Kathryn wakes up on a girlfriend’s couch after partying hard at Shep’s birthday party. Thank God for mamas and nannies to take care of your kid when you don’t want to. Kathryn is pissed that Amy, Thomas’ campaign manager gets in between her and her kid’s dad and she is not allowed to speak to him directly. If this scene had really been filmed the next morning during a hangover Kathryn would not have perfect makeup and hair and she would have drunk the water.
Shep takes his mom to his new house he is building. She is going to do all the decorating. Shep was not planning on getting a stove until mama insisted. His mom is ready for him to settle down and get married.
Landon and Cameran meet for lunch. Landon needs a date for an upcoming ball. Cameran says she is taking one of her gay friends. Apparently, her husband would rather stab his eyeball with a fork than be on this show. Smart guy. The two discuss whether or not it is okay for a 22-year-old to ditch the baby for the night and go out and slam tequila shots. I am mesmerized by Cameran’s diamonds and not really following the conversation.
Thomas actually comes home for the evening to eat food from Styrofoam containers and drink tea out of Styrofoam cups. Kathryn allows this egregious breach of etiquette and endures Thomas’ talking with his mouth full. Subtitles were added to translate from Neanderthal to English. This is unacceptable. Someone needs to run both of them across the Mason-Dixon line for this display. But leave that baby. Maybe with Cameran.
Patricia is having an elegant dinner party for all men. It involves plastic toy gators all over the table and chocolate gators with the guests’ name written on them. Because, tacky. Equally as ridiculous as the plastic toys on an adult dinner table is Patricia’s use of the French word “placement” to refer to the seating arrangements. She seems to think that the word means the same in English as it does in French. In French, placement refers to investments. Apparently, Whitney hears this ridiculousness while waiting for his cue to enter the scene and asks about the “placement” as well. It really is hysterical. Patricia basically says that it is all men so that she doesn’t have to be overshadowed by a 22-year-old. The thirst, y’all, the thirst of it all.
Sadly, her lack of pedigree becomes glaringly evident as the Charlestontonians in the group begin discussing their grandpappies and when their families settled in the area. Jesus Christ I am going to have to pause for a moment. I have a bit of the vapors. Did she of eleventy billion butlers plonk down some sort of sweet potato looking thing (sans pecans! a horror of its own) in a disposable aluminum pan???? I can’t believe I just saw that on the table amongst the plastic children’s toys. Okay, I rewound the tape. We can all breathe easy. It was a silver serving dish. It just sort of looks like an aluminum pan from the top.
Thomas and Whitney have a lovers quarrel over dinner. It seems that Whitney and Kathryn are both pissed with Thomas’ campaign manager interfering in their relationship.
There is a lot of discussion about Cooper’s ball. Women are required to have an escort. This has been mentioned in three scenes now with a dramatic set up for when Thomas stands Kathryn up at the ball. Thomas does show up at the ball, he just doesn’t go pick up Kathryn first. Because, scumbag. After an hour or two of campaigning at the ball Thomas leaves. I assume to go get Kathryn who is in a stunning white gown, pacing and waiting for her man. Of course this is the talk of the ball. Whitney of course escorts his mommy to the ball. Shep is on a first date with someone who he seems interested in. Whitney makes some vulgar inquiries about her.
Hours late, Thomas and Kathryn arrive at the ball. Whitney is all over Thomas like white on rice. Thomas pretends he did nothing wrong. Kathryn is hurt. Allegedly. You can tell by the editing that this was scripted well beforehand.
Since the role of convicted felon is taken by Thomas, Craig is left to take on the role of addict. Although others on the show *cough* Shep *cough* have similar proclivities, Craig, bless his heart has no story other than his partying. He continues not to go to work. His boss calls him to his house and fires him.
Next Week: Whitney and Shep go to Craig’s parents house in Delaware. Whitney can’t wait to announce to Craig’s parents that he lost his job by partying all the time.