By Lady Cocotte
Ginger Minj leads the girls back into the workroom, cursing the whole way. She just lip-synced for her life and sent Trixie Mattel home. The girls read Trixie’s message on the mirror: “WTF Just Happened?!? #GirlBye, Thx Pearl. Stay Plastic <3 Spoiler Alert Trixie Mattel Doesn’t Win LOL’” and Ginger is having survivor’s guilt. They quickly move on to congratulate last week’s winners: Violet Chachki and Katya. Ginger asks Violet if she’s scared being the only one to not yet lip-sync. Violet isn’t easy intimidated but the question brings out her inner mean girl. She turns it back on Ginger, bringing up Ginger’s weaknesses. Ginger admits to having weaknesses but she’s good at hiding how they affect her. “And don’t rest on your laurels, bitch,” she warns Violet. “Because we all know that all it takes is one thread hanging and your ass is packing.”
The next day the girls look pretty worn out but they’re excited that they’re the top 5. They start talking about how they originally thought Katya was actually Russian. She explains that when she does shows she always speaks in her Russian accent and her audiences really believe she’s Russian. Ginger Minj asks the girls if any of them speak other languages. “No, girl,” Pearl answers. “I can barely speak f***ing English.” RuPaul’s “she done already done had herses” message plays and it’s about brands and Tokyo so the girls are going to get a little International tonight…
RuPaul tells the girls that they’ve been together so long, they probably know what each other are going to say. Which will be very helpful in the mini-challenge. This week the girls are going to pick a puppet that represents one of their competitors and drag it up. Why? “Because everybody loves puppets!” Katya picks Ginger Minj. Ginger gets Violet. At this point the girls are already hysterical seeing each other’s boys puppets. Pearl chooses Kennedy Davenport. Kennedy picks Pearl. And Violet Chachki gets Katya. “I don’t have that much hair,” Katya laughs. The girls start dragging the boy puppets up.“Violet can I just borrow one of your regular outfits?” Ginger Minj asks. “I think it will fit this doll.” Instead, she gets the Violet puppet naked and says, “Done.”
Pearl is first to perform, with puppet Kennedy Davenport. The puppet’s face is covered in gems and she is wearing the “burnt chicken” outfit from the “Death Becomes Her” runway in episode 6. The puppet gives the same strange description of her outfit that Kennedy did. Pearl is pretty damn funny. Next is Kennedy and her Pearl puppet. Kennedy asks her why she doesn’t wear “titty pads” and then falls back on the “sleepy Pearl” trope. “These bitches need some new material,” Pearl fumes. “I woke up a long time ago, goddammitttttt.” Violet Chachki has her puppet Katya in a blond wig, smoking a cigarette. “That looks just like me,” Katya cackles. Her routine is over before it began but the puppet was spot on. Katya made a Ginger Minj puppet with huge red hair. She makes a joke about Ginger’s makeup that isn’t as good as I would expect from Katya. Ginger Minj’s Violet puppet is in pink feathers and a corset. She jokes about Violet’s last name and then moves on to the corset. Puppet Violet is trying to train her waist down to 2” but she can’t because Ginger’s fat wrist is in the way. Violet thinks it’s hysterical.
Ginger Minj is the winner. “I take credit!” puppet Violet Chachki interjects.
The maxie-challenge is an homage to the International brand Hello Kitty. The girls need to design a look using Hello Kitty merch that also represents their own drag characters. As the mini-challenge winner, Ginger Minj gets a head start picking her Hello Kitty items. Since she’s not a costume designer and knows the sewing competitions are her weakness, she grabs anything she can get. Then the rest of the girls attack the products and start feverishly working away. Ginger, Katya and Kennedy Davenport are already having a hard time. “These bitter old ladies got a lot of work cut out for them,” Ginger explains. Violet Chachki, on the other hand, is excited about the challenge. She feels confident creating couture looks and is particularly excited about this one. Katya asks what she is planning and Violet thinks she’ll go sixties. Katya is still completely stumped about what to do. She jokes around with umbrellas but you can see the stress on her face. “She has so much talent,” Violet bemoans. “I just wish she’d focus.”
RuPaul comes to see the girls but he’s not alone. Santino Rice is back! I didn’t think I would miss Santino so much but after 10 episodes with his boring replacements I need some high fashion snark. They first talk to Kennedy Davenport. Her table is covered in bows and Santino picks up a pile of forlorn, bow-less Hello Kittys. They look naked. Kennedy explains that she is a catsuit Queen. Ru asks if she knows how to make a catsuit and she doesn’t. “That’s like somebody who loves enchiladas but don’t know how to make them,” RuPaul responds. Not exactly helpful there, Ru. Kennedy starts talking about how she’s not creative but Santino cuts her off. “You are creative. That’s why you’re here.” Santino didn’t see the burnt chicken outfit.
Violet Chachki starts flirting with Santino but he doesn’t seem impressed. Just you wait, Santino. Boy Violet may not be your type but you’ll change your mind when she gets on the runway. Oh, never mind. Santino just flirted back. You go, girls. RuPaul particularly wanted them to meet because they both come from the same fashion background. RuPaul asks if Violet has any questions for Santino. “Do you want to go to Red Lobster?” Oh, my. I’m blushing. And RuPaul is desperately trying to ignore the heat and stay professional. Violet goes on to explain that she wants to do something “bubble-gum pop, mod meets Harijuku.” RuPaul is wowed and Santino loves it. He encourages her use of boning to make a headpiece. Across the room, Kennedy Davenport is cracking up (“Violet looks like the human gaydar, bitch”) but Santino sees the fashion potential.
RuPaul and Santino pull themselves away from Violet to find Katya sitting in a pile of Hello Kitty blankets. RuPaul asks her how she is going to keep her momentum from winning last week and she can’t even answer. No! Katya, you’re so strong. Don’t doubt yourself. “If you start doing something it will lead you to where you need to be,” RuPaul suggests. “But if it stays in your head, you’re not going to get out of the gate.” Santino suggests she start by incorporating Hello Kitty into who Katya is. And leaves her with a “make it work.” Katya is so stressed out she doesn’t even smile at his Tim Gunn impersonation. Pull it together, girl.
RuPaul asks Pearl about “Fla-say-dah” and she rolls with it. “It’s spreading like wildfire,” she jokes. Pearl admits she thought it was a real word and Violet Chachki laughs loudly. Shady lady. Pearl shows RuPaul and Santino a sketch of a slinky dress. Santino seems unsure how that will work with the fleece blanket Pearl plans to use. Ginger Minj is also wondering if Pearl can pull off a Pearl look with the materials at hand. “Hello Kitty, goodbye Pearl,” she snipes. She’s probably just nervous because the first thing RuPaul asks Ginger is, “you don’t sew?” Yes, editing, we get it. Ginger isn’t perfect. She’s not a shoo-in to win. Carry on. Ginger has barely begun her dress and this worries RuPaul. Santino asks about a foundation garment (probably to suggest building something onto it) but they get sidetracked talking about waist cinching. Ginger’s Drag Mother told her big girls shouldn’t cinch because the fat blobs over the corset top. Santino encourages her to cinch and it makes her feel even more defeated.
On his way out of the workroom, RuPaul drops a huge bomb. “I almost forgot. There’s one more thing…” The pit crew wheels in a bunch of bare Hello Kitty heads. In addition to their runway looks, the girls have to turn themselves into a character that can be Hello Kitty’s new best friend. You can see the terror in the girls’ eyes. I’m afraid Katya’s head is going to literally explode. The girls try the heads on and realize they can barely see. But they sure look cute running into each other in those big, blank heads. “It’s really impossible to try to serve face in this head,” Violet Chachki deadpans. Pearl sews a blond wig onto her head and starts swinging it around. It reminds me of Alaska Thunderfvck’s “This Is My Hair” look. Meanwhile, Katya is swearing.
The guest judges are Santino Rice and Rebecca Romijn. My best friend Carson Kressley is on the panel this week (Ross Matthews, I miss you). RuPaul looks cute in Asian-inspired hair. The judges make Japanese jokes that will surely cause a controversy. A life-size Hello Kitty is also on hand to help critique.
They start with Hello Kitty BFF Realness. Violet Chachki comes out in a violet dress and poof of violet hair. She has lots of lashes but is otherwise fairly understated. Ginger Minj has created a cow character in pink polka dots. “I dream of one day becoming a designer handbag or maybe a filet mignon.” Pearl looks like Madonna Kitty with lots of blonde hair and a gap in her front teeth. Her nickname is Banjy Beatdown. She’s wearing gold hoop earrings and slippers. Hello Kitty looks skirred. Katya marches out in a red headscarf, waving the hammer and sickle. “I feel like my socialist side will balance out Hello Kitty’s decadent capitalism.” Kennedy Davenport comes out tapping her weave. She’s doing an urban character but it’s not as good as Pearl’s banjy-girl. She does have some good junk in her trunk, tho.
Next up is Hello Kitty Eleganza. Violet Chachki is first in a pink corset with marabou and her “gaydar” headpiece. She looks stunning and very couture (in the real sense of that word, Jackie Gillies). Ginger Minj has a boa of Hello Kittys and her hair is shaped like ears. Cute but not couture (in any sense of the word). Pearl achieved her slinky, blanket dress with a huge Hello Kitty on her head. I could actually see that in a fashion magazine. Katya is wearing a black catsuit with pink piping and Hello Kitty trim. So much better than I was expecting! I actually think it’s cute. Without the Hello Kitty crap around her neck, it would be a very respectable catsuit (you know, for a Drag Queen). Kennedy Davenport has a black leotard covered in Hello Kitty bows and a mask on. It’s no burnt chicken but it’s not good either.
Michelle Visage likes Violet Chachki’s BFF. Rebecca Romijn loves her runway look and Santino compares it to Barbarella. Michelle also loved Ginger Minj’s BFF, especially her punny voiceover. Carson Kressley thinks Ginger’s runway look is too literal. Can’t stand the man but I have to agree. Rebecca, on the other hand, thinks it’s fun. “It’s like a basket full of kitties.” Pearl’s Madonna BFF rocked Michelle’s world. Santino compares Pearl’s runway look to “when Giorgio di Sant’ Angelo went into the desert with Veruschka, all he did was wrap all these blankets all around her and just, like, you know, gave really beautiful face.” “That’s exactly what I was actually going for,” Pearl responds. Carson loved Katya’s BFF voiceover and Rebecca loved that she “added International flavor to the meow-mix.” Michelle is confused by Katya’s runway look because she thinks her 60’s hair doesn’t go with the modern catsuit. Rebecca disagrees. “I think you’re giving us hot, futuristic space Mom who loves Hello Kitty.” Michelle thinks Kennedy Davenport’s runway look is basic and Santino thinks she wasted an opportunity to create something great with all those bows. Kennedy stands behind her look, a little rudely. Carson adds that she needs to be more daring in her looks and that her BFF didn’t go far enough either.
Top Queens: Violet Chachki and Pearl. Violet is the winner.
Bottom Queens: Ginger Minj, Katya and Kennedy Davenport.
LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE
The two Queens up for elimination are Katya and Kennedy Davenport. They perform Roar by Katy Perry
Uh oh. Kennedy Davenport is a dancer. I have a feeling she is an amazing performer. Katya is really going to have to pull it together if she wants to stay. Kennedy starts big while Katya is going for inner power. Kennedy is doing kicks and she’s all over the stage. Katya is really feeling the song but she’s not moving much. What an amazing duel! Both of these women know how to give a good show. Kennedy does a flip into the splits. She’s pounding her head on the ground. Move, Katya! Don’t give up! The judges are overjoyed with this face-off. Kennedy jumps off the stage into splits. Katya cartwheels into splits. These girls are working! Kennedy is performing right into the judges faces. She is demanding their attention. Even Violet is screaming her approval! Kennedy Davenport, shantay, you stay. Katya, sashay away. I really think you had the talent to win this whole competition, Katya. Hopefully you’ll start believing in yourself as much as your fans do.
P.S. Logo wants us to vote for Miss Congeniality if that’s your kind of thing
Next week: The final challenge: starring in a RuPaul music video. And don’t forget to watch Untucked, available every Tuesday. You can watch this week’s episode right here on TamaraTattles.com !