here I was, outside the mommy crowd. People kind of pat you on the back and act like you are only somebody when you pop out a kid. So a fifty something woman must need to be fed anti-depressants because she isn’t a grandma.
My cute little heirloom tomato plant is trying so hard, I admire her spunk. We’ve had so much rain she’s more like tomato soup. Been walking every evening between tornadoes, so thanks TT for the inspiration. And I just adore your site and all the fun, wonderful, crazy posters!!
If you have a hybrid tomato, it will make your heirlooms seem inferior. Heirlooms are a bit slower to grow and more likely to have issues with infestations, fungus, etc. Hybrids are cross bred to make the more resistant to issues. But they are “genetically modified” so I usually coddle my heirlooms and have a hybrid or two for back up. 🙂
I have an heirloom Rutgers that is doing well, A hybrid Goliath bush that came with tiny fruits that are growing like gangbusters and should ripen in a few weeks, and early girl (hybrid) who is really struggling and stunted despite having the prime slot, A sun gold (hybrid yellow cherry) which is TINY but has teeny little fruits, and a Cherokee purple which is growing rapidly, but just now trying to flower all of those are in place. My last two slots go to the Heirloom red beefsteak, a (hybrid? sun gold cherry (available at Wal* Mart for those still looking) that will be planted tomorrow. And I have three pepper plants to try to find a spot for as well. I think I will plant one in the empty pot the Goliath bush came in.
I also have a shady garden spot because I need to trim a large branch. with great soil I am going to put some seeds in I have cucumber and radish. I do not have great expectations due to the shade.
The hundreds of bulbs I planted on a section between my fenceline and the driveway don’t seem to be doing anything. I think the BAZILLION ditch lilies are chocking everything out. Except of course for the weeds. I wanted to buy marigold to keep the varmints away but they were half dead. I also need a couple more cages. Don’t buy the foldable kind they are a bitch to keep straight in the off season and hard to hook together.
On Fri, May 22, 2015 at 12:58 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
“Too poor to be crazy !” The latest TT t-shirt.
(Or paint it on your Birkin…)