Guest Blog By Lady Cocotte
Jaidynn Diore Fierce is gone and no one seems to notice (“Stay Fierce! Werq that puss! I love you all xoxo Jaidynn Diore Fierce <3”). Ginger Minj talks about being on the bottom for the first time. “This was my wakeup call. Ginger, you’re better than this. Pull it together.” It really shook her. The girls welcome Trixie Mattel back. They almost sound sincere. Trixie is ready to play hard. The other girls try to shake her confidence. Katya puts it best: ”You can smell the resentment in the room just as much as you can smell Violet’s B.O.” And all of a sudden Miss Fame goes in on Pearl. Their feud has been growing over the weeks. Let’s see if it boils over…
I’m so excited about this week’s challenge that you’re going to get RuPaul’s entire “she done already done had herses” message: “Good morning, Baltimore. Having female trouble? Well, don’t be a crybaby. Because all you need to become America’s Next Drag Superstar is hairspray and polyester. Oh, and don’t forget to hide your pecker.” As any fan knows, those are all references to John Waters films. Squee! RuPaul enters the workroom in a John Waters-esque striped tee and commiserates that the girls really went thru it last week. “So listen: this is a good time to vent… officially.” Yes! The library is open. In the great tradition of the film “Paris is Burning,” the girls have to read each other and the best read wins. “Because reading is, what?” “Fundamental.” Now we get to see who is really funny and can think on their feet.
Ginger Minj starts things off, going after Trixie Mattel by comparing her to a clown fish. And then Miss Fame’s unoriginal looks. Ginger is funny but I expected that from her. Katya reads Pearl about using her shell as a your butt pad. Pearl does need some more padding. To Violet Chachki: “You keep working those corsets and maybe one day your waist size will be smaller than your IQ.” Katya, you crack me up. Violet Chachki makes a lame joke about Ginger covering her face. But she does good with Katya: “At this point you should make like your hairline and recede.” Oh, the shade. Katya laughs the loudest (good sport). Wow, Violet made me laugh twice. “Trixie Mattel, haute couture? More like haute glue.” Katya liked that one, too. Miss Fame jokes about Trixie looking like Ben Affleck (?). She turns to Katya and Katya gets nervous, not because she’s scared to be read but because she knows Miss Fame’s joke won’t be funny. And she’s right. As Kennedy Davenport explained, “Fame. She wasn’t funny. It was like… crickets.” At least she’s pretty!
Kennedy Davenport goes in on Trixie Mattel, joking that her lips look like a baboon’s ass. She calls Violet Chachki a horse and a giraffe. Somewhat true but not very funny. Trixie is up and she has a lot to prove. She jokes that Katya gets her clothes at American Apparently Not. “Ginger Minj, girl, did you ever save Carol Anne from the poltergeist in the tv?” Yes! Trixie is on a roll. She doesn’t believe the rumor that Violet took Sharon Needles’ crown (and posed naked with it, fyi). “And I don’t believe you’re taking this one, either.” Pearl makes a joke about Kennedy’s eyes be wonky and Kennedy isn’t pleased. Then Pearl tells Katya, “The saying is YOUNG, dumb and full of cum.” That one was pretty good. Pearl finally turns to RuPaul and the Queens all bust out laughing. RuPaul grabs the reading glasses. “The library is closed and Pearl, the door is over there.”
The winner is Trixie Mattel. “I’m back! Trixie Mattel has way more up her sleeve.”
The maxie-challenge is a tribute to legendary director John Waters. The girls are going to screen-test parts for a new Ru-sical based on John Waters’ most iconic scenes. #JohnWaters4Ever. RuPaul lets the girls choose their own teams. Trixie Mattel and Ginger Minj go right for each other. Kennedy Davenport runs across the room and grabs Katya. Which leaves Violet Chachki, Pearl and Miss Fame as the third group. “We didn’t choose to be in a group together,” Miss Fame explains. “We’re the remnants left after the other girls grabbed each other.”
Kennedy Davenport and Katya are doing “Cha Cha Heels” from the film Female Trouble. Katya wants to be Dawn Davenport because it’s a bigger part and “I see opportunities to go over the top.” Kennedy isn’t sure Katya can handle the singing involved. Katya starts singing and we understand where Kennedy is coming from (girl can’t sing). Katya tries, and she’s definitely creating a character, but it’s rough.
Violet Chachki, Pearl and Miss Fame are team “Poo,” inspired by John Waters’ Pink Flamingos (you know, the one where Divine eats real dog feces). Miss Fame is playing “bad” Divine and Pearl is “good” Divine, like the angel and devil on Violet’s shoulders. Violet is making some good Divine faces but Pearl and Miss Fame are challenged by their characters. And they’re arguing. Violet tries to keep them on track but you can tell that the other girls just want to be right. Sigh. Miss Fame can’t let them get thru anything without overthinking it and arguing. And Pearl isn’t giving an inch. These two need to just rumble and get it over with.
When RuPaul joins team “Cha Cha Heels,” Katya tells her that Kennedy Davenport will be playing Dawn. Kennedy explains how Katya originally wanted the Dawn role but they realized they had to switch. Smart choice, ladies… RuPaul tries to stir the pot by mentioning that the judges thought Kennedy was too “pageant-y” last week. This challenge should force her out of her comfort zone. “This is another opportunity for me to display a different side of me. So, there’s no pageant here, baby!”
Ginger Minj and Trixie Mattel are team “Eggs,” also from Pink Flamingos. RuPaul wants to know if they’re familiar with John waters’ work. When she was younger, Ginger convinced her grandmother that Pink Flamingos was a children’s movie. What a minx! I don’t think she had any choice but to be a Drag Queen after that. As RuPaul explains, Divine WAS the first Drag Superstar. And since this is the musical challenge, Ru asks if Ginger and Trixie sing. They’re both singers (probably part of the reason they chose each other for this challenge). RuPaul thinks this is going to be a breeze for them. “No,” Trixie bluntly states. “We’re going to top our own expectations of ourselves.” “Neither of us have ever topped anything before,” Ginger adds. RuPaul is excited to see their scene. They’re definitely the frontrunners going into the challenge.
RuPaul informs the girls that Michelle Visage and Lucian Piane are going to direct the scenes. And that tomorrow’s runway theme is “ugliest dress EVER.” Miss Fame looks nervous. She doesn’t know how to do ugly, does she? RuPaul wishes the girls luck. “And by all means, f*** it up!”
First to film is team “Cha Cha Heels.” Kennedy Davenport is rocking the Divine makeup and some extra padding. Katya looks like a white trash mess. Perfect for the scene. Lucian Piane encourages them to have fun and go as crazy as they can. Our Lady J is accompanying them on keyboard. Her face looks plumper than usual. I hope she’s not using fillers. Maybe she’s preggers. Kennedy has a good singing voice but she’s not really giving me Divine. Katya, on the other hand, is performing like the rent is due. Kennedy starts stumbling over her lines. Lucian asks her, “Why are you so scared right now?” “I’m not scared,” Kennedy answers. “It’s just the live people are throwing me off.” Our Lady J snickers. Yeah, not very professional. Lucian is annoyed. Michelle Visage asks them to give her one full take. “We’ll be taking the tree down this time.” Kennedy gives a slightly bigger performance but then stops short. Katya looks stunned. “She supposed to drop this Christmas tree down on me as the big final gag and then… she forgets?” Oops.
Team “Eggs” is up next. Trixie Mattel does a fabulous job combining her Trixie look with Divine’s iconic makeup. Ginger Minj looks exactly like Edith Massey, Divine’s egg-loving mother Edie from Pink Flamingos. Trixie is determined to show the judges she deserves to be here. She starts singing and she has the look but it seems like she’s holding back on the character. If you’re going to do Divine, you have to go BIG. Ginger is killing me, though. She obviously knows this character and isn’t afraid to emote. Lucian Piane compliments both of them on their singing but doesn’t think they have the characters right. In particular, he thinks Ginger is playing it too sweet. “Sweet?” she huffs in her talking head. “Bitch, have you met me?” Ok, now I see what he meant. Both girls really amp it up and it’s hysterical. Even Lucian and Michelle Visage are cracking up. I was just about to say Trixie feels a little flat and Michelle stopped them with the same comment. “This is a John Waters film. Bigger!” Trixie looks scared. Ginger advises, “Take that criticism and apply it as much as you applied glitter to your eyelid, girl.”
And finally we have team “Poo.” Since all three Queens are portraying different sides of Divine, they’re all sporting the makeup. I think Violet Chachki pulls it off the best. She even gave herself a receded hairline. Miss Fame is really proud of her makeup job (it is pretty darn good). Michelle Visage warns her, “It’s so much more than a look. This is probably the most iconic John waters scene of all.” I hope they can do it. Violet is making Divine faces and seems to be trying but Miss Fame is kind of doing Miss Fame with a deeper voice. Lucian Paine asks her to start small and grow big but Miss Fame can’t take direction. She gives the exact same performance. Lucian decides to just move on. Pearl can’t remember her lines. Lord, these girls are a mess. Lucian asks for more energy from Pearl but at least she doesn’t let that break her. Lucian’s biggest concern is that Violet, Miss Fame and Pearl all seem to be in their own scenes. They’re not relating to each other. “Just remember, you’re interacting.” Argh! It’s painful!
As the girls prepare for the runway they start teasing each other about their ugly dresses. Trixie Mattel is nervous because, traditionally, when a girl is brought back she goes home right away. And Trixie isn’t ready to go home again. Miss Fame starts critiquing Pearl’s painting. “Do I talk to you about how you do your makeup?” Pearl asks. “No, but you should be,” Miss Fame shoots back. They start passive-aggressively sniping at each other. Pearl thinks that Miss Fame enjoys being read by other Queens but if she does it, it’s a problem.
Ginger Minj and Kennedy Davenport talk about how difficult it is to make a career out of drag. No retirement funds, scarce bookings. But that’s the price of doing what you love. Hopefully all of that will change after RPDR. They’re all so talented and deserve to be compensated. Violet Chachki is super excited that John Waters is going to be a judge. So am I, Violet. It’s a big deal. Trixie watched his films when she was starting drag and they taught her it’s ok to be un-beautiful. “I always like to be shocking and funny before I be pretty.” “We know,” Violet quips and everyone laughs. I’m really enjoying having Trixie back in the mix.
The guest judges are Demi Lovato and the one and only John Waters. Ross Matthews looks a lot like Carson Kressley this week. Oh, wait. That IS Carson. I was starting to believe he didn’t actually exist.
The runway theme this week is the Ugliest Dress Ever. RuPaul starts things off wearing a hideous concoction that looks like a velvet painting of RuPaul. Woof. Kennedy Jackson looks like a church lady in glasses and a pink, flowered dress. Not so much ugly as old lady. Katya has already won the runway (in my opinion) in a yellow, crocheted minidress. She looks like she’s wearing macrame. RuPaul sums it up as, “Knitter, please.” Ginger Minj is wearing a neon green polka dot dress (you know, Michelle Visage’s least favorite color). It’s pretty ugly but it feels like something Pandora Boxx has worn without irony. Trixie Mattel comes out in a black and fuchsia prom dress from the 80’s. It’s embarrassing but not necessarily the ugliest. “They always say you can wear the bridesmaid’s dress again. Not true.” Pearl has on a black and white Harajuku dress and anime eye makeup. Pearl! That’s not ugly. It’s weird but not ugly. I expected more from you. Oh, I just noticed it’s covered in googley eyes. I’m liking it more and more (but my favorite shoes have mice on them so I might not be a good judge). Wait a minute! Violet Chachki just shut this competition down! She is wearing a velour, rainbow, triangle dress with pom pom fringe. And she’s walking the runway like it’s couture. “It’s not like the pride flag. It’s like the shame flag.” “Her clown posse’s on fire.” Miss Fame has a very full brocade dress that looks like it was from a Project Runway avant-garde challenge. Once again, not ugly but definitely unusual.
Now we get to watch the completed screen-tests. First up is team “Cha Cha Heels.” Katya really knows how to play a lush . Kennedy Davenport is giving me Mo’Nique from Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire in her housedress and slippers. I still think Kennedy should have gone bigger. But she does have a strong voice. Katya steals the show. Kennedy gets some energy when she dances at the end and it’s great to finally see her smash that christmas tree down on Katya. Next we have team “Eggs”. Ginger Minj is amazing. Trixie Mattel is pretty good but she’s not giving me Divine. The song is hysterical (“Eggs, eegs, eggs, all I want is eggs, eggs, eggs”). Now Trixie is bringing some character to it. And Ginger is still amazing. Definitely the best team performance (and I feel safe saying that before seeing team “Poo”). Eggs, eegs, eggs, all I want is eggs, eggs, eggs. Awesome egg fight at the end. And finally we get to team “Poo.” I’m trying to think of something to say about team “Poo” but there’s not much to add from their earlier filming. Violet Chachki is trying but she doesn’t have the acting chops for a challenge like this. Pearl and Miss Fame are pretty painful. It’s understandable why no one wanted them on their team. And no one ate poo.
Carson Kressley doesn’t think Kennedy Davenport’s dress was ugly enough but John Waters loved her performance as Dawn Davenport. RuPaul finally makes the connection that she shares the same last name as her character. All the other judges laugh at RuPaul but I didn’t notice it either. Oops. John Waters (sorry but I can’t just call him John) thought Katya elevated her role and “added a new layer of filth, which is high praise coming from him. The judges acknowledge that Katya’s dress is truly hideous although John Waters thinks hipster girls in Brooklyn would totally wear it. Michelle Visage hates the color of Ginger Minj’s dress, of course, and called her performance as Edie a masterpiece. Ginger gets teary eyed at the compliment. Trixie Mattel’s dress wasn’t ugly enough for Michelle. Carson thinks he may have worn it in the 80’s. John Waters thinks she did a great job playing the softer side of Divine. “But I do think that Ginger outshined you a little bit,” Demi Lovato added. Demi thinks that Pearl’s dress is the “least ugliest.” “I’m not going to lie,” Pearl confesses. “I feel cute.” Michelle comments that Pearl was a bit hesitant and John Waters didn’t understand that she was supposed to be the “good” Divine. Carson applauds Violet Chachki for really giving ugly. “It’s a talent,” she demurs. Michelle thinks, of her group, Violet looked the most like Divine but she didn’t understand her padding. Violet only gave herself a belly pooch instead of full fat padding (I assumed she was doing a pregnant belly). Carson thought her performance was flat and Violet gives him the stink eye. “Miss Fame, you need ugly lessons” John Waters tells her. “Because that dress is incredibly elegant.” Miss Fame harrumphs. Demi and Michelle didn’t like Miss Fame’s performance. Well, it stunk.
Uh, oh. RuPaul asks the girls who they think needs to go home tonight. This always causes problems. Kennedy Davenport thinks Miss Fame because “clearly the struggle is real.” Katya agrees since Miss Fame has been in the bottom for the last couple of weeks. Ginger Minj jumps on the Fame boat. Wow, Trixie Mattel also says Miss Fame. “She dropped the ball on her ugly look and her performance.” But she loves chickens (ok, I know they’re right). Pearl, not surprisingly, also thinks Miss Fame should go for not winning a challenge yet. Violet Chachki thinks that since Trixie was brought back she should be held to a higher standard so Trixie should go. Miss Fame says, “F*** all these bitches!” But then she chooses Pearl for being “too cool for season 7.” Pearl stands up for herself and says she’s really surprised to hear that from Miss Fame.
Top Queens: Kennedy Davenport, Katya, Ginger Minj, Trixie Mattel. Ginger Minj is the winner!
Bottom Queens: Pearl, Violet Chachki (although RuPaul agreed her dress was the ugliest), Miss Fame.
LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE
The two Queens up for elimination are Miss Fame and Pearl. They perform Really Don’t Care (feat. Cher Lloyd) by Demi Lovato.
I’m curious to see if Miss Fame can lip-sync. I know she’s new to performing so this will be interesting. Pearl is starting with a lot of energy. Miss Fame is the one that seems asleep this time. I’m wondering if her huge dress is hindering her (I have a feel she relies on that body). Pearl is doing some of her weird movements but she’s improved a lot since her last time lip-synching for her life. Miss Fame looks like she’s singing a ballad. Which she’s not. Miss Fame is dancing with her arms. Pearl adds some cute dance moves. They both really enjoy flipping each other off. Demi Lovato can’t keep her eyes off of Pearl. Pearl, shantay, you stay. Miss Fame, sashay away.
Next week: Prancing Queens. And don’t forget to watch Untucked, available every Tuesday. You can watch this week’s episode right here on TamaraTattles.com !