I wish I had friends that buy champagne and lay out great spreads with fresh cut flowers for me to drop by to discuss bad dinner parties from the night before. This time it is Reza hosting Asa to discuss Jessica. I’m team Asa, always. MJ arrives and everyone agrees that Mike is guilty. Okay, fine. But really? They have been pushing this “dramatic” storyline for so long take I was expecting a rape arrest or a sex tape or both. Not some high school story about “he tried to come on to me.” Hell, guys try to come on to girls everyday. Even me and I am the poster child for “Letting Yourself Go.” It is what guys do. As a wise woman once said, “I can get dick on the way to my mailbox.” But please discuss this amongst the three of you and pick a side. Reza has decided not to invite Mike to the wedding. I assume this means that Jessica didn’t want to go to Thailand.
GG and MJ are off to talk to a taxidermist about her dead dog. This cannot be real. There are 100s of dead stuffed animals in his little business. GG asks if they were all alive before. The cat is terrifying. They explain to MJ that they really just skin the dog and throw the guts away and wrap the fur around a base. I am going to zip through this now. Banjo does not need to hear this. He is already made because we are out of wet dog food.
Mike and Jessica go out to dinner. Jessica informs Mike of their two year timeline. Married by December, pregnant by June. Then the topic moves on to dinner with the others. Jessica is not open to discussing it.
Asa and Adam get together to plan his bachelor party. While MJ and Reza plan theirs. Adam wants the party to be together with Reza. Reza does not. Reza wants to let Adam pretend they are going to do theirs together, and then have a secret party that Adam doesn’t know about. MJ says that Asa can’t come to the secret one. Reza is already cheating on Adam before the wedding.
Asifa is having a 70s Bollywood Birthday Bash. Are we supposed to believe that Bobby got her that huge diamond necklace? Because we don’t. If it is real, it’s a loaner if it is a gift, it is paste. Everyone dresses in Bollywood costume with varying degrees of success. Reza has a two foot afro. GG has a rocking body. Mike and Jessica are not coming because of GG. Bobby and Asifa really don’t get along. Reza ruins Asifa’s party and her outfit with a cake fight. Who does that?
GG has a date with a new man. Danny is really cute and has ZERO tattoos. GG is terrible with first impressions. She is ordering drinks and saying, “whiskey makes me frisky.” GG is coming on too strong. And drinking too much. And harassing families. Then she blacks out. While blacked out she says they need to go to bed. He says they need to call it a night. He seems very forgiving like he might call again.
MJ has a funeral for Pablo, who it appears she decided to have cremated. Sammy is there! Asa wears a Chanel Fedora with a veil. Mike arrives with his dog. That dog drives all the other dogs nuts. At least he left the dog he is engaged to at home. Vida is there. This does seem like all of MJ’s friends.
Reza confronts Mike at the funeral because he wanted to talk to him when he was not super emotional. You know, like when your BFF is holding a funeral for her beloved dog and has just given a eulogy. Oh wait. Reza is mad at Mike for how Jessica acted at the dinner.
GG and Mike argue. I can’t even explain what they are arguing about. Mike interrupts to uninvited Mike to the wedding. He says he doesn’t want Jessica there. She hates him and weddings are for friends. Reza tells Adam they are living.
Next week: The bachelor party happens. Reza and Mike fight more. And Asifa and Bobby have a big blow up.
Frickin Reza. Seriously, he’s PLANNING on cheating ON TELEVISION. Because Gd forbid that he look beyond his wants and needs and take anyone else’s into account.
Everything has to be made about him, even a dogs funeral.
His narcissism is disgusting, even by lowered reality show standards. I used to think Stassi was the most self absorbed person on Bravo, but at least people actually hold her accountable for her actions.
Jessica gets points for not falling for Reza’s crap.
I agree with you Xanadue.
So true!
Dude, it’s ON TV. It’s not like he doesn’t tell Adam the storyline.
On Mon, May 4, 2015 at 10:30 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Reza makes me cranky. I don’t think I should watch Shahs before bedtime.
If we were just taking this season at its face value, knowing they have plotlines,etc, it’d be one thing. But, Reza, taken as a whole and based on his past action on and off camera, is just douche squared.
I just don’t get how he has any friends. Like, what redeeming qualities does the guy have? I’m not watching SoS this season, mainly because I can’t stomach Reza.
Amen.
Jessica has terrible people skills and curses too much. She starts off by telling Mike’s friends she’s only here for Mike, she doesn’t give a fuck about any of them at all. Ok, Jessica what’s the point ? Youv’e just alienated everyone now, so they have zero zilch incentive to try to know you. You came for what end? To show your hatred? I agree with Asa when she said to Jessica, you just like to fight. The way Jessica communicates ,she turns a discussion into a giant shitfest.
If I were Jessica I would ignore the whole damn thng. Limit how often you see these people and call it a day. If your husband to be is determined to hang with this group, and you want to be with him, you should fake it. To tell him youre going for him, and then verbally attack everyone in a destructive hateful way ,is passive agressive.bait and switch. You went there to go off on people you dont like and dont intend to hav a relationshipv with and burned your bridges. You did not support Mike whov still considers them his friends.
If I had to be in the same room with a man who routinely refers to me as a “bitch” and a “ho,” I’d probably turn it into a fight as well.
I’m becoming more pro-Jessica each week. I think she may actually be the only person on the show who isn’t a self centered narcissist (I said MIGHT-she’s still signed on for a “reality” show, so the ego is obviously there). This includes Asa, who at this point is veering more and more into “holier than thou” condescension territory- it’s as if she hangs with these people knowing they will make her look good and allow her to tut-tut and offer sage advice from Mt. Diamond Water, like an Iranian Oprah.
Asa doesn’t need to disrespect herself to be on a reality show. She’s on one and not going anywhere and has at least two new businesses because of it.
Jessica has money and is married now to a man who wants her money bad enough to transfer his balls and golden doul to her purse in exchange for her being on a reality show. Which is all she wants. She thinks she is going to be discovered on this show.
The rest of the gang knows this, and is disgusted. Allegedly.
On Tue, May 5, 2015 at 12:30 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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TT. ⤴
I get where you are coming from Xanadude. You NEVER said Asa needs to disrespect herself. It’s her right and her choice to be on a reality show or not. I personally wouldn’t because I’m afraid of my “past” coming to surface. It’s not like being in a movie or TV show – it’s reality TV which is a whole other ball game. But yes, Asa overdoes it with the “holier than thou” attitude. Anything that is overdone, is just plain annoying. I’ve known people like her who INTENTIONALLY hang around “screw ups” just so they can brag: “Ha! I’m superior”. It’s snobbish, condescending, stuck-up, shallow and materialistic. It’s not spiritual at all. It’s okay that she started businesses from the show too. I would, if I were in that position but the point Xanadude is trying to say is that: by saying you are humble is to NOT be humble. People can tell if you are humble and Asa isn’t. MJ said it best when she stated: “Asa likes to act like her skin is so thick” but it’s usually those people that are the MOST sensitive.
Jessica – just LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU SPEND AROUND PEOPLE YOU DON’T LIKE. Mike, you only want her money – which just proves you are lazy (like GG) and don’t want to work. I see now why Reza didn’t want to do business with you. Mike seems to be into get rich quick schemes. Jessica knows Mike had infidelities. She wants the fame, he wants her money – perfect match!
Asa can’t help that she is above this crowd. There is no need for her to be humble about that. She is genuine. That is what she needs to be. Others should try it.
On Tue, May 5, 2015 at 9:32 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Kiel, This ——–> “I’ve known people like her who INTENTIONALLY hang around “screw ups” just so they can brag: “Ha! I’m superior”. It’s snobbish, condescending, stuck-up, shallow and materialistic. It’s not spiritual at all.”
I’ve never put it into words before. Excellent writing!
Who or what raised Reza?? He makes slime feel good!! I don’t care how stupid Jessica may be I don’t blame her for hating Reza! He is the worst friend ever followed by that ass and I guess MJ will straddle a fence like everything else!
Really, it can only make me like Jessica that she doesn’t like this group of backstabbers. They just go whatever way the wind blows, no loyalty, no honesty. Horrible bunch of people and Reza is the worst of all. Any normal person would not want to be around them.
Exactly!!! I know she didn’t act right but I really think that most of her anger towards Reza has to do with how he treated mike last season and how he treated MJ! Mike is the biggest dummy on that show!
Precisely! She sees them as BACKSTABBERS, GOSSIPERS, LIARS, CHEATS, CONS. The way she approached them was way off but I get where her heart and intentions were coming from – and it was a good place. I’ve had to drop friends like this. Why should my kindness be abused?! Get rid of such people.
You seem very kind.
On Tue, May 5, 2015 at 9:34 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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If I were Jessica I would ignore the whole damn thng. Limit how often you see these people and call it a day. If your husband to be is determined to hang with this group, and you want to be with him, you should fake it. To tell him youre going for him, and then verbally attack everyone in a destructive hateful way ,is passive agressive.bait and switch. You went there to go off on people you dont like and dont intend to hav a relationshipv with and burned your bridges. You did not support Mike whov still considers them his friends.
The reverse is also true – If Mike’s friends cared about Mike, they would show more discretion and diplomacy with Jessica. Instead, they conflated the issue. I think everyone has made this issue into a sh*t show.
Maybe Jessica will learn how to “Switch the Bitch” for next season. Come to think of it, maybe she already did. Sorry for the Melbourne crossover, I couldn’t help myself.
Wtf are you kidding me? Who wastes perfectly good BIRTHDAY CAKE!?
I really don’t get the “Jessica is a fame whore/lives to be on the show/is only with mike because of it”
Wouldn’t she want as much camera time as possible? Maybe even desire to be seen as – I don’t know – some combination of educated, funny, likable, outgoing?
She’s always the first one to bolt, always the first one to refuse to go somewhere to shoot the dramatic scenes, and pretty much the only one to straight up say “fuck this show I don’t care about” whilst literally filming for the show
Unless she’s consciously trying to pull some reverse psychology ish I’m just not seeing the connection.
You’re right, you are not.
On Tue, May 5, 2015 at 3:08 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Ok so drunk Mike made a 3 am pass at GG and was so drunk that he didnt remember. Gee, scandalous. Sooooo…what is the next storyline?
Agreed. Pretty lame. So he’s a guy who likes women…wow…what a revelation. Poor GG has nothing else to offer and that’s why the big deal that made Mike look like a rapist.. She’s lucky that anyone made a pass at her.
Everybody hates Jessica. That is the next storyline.
On Tue, May 5, 2015 at 6:52 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Supposedly, GG had also been drinking that night last year w/Mike and he’s not the only one who blacked out and can’t remember. She even admitted anything could have happened at the very beginning of this season. And, it’s even more believable that she doesn’t remember all the details from that nite because of her drinking and having no memory on her ‘first date’ in this episode. Gawd, I’m so sick of this storyline – will they ever move on? ugh
I think MJ laid the Mike-Jessica situation on the table. Jessica has a plan. Jessica realizes that what GG said is true, Mike made a pass. Jessica is so set on her plan, she is not going to let anything derail it.
Sorry that Pablo died. He was like a child to MJ.
Adam is such a friggin’ doormat. Do they have a D/s relationship?
subs are not doormats.
On Tue, May 5, 2015 at 9:03 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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No surprise that GG got drunk. She’s a boring blob of blah, who has nothing to offer anyone, except sex. Waste of space. Bring back Leila. JMO
Mike, Jessica nor GiGi should be allowed within a mile of alcohol. Nothing ends well when any of them starts drinking.
I know this will sound awful but I laughed so hard during the taxidermy scene that I almost wet my pants. The dog staring down the stuffed cat was hilarious. I loved my cat and I love dogs too but that was horrendously funny. Every time I saw that dog growl at the horrible looking cat I just died. The rest of the show paled in comparison and the people on this show are damned funny. Reza is a man-whore and the only thing I give him credit for is that he admits it. Asifa and Bobby are doomed, MJ is also a great comedian and GG is so screwed up mentally that I feel sorry for her. The show is so “out there” that I consider it a comedy rather than a reality show. I also admire Asa for being so patient with here screeching mother and her smelly habits. My mother hated the smell of lamb so as an adult I considered lamb to be a luxury food…we never got to eat any because the smell made her sick. All in all I enjoyed the nonsense and also believe that the contrast between Adam’s tame ideas for his bachelor party and Reza’s whore show were well known to both. I agree that the story-lines are pre-planned and well known by all.. As for Jessica…she’s a bitch with a plan and Mike is finally getting what he deserves. Who knew that converting to being a Jew turned women into ball breaking hyennas? I was born a Jew and I never treated anyone the way Jessica treats Mike and everyone else. No where in my childhood was I taught to treat other people like peasants and men like mops that you sweep the floor with. Great recap….
I really wonder why GG is so screwed up. Her family seems nice and I know we can’t see behind the curtain so to speak but it’s clear something is very wrong.
I really liked what we saw of GG’s sister and hoped we’d see more of her on the show and her parents were interesting, too, but nothing more about them in quite a few seasons.
I don’t know either. Lots of people were on GG’s side when Leila befriended MJ but the whole thing seems off to me. That would have never happened between sisters that are close but still adds to the mystery I guess.
GG has never had to work or pay her bills…. Her father does! I believe that’s part of her problem
Well said Merilyn Zallan Ulrich
The best part of this scene for me was that Sunday morning I interviewed the owners of a new local hipster taxidermy shop !
I extremely enjoyed Reza’s comment about Jessica being a Caterpillar! LOL! He should have squashed her while he had the chance!
Does MJ own any clothes that actually fit her? She’s always squeezed into clothes at least 2 sizes too small, which makes her look even heavier. And her make up is horrendous! Who lets her put dark brown lip liner under a gloss? It’s really awful. Usually they look better in their talking heads, MJ always looks worse.
Asia and Bobby need to learn from the past, you dated & were married, and divorced. A second chance is the last thing they need.
You are evaluating MJ on an American based scale. I know MJ is American but her Iranian mother heavily influences what she thinks is attractive. Different cultures have different standards of beauty.
On Tue, May 5, 2015 at 11:01 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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That would certainly explain the garish/clownish make up. I think she also thinks she’s much thinner than she actually is, and buys her clothes accordingly. It’s unfortunate, she could look so much better! I’m always uncomfortable just looking at her in her too tight clothing, I can’t imagine how she feels actually wearing them.
I want to start a healthy discussion going: what do y’all (for all the fans of the show out there) think of MJ stating she DOES NOT want Asa at Reza’s bachelor party? Why do you think MJ does not want her there?
Can I play?
There are three primary storylines this season.
1)Mike’s Cheating ways (true) and to be exploited beyond GG soon, GG is just a segue to the closet full of bimbos.
2) MJ is jealous of Asa (true) But greatly exaggerated and both parties are complicit with the storyline.
3) Reza and Adams’ wedding. Reza plays the asshole groom with cold feet. It’s not an act.
On Tue, May 5, 2015 at 11:06 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Sounds like most are agreeing with Jessica and against GG. Now has anyone taken into consideration that knowing GG’s past, yes her delivery sucked? We know that tact and diplomacy is not her strong suit. She had watched Mike and his whorish ways make Jessica jump through all his hoops in order to try to secure a marriage proposal. Everyone knew he was cheating on her. When he runs out of excuses and is about to propose is when GG spills the beans in her screwed up way.
I think Jessica was aware of Mike’s cheating but thought she had handled it and is pissed at GG and the rest of the friends too by GG’s inclusion of them. GG just threw a monkey wrench in Jessica’s well laid plans. Between the lie detector test and Jessica screeching at them like a howler monkey, the friends believe GG and don’t want to be around Jessica.
I think the reason this won’t go away is that Mike can’t or won’t tell the truth for many reasons. GG is not saying he raped her. She’s saying he tried to have sex with her while he was with Jessica who he was supposed to be in love with and wanting to marry. If I had a boyfriend do that to me even if he didn’t succeed, I’d want to know. Maybe not exactly how it came out (but Mike provoked GG that day), but I’d want to know.
All this dysfunction by everyone on the show almost makes me feel sorry for Mike. I find myself cringing whenever I tun into this show. I don’t want to watch but I have to because I enjoy all the materialistic excess of wealth the producers arrange for display. I can’t believe these rotten beings could own such nice things. .
Mike and Jessica…breeding…creating little Mkes and Jessicas. Hell has split open like a rotten fruit and is spilling it’s poisonous seeds over us all.
Adam, spare yourself a world of “irritation”. I can’t say “pain” because I just don’t see how anyone can take Reza’s “love” seriously enough to be hurt by his vulgarity and blatant inability or unwillingness to control himself.