By Lady Cocotte
The girls enter the workroom in their ugly dress regalia. All that’s left of Miss Fame is her message on the mirror: ”Continue to inspire. You are incredible! I love you. FAME.” Violet Chachki moans that she’s going to miss Miss Fame and makes a stink face when the other girls don’t share her sentiments. Violet goes on a talking head rant about how wonderful Miss Fame is. It’s really funny to hear Violet being so positive for once but Miss Fame was the only one who really reached out to her. And Violet thinks they forged a real friendship. Maybe they have. Who am I to judge? Then the snarky Violet comes back: “There are Queens here who are less deserving than she is.” Camera pans to Trixie Mattel. Shading editing at work.
Congrats go to Ginger Minj for the win. She feels really proud to have won the Divine challenge in particular. Ginger asks Pearl how it felt when Miss Fame threw her under the bus. Pearl does a cute version of the “Pearl knows what I’m talking about”/“Uh, no I don’t” from last week. She used her anger at being called out to push her performance in the lip-sync. It worked. Violet talks about how close she was to having to lip-sync. Ginger Minj agrees. “Violet should be very grateful that her Lisa Frank couture kept her from being in the bottom two this week because her performance was abysmal.” Lisa Frank couture! Oh, Ginger, you slay me.
The next day girls are back in the workroom, as boys. They start finding notes from Miss Fame. “Pearl: I love you. See you in New York City.” Pearl scoffs. But in reality, the girls usually get over their beefs when they see their former competitors out on the real world. There’s something about being in the pressure cooker of a competition that brings out the claws. Back home, things are usually different. The rest of the girls read their notes, all very sweet. But you can tell who Miss Fame’s bestie was. “Violet, you are perfect.” Yep, the love was reciprocated. RuPaul’s “she done already done had herses” message cuts the love-fest short. “If you can’t love yourself, switch partners.”
The mini-challenge has the girls giving themselves plastic surgery… using scotch tape! Then they’ll shoot their opening tagline for “The Fake Housewives of RuPaul’s Drag Race.” I love it when my worlds collide! The girls seem excited but they only have 20 minutes to alter their faces, paint and dress so they start tearing around the workroom in a panic. It’s fun to see them play with tape like little kids. Violet Chachki pulls her nose up and looks startlingly different. Katya is almost entirely covered in tape. As Ginger Minj explains, “She is serving Herman Munster realness.” Kennedy Davenport only has tape at her hairline. I don’t think she understands the challenge. Maybe she never played with tape as a child.
And time is up! Masterqueef Theatre presents… Pearl: “Some people call me a slut but I’m also an alcoholic.” Kennedy Davenport: “I may not be the best cookie in the cookie jar but at least I taste good.” She’s pulling her face tight. I think she realizes she didn’t use enough tape. Violet Chachki: “When times get tough, I just breathe though my nose.” Violet’s look is freaking me out. Ginger Minj: “The secret to success is being god’s favorite. Shhhh!” Ginger is working the jesus jugs angle. Trixie: “How do I sleep at night? Ask your husband.” It took me a minute to recognize Trixie so good job, girl. Katya: “What’s the best part about being married to a sociopath? The constant threat of danger keeps you so thin!” She looks pretty scary herself.
RuPaul announces Violet as the winner. Trixie adds her own opinion. “The winner is… Kelly Mantle.” Yes! That’s why she looks so familiar.
The maxie-challenge is a dance competition where they’ll do mash-ups like the Tango/Vogue, the Charleston/Twerk and the Country/Robot. “And there’s just one more little detail…” They have to dress in 1/2 man, 1/2 Queen drag. “Think Dr Jekyll and Mrs Hide-your-candy.” The girls look terrified. And they should be. Not only will they paint 1/2 of their face, they need to make outfits to go along with the look.
As the mini-challenge winner, Violet Chachki gets to pick the teams. She chooses Katya as her partner. Katya is not pleased but it’s hard to tell with all that tape on her face. They certainly are an interesting duo. Violet is smart. Katya is very talented and she wants to win. She puts Ginger Minj and Trixie Mattel together (again) which leaves Kennedy Davenport and Pearl as the last team. Trixie is annoyed to be paired with Ginger. “I can sew and I can dance and she can’t.” I think it goes a little deeper than that, though. She knows that Ginger usually overshadows her partners. It happened to Trixie last episode. I want Trixie to stick around a bit longer so I hope this doesn’t put her at a disadvantage.
Katya and Violet Chachki will dance the Tango/Vogue. Katya asks Violet if she can tango and gets a no. “It’s, like, Spanish?” Katya is worried about her partner’s ability. Trixie Mattel and Ginger Minj get the Country/Robot. Trixie starts two stepping while Ginger is frozen in fear. Ginger really can’t dance and Trixie seems exhausted before they’ve even begun. Ginger suggests they do the only dance she knows: the electric slide. She gives her partner a demonstration. Trixie doesn’t even laugh. This is going to be a tough one for these two. RuPaul stops by to check on the girls and I catch a quick glimpse of some 1/2 body suit, 1/2 tuxedos the producers must have supplied. Whew! It’s still going to be hard to add 1/2 a dress to that but it’s doable (I couldn’t imagine how the girls would have time to make their own menswear).
RuPaul asks Kennedy Davenport and Pearl about their dance experience. Pearl claims she’s good with choreography but she’s not very convincing. As Kennedy says, “Choreographed dance and dancing in the clubs is definitely two different things.” Unlike the other teams, Kennedy is giving Pearl the benefit of the doubt that her personality will pull through even if her dancing isn’t up to snuff. RuPaul asks team Country/Robot what they’re not looking forward to with this challenge. Ginger Minj is concerned that they’ll be performing live so she won’t get any do-overs. Trixie is worried that Ginger will outshine her again (I knew it). Trixie seems strangely subdued, which doesn’t bode well. RuPaul feels the weird vibes and moves on to team Tango/Vogue. Violet Chachki informs Ru that she is an aerial performer. RuPaul brings up her problem with timing in the last episode but Violet assures him that she’ll work it out. RuPaul hears that a lot and it always drives him crazy. He calls them “famous last words.” Violet responds, “Well, I already said them once so I’m still here so…” Katya is nervously biting her lip but she’s smart enough to keep her mouth shut. In her talking head, Katya admits, “Violet, she’s sexy as hell but she has to bring something else.”
RuPaul announce that the girls will be rehearsing with Kym Johnson from Dancing with the Stars. Carson Kressley, a former contestant on that show, will be helping. Team Charleston/Twerk (Kennedy Davenport and Pearl) are the first to practice. When they arrive, Kym and Carson are dancing together and it sounds like Carson is telling Kym what to do. Which is hysterical. Apparently 5 episodes of a reality show means more than years of dance training. All righty then. Kennedy tells Kym that she can do the splits, flips, etc. And then she does a flip. In heels! Pearl doesn’t let it get to her that she can’t perform as well as Kennedy (I love this new Pearl). She plans to give the judges the energy they’ve been asking for. And then she falls asleep on screen. Carson, the professional dancer, is annoyed when Pearl isn’t serious about the choreography. Pearl tries but you can tell by the flailing limbs that she isn’t a dancer. And then they get to the twerk. Pearl has never twerked. Kennedy has some advice. “If you can’t twerk, child, then shake your legs.” Kennedy is being really nice to Pearl but Pearl just can’t twerk. Hell, we’re not all Miley Cyrus (or someone who actually twerks).
Kym Johnson brings in a Voguing expert for team Tango/Vogue. I’d think most Queens are familiar with the Vogue but they’re given actual choreography. Kym apologizes for it being simple and both Violet Chachki and Katya disagree. Katya is freaked out. “It’s a lot. It seems really, really complicated.” Violet seems to be doing the steps backwards. Carson encourages them to keep breathing and that it will come. Violet is getting frustrated but she works thru it. Carson asks, “Katya, is that terror or confusion on your face?” “A little bit of both,” she admits. Kym and Carson think team Tango/Vogue will either be great or a total disaster. Team Country/Robot is next and you can see the worry on Ginger Minj’s face. “Lord be with me!” Trixie Mattel seems to get the choreography quickly but Ginger is floundering. Watching Ginger do the Robot is pretty funny. Ginger is holding up well but once again Trixie looks checked out. Or exhausted. Either way I’m nervous for her. They decide that Trixie is going to lift Ginger. Trixie feels confident. “I do yoga.” She thinks it will impress the judges. And then she drops Ginger.
The next morning, Ginger admits that she didn’t sleep at all the night before. “I was literally up all night doing the Robot. I have no clue what I’m doing.” Trixie slumps down into her chair. Don’t give up, Trixie. She tries to give Ginger a pep talk. Ginger is determined to do her best. She doesn’t want to go home and she doesn’t want to set Trixie up for failure. Violet Chachki and Katya have a nice moment together. Violet talks about how challenging the choreography is. Katya admits that she was nervous to work with Violet but that it’s been really fun. “Yeah, I’m trying to be nice.” “Why start now?” Ginger Minj asks. Violet shoots her the side eye.
The guest judges are comedienne Rachael Harris and Alyssa Milano (who is always pregnant, for some reason). Dance Expert Carson Kressley is also on hand to critique (it’s Ross Matthews’ turn in the basement dungeon). RuPaul isn’t serving 1/2 man, 1/2 Queen drag but she does wear a dance outfit that transforms, a little.
One side of Pearl looks lovely in red and then she turns and there’s a really handsome man attached. She alternates covering each side of her face to accentuate the difference. “For my masculine side I painted on more beard than I’m capable of growing.” She has a light scruff. Kennedy Davenport looks like Phaedra Parks in a pink fringe dress and then we see her boy side looking like Nene Leakes’ son Bryson. It’s a really bizarre combination, to say the least. Trixie Mattel is dressed as a cowgirl. And a cowboy. You can take the girl out of drag but she still walks like a girl. “I’m giving them hoe-down instead of that ho fell down.” Ginger Minj is wearing a fringed denim outfit on one side and a beard on the other. Violet Chachki looks like a gorgeous Señorita. Her partner on the other side is very dashing with an elegant mustache. “I nailed the look but what else is new?” I’d like to smack her for that but it’s true. So very true. Katya is also dressed ready for the tango. “One one side I’m giving you Flamenco flapper and on the other side I’m giving you her abusive boyfriend.” And she really pulls it off.
First to dance are Kennedy Davenport and Pearl doing the Charleston/Twerk. They’re really cute and lively. It’s fun to see the female side of Kennedy dance with the male side of Pearl and vice versa. The only awkward point is Pearl’s bent legs in the spin but they’re much better than expected. Pearl even motorboats Kennedy’s boobs. The Twerk music is Big Freedia (I believe) who should really be a judge sometime. Kennedy is doing the splits and Pearl is making it rain. A good use of talents. And they’re back to the Charleston. This isn’t easy choreography. Pearl loses a few steps but she keeps her energy strong. Kennedy shows her how to work those legs.They did 3 rounds of Charleston with 2 of the Twerk. I’m really quite impressed.
Trixie Mattel starts the Country/Robot by swigging from a bottle like a man. Ginger Minj, the girlfriend, is angry and tells him off. Trixie sweeps Ginger off her feet, not very smoothly I might add, and they begin stepping. Ginger is good with character but the dancing is really awkward. They move into the Robot and then back to Country. I have to say that Trixie is just as stiff as Ginger, sometimes even more so. Pretty surprising. The Robot moves are weird. Couldn’t they have thought of something better than the Robot? I’m pretty much waiting for this one to end. Oh good, Ginger hits Trixie over the head with the bottle. And it’s over.
Violet Chachki and Katya are in perfect character for their Tango/Vogue. Violet is showing her long, long legs while Katya looks pretty butch. Yeah, I’m surprised too. They handle the choreography very smoothly. And it’s time for the Vogue. Interesting music choice. I’m not crazy about the choreography. They’re very disconnected instead of battling each other. The Tango is fun to watch. They each play the male/female parts well, which is challenging considering it depends on what side they’re facing. Katya looks a fool Voguing until she drops into the splits. With a final bit of Tango they’re done. Definitely the most enjoyable of the three.
Carson Kressley thinks Pearl is a good-looking guy and girl. Alyssa Milano thinks her stiffness helped during the Charleston but hurt her during the Twerking. The judges give Pearl props for her energy so her plan worked. While Carson thinks Kennedy Davenport looked laid-back, Alyssa thinks she looked effortless. Pearl sends her air-kisses. Michelle Visage likes Trixie Mattel’s runway look and Carson thinks she did the Country dancing well (not so much on the Robot, though). Michelle loves Ginger Minj’s attempt to butch it up. Carson throws in, “I coached her.” Har dee har har. The judges think that joke was hysterical. I guess I’m just not in a Carson mood tonight. Michelle thinks Ginger’s dancing was off. “Not that you were bad.” Ginger gets emotional about how hard it was. “My biggest fear is dancing in public because I feel like people are going to judge me poorly for the way I look and the way things jiggle.” Ginger doesn’t often show her insecurity about being a big girl. Alyssa assures her that none of that came thru in her performance. The first thing Michelle compliments Katya about is her black hair, a new look for her. Rachael Harris likes her Queen look. “And then, when you turned, and I mean this as a compliment, it was very, like hot douchey guy.” Katya is overjoyed. It’s a huge challenge for Draq Queens to play butch. Alyssa calls Violet a work of art. “I kind of want to be you. Is that weird?” Carson compliments her Tango technique (because he’s the dance expert, in case you didn’t know).
I’m having a hard time figuring out who is top and bottom tonight. Now that there are so few girls, the judges are having a hard time, too. RuPaul lets them know that he’s judging them as teams. Trixie Mattel shoots a scared look at Ginger Minj. This is getting serious.
Katya and Violet Chachki (team Tango/Vogue) are the winners! Katya always gets so genuinely excited when she wins. I don’t think she realizes how great she is. Violet, on the other hand, knows exactly how amazing she is but it’s justified so I can’t really complain. Good job ladies, and gents.
LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE
The two Queens up for elimination are Trixie Mattel and Ginger Minj. They perform Show Me Love by Robin S. Ginger Minj is ready to lip-sync for her life. It seems like Trixie Mattel gave up before the maxi-challenge so things look dire for our girl. Ginger is living the song. Trixie is trying but she’s not really in it. It’s not a fair fight because Trixie can’t get over herself. Trixie is doing big movements but they’re empty of emotion. Trixie doesn’t realize but Ginger plunges between her open legs and Trixie stumbles. Ginger is giving it her all. The whole judging panel is turned towards Ginger. Ginger Minj, shantay, you stay. Trixie Mattel, sashay away.
Next week: We get Hello Kitty and the return of Santino Rice. And don’t forget to watch Untucked, available every Tuesday. You can watch this week’s episode right here on TamaraTattles.com !