It’s time for the Real Housewives of New York again. I feel like the last episode was yesterday. Time flies. I’d suggest drinking every time Bethenny cries if you don’t have plans tomorrow but unfortunately for me I must venture into THE WORLD tomorrow for a bit and need to be clear headed.
We open with a scene with Carole and Heather on the highline. I had plans to go walk that highline last summer but they did not pan out due to a variety of things, aka a clusterfuck of issues. I am dying to see it as I don’t think it was there last time I was in NYC. My yankee NYC friends act like it is overrated but it looks amazing. Heather is having a dinner. Those always go so well. Carole is fucking the boy chef from Luann’s Hamptons house. Carole says that she went to a club with him and ate a random gummy bear, started tripping and they had to leave. Carole puked all over both of them on the pedicab home. Carole seems proud of this. The kid is 29. Carole says that she has not told Luann because he used to date Luann’s niece. #Cougar
Carole goes on a ping pong date with her boytoy. Carole is clearly trying to relive her high school years. Dude is not even that cute.
Bethenny is having a birthday party. She doesn’t do well with birthdays. So Bethenny has….wait for it… a dinner and Sonja brings the boy child she picked up in the bar on the last episode. Oh look, it’s another SkinnyGirl promotion with tons of bottles of SkinnyGirl to drink. I recall reading that the girls were pissed they all had to attend all her “promotional events” and she blew off theirs. I thought they meant real promotional events, but apparently it is on screen promotion. Dorinda and Kristen were apparently not invited, Heather did not get a plus one and Fredrik and Derek show up.
Okay Sonja’s boytoy’s roommate arrives. WTF? Did Sonja get a plus TWO? Anyway that is not the important part. The important part is clearly this is Sonja’s boytoy’s partner. They are both as gay as Andy Cohen. SURPRISE! Will Sonja or anyone point this out or are we just going to play this game all season. Let’s watch. Sonja clearly knows. Oh Sonja, I have been on the arm of a hot gay man or two in my life so that HE could keep up appearances at family functions. But this in your face, both of these men want me stuff is utter bullshit. No one will buy this. How embarrassing.
Bethenny indeed did not give Sonja a plus two. And she rants about it in her talking head. It seems the boy toy’s boyfriend also wanted some TV time. Anyway, the gay couple are both models. Carole flirts and tries to impress them with her Jordache Jeans commercial which was before they were born. How embarrassing. The guy says maybe she is pronouncing Jordache wrong. I love these two. Can we keep them?
I am going to let you guys discuss Bethenny’s dress.
Did you know there was a housewife on this show named Kristen? Me neither. Apparently, Bethenny doesn’t either.
Did you know there was a housewife on this show named Dorinda? Me neither. Apparently, Bethenny doesn’t either.
Dorinda is a mean beard. They are having a sleepover so she can figure out how to make money off of him. She’s really a mean miserable bitch.And she is doing all of this ON CAMERA.
I guess Ramona is trying to move on. She says that she is opening a sportsbar or partnering with one or something. Someone named Peter wants to partner with Ramona because he admires her business sense. I can’t with all of these fake storylines.
Dorinda, Bethenny , Heather and Carole go to dinner. Bethenny and Dorinda hit it off right away. Bethenny brings up that Dorinda’s boyfriend was there. Dorinda is constantly comparing her gay love interest to her late husband. Bethenny says they need to rebrand the term “late husband” because it makes them look old. In Carole’s talking head she says that she has no idea why Bethenny would feel the need to do that since there I no money in it. #SHADE Lovely commentary about dead husbands ensue. Carole says her husband’s ashes were interred in England but that site has been sold to make condos so she needs to go pick him up. REALLY BRAVO? REALLY? Bethenny compares this to doggy daycare.
Dorinda is so drunk, her conversation has to be subtitled. Meanwhile, Mike Shouhed is shitfaced.
Heather tells Bethenny that Kristen is hurt that she was not invited to her birthday party. Bethenny doesn’t give a shit. Bethenny pretends to fall asleep. Bethenny says that Heather was Carole’s plus one. Dorinda says she was a bit upset too. Bethenny doesn’t give a shit. Everyone except Heather seems likes like they are drunk. Bethenny insults Heather in her talking head talking about her “rap name” and shit. Is she jealous of Heather’s relationship with P Diddy? Does she just not like Heather? Bethenny seems like a bitch.
I am about to sign up for the I hate Bethenny club.
Next week: More bitching.
Side Note: I can’t recap WWHL tonight. Stuff to do and such I will get to it I promise.