I didn’t mean to neglect the Daily Tea! I get very busy from Sunday until Wednesday. I love all of the links and tea that you guys send in. I appreciate it when you send it to Tamara Tattles (all one word) at gmail.
No real topic starter today. Other than there is a lot of hullabaloo about green tea. My brother swears by it and he gives good advice. So maybe try to have a cup at some point today? I don’t have hot tea a lot at home. So maybe, if I want to follow my own suggestion, I’ll go out for Chinese food. I love the pot of hot tea they have. I really doubt I will have time for that but I will try to make a cup at some point today.
I love how so many of you are growing tomatoes with me. I bought mine at a farmers market from more than one local seller. I don’t know how much longer I should give them to shape up. I’ve never had plants take so long to start to flourish. I’m impatient.
Anyway. Chat away here about anything at all. I don’t mean to make this about tomatoes all day every day. What is going on in your life?
I don’t know what made me think about this, but I was thinking about beautiful clothing today, looking through magazines that get sent to my mailbox. I’d like to be about 50 pounds skinnier (yes, I am a bit of a Princess Fat-Assia) and be able to wear beautiful things.
That got me to thinking about what other period in time I’d like to dress if I had the choice. So I’m wondering what the other ladies on here would fantasize about clothing- wise.
I like two very different styles. I love iconic, classic Chanel with simple lines. But I really love the Edwardian style, (think Titanic) with the beautiful lace overlaid dresses and nipped-in waistcoats.
In real life I wear yoga pants pretty much 24/7. In fantasy life I see myself in corsets and hoop skirts ala GWTW, or floaty dresses from the 50s ala Grace Kelley.
TTTED: In the spirit of empathy, I have shipped my tomato plant to Kim Richards.
You never BOUGHT a damn tomato plant.
Wasn’t this whole project started to help you? Plant a damn plant. Go for a short walk. Don’t make me track you down.
On Wed, May 6, 2015 at 12:53 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Tootsie, I did it, I bought a tomato plant, $6.00. You can do this, just take money.
** HINT, do not leave it in the back of your car for a few days.
I love the classics too. To this day one of my favorite pieces is a black pleated skirt. Wear a nice blouse, a nice pair of pumps (and pantyhose, yes, I am a pantyhose girl to this day and I’m glad Princess whatever her name is, wears them too. I think the bluebloods make her though) I digressed. Anyway, when I’m wearing my pleated skirt and it’s kind of swishing when I walk, I’m feeling pretty perky! I will always go for the clean classic lines every time.
Oh, and I kind of love the 20’s flapper dresses. They looked so comfortable and yet so cute and daring in a way.
My legs need pantyhose. Have you noticed how hard it is to find a pair of black leather pumps with a 1½”to 2″ heels?
I like A line shift dresses or Empire style. Hides the hips.
I love clothes. Channel was a brilliant designer. She designed her clothes to get away from the corsets and complicated clothes from the Edwardian period. WWI helped. She also made suntans fashionable.
I do think the overly elaborate bustled dresses are hideous. I like the Edwardian, Victorian hoops, Renaissance clothing, Empire, and the 1700’s styles, but I am so glad I don’t have to wear them. Corsets, petticoats, stockings, and all those layers. Sounds almost as bad as Lisamia’s hazmat suit.
I love fine clothing – beautiful fabrics, classic tailoring. There is something so wonderful about slipping on a well made silk blouse. In my business life, I wear tailored suits and pumps. And yes, I must wear pantyhose. I don’t feel properly dressed without them. For casual dress I favor an English/Ralph Lauren style of dressing. I’ve mostly lived in cooler climates so that has worked for me. The big, However, is that I am now in Texas so the summer here is unbearable. It’s linens and cottons recently.
Five cats, I know what you mean about the 2″ pumps being hard to find. I stick with Ferragamo and sometimes, Taryn Rose. They always have a good selection of 2″ heels and they are always so comfortable. I walk a lot all day and my feet never suffer.
Is anyone else simply apalled with what’s happening in the fashion world? So many things coming out now for women look like clothing for polyesther wearing prostitutes. Even little girl’s clothing looks like it is made for junior tarts in training. I cringe everytime I want to buy something for my neice. Gaudy fabrics covered in sequins and glitter. I always give up and buy her books or toys.
I always thought a line if little pink T shirts with Stripper in Training written across them in glitter would be a big seller.
I used to sew for my God daughter. I sewed for my son too, but boys are easier to dress.
I still live in hope that women will rebel against the clothes and plastic bleached blonde Barbie with porn star pink lipstick.
Thank goodness I am old enough that I don’t have to care about following fashion. My LBD and my evening gown are about. 10 years old and I still wear them when ever we have to go to the yearly Christmas parties or other dressy events.
Now that I am retired, I live in flats or sandals.
I love those “Edwardian style” clothes as well but could never wear them. I hate to be hot, I was born with a naturally high body temperature. I am most comfortable in the winter and tend to suffer in the summer. As far as fashion goes, I have always kind of had my own style. I tend to like feminine type style like lace, pretty prints, etc. My Favorite color is Purple.
Lawstangel, my favorite color is purple too, and I’ve been told that means that somehow I am mentally unbalanced or crazy or some such crapola. (I don’t know where people come up with these “findings.”) I prefer to believe I love the color because it is the color of royalty! I also love yellow, not lemon yellow, but the gorgeous yellow color of the sunflower.
@Gingersnap- I will give you something else to think about. It’s also the favorite color of “Prince” because it is the color of the sky as dawn breaks…makes him feel closer to God. Then there is the infamous ” “I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it…” much better thoughts then the mentally unbalanced theory!
Those were much nicer thoughts, Lawstangel <3
Green tea is very good for you, Tamara. Increases metabolism, wards off cardiovascular problems, diabetes ……and a whole host of other benefits.
But guess what else it is good for? YOU’R GARDEN!
Open the left over tea bags, sprinkle at base of plants for increasing nitrogen and decreasing fungas.
Gardening is my passion. I am never as happy as when I am elbow deep in dirt or picking my bouquets of flowers.
If you are going to give Green Tea a try, try the Roasted Brown Rice Green Tea, or just plain Jasmine. The Rice tea has a …. fuller flavor? If that is a thing? I have no idea, I just love it! And Jasmine is really good too.
And as for chat…. well, a Meth hose burned down near my son’s school, and there was an amazing animal rights rally last weekend (due to the horrific machete killing of a man’s dog) that the kids and I went to. Not much else here….
Meth HOUSE. typing in bed in the dark whilst my man snores away beside me doesnt make for good spelling, one would suppose.
It makes my blood boil hearing about a dog being hacked to death by a machete. This human animal is a loser and a coward.
I have seen so many horrible stories about abused animals on Facebook recently. It’s to the point that I just can’t read them anymore.
I discovered this morning that I ran over a mouse that was in my driveway when I took my daughter to school. Of course I didn’t see it and it was an accident, but I feel terribly guilty nonetheless. So how can these disgusting people hurt amd torture an animal deliberately and feel nothing? I try to stay positive but when you read day in and day out about what assholes people can be it makes it hard.
Yeah, it was two guys, after trying to extort $1000 from the guy. F-ing Merced, man. I swear it gets worse here every day. This one was just another in a recent spate of animal abuse cases that makes my stomach churn. Planning on moving soon, and I was born here. That is how bad it is getting these days. #fixfixitJesus
Good God.
Lovely place to take children.
I’m out of this tea.
Jesus
On Wed, May 6, 2015 at 1:52 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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What the fuck? Unholy did the fumes maybe get to you when the meth house was burning down.
Lol perhaps?
Well, I’ve been a TT’s house for so long, I’m afraid she will want to charge me rent, but before I go for the night, I want to talk about how much fun I’ve had and how enjoyable it is to be here. I appreciate so many of the commenters, but most of all, I appreciate TT for giving me/us this forum to be a part of. THANKS TT! I loves ya like a pig loves slop!
Later!
Okay, I finally am putting up a photo of me on my comments. I was part of the lab group of Team Ebola at the hospital where I work. If we got any patients with Ebola, they would have to be quarantined, along with all their specimens. And testing was going to be done in a special lab right next to the patients’ rooms. I am wearing a real hazmat suit! We had to take a class to learn how to get it on and take it off. It takes three hours! Fortunately the Ebola scare fizzled out, so Team Ebola was disbanded before it got really started. But, I still have the photo!
Little Petomato Kyle now has three leaves! We changed the water and have the boyrfriend made a little cylinder around the bottle to keep the roots from getting too much sun.
Love iced greed tea.
i’m glad you didn’t have to spring into action!
Me too, @cawoman23.
Are you planning to recap Blood Sweat & Heels. I like your side commentary. Watching it while reading the Twitter comments are Hilarious. Geneva gets the most called out for the crazy things she says.
She was on a role last week. “Like Anna Wintour but with a brain”. From the girl who wants to be a fashion stylist. Weird career move.
I have tried green tea but couldn’t get into it…I am a Black tea girl..The caffeine is awesome! I drink about 8 cups a day which is not good according to my doctor but i need to kick or either I’m addicted..
Just had to stop my black tea addiction, never knew how bad it was for you in large quantities! Now it’s a monthly treat! Trying to find something to replace my beloved black teas!
Took me a while to get into Green, but I feel you on the Black Tea. I still keep mine handy — when I need the extra energy, I’ll make a tumbler with a green and a black tea bag.
SoCal could you recommend a good brand of the black tea to start with? Since I quit smoking 2 years ago my taste buds can’t handle coffee in the mornings but I still crave the need for a kick start in the mornings.
I want to like it, but I don’t. It seems to taste like dirt. Maybe lemon would help?
Lemon might help. It could make it a bit tart, though – go easy on it if you do put it in. Try adding a light mix of lemon and truvia/stevia/cane sugar to see how it tastes. Honey will work also. 🙂
Katie62- try a good chai. For me I enjoy Tazo Chai.
I love fashions from the late 1940’s and 1950’s. Classic Dior and post WWII Coco Channel. I like early CoCo Channel as well. I love Carole Lombard’s iconic looks. If I had disposable money and places to wear gowns, I would collect vintage Edith Head.
I love Edith Head. I also love Helen Rose. She did Grace Kelly’s wedding dress.
Well to add my 2 cents for the Wed varietal, @Nancy, Gingersnap and Angel(?) I also am a member of the “fat-assia” club, lol. But I love fashion (and the catalogs that come to my house that I eventually have to throw away (because they accumulate really fast). I would love to be able to just get into the clothes that are already in my closet (with tags still on them). I keep buying ‘just in case clothes’. You know, just in case I get invited to this place or that function etc. Or just in case I loose enough weight to get into them in the first place, IF I exercised. Ha! Anyway I do like fashions from the 40s 60s and 80s. Would love to have a nice semi hourglass shape back and look fabulous in some tight pants. @Home, I also am a black tea girl, preferably iced. I will drink 8-16 oz. a day if I have it. Sorry TT, I am a failure at the tomato challenge. I don’t garden, but enjoy reading the stories of those of you that do. 🙂
eg, your closet must look just like mine. I have it labelled halfway down on both sides. I made labels out of index cards and one says “current clothing” and beyond that is labeled “aspirational clothing”. Both sets are separated by function and then further by color. Summer outfits are put together and hung on 3-piece hangers and winter stuff is crammed in the back. The “aspirational clothing” is size 8s and 10s with the tags still attached that I bought when I worked as a temp at Liz Clayborne one summer (and I’m a 14 bottom 16 top LOL) but somehow I convinced myself that grabbing these things while the were on sale would shame me to get fit. That was 7 years ago….the delusional closet.
@Nancy, I think we need a ‘closet’ intervention! 🙂
Well, this is really sort of “out there”, I guess. After being on Be The Match (the bone marrow registry) for 15 years, I was recently contacted by them as a potential match for a 59 year old female patient with a blood disorder. I went last week to have my blood work done and they will let me know if I am a match or not in the next 60 days. If you all could just send some good vibes or prayers out into the universe for the patient, I would be grateful and that if I am not the proper match for her, that they are successful in finding a match for her soon. Thanks. 🙂
Thoughts and prayers sent.
That is such a selfless and kind thing to do. Bless you and others like you. Because of you someone else will have a better life. Sending good wishes for all concerned.
Wow, that’s awesome. My best friend had a bone marrow transplant a few years back for Leukemia. I’m on the registry, too. Amazing to think your marrow could save someone’s life.
@Rebecca Barthlow~ My husband has made it to the blood work stage twice over the years and for one reason or another, he was not a match. I know that in one case it was for a 19 year old that was very sick, so it could have been that they were too ill to have a transplant.
I hope that your friend is now living a healthy life. 🙂
Prayers for the patient and for you. Thank you for being a blessing.
I’m sending out prayers that you are the perfect match. My 29 year old neice is recovering from leukemia (AML). She had the transplant, passed the 100 day mark, but is now having some issues with Graft vs Host. She is recovering though and that is the main thing.
Thank you for your generous act of kindness to a stranger. May your days be blessed.
@Shannah~ Prayers for your niece and your family.
jrleaguer ~ MUCH good energy and thoughts coming your way.
Sending prayers and energy to your niece.
I’m glad to hear she is recovering from the graft vs host. Blessings to her and your family.
Prayers are sent you lovely human being!
I love the Victorian era for women’s clothes. The crinoline and bustles and corseted looks. I love the attention to detail like the lace accross the top of the breast area in the front and the colors. But I’m also I big fan of the 60’s mod mini’s with the white long boots.
I’m not a tea girl at all. Which raises eyebrows since I was born and raised in Georgia and down here, babies use to get sweet tea in their bottles! Give me a cold coca cola and I’m good!
My fashion consists of yoga pants and tshirts in the fall/winter and running shorts and tshirts in the summer. If I do happen to wear something other than that, I like dresses. Usually A line or empire waist. Hides my muffin top from the 10 pounds of baby weight I haven’t dropped yet. My youngest is almost 4.
No a tea girl either, but as for your fashion choices, I am much the same. Shorts and T shirts or tanks in summer, with Jeans and sweater and sweat shirts in winter. Flip flips (we call them flerp flerps) or sneakers, year round if we ABSOLUTELY HAVE to wear shoes at all. Otherwise socks or bare feet.
I’ve become so porky that I focus on accessories. Accessories cause people to focus on something besides your fat rolls for a few minutes. I have a couple of Chanel handbags and I always tell my 13 year old daughter, “just wait! One day these will be yours!” and she says “ew, not my style.” I don’t think she’s actually my child anymore.
@ Sam, I find it hard to remain positive because of animal abuse, too.
~~~ I love having a fresh pot tea served and left on the restraunt table, if it turns out to be Jasmine, so much the better
Hot green tea. Hot Earl Grey. No sugar and no milk. Iced plain Liptons and I hate sweet tea. Like Shellbelle, I love Coca Cola. That stuff is delicious, cures nausea, and helps stop migraines. It is now a special treat.
Who ever invented iced tea in a can should be sentenced to life in prison. That stuff is an abomination.
I’m drinking iced black tea, no sweetener, does that count even just a little bit? I told my office mate I had to get my “go juice” in the spirit of Toddlers & Tiaras. My mind is filled with useless television references like that.
I recently upgraded to loose leaf tea and highly recommend it. My current favorite is Fruta Bomba from Teavana. It’s a green tea. I sometimes add their Pineapple Pop or a Strawberry Grapefruit. I could seriously just sit around and smell the tea leaves. If you’re not keen on straight green tea…give these a try.
If you’re not up for the whole loose leaf tea thing, give the Tazo Peachy Green a try. Also good.
My FAVORITE way to make tea at home is to put some anise seeds, dried mint leaves, & tea leaves or tea bag into the kettle & boil. It is so fricking good.
I’ve been purging my stuff for weeks now getting ready for the community garage sale this weekend. I have NEVER participated in a garage sale before. I am so nervous because I have so much stuff that I want need to get rid of, but I want to make money too.
I have over 400 cds, books, dvds, clothes, beer & soda signs, sunglasses, shoes, tons of random crap, brick-a-bracks, etc. I’m renting a cargo van & hauling all this shit to the sale site at the church parking lot. I am not looking forward to haggling with people over my stuff. I think I’m a boarder line hoarder (collector). It was HARD deciding on what to purge/keep. What was even harder was the all memories associated w/ everything. I feel like I’m throwing away parts of my life.
I sympathize. Be strong. The memories will still be there, even if the stuff isn’t. And think how calm you will feel once the clutter is gone.
Urethra, listen up…..it’s difficult at first. The old saying, “one’s man’s trash is another’s man’s treasure” is true. Once you bag you first sale….the rush is on. You’ll do just fine! Haggle in the morning…and get rid of your stuff before the end…..it’s so cleansing! Near the end of the day….you will likely have “thrift store shop” types who want to offer you a bulk price. Take it and run. You’ll be done with it all!
P.S. You are NOT tossing out parts of your life….all the best pieces and parts and emotions are in your heart.!
Best of Love and Luck to you! ( you got this)
UF…get some little stickers and make a quick price on them. Mark the stuff you know has value – even if just to you – with a little room for the haggle. Sell things in groups as much as possible with clear signs or stickers. This table, 5 bucks each. Box of books…15 for whole or a buck a piece. Give them your starting point and your buyers will show how much they want and will enjoy the things that have provided you joy. Don’t forget to smile. They’ll love you sweet One 🙂
TY for advice & kind words.
Pricing guide questions:
I have a 200 hundred CDs that I’ve put in a box for 50 cents each OR 11 for $5. Is that reasonable?
I also have a different group of CDs (around 200) that I want to sell for more money. Is $2 each or 6 CDs for $10. Is that too high for a garage sale.
Plus I have several that are 2 cd sets. Is $3 too much for those?
Is $2-3 for DVD movies acceptable or would you walk away?
What about Bill Clinton’s book “MY LIFE” ?
Any suggestions from experienced garage sale people appreciated.
I think your prices sound reasonable but it probably depends on your location. People are going to offer what they want to pay anyway. If you haven’t done a sale before, I will be the Debbie downer and warn you to watch out for light fingers. I was shocked my first sale at the stuff that disappeared.
Good luck. I know it’s hard especially when memories are attached! I had to do clean out sales for my parents and sister. My garage is stuffed full of boxes of things I haven’t been able to part with. One of these day I will go through it again!
UF,
Reading your post pains me somewhat & I have empathy when it comes to the thought of parting with stuff. I lost everything I owned in a Hurricane including house & contents–along with five loved ones since then.. Loss seems to be recurring theme with me. But, sometimes needed to allow you to move forward. Grief is a powerful & strengthening process.
I have held onto my stuff for dear life that I’ve accumulated since then– hoarder style. I have just learned that I will have to move out of state & downsize thus embark on garage/moving sale very soon as well. The thought of it paralyzes me. But, I know it can’t be as bad as the other losses. And having positive outlook onto future possibilities after purging is helpful. The memories WILL be with you, and I will be waiting to hear of your success on here for strength to do the same and perhaps setup/pricing tips, too!
I do enjoy reading your posts often. Wanted to offer my support & tell you your feelings are valid; that you are not alone in them.
Sorry if my post is weird & long. Felt need to reach out to you.
Best of luck to you! Sending good thoughts your way!
I drink sparkling real spring water (as in, gathered from a pipe coming out of the ground) which I carbonate with a Sodastream. If I want flavor, lately I’ve been adding homemade Lime Cordial cause Rose’s is full of disgusting artificial ingredients and colors.
I want to go back to the 1960’s clothing. Well, the geometric patterns and bold colors, anyway. I think I a tad too old for mini skirts but I love the big sunglasses and the A-line shifts (just about 6″ to the length). I think it’s campy and fun. It’s all of the current style of anything goes but without all the blatant nudity. One thing to show one’s thighs and another to have that lace nothingness over your ass and nipples and call it fashion.
Other than that, I’m a huge fan of old movies and I drool over Edith Head costuming. Loved Grace Kelly’s clothes, well in just about every movie she’s done, but especially in “Rear Window”. Love! The 1940’s would be my next favorite fashion era.
Well…..sorry TT, I didn’t plant any tomatoes! I’ve never had luck growing them! I did however get the my flowers planted in my my gardens! I even fertilized! It feels good to have it all done before Mother’s Day!
jrleaguer…..good vibes and prayers being sent your way…..I love these random acts of kindness stories!
I love Channel! Love the 60’s and love to get dressed for special events! I do NOT wear panty hose, they make me itch.
On any given weekday, I wear comfortable clothing, like yoga pants or jeans, as I do not have to dress for the office when I go to work. It’s nice to be. Comfy at work (Lucky).
Speaking of green, I LOVE green tea 😀 love it. love it. My bf thinks I’m crazy for drinking it bland, but I like the taste of it. Trader Joe’s has a good box of organic green tea — I’ve tried a lot of organic greens, and this one is good. Cheap, too. All the wonderful health benefits you hear about consuming it are absolutely true. I’ve been a devout sipper since 2012 and I always feel great 🙂
My favorite looks are Classic Lauren Bacall 1940’s soft tailored shirts and fitted pants and Ralph Lauren always. Since I live on the Carolina coast, the cashmere and chunky sweaters work for about 15 minutes in February. The rest of the year it’s either bright summer dresses and sandals or black jeans and sweaters or maybe a jacket. Accessories every day…a gold charm bracelet, an old twisted ivory bangle, Atlas earrings, my grandfather’s cameo ring, trash and treasures. Favorite color: Tiffany blue.
TT I bought a tomato plant and now it calls for snow on Sunday! I think it will kill it 🙁
I love hot tea. It is something I drink daily. I am not a fan of green tea. It leaves kind of a nadty taste in my mouth and tastes like celery to me kind of and I hate celery.
Is there anyone out there that has any legal knowledge concerning custody hearings in the state of Arkansas? Not necessarily wanting advise just needing to pick someone, anyone’s brain. We live in NC and my husband has a daughter in Arkansas that has been pitched from pillar to post because of her mother having drug issues. Court date is mid June and I’m starting to freak out. Don’t mean to be so heavy in the thread but it’s been a crappy few days concerning this and I just don’t know how to settle myself down any more.
TT, I’m sorry if I have over stepped, if I have please feel free to delete this post, I will understand.
TT, thank you so much for being you and fowlling your heart concerning your blog. You have created a vast internet family via this blog and I just can’t express my apprection adequately for all the time and energy you put into to it for us. God bless you and Banjo!
The American Bar Association has an attorney referral service online if you don’t get any answers. Good luck….it has to be such a helpless feeling especially with her so far away 🙁
Thanks cawoman, I guess I should have added to my post that he does have a lawyer. I’m just beginning to feel very anxious because he is in AR and it’s really hard to get a feel for a persons ability when you can’t just drop in a check things out for yourself. He came highly recommended and I’m sure he wouldn’t still be in the business if he wasn’t successful . I guess my fears are that she (mother) is such a cold person that she has been able to get away with a lot the last 11 years. The mother was in his life before I met my husband. She got pregnant and one day was gone, he never new. She never even told him it was over just vanished without a trace. One evening 18 months ago I’m on social media catching up and find someone had sent me a private message, it read ” you don’t know me, but I knew your husband 9 years ago. I’m not trying to cause trouble in your marriage, but I have to right a wrong that I did against him. I can’t live with this lie and I feel like he deserves to know the truth.” So I thought , hmmmmm lets just check this chick out. I click on her picture it goes straight to her page and on her news feed is a photo of a little girl that looks just like my husband and his other two daughters. I was gobsmacked! Not because she existed but because a woman kept a secret and cheated a father and daughter out of at the time eight years. He never held her as a baby, never saw her take her first step, missed her first day of kindergarten, heavens I could go on and on with all they missed in each other’s lives. When I let him see the message and then showed him her picture my heart broke, I had never seen him cry before, that night he did , a lot . When he finally composed himself a couple of days later he responded to the mother. She was oh so sugary sweet and soooo sorry for what she had done and said she wanted to make amends for it all. Without even a DNA my sweet husband drove 13 hours 2 weeks later to meet this little girl. When he pulled into her drive she came running out hugged him around the waist and asked ” are you gonna be my daddy forever?” At that moment he was heartbroken because he knew nothing about this child, didn’t even know for sure if she was his. Long story short we found out through 2 men that mom had been married to, one of them twice. One is a felon fresh out of prison, the other is an alcoholic by his own words fighting demons everyday. When my husband started asking questions around town, the town being Evening Shade, Ar it seems she has quite the appetite for men and drugs. To see her is to automatically think along those lines, she has that meth look. It’s not about winning, it’s about what is best for his daughter. He forced a DNA test and sure enough she is his daughter. That was last March. My man even sent money to show good faith that he was not going to be a “deadbeat father” before the results. After the reaults mother allowed him to get her for the summer, she was in our home all of 1 week, mom called didn’t like the fact that the child was not miserable 24 hours after talking to the child the mother was knocking on our door at 9:30 at night telling my husband that he had no rights to her legally and she was taking her. She did just that ! But not before she called the cops on us because I firmly escorted her off my front porch after she told me not to worry about any of her things, we could mail the child’s belongings back to her . When the cops showed up of course they told him he had no rights and that he would have to go to court. Before they left my smart honey told the cops they might want to check to see if the man she had brought to our home was on probation, sure enough he was and was taken into custody for violating his 8 years of probation. Now she won’t answer the phone when he calls the child, she won’t respond to texts . His daughter shared with him that every time mommy gets a new boyfriend she gets a new daddy. God ! I will never understand why or how women can do that to children. It’s all such a big mess and I’m feeling helpless. I have pulled so much stuff off social media that she has posted pics and 2 different marriages since 2013 of which she has now divorced. I really don’t ever desire to take a child from a mother but my husband and his daughter deserve to know each other.
Sorry for such a long post but somethings can’t be summed up in a couple of paragraphs.
Thanks for the advise on the support group I hadn’t thought of that.
Kate62,
I’m sad to read all this. Unfortunately, it sounds like you are going to be in a very uphill battle if your objective is to remove her from her mother. Your husband should have involved the courts and established formal support and visitation orders prior to the visit that went horribly wrong. Getting the new boyfriend arrested was a huge mistake on your husband’s part. It is now going to cost you exponentially more money in fees to force her to cooperate with future visitation orders. Unfortunately, family law in this country requires massive burden of tangible evidence of actual abuse to remove children of a certain age from a primary custodian. I would imagine that your husband’s lawyer would have told him this already, unless you’re withholding details of evidence of abuse and/ or neglect? Revolving door of daddies is not legal abuse/ neglect, BTW, no matter how appalling. Good luck. Prepare yourselves for the worst. Check the age that children can influence the judge where they want to be in AR. I would think around age 10-13, she could tell a judge where she wants to live/ visit, but don’t cause any more trouble for her mom in the meantime.
Kate62, Love2hate had some good points, if a bit harsh. Let’s face it – even if the new boyfriend hadn’t been arrested, it’s likely you would have ended up in this situation anyway. Your husband would get to see her when the mother wanted a vacation. As soon as she discovered that her daughter was happy in your home, she pulled her out. That’s your signal that she wasn’t going to be cooperative in the long run!
Hopefully her facebook is open, or your husband knows someone who has full access. If the attorney hasn’t told you, facebook is fair game for courts and has helped a lot of cases. I would take screen shots of any photo that looks like alcohol or drugs was involved. Same thing with any posts that sound iffy. (Hopefully the attorney has already done this!) Has the attorney checked to see if she has an arrest record? It’s fortunate that you have the message from her admitting that she hid the child from him for all these years. The fact that she waited so long may mean that what she really wanted was financial gain and a child-free summer vacation.
I hate seeing innocent children in these situations. Good luck. The girl is lucky to have a concerned father and step-mother 🙂
~Susan
I was just thinking….has your husband contacted a men’s support group of any sort? A support group in AK might have a list of recommended attorneys who have experience in custody cases.
I read every week but have rarely posted.
Today I went to the plastic surgeon with my mother to discuss the plan for her reconstruction surgery after a bilateral mastectomy for Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC). She’s 56. She’s strong willed and stubborn and the entire reason I am who I am. Our relationship is far from perfect and sometimes not close at all. Since I heard the news, the main emotion that has washed over me is unabashed love for her. All I want is for her to recover and be there for her grandchildren. Now we talk everyday and I drive two hours one way to appointments and will be living at the hospital and her house after the surgery and recovery. And in 8 weeks, I’ll be there to help her pick out a wig and just be with her during chemo.
Cancer sucks and is scary as hell. But sometimes, it reminds you what family and love is all about.
Best wishes for her continued recovery!
@UrethaF, have plenty of $1 & $5’s, need more than you think. Keep money o. Your person unless you a friend to keep a watch on cash box.
$2.00 is cheap for a book, I’ld $2.50 or 5 books for$10.00 AFTER noon. Don’t sell cheap to early.
There will be a few thieves, keep good stuff on a table nearby. No checks at all!!
No one goes into your home.
Do not leave your area early on.
I won’t be doing the “garage sale” at my home. Deed restrictions in my neighborhood prohibits garage sales.This is a civic club coordinated community garage sale for the entire subdivison held in a church parking lot. We paid $60 to rent 2 parking spots to set up & sell; and it shuts down at 12 NOON. So I have only a 4 hour period to sell.
Thanks for all the suggestions. Please keep ’em coming.
I didn’t think about having a bunch of small bills for change, and thanks for reminding me about the fucking thieves. I might bring a steel crowbar & some crazy eyes as a deterrent. Just because it’s cheap, doesn’t mean I won’t get pissed if you steal it.
I do have high end designer stuff (Gucci, Bottega Veneta, Prada, Kenneth Cole accessories) but now I have decided not to sell them at this venue. I might just sell my fancy shit on a facebook group instead.
UF, I replied to you earlier further above ^^ but think I hit wrong reply button. Anyway, you might also try high end consignment shops for your designer stuff.
Good luck!
Thank You I.Just.Can’t!
I saw your heartfelt & helpful post.
People at garage sales want things cheap! For the “better” items, try Craigslist and/or E Bay. E Bay is a good source to determine what others are selling like items for. I did a yard sale last year, I had a 10 yo Dyson Animal vacuum that people offered me a max of $10 – $15 at the yard sale. I did not take it (it was in good working condition). I sold it on Craigslist for $60 in 2 days. I have made $300 to $400 at a well stocked yard sale. Good Luck!
Bring lots of plastic grocery bags for purchases. Put clothing on wire hangers cuz customers will want nice hangers. Put up an ‘all sales final’ sign. Keep your money in a fanny pack. If you have any electrical items, find out where there might be a testing outlet. Bring at least one friend. Check for pricing guides…you’re pretty much in line. We wanna know how you did!
@UF … also call a donation service organization. It’s usually free. Have them pick up left over stuff you don’t want at 4:00, that way it is gone. What is left is usually stuff you don’t need either.
Yes, good luck, UF, but be prepared that people at those sales really do want stuff cheap…or free, as in a five finger discount (church parking lot or not)