I was so riveted by Grey’s Anatomy (YOU MUST WATCH THAT EPISODE IF YOU HAVE NOT), Scandal and American Crime that I could not tear myself away to recap this. Please do not spoil those shows in comments for those who haven’t seen them yet.
We are back in the Philippines. Gina is still shouting at Pettifleur about her stupid book. Pettifleur says that Gina makes racist comments about her. Gina is bitch to Pettifleur, but Pettifleur is the most annoying human on the planet and if I had to be around her I’d probably take some verbal swipes myself. Pettifleur calls Gina “Ned Kelly” which is apparently a criminal in an Australian movie played by Heath Ledger. Or something. Pettifleur is insane. Perhaps the Aussies can make better sense of her for us. Gamble stands up for Gina. Jackie takes Pettifleur’s side. Jackie says that Gina threw Pettifleur and Gamble under the bus on some morning show they were on by saying “let’s throw the newbies under the bus!” Oh the drama. Jackie screams at Gamble for not listening to her and cusses her out. Gina and Jackie say they will never speak to each other but continue screaming at each other. Jackie says that Gina knew about the rumors about Gamble before anyone. Jackie says that Gina needs a shag! A good fucking root!
Janet and Chyka go to see a tea master. Gamble and Lydia meet up to chat. Lydia goes straight to the topic of Gina. Lydia tries to turn Gamble against Gina. Did Gamble just say she was a devout Daoist? Pettifleur and Jackie meet to talk trash about Gamble. Lydia goes to meet her housekeepers parents to bring them some things. They are very sweet. Lydia tells her housekeeper’s mother that Lydia is her actual mother. She talks about what a great servant she is.
Pettifleur in her talking head says she is all about, understated, sophisticated elegance. Then she is show in this get up…
Gamble says she nearly fell over when she saw her. She said she looks like she could be shot out of a cannon. I think she is sort of I Dream of Jeanie meets Ukrainian magician’s assistant. It’s really quite something. It actually makes Gamble’s dress seem almost fashionable. The two new girls hate each other. Pettifleur is offended that Gamble called her nouveau riche. Pettifleur asks her where she gets her money to buy all her clothes. Pettifleur keeps asking Gamble if she gets an allowance. Gamble finally walks off. Pettifleur tells a fairly accurate description of what happened to Gamble when they ask and they are all somewhat mortified. But that doesn’t stop them from jumping right in to insult Gamble themselves. Do these women have any conversations about anything other than each other? Seriously. They need to read a book or get a hobby so they can have adult conversations. Gina arrives and in her talking head says I had no idea Grace Jones was in Manila, regarding Pettifleur’s costume.
Oh look. They do have a topic. Cosmetic surgery and fat sucking machines. Pettifleur wants to buy a custom Bentley with linen interior for her birthday. Lydia says, “wow, that is a huge allowance.”
Now for a bit of zen. The RHOMel go to The Farm. The exact same spa in Lipa that the RHOA went to. Lydia and Gamble got foot massages in the Philippines by a zen garden with beautiful water features. And the talked the whole time! About Lydia’s dead son of all things. I would have rather just been shown the garden with the sound of the moving water. Lydia likes Gamble now. Gamble tells Lydia she has her own inheritance from her grandmother and her father.
The other ladies get massages as well. Everyone is so relaxed. They are having dinner. I think they are still at The Farm but they are definitely having wine. On RHOA they said there was no alcohol or meat allowed but they smuggled some in. Gina announces that she is coming out with a bedazzled shoe line. Or rhinestones as she prefers to call it. Dumbass Pettifleur who has no idea how to keep her mouth shut thinks Gina should do boots instead. At dinner, Gamble says she looks forward to being aligned with such successful women. She tried a handbag line and it has not been successful and she hopes to learn from everyone. So Pettifleur whips out a copy of her manuscript. Really? In Pettifleur’s book she tells women not to talk too much. Pettifleur needs to heed her own advice. Pettifleur calls Gamble Carnival Clown Barbie.
And mercifully this episode is over.