In case you haven’t met before, this is Banjo. Don’t let the cute face fool you. He’s not a friendly dog. The thing is, he looks friendly and kids always want to pet him. Um, not a good idea.
Anyway, Banjo will be disappointed to know he is not the reason his photo is being used today. I have a confession. It’s about another dog. But first, the back story.
If you follow me on Twitter, then you are familiar with the Flannery O’Connor type assortment of regular folks in my neighborhood. The rake people (who have apparently moved), the hipsters, the dead body in the house next door, the assholes who refuse to die on the other side including an elderly mother, a decrepit gay son, and a mangey dog , all of whom appear to perpetually hover near death without actually dying, their asshole lawn man with the gas leaf blower and giant tractor lawnmower… and the Alzheimer’s lady.
This story is about Alzheimer’s lady, (AL). AL is actually married to Asshole Gas Leaf Blower Guy (AGLBG) a fact I only discovered a few months ago. AL and I are very pleasant with each other . She compliments my pitiful flower bed when walking her dogs. She is apparently unaware that I may or may not have fashioned a voodoo doll of her husband and also called him an asshole while fleeing his lawn blower in my car.
AL used to walk a little gray terrier type dog past my house at least once a day. IIRC, she would walk him on a leash. However, many times the dog, Andy, would walk by himself. He used to stay on the side-walk, apparently walking his usual route by memory. Once, while Banjo and I were out walking, we ran across Andy on one of his solo walks and he followed us. I didn’t know where Alzheimer’s lady lives, but I had a general idea of the street. Another frequent but unremarkable character that walks by the house is a lady called Betty. I don’t know anything about her except she looks EXACTLY like my SIL, Betty and she walks around my block every day around 5 p.m. Sometimes with another lady or a man or both of them. Betty always has a can of beer and a trash bag to pick up litter. I like Betty. Betty seemed to know Andy and AL so I asked her to keep Andy from following us home and try to get him back to AL. She did.
One day, AL started walking another dog, a dachshund type but brown all over. Let’s call it Dot so I don’t have to keep typing dachshund. So AL now has Dot on a leash and they walk along while AL is often screaming at the top of her lungs over her shoulder at Andy who is lagging behind and getting in the street. I always wondered why one dog is on a leash and the other is not.
Which brings us to the other day. After nearly very loudly and publicly cussing out and considering strangling my yard guy, who is annoying as all hell and has been wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day since April, I was in the back having a rage-filled outburst as I sawed the vines off of my pine trees while Banjo played. He was barking at the dead body house so I stopped to see what he had found. Andy was in that yard yelping.
Well great. Now I have to go see what is wrong with a mangy dog and try to get him home where my mortal enemy AGLBG lives. I’ve already considered murdering one yard guy today and have no desire to encounter another but, this is not Andy’s fault. So I gather up my saw, deciding not to carry it with me, wash the poison ivy off my hands, look for Banjo’s leash and notice that Andy is on the sidewalk in front of the dead body house sunning himself. It’s about a quarter til five. Betty should be around any time now. I decide to leave Andy alone.
If Betty came that day, Andy was long gone.
Later, I saw AGLBG out in his truck slowly cruising the neighborhood looking for Andy. He looked for quite awhile.
The next day, and for a few days there after, AL walked Dot on the leash with no Andy.
Clearly, Andy is dead and it is all my fault.
Which brings me to last night when HB1 who lives right across the street was climbing a tree with official type tree climbing gear. He went up about 30 feet and the trees are thick with new spring leaves. I couldn’t really see what he was doing. But he was alone. At first I thought he was just having some fun. I went about my business. Then I decided he was going to hang himself. I mean I had a dead body next door once already, I’m responsible for a dead dog now, and if he was just trying out some new equipment or something, HB2 who lives one house over, would normally be hanging out with him. Why else would a dude be climbing up a rope on a giant tree when it was getting dark?
Should I call 911? Should I mind my own business? I feel bad enough about the dead dog. I would feel really bad if I basically watch HB1 kill himself. I keep nervously peeking out the window like Gladys Kravitz hoping not to see him dangling by a broken neck. I even kind of tweeted about it. I did not save the dog. Am I going to let HB1 die just because I will be embarrassed if this is all nothing?
I peek out one last time. And there is HB1 walking across the porch to his back door. What a relief!
This morning as I was going through comments, I saw AL walking Dot. Alone. I kept hoping that Andy would be behind them each day, but he never was.
Until today. There was Andy 15 feet behind AL wandering behind in the middle of the street. Looking a complete unkempt mess. But alive.
Well shit I feel like I just rode an emotional rollercoaster of dog concern. Sadly I was not concerned about any of the people, just the dogs. Banjo is so adorable- love his tiny flop ears. He does look friendly and if I knew you in real life I’d be super annoying trying to get him to like me with food bribes.
Ha ha! Ditto!! I just skimmed over the people paragraphs! Long live Andy!!
BTW, I think this is the post TT created for sharing our personal hurdles and such. My mom died March 9 this year from Alzheimer’s- only one day before her 66th B’day. This story makes me think of her and her love for my little toy poodle Bentley, who she would affectionately call her “grandson.” Walking him was the only thing that would get her out of bed some days, until she couldn’t walk anymore. I remember going to Miami for three weeks two years ago and my pristine little poodle was all matted and filthy from jaunting with her on the country roads. She just simply forgot to brush him. This will be my first Mother’s day without her. Everyone who still has a mom, make sure you hug her extra tight this and every Mother’s Day.
I’m sorry to hear about your mom 🙁
Aw, sorry for you loss, Classy. Mother’s Day is pretty hard once your mother passes. Especially if you don’t have kids.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 3:21 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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A heartfelt thanks to you guys.
Hey Classy- I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom died a few days before Mother’s day, and the first one without her was rough. My thoughts are with you. BTW – She referred to my canine companions as her grandpups. 🙂
Sorry for your loss. Sending you an extra tight hug.
Here’s a hug, Classy. Sounds like your mother was a great mom and you were so lucky to have her. Thank you for sharing this story.
I’m sorry about your loss. It’s so hard losing your mother, and Mother’s Day is certainly going to be a challenge. This is my second one, and I don’t think it’s going to be any easier. Maybe plant something in her honor? I planted some of my mother’s favorite plants, and I have enjoyed watching them grow.
Me, too. I cannot stand to hear stories about hurt dogs, but hurt people, although I am sorry they are hurt, don’t affect me the same as poor innocent animals in pain. I cry for the animals and sometimes wake up at night not being able to shake the image. I love little Andy, he’s an independent guy Glad he’s all right (so far).
Agree @diamondwater. Needless to say Where the Red Fern Grows was not my favorite book/movie.
OMG too funny you live in a crazy neighborhood mines usually quiet of course it’s cold most of the time here so we don’t get out much. I don’t know the story about the dead body. Would love to hear more !
I just love you TT..you’re my kinda people LOL! I also watch my neighbors because I’m nosy as hell!!! My neighbors have issues in which I try to ignore!!! Except the lady across the street there is NO ignoring here especially this time of year !!!!!! Her name is Joanie it fits she’s 60-ish and CRAZY. Joanie sits on her porch swing all day talking loud enough I can hear it as I live on a busy street! This woman talks and talks but in 5 or 6 different voices every night at exactly 8 she goes to bed but before she beats the living hell outta something in the house !! She creeps me out big time she and her dozens of personailities live alone
God, I have new neighbors. Today, some random old bag stopped me to play guess my ethnicity. Then she asked my dogs name (mister doctor) then told me what a common name it was. She then blabbering on and on about who knows what until my sister and her dog came home. Apparently her dog also has a common name (jake). We got home to tell my brother in law about the crazy new neighbor to which he replied, “I met her yesterday when I was walking mister doctor and jake.” Right-O.
OMG, took mister doctor for a walk and new crazy neighbor had a crazy jesus friend over. My dog was wearing a bright blue t-shirt with pink collar and cuffs that said, “Have a nice day!” on one side, and a happy face on the other (made in thailand). Crazy neighbors crazy friend shouted something to me across the street, but I had in-ear-monitors in (headphones that fit into your ear like hearing aids, canceling noise and making your music sound amazing at low volumes). I guess she thought I was deaf. I looked back and she was signing to me and yelling, “Jesus died for your sins!” I wanted to yell, “My dogs a doctor!” to up her crazy, but refrained.
Please yell at her that your dog is a doctor. That is fabulous.
shay – I am officially in love with mister doctor.
Thanks Sweet T and Tootsie. He is pretty fabulous, but too clever. He’s been licking his wrist and rubbing his nose raw and bloody so he’s been in a space cone. He doesn’t even care. He plays, goes on walks, and runs up the stairs, hits the bottom lip of the cone and flies backward, looks embarrassed and moves along. I kept noticing it was freshly raw and then saw my white duvet was bloody. I caught him bunching up the duvet with his hands into a point/ball, shoving it into his cone and rubbing his nose with it. He also uses corners of furniture, stuffed animals and my niece’s knees.
I had to leave the house and came home to him running around coneless. In my bed, he created some kind of twister-tsunami-whirlpool-vortex blanket around the cone and backed out of it (my bowtie was undisturbed and it was wrapped with the duvet like an eggroll skin). Argh!
I love your characters in your neighborhood! Mine isn’t nearly as interesting. Actually, not interesting at all. I can live vicariously through you I guess. I wish I did Twitter.
âIt’s easy to sign up for an account, and then you could follow me. You don’t have to tweet yourself. Just follow me and maybe your local paper or something and read the tweets.
Or click here. https://twitter.com/TamaraTattles I am often there complaining about commenters (mostly the window lickers) and commenting on the things that happen outside my window that I look out of all day while working.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 3:19 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I have never followed anyone on Twitter, but I am no following you, TT. Not sure what that means, but I look forward to whatevver it is. Hahaha.
It means you just signed up for extra bitching and occasional drunken meltdowns.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 5:30 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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YAY! I love your bitchiness and look forward to drunken meltdowns, especially when they involve cursing out the neighbors like they so richly deserve. Can’t wait!
When I lived in a condo, before I moved to where I am now, there was a lady, Shar Pei Lady, in the unit across the way from me who had a Shar Pei. That dog was NOT friendly either and had been the subject of many memos from the HOA regarding keeping him from lunging at people behind their glass storm door. I always had enough sense to watch her front door whenever she was coming or going and see if he managed to push past and escape. Some people, though, were not blessed with that type of sense. Shar Pei Lady had a next-door-neighbor whom I’ll call Nosy and I’d known Nosy’s daughter from high school and she was a real cunt satchel. Nosy did things like have a cop friend run the tags of any of her neighbors’ visitors, always confront them over a scrap piece of paper not picked up off the street in front of their unit, accuse people of having “secret meetings” in which she was the topic of discussion, and just in general was a miserable piece of crap to have as a neighbor.
One day, Shar Pei Lady, who weighed all of 80 pounds, came tottering out on her trademark 4-inch heels (age 80!) and Shar Pei lunged past her and out onto the sidewalk just as Nosy was also exiting her domain. Nosy was startled and screeched at Shar Pei Lady in a very arrogant and abrasive manner “Get that Goddamned dog back in that house”. I witnessed all of this as I was sitting out on my front porch. Well, Nosy’s nosy ass got bitten, as well as her hand, and it’s a wonder Nosy wasn’t very badly injured. Shar Pei apparently was just startled mostly and in defense of Shar Pei Lady, but had no sincere desire to maul Nosy and quickly abandoned his quarry. Cops were called, more drama ensued. I was asked to tell what I had witnessed. Lawsuit ensued which dragged on for two years. I moved away from there the following year and, not being like Nosy, never badgered other residents to keep me in the loop as to how it all ended.
But I did learn that Shar Pei’s wealthy daughter eventually came to town and packed up her mother and whisked her off to her very nice Florida gated community. I have no idea of what happened to Shar Pei but I’m thinking the daughter took him along as well as she was an animal lover (I’d had dealings with her in the past involving a kitten rescue). So I think it was a happy ending for Shar Pei Lady and Shar Pei.
Nosy still lives on, to the detriment of the community. I’ll bet she has learned her lesson about being more watchful when around dogs, though. And I am hoping that she learned something about the use of her very abusive, loud mouth. (think NeNe)
I have a condo nazi. She isn’t my neighbor but she trolls the hallways (4 floors) then loops around our building, and come in thru the underground parking. I feel like she is the hall monitor. She has complained to the HOA about the tire being low on my rust bucket Jeep. She complains if a vehicle sits in the same parking spot for more than 4 consecutive days. Our deck is the entire length of our condo and I am a pro gardener, I have misc color/sizes of planters, if one doesn’t meet her level of satisfaction, she complains. We have gotten so many warnings, it is ridiculous.
We have Stank Breathy Lady. She exercises up and down the halls on our floor, with her radio headset in jamming away, until she encounters someone in the hall. She then attempts a half hour long gossip fest about the building’s inhabitants while invading my personal space and being engulfed in her strong effervescent stank breath. Every time I try to leave she follows me and keeps talking. It has gotten to the point were I have to be on a fake phone call so I don’t get bombarded.
I’m also very happy Andy is alive. And Banjo is too cute!
Thank goodness. For a minute there I thought you were going to start one of those twitter hashtags – where’s Andy. 🙂
Banjo is awesome!
Banjo looks like a good dog…I’m glad you have in your life and that he has you in his!!
Love your neighborhood TT. It is nice living with people, my semi country abode is too quiet.
About 10 days ago I received a notice my drivers license would be revoked in 30 days because of a 10 year old unpaid $505.00 ticket.
Turns out it was a dog running loose ticket on a dog that was a puppy in 2005.
I applied for a California ID, said I can’t fight the ticket because of the time that has passed.
I won’t pay this. I’m writing letters but I don’t know what will happen. I will drive.
I’m busy making “Free Calipatti” signs, just in case. xoxo
Tootsie & Minky, I am ticked off, a 10 yr old ticket pops up from some where and responsible. Not happening. I’m old and seldom get stopped, my last ticket was 5 yrs ago for 90 in a 65.
I will take this mess to our local newspaper, harassment of a senior on a fixed income. I’ll let my hair go back to grey.
I am not paying this!!
If you did the crime, you have to do the time. That said, do you live in a small town? When I did you could go to a magistrate and talk to them about your ticket. I was hot and wore a short skirt and my ticket was cut I half. It was actually the cop who told me to take it to the magistrate.
Do you know a lawyer who could handle this for you pro bono?
I think you should have the fine reduced somehow. OR…ask if you can get on a payment plan of like 25 cents a year?
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 7:20 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Be careful calipatti! The CHP and the Sheriff don’t fuck around. I don’t wanna see you on any episode of COPS. :0)
calipatti: 90 in a 65? What do they call you around town? Lead foot mama? lol
Many years ago I lived in CA. I was summoned for jury duty, but had to defer due to a conflict – all on the up and up with the judge. A few months later I decided to move out of state. A few months after that, I received notice from CA (forwarded to my new address), that I would be in contempt of court and they would issue a bench warrant for failure to appear unless I rescheduled. I’ve often wondered what would happen if I was stopped in CA during the numerous business trips I used to make after I moved.
Tootsie ~~ There might be a warrant out for you, serious.
I’m furious because I can’t fight this ticket.
Also why me, there were 4 adults living here in 2005, it is my sons dog and I remember when, I think, the ticket happened. Had nothing to do with me and the dog/puppy was NOT picked up. We all are on private property, not county. I want a court date.
Animal Control cited me because of a previous case they tried with my Mother who was 81. She had a licensed her small dog when she lived in town but not when she moved out here. Her dog always stayed home. They tracked her through her NOT renewing tags. Computer!
I got her a pro bono attorney, I went to the papers that took her photo when she had to be finger printed in front if the jail.
The folks around the county went nuts in her support.
All the papers ran the story with the photo of Mom. Yes Mom took this to court.
OMG, the courtroom was filled with every animal support group, 3 news cameras, a mess!
County animal control knew I was behind my Moms case because she lived with me and I refused them entry to my private property.
BTW, our private road is 2 miles long with 6 parcels. Animal control had no business out here.
Hire a lawyer and change your attitude for court. You have to play the docile sweet old lady on a fixed income card. You will lose (just like your mama) if you go in with this attitude.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 10:05 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Nothing. But you should have sent a letter back saying you had moved out of district. The only time I EVER got a jury summons and I so want to be on a jury… I had already moved as well.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 8:37 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Okay I’m not a lawyer. But the both of you need to fix your shit. Everybody thinks that California is a laid back, wonderful little place, full of hippies and bohemians. Yeah, that’s partially true, but listen to the song California Uber Alles by the Dead Kennedy’s and you’ll get a better idea of what’s it’s really like. Especially in an awful place like the OC. Ew.
Anyway, fix these things. I mean it. The law don’t play around.
Calipatti: Did any of your neighbors set you up? Because that’s what it sounds like to me. Calling the cops because somebody’s little puppy is wandering around? No. That doesn’t make sense. It’s sounds like someone hates you and did this deliberately. The Animal Control in my neck of the woods takes forever to tend to a legitimate problem. When I say legitimate I mean violent, unruly, full-grown dogs. Neighbors can be mean, spiteful people. Like, seriously.
Tootsie: Tamara’s right. Hire a lawyer and get their expert opinion. I mean a good lawyer. Not someone like Phaedra. Don’t be cheap about this. If you don’t have a document from court that proves they excused you, forget it. The only way they will believe you is if you have a piece of paper from the court. They’re not going to care about some judge giving you his word. California does not fuck around with shit.
OMG Minky, you’re a Dead Kennedys’ fan? One of the craziest concerts I ever attended, and included Jello Biafra losing his pants. Love them!
Yes cawoman23. I love all that shit! Dead Kennedy’s songs are really very insightful observations of society and culture. Hippies are fascists. Just look at them. Ew. Ha ha!
Phew! Hurray for Andy! And Banjo, my 80# lab mix “Miss. Kitty” is also a kid magnet. Not a good idea, she does not care for them and I have to watch kids like a hawk when we walk in town.
I was holding my breath all the way through that story while having flashbacks of all the times I’ve been out searching for dogs that went missing. None of them were my dogs – they all belonged to negligent neighbors who just let their dogs run wild and never bothered about them until they didn’t come home for dinner. So glad to hear that Andy turned up safely.
When I lived in Fort Collins I had a lovely neighbor who was in her 70’s and dealing with the early stages of Alzheimer’s. She had a Great Dane. Everyday she and her dog would sit out at the end of her driveway wearing matching outfits – always with crazy hats. Always different outfits every day. She really went all out for holidays. She was such a beloved figure in our neighborhood and became quite the local celebrity. That was over twenty years ago and I still think of her.
I’m not on Twitter, but I follow yours, every day. And I love all the tweets about your neighbors, I have started to feel like I know them! Thank God Andy is ok. Keep us posted, this was a good story.
i love Banjo despite whatever his feelings might be for me. I can completely identify with asshole neighbors. My two Yorkies are just like their Mama . . .they don’t like anyone walking, riding, running, talking, mowing, banging, drilling, power washing, MOTHERFUCKING BLOWING or any other noise-making activity anywhere near our house.
My next door neighbors and their BFF’s (just as annoying for diferent noisemaking reasons) across the street haven’t spoken to me in over a year since I found it necessary to open up my kitchen door one Sunday evening around 6 pm and scream at the top of my lungs, “TURN THAT MOTHERFUCKING CHAINSAW OFF,YOU FUCKING CHEAPSKATE!!!” I won’t bore you with the details, but the chainsawing went on for a week and every year, he finds some other noisy remodeling project to show everyone he’s the world’s greatest handyman. I wish he was near death watch, but no.
Now, everyone that moves into the neighborhood, they convince not to acknowledge my existence. Little do they know, this pleases me immensely because I don’t want to acknowledge theirs either. Works out fine for me because as we all know, “familiarity breeds contempt.” So true. The less they know about me, the better I like it.
HA! I am the same crazy woman. I scream at the leaf blower who takes 4 hours to blow around five leaves on a postage stamp front lawn. Caused a commotion in the street with some Jehovah Witnesses who were harassing a young lady I used to teach who was home alone. They didn’t get that her “not right now maybe later” Type approach meant to keep coming back to bother her. I recently reamed out a lawn guy screaming HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO USE THE WATER TO WASH YOUR SHITTY LAWNMOWER!
The Gaybor tells anyone who will listen that I am a horrible person and to stay away from me. Which as you said is great. Unless he is lying to the Po Po about stealing my ladder.
Yep, I’m the bitch of the block, and I’m good with that.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 4:45 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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That’s right, motherfuckers, “STAY THE FUCK AWAY!” LOL
I got into it last week with your leaf blower’s cousin who took 6 hours with a gas-powered blower to blow every leaf off of my neighbors shitty looking lawn ( that he never pays any attention to) instead of using a rake. He took a 3 hour break at 3 pm and came back at 6 and continued blowing them into the street until after dark whereupon he started dragging a metal rake down the street to clean them up.. I went off like 2 dozen motherfuckers, yelling at him out of my sunroom window and he’s acting like I’m the one creating the problem. Thank God, I wasn’t armed.
Please don’t get me started with the hillbilly handymen who get off their real jobs and come by and start powerwashing people’s houses and driveways at 4:30 pm. None of these noisemaking idiots get the concept of “just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.”
These neighbors go out for a walk for exercise every day, but won’t use a broom or a rake. They want to BLOW everything. I wish they had those blowers right up their asses.
I think I love you. NOW GET YOUR DOG OFF MY LAWN!
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 6:12 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I was always planning to take up this persona in old age, complete with seersucker house coat, no bra, cigarettes and hair in foam rollers. After consideration or the above, I clearly need to move up my timeline. Women with substance!
I AM DYING FOR SOME FOAM ROLLERS. I just never get out of the house to get any! I would LIVE in my foam rollers. kidding not.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 7:49 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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In the case of the Jehovah’s witness knocking on my door. When I lived at my parents house, I would see them coming, I would get my three german shepards and open the main door but not the storm door. My babies are very protective of me, they would woof or growl if one of the witness’s tried to speak. I never shushed my dogs. Then I would just mouth the word “Sorry” and shut the door. Fun times.
Our street is very quiet and it is just as much the dogs street as ours. All of the neighborhood dogs go to every house to get their treats. I also name my neighbors, The Pickle Heads next door (last name is Pickle), Blond bitch on the corner (because, well she’s a bitch), Shawshank across the street (both of their sons have been wearing ankle monitors for at least the last 2 years) and Propane man on the other side (from the time I caught him in the dead of winter outside in his underwear kicking the propane tank).
Hahaha. Thank God for the dogs. Otherwise, you’d be a raving lunatic bitch like me.
Oh man, my neighbors: hot tub hymns and hot tub hymns drunk friends sound classy next to some of your guys’ neighbors
True Jehovah’s Witness story. After they came by my house two days in a row (and I would not answer my door) they decided they might walk right in. Yes, yes they did,,,,for a second. I saw the door knob start to turn. Could not believe my eyes. Before they committed all the way, Jesus spoke to them telling them that this might be a bad idea. They stopped turning the door knob and went back to knocking. At one point, I was a little disappointed. I found myself praying that one of the group would be THAT stupid and just walk right on in my house. I fantasized the rest of the day on the many things I could of said or done. Stupid, stupid people.
All’s well that ends well, right. Tamara, you are always entertaining!
Dammit, I missed the post about the dead body next store…Please post the link. Pretty please. Thank God Andy is alive. Right now, I’m off to the ghetto dog park near my house. Nicest sharpei ever was dumped there & adopted by a neighbor. He looks like a black Banjo.
Banjo looks deceptively sweet. I would try to convince him and myself that he likes me. The pictures and the blog today are hilarious. I have one entertaining neighbor. He is probably an undiagnosed schizophrenic. He walks everywhere with a machete (he works for a surveyor sometimes), is often covered in blood (he guts and cleans fish for tourists), and argues with himself all the time. Tourists are terrified of him, but as far as I know, he’s never been physically violent. I can hear him coming for at least a block; he’s that loud. You know how it is in the South; we just think of him as a little different.
Was he in I Know What You Did Last Summer?
No, but it was filmed here! I think he was a little too authentic.
LizBeth- your dog is beautiful!
I was expecting the ending to be that the guy across the street rescued Andy, who being very special, had got himself stuck up the tree. (I have a cat.) I like cats and dogs more than people. I always have had more feelings for a picture of a puppy or kitten than a human baby.
I think I may be the neighborhood’s wierdo because I mostly leave the house after dark and not often. People comment. I don’t return their nosey phone calls, although may be intended to find out if I am dead or alive. I used to socialize with these people before the mental malaise struck me.
I don’t blame you for feeling love for animals, Angel, more so than most people. Animals will love us long after people abandon is what I have found. Same thing about baby animal pictures, so sweet.
I got nicknamed “baby hater” because I could pretend to be excited at an office baby shower. (And… when prompted about lack of excitement I said, “It’d be a lot more exciting if she was having a puppy.”
Angel – I had the same crazy thought while reading the story – expecting the neighbor was up in the tree to rescue Andy!
I totally get it Angel. Trust me. But I try to be in the house by dark. Here in the ghetto if you pause to long in the neighborhood you will have multiple laser scopes on you. It’s a bizarre sort of neighborhood watch. Nothing says ” I see you like a rifle scope lighting up your chest or head. People tend not to loiter here.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 6:50 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Love that Banjo shot. Amber is getting close to the end, and her look is sad. She’s laying here, as I check in with this world. So, I realize it sounds small, but WHY ARE THOSE SKANKY TRASH BAG K HORRIBLE K PEOPLE on Bravo? It is so often my default network, but I take pride in always turning the channel if they are on, or never clicking on anything with them in it.
A K FREE WORLD is what I aim for. What can we do? How do we stop the proliferation? How do I cope? Seriously worked up over this invasion. Need assistance. Please!
No it’s not small, I saw that invasion earlier today and it put me off like a bad smell. Always change the channel too! I’m not sure who Amber is but sending you best wishes…take care.
I noticed the marathon yesterday, and from the original air dates it looked like their current season!
I read that someone has come out with an app that will block any content that contains anything about the Kardashians. What a great idea!
These are all hysterically funny stories about the Neighbors From Hell!
I’m dying… Thank you. Too funny!
I think most of us can admit that women of a certain age can go ballistic (or laugh, or cry, etc.) at the drop of a hat. I’ve always been thankful that I don’t own firearms. Actually, it should be a law. No firearms for women in any stage of menopause. 🙂
Sounds like you have an interesting cast of Characters in your neighborhood! We have a house that has a group home for Developmentally Disabled Adults in it. At least once a week I have to walk one of the housemates, Suzie, home because she thinks my house is her house. Ahhh, the horrors of living in tract housing!
I have a neighbor on one side of me, puffing away at her medical Marijuana…alot. I wouldnt object, save for the fact that it blows right over the fence and into my living room, where my kids are. The other side my neighbor is a horrible wench indeed. She is so nosey, and has called the cops on me for my mother parking in front of her house. In her street. Which is legal. Ugh…. trade ya neighbors? Please?????
This is the best post you’ve ever written. Forget reality tv. Reality Neighborhood Watch is your true calling. I smiled, I cringed, I laughed, I cringed again, I was sad, hopeful and sad again… only to be relieved and happy and wanting more!
Thanks, Shay. I have lots of stories to tell but I didn’t want to make y’all think you had to talk to them in Daily Tea. I have to post SOMETHING in Daily Tea and this was a story that resolved itself today.
For those asking, I’ve never told the dead body story. It’s kind of depressing so I hesitate to share with all of us that feel down a lot. I much prefer focusing on the hipsters. I love them all. But I am the crazy bitch of the block so they are not fans. In fact hipster boy used to live with hipster girl and they are very good with their dog. So one night I was drunk booking a trip as I am want to do and hipster girl was out and I drunk called her to the fence and she was like, let me think about it, but can I just ask why you never talked to us before and why you want us to watch your dog?
The obvious answer was because I am anxious and depressed and a crazy menopausal old lady. Thankfully she didn’t exactly pose it as a question.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 8:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’ve looked high and low on this blog, and I can’t find a thread for the Friday night Friendless folk who want to say something of a more serious nature. So I will comment here. What’s the worst that can happen? TT deletes my comment? No one reads my comment? I get banished to the window licking section? I’m not feeling all love and light, magic tomato plants today. Yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of my mom’s death. I know, I know, as an adult I should expect my parents to leave this world before I. But as a single, childless, jobless, homeless, friendless woman of a certain age, the sadness just came crashing down. I think the thing I miss most about my mom is knowing that there is another human being in this world who loves me unconditionally. So, for all of you who are still blessed with a mom in your life – don’t forget to do something special for her on Mother’s day. You never know how many special days you have left.
Tootsie, YOU are wanted in here. I always check to see if you’ve commented on a post.
Suggestion, even though I don’t think you do suggestions very well, volunteer somewhere. Literacy program, teaching people to read. All you need to know is how to read, they will give you the tools.
You are a smart well versed woman, share that.
Your mom must have been a good woman because you are.
calipatti: I always check for your comments as well. Don’t know why, but I like you (and I usually don’t anyone, except TT of course). I know I should find a job. I know I should volunteer. I know I should go for a walk. I know I should buy a stupid magic tomato plant. I just can’t seem to get out of the house. My mom was amazing. I’m pretty sure I was a disappointment, but she loved me anyway.
Start with the magic tomato plant. I suggested that to all of us because it’s not THAT hard. It’s a step. Take the step with US. We are all here for you.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 10:59 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Or even better, Toots could tutor for money. Toots Tutoring! $50 is a good starting price.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 10:33 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Aww, Tootsie I feel the same way. My Dad and Brother died when I was young and I am exceptionally close to my Mom. I can’t imagine life without her. I’m so sorry for your loss and can only imagine how hard this time of year can be. Hugs to you and I’m sure there is someone out there that you haven’t found yet who will love you unconditionally or maybe there is already someone who does 🙂
Well crap. Now you’ve made me cry. xoxo
Aw Toots, you know I got your back! I’m sorry. I am weird in that I don’t focus on when people died. I could not tell you when either of my parents died or how long ago it was. I tend to distance myself from the bad things. I can’t think about it to the point my brain doesn’t even let me remember much.
And you are right. Parents die. I am much like you, in that I am also all of those things you mentioned other than homeless. That makes it very hard. The loneliness is magnified when you don’t have your own partner and your own family.
What I am fortunate to have done from the age of 16 is to start doing things alone. It was like I was preparing myself for this. I practiced going to movies alone as soon as I could drive after I read a story in Cosmo about women going to movies and out to eat on their own. I LOVED IT. I loved it so much that I’m not sure I could ever stop doing it. I vacation on my own and today someone suggested I take a family member with me on the next one, and I could not fathom going on vacation with anyone at this point. I AM QUEEN OF MY DOMAIN! I can say fuck Mother’s Day, Christmas, Kwanza and Shabat. I have ZERO obligations to go to anything I do not want to do. After a life time of “let Tamara handle it, she’s single” I am doing my thing all day long.
So, Toots, do your thing. AND BUY GODDAMN TOMATO PLANT.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 8:28 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Oh honey. I’ve done everything on my own since I was 17. I have no problem living, going to movies, going out to dinner, and vacationing alone. I just can’t figure out what happened to the woman I used to be. Ever since I lost my job a few months after losing my mom, I just can’t seem to get it together. I will seek comfort here (you are the best TT, and you know how I feel) and try to move forward. Although, I really don’t think I will get a tomato plant.
I don’t have a problem with holidays, haven’t even celebrated a holiday with family since my mom died. It’s something about Mother’s day and the fact that it’s a few days after my mom died.
OK, I will just admit it now. I am a mess. I didn’t used to be, but I am now. TT: thanks so much for allowing me this forum to vent.
xoxo
What we are trying to tell you is we are all a mess. And that is okay. And of course it is okay to vent here, that is what we do in Daily Tea.
We’re all riding this out together. But let’s try to be supportive of each other.
I think a tomato plant would help more than you know.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 11:34 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Tootsie- go to a free meditation class. No joke, suck up your pride/ego and any preconceived notions you have and just do it. Your life will not get better until you make the choice to change it. You are decided how you feel each day. If you sit and dwell on negativity all day long, then by law of attraction you will only bring more woe and negativity into your life.
For example Kim Richards- if she can humble herself, drop the pride, ego, & entitlement mind set, then and only then can she heal herself.
Read or watch “The Secret” previously I had a very similar mindset. I dwelled on the fact that my immediate family is considered the black sheep. My mothers side of the family has always hated my dad and treated his kids different than my cousins. I have strongly disliked how my mother has always tried to control me. My anger towards my only brother committing suicide when I was 13, thus making me terrified to date and get in any serious relationship. The list can go on. I can forgive but I will never forget. Every once and a while some of the old feelings of resentment come up, but I think of it (resentment/anger) like a hot coal in my hands. I am only hurting myself. I am wasting the calories on hurting myself. I ask myself, “How am I benefiting from thinking about the hot coal? How is this helping me?” Most of the time it will put me in a funk. I will then change my environment or focus. Go outside for a walk, run to the gas station for a .25cent pack of gum. Any thing to change my attention.
All of the above suggestions worked/works for me. I don’t know you personally, and would only like to help facilitate your happiness.
Tamara and the TT community are very supportive in times of need. We may mock reality duds but we have genuine warmth and support towards each other’s personal struggles.
Now if it is two differing opinions on a reality dud, then the gloves are off and every man/woman for themselves.
About your mom- I am very sorry for your loss. Our ages shouldn’t matter, all of us have/had mothers and sometimes you just need that unconditional love and support. At 32, I still get scared and stressed and all I want is my mommy to come along with a band aid or a hug, telling me everything will be alright. Jesus, making myself cry……. Shit
I am sending positive energy/prayers/support your way.
Wiping tears……………..music fades out……..
Tootsie you are not alone. Please take some comfort in knowing that there’s somebody who loves you unconditionally, even if it’s only me. I have a feeling I’m not the only one.
Nope, It’s not just you. We are all in this together.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 11:31 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Oh Tootsie, I wish I could just give you a big hug! Last month was the second anniversary of my mother’s death. I keep thinking it’s going to get easier, and hopefully one day it will. When I feel especially low, I love to put on one of my favorite comedies because nothing feels better than laughter. I think a lot of us here think you’re pretty amazing, and you make me laugh all the time – so thank you!
cawoman23 (I really hope 23 isn’t your age – lol) What a sweetheart you are. I will accept that great big hug and raise you one right back at you!
HaHa No….birth date is April 23. I keep thinking I should change my name here. Everything I wanted was taken lol
I was born on the 23 too! It’s my lucky number!
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 7:50 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yay for the 23rd! Although I’m old enough now that the only thing I really enjoy about my birthday is the birthday cake! My husband and daughter usually forget, so this year I bought my own LOL
mmmm buttercream frosting 🙂
6/23 Bday for me
âme too!
On Sun, May 10, 2015 at 9:36 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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My aunt had Alzheimer’s and we had to take her car keys cause she kept getting lost. Well she got pissed off one day cause she couldnt find her keys so she left out walking. When nobody could get her by phone we went to her house she was gone so we went looking. We found her walking thru downtown with her adult diapers her carton of ciggarettes and 1/2 gallon of her fav. Peanut butter chocolate ice cream. The ice cream was melted and dripping all over her and she was tired and lost but unharmed. We had to put her in a home for her safety after that but it sure was funny seeing her walking with her favorite things. I remember her fondly with Mother’s Day coming up. She was a great lady!!!
PFFT. See toots? No one will take out keys when we get dementia.
We can eat out ice cream from our ghetto shacks or our cardboard boxes. We don’t give a fuck! 🙂
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 8:31 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Ice cream. Yum. Just make sure it isn’t Blue Bell.
Current recall aside, Blue Bell is the BEST tasting Ice Cream. I haven’t had any in 3 weeks, and my mouth & tummy can’t wait till it’s back on the market. #BlueBellForever.
Ciao Bella is the best ice cream. Find it at whole foods. I’m about to go and will probably get the pistachio gelato.
On Sun, May 10, 2015 at 1:08 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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i can be the bitch of the street, we have a click i guess you could say and i seem to be the head bitch. we have block parties that only include those we like although the people across form me always crash it, damn. they feel the whole street is theirs for their shitty cars and junk trucks. they are annoying, have a shitty yard and i have reaised their youngest child. up to and including the sex talk and getting her ready for her first high school dance, she is more my child than theirs. they would rather drink, smoke pot and play computer games than take care of a fuckign thing at their house.have a crazy bitch next door whom ignore most of the time except for the time she asked me to meet her in the street to fight.. she didn’t liekt hat i called her white trash. i go to the street and she stays in her fucking yard, seriously! i was ready. the other side of me is a youth pastor and his wife and she is really one of my closest friends. we have a great time and we conspire and have called the police to do a welfare check on the on lady who hardly ever leaves the house. like for days no signs of life and no lights turned on or naything, we were worried. then we have the paranoid retired teacher..wait is that you tt… nah her name isn’t tamara. lol. she is nice when she isn’t freaking about fleas on people and other peoples yard stuff maybe getting into her organic yard. we all have crazy in our area, we just need to embrace it
You sound like you’re the worst
IKR? Maybe one of her neighbors will post about her. Maybe I’m one of her neighbors. You never know.
Tootsie, your prior post hurt my heart. Have you logged onto facebook? I took a 2 year hiatus when I was at my lowest, feeling like no one was really my friend. I logged on to get photos stored there and found so much love waiting for me.
you are a kind, sincere person. You need to get out there and find people like yourself. We exist! Hugs.
I keep telling her we are all right here together!
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 11:29 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Wow Deb, congrats for being Queen of the crazies. Fighting in the street? And I thought I lived in the ghetto. You sound insane, and not in the good way.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 8:31 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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TT, I love how you have to clarify what kind of crazy is adorbs and what kind is pyscho. Some are both (kristen from Pump!) But some is…. window licking.
I do that just to let you know that I am the adorbs kind of crazy.
And YOU ARE UGLY!
Heh. I don’t know if you kept up with my Amanda Bynes posts which were infrequent because she was out of touch with reality crazy. She would go on Twitter and call out random celebs like… I forget who, but pretty people and says YOU ARE UGLY!
Anyway, we are all crazy. We all have mental health issues that we can/are working on. But some people are dangerous crazy. That is all.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 12:08 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yes, Amanda Bynes after 2005 telling someone cuter than her that they’re ugly, unsolicited, is akin to therealdeb justifying her socially unacceptable crazy to us, crazy adorbies. (do you think she killed the real deb and took her name? Wouldn’t put it passed thecrazydeb)
Also, did you ever have to tell someone a person they’re dealing with is crazy? “She’s crazy… and I don’t mean, ‘Girl, you sooo crazy!'”
i am sure they do, but i take care of my kids and pay my bills. let them post i could care less
we have a fun group and have at times invited others and they didn’t come so we no longer ask.
Oh honey, you were ready to meet your neighbor in the street to fight? More power to you, taking care of your kids and paying your bills. But seriously – street fighting? Just not something I can relate to.
i should have mentioned what she was yelling at my toddler at the time. a toddler who was in my fenced yard, but she has been fired from and had her nursing license taken away for abusing patients. i would do it again to anyone who talks to not only my child but to any child like that.
You sound like a lunatic.
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 9:42 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Deb: you pretty much meet the definition of a thug. That is all.
Lmfao… Thug life.
Great story, TT! So happy to read that Andy is ok. People who don’t keep their pets on a leash are my biggest pet peeve. I will yell at random people about it and irl I am a fairly quiet I keep a cheap leash in my car that I hand out to people or to catch stray dogs. I also keep window chalk in my car to warn people the dangers of leaving a dog in a hot car (unless it’s bad then I call 911.) Yes, I am one of those animal people and damn proud of it. I find it easier to bond with them.
I also joined a dating site tonight, per your advice, and now have 27 emails that I don’t know if I want to read lol.
Wait, what? TT is doling out dating advice? How did I miss that? No worries, good luck. 27 emails should be pretty good odds, don’t you think?
I was whining about two guys in an earlier daily tea and TT said people should just join Match, so I joined a dating site tonight. I guess we will see what happens if I ever go back to check the messages. 🙂
Tamara sez….go check the messages!
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 9:46 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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YAY!
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 9:24 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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The first one I checked read, and I quote, “Thank God you can still have kids.” I replied that I hate kids (I really don’t ) but what an asshole. It’s pretty obvious that no one wants his kids anyway since he is pushing 40 and that is his pick up line.
Heh welcome to dating JustJenn
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 11:43 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I still can’t believe you guys didn’t care if the cute little hipster boy across the street whose hipster girl apparently left him for the hipster boy one house over was going to hang himself. He doesn’t even like me and I wanted to go talk him down!
Turns out he was cutting some dead branches. It’s a live oak over 50 years old. I had no idea they needed trimming but that is what he was doing. #Hipster #Enviromenalist.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 12:23 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
> Heh welcome to dating JustJenn > > On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 11:43 PM, Tamara Tattles [email protected]> wrote: > >>
TT- the hipster was cutting his live oak now?!?! Hopefully he has the only Oak on the block. He just killed that tree. In MN, we have many diseases that kill off oaks if your prune/cut oaks after April 1. B.O.B – Burr Oak Blight, Oak Wilt, anthracnose, the list can go on.
If there are other Oaks in close proximity to his, then he just put all of them at risk. Oak roots graft to other Oaks. The trees shares water, nutrients and harmful diseases.
If he killed it, he killed me too. Because that fucker is directly in front of where I sit all day and huge enough to cross the street, smush me and my entire shack and hit the back fence as well. It’s HUGE.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 9:14 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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It was nice knowing you, TT. Please leave me Banjo & your new purse in your will. I’ll take good care of both of them… >
I am trying to have a lazy day without much work today. So far that isn’t working but I did loll around until afternoon watching some show on FYI called OUTBACK something. It’s a backyard makeover show from Australia. I thought my backyard was big but these people have HUGE ones.
Anyway, my laziness was disrupted by AL screaming at Andy who was wandering off again. I do not understand why she doesn’t leash him. WHY?
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 3:32 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
> If he killed it, he killed me too. Because that fucker is directly in > front of where I sit all day and huge enough to cross the street, smush me > and my entire shack and hit the back fence as well. It’s HUGE. > > On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 9:14 AM, Tamara Tattles [email protected]> wrote: > >>
I have that rug. lol that is all.
I don’t. We are about 3 rugs past that now. I bought this last one on Overstock it’s bigger and covers the floor better, All my hardwood were redone after the Gaybor who rented here before I move in caught fire to the living room. For some reason the LR/DR (AKA THE MOST IMPORTANT ROOMS IN THE HOUSE could not be refinished because some slats are slightly buckled. Anyway. Banjo has long nails and will not allow anyone to cut them. I probably could but I am afraid of hurting him and he stretches and does dog yoga on the carpet under the ceiling fan so.. I just stack all the old ones up on the cinderblock patio in the back yard (keeps the weeds down) and he has a nice outdoor carpet. LOL The one we have now was only like $100 and it is supposedly indoor/outdoor anyway but I don’t know how that distinction is made. I really like it but I have to cut the pulls every now and then, but it is mostly Banjo colored so the hair doesn’t show. :)
On Fri, May 8, 2015 at 10:00 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Mister hates his nails cut, too. I noticed he always fell asleep at the nail salon when I go zo I bought a dremel on amazon (Pro grade one on sale from $200 to $40 and the sandbits are literally 1 penny each). I change the sander for each hand, and rotate between 2 nails at a time so it doesn’t get hot. He sleeps when I do it. He used to be impossible and muzzled. My sisters dog has black nails and was so scared, but asleep by the second foot. (Amazon has liberal return policies)
I think he would sense my fear. A friend stayed with me once who was very good with dogs and she cut them on her last day and he let her. I just need to try it.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 12:18 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yes, confidence is key. Also not leaving it on one nail more than 2 seconds, constantly touching where you shaved to make sure it’s not hot. If you’ve had acrylics, you’d know how much it burns like a cut to have your real nail drilled (the rpms cause the burning). Changing the sanders helps keep it sharp/fast so you don’t have to hold it in one place for long… faster results. To start, lay him down in a place where hee higher so you can see the nail (him couch, you floor, etc). And give him a treat, turn it on, another treat, do a short session where you are SURE you aren’t hurting him. Don’t let him control the session. If he pulls his hand back (and you are sure you didn’t hurt him), gently pull it back toward you and continue. Don’t ever finish a hand/session with him pulling his hand away or getting off the couch. Make sure you’re done, you rub his belly, turn off the machine while he’s submitted and release him “all done” and treat him. Make the first session “useless” as far as trimming and focus on the positive, relaxing experience. (I hold the paw and nail I’m working on to limit the vibration and keep the nail from slipping or his paw from getting knicked.) Let me know if you want me to send you a video.
Exactly why I bought it. My Reiche is passed now but he lived in our Bed rm and that was his spot. He was a beagle/pointer mix .I got mine from Bed bath and Beyond. It was $300 bucks but I patiently waited for that bitch to go on sale. It was finally did and it was clearanced to $99 and I had a $5.00 coupon and a 20% off. Sweeeet! It’s still in great shape and I have my memories and my baby lying at the bottom of the bed on that rug. I just made my first purchased at OS and ironically,. It was an outdoor patio rug. So far so good.
JustJenn: Are you the one that was talking about the 2 guys you were seeing that were clients of your business? If that was you, TT gave you the best advice. Go back and check the messages.
I did see and thanked TT..she is very wise and I received a lot of good advice and ending up telling them both I wasn’t interested. TT did say something about Match and it got me thinking about it. I am shy and awkward, so that is probably my best bet away from work.
Awww Banjo is soooo cute. I want to snuggle him.
Ps I love your rug too. Happy Friday TT
. Once again thanks for an entertaining week!
There lies one more noble than man with all of his graces and none of his vices.
That was so good. I nearly cried when I thought Andy was dead. Damnit. A human death and I’m like :::that sucks, shrug::: An animal death and I’m like WAAAHHHHHHH :*( I hope that doesn’t make me a cunt satchel. BTW, is a cunt satchel anything like a colostomy bag?
No. One chooses to be a cunt satchel. Shit happens.
So the freaks are alive on POF. I am going to bed. I wish you all a great night and I will update you guys later because no one should keep some of this to themselves. Good night all and Happy Mother’s Day to EVERYONE
âOMG I have never tried Plenty of Fish. I will be living for your stories.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 12:03 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I want details too!
Banjo is totes adorbs!
(someone mentioned Pump Rules so I’m channeling kid talk)
Today I got the official word that I’ve been denied Disability. They deny everyone unless you get a lawyer so I knew it was coming but it’s still really disappointing. I’m not sure it’s even worth getting a lawyer so now I need to figure out how to support myself without leaving the house. I’m throwing a pity party if anyone wants to come, without cake (my biggest vice right now).
Lady C, get the lawyer. They only charge you 2 disability checks. So worth it. (There is a set max.) Even though I got a lawyer but have mail phobia so when my state disability ran out a year ago I haven’t filled out the lawyers paperwork yet. I will do it this week. Can you Google for the lawyer so I feel somewhat accomplished?
Thanks, Shay! For the support & advice… >
I hired a lawyer too. I don’t want to give out the name and possibly get in trouble, but they are all over and advertise on TV constantly, (hint the initials are B & B). Plus, write a letter to your senator, regarding the denial. I hope you are a regular voter, because it sure helps.
Thanks, Diva. I’ve never heard of the Senator angle. Do they really help? >
Happy to hear Andy is alive. I wish I lived close enough to steal him. I love reading your neighborhood stories!!
Live long and prosper Andy!!!
That sounds like my street only mine is more like drug dealers and crack heads. I was taking all of their dogs to save their lives. One of my sweetest died Wednesday morning after surgery to remove a bowel impaction. I miss him so much.
Thank you TT and your commenters for indulging me in my pity party last night. Tootsie will now return to her regular snarky behavior. 🙂
Any time. We all sort of take turns around here.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 4:00 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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We’re so lucky to have a place where we can share ourselves at our lowest one day & then get on our high horse the next. TT has created a pretty special thing here. Thanks for sharing your angst, Tootsie. And your snark. Both make me feel at home. >
Right back at you Cocotte. I love me some angst and snark.
This is so weird, my youngest child (my only girl) has always been a math/science kid (yeah STEM scholarship) . She is able to memorize everything and I think this has been very bad for her reading skills.There has always been a huge gap in her comprehension skills, but she gets good grades. My mother was an SLD teacher and believes she has an issue, I do not get it, she has As and Bs in Advanced English.Ok, our dog is named Scout and she is a freshman struggling with To KIll a Mocking Bird. Dialect is totally throwing her (and the Dewey Decimal System,did not think about that issue). TT , any ideas? She started high school , got a D first grading period and has had A or high B’s after that. I am certain she is listening to people and is capable of repeating what she hears. Reading is as easy as breathing to me so I have no idea how to help her and the school offers no opportunity to address it ,because she makes good grades ,but she is in the 90th /up % in math and Science but falls into the passing % on reading for standard testing. I KNOW SHE is memorizing stuff. Please any suggestions would be great. Like I said, my mom was an SLD teacher but she is retired and rules have changed but I am certain she is not comprehending and just memorizing shit.
Read with her, outloud. You read a page, she reads a page. Repeat. At the end of the chapter ask her what the most important thing was that happened in that chapter. Ask her if she were the teacher, what questions would she ask her students to be sure the students were reading the chapter. Try that for a week or two and then have her do it on her own. Mayb you could read a chapter on your own and she could quiz you on it. Make her take the perspective of the teacher. It will help.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 6:50 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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@it wasjulie, I would think, since she is good at math, the analytical skills are there.
1) How is her penmanship in languages and math notes? Is she reversing certain letters/numbers?
2) Pick some very random article/story and have her read it to you. Can she read it fluently?
3) Does she have any funny/charming/annoying/cherished by you habits?
(ex. one of my kids is humming when completely focused on something).
Do not undermine retired teacher 🙂
I’d like to wish all mothers and mother figures everywhere, a very happy Mothers’ Day tomorrow.
Yay for Andy still being with the living. Banjo looks pretty adorable – my Toby would be just a tasty morsel for him!
I kid about my dog eating people’s purse dogs, but in reality, Banjo LOVES Andy and all little male dogs. Most’s because they are the right height and willing to lick his dick, but still. Yep, Banjo loves him some twinks and the twinks love Banjo.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 7:48 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Toby would baffle Banjo. He tries to climb up my leg whenever another dog approaches, and plays statue whenever one tries to sniff him. I think he thinks he is invisible if he doesn’t move. But try walking past our front door, especially with a dog on a leash, and he will bark like he is going to rip off your head. My dog is very confused.
My dog evaluator said that Banjo doesn’t do the requisite butt sniffing before engaging with other dogs. So when he approaches them they are slightly defensive and he then goes for the jugular or something. All I remember is that he is butt sniffing impaired. He needs a group for that.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 11:23 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I haven’t watched Saturday Night Live since the Nixon Administration, and it is on now, and whatever that opening scene was supposed to be SUCKED.
On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 11:34 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
> My dog evaluator said that Banjo doesn’t do the requisite butt sniffing > before engaging with other dogs. So when he approaches them they are > slightly defensive and he then goes for the jugular or something. All I > remember is that he is butt sniffing impaired. He needs a group for that. > > On Sat, May 9, 2015 at 11:23 PM, Tamara Tattles [email protected]> wrote: > >>
Toby has never sniffed a dog’s butt in his life. However, he LOVES to sniff the butt of the one cat he can get near. Whenever another dog sniffs his butt, he freezes in terror and gets this look on his face like “oh ffs, get it over with and move on!”
And that’s why I stopped watching SNL except for the “best of” episodes. Too much crap to wade through to get to the good stuff.