Thanks to a commenter for the photo.
Oh the memories. I spent my first spring break in Daytona and met a guy from Ponce Inlet that the girl I went with flagged down for his total hotness I was shocked he was into me. We spent the entire week together and did all sorts of naughty and illegal things there. My strict southern Baptist parents agreed to pay for the condo we rented. That was SO OUT OF CHARACTER for them, I still cannot fathom why they would do that. It makes absolutely no sense. I am amazed that I didn’t go to jail that week. My “man” who I kept in touch with for quite some time invited all of his felonious friends over to party. Fights broke out The condo was damaged including the door being busted in by people trying to get in.
The sorority girl I went with slept will 11 guys in one week. I slept with Doug every night. It was amazing and fabulous. We spent a ton of time together while sorority girl was entertaining others. We went to sand dunes, he talked to me about his family, deaths in his family. We laughed and cried together. He showed me all the local spots. I went back to see him on another trip with another guy ( IDGI either, I was young). He got arrested while we were visiting, but not in our presence.
I always wonder what happened to him. I always sort of lived on the edge with guys in college. He paid for all of the damages to the condo and my parents never had any idea.
Do any of your reminisce about Spring Break? And as always, these are posts to talk about anything.
Being 62, I don’t remember spring breaks. However, I was a teen in the late 60’s, so living on the edge was what we did. I think the most dangerous stunt was when a girlfriend and I were hitchhiking on Sunset Strip to go to the beach. I was 13. We got a ride with a motorcycle gang. Surprisingly, nothing happened, except we got to ride on motorcycles all the way to the beach! Shhh, my mom still doesn’t know about this one.
LOVE IT!
Also you are not the dumb lisa, she is a window licker now. 🙂 So you must have had a minor infraction that got your post deleted or whatever. xoxo
On Thu, Apr 23, 2015 at 1:07 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Thank goodness I am not the dumb Lisa! No clue I got a post deleted. Kisses back and apologies for what ever it was. 🙂
(I’m pretty sure that convo string WAS dumb lisa)
I wanted to go to Filthy McNasty’s on the Strip in the mid 70’s in the worst way. Alas, I was in high school, had no fake ID, and my older brother absolutely refused to take me and said he would kill me if he ever found out I went there. He knew and saw all. I guess it is now called the Viper Room. Can’t put this on the bucket list.
i always wished i had gone to college and experienced these things, when i see movies or read about someones spring break i am a bit envious. i am sure it was a carefree time of fun and sun and i am so glad you have fond memories of it. me, i did other craziness, at 19 i was living in a biker clubhouse working at supercuts. we had some wild parties and i once asked my dad why he wasn’t freaked out about it and he told me he used to ride and he knew they wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. it was wild,i met a guy who lived in tacoma and moved thereand stayed friends with my biker friends for years. i have now lost touch with all of them. i miss them from time to time
I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. We have been dancing around some issues for awhile. I am trying to sabotage the very expensive appt by staying up too late. And drinking.
I don’t have a strong support system in real life. And she has held back from “going there” because of that.
It has become something that cannot be ignored. so tomorrow we discuss it. If you are a long time reader you may recall me having a few meltdowns about it. I think I probably deleted those.
I’ve been thinking about quitting this therapist due to finances for awhile. I really like her but since I was forced to pay for Obama care my Buckhead therapist isn’t really in the budget.
Plus I have no secrets from you guys. If I need to talk, I have an outlet. I don’t see how this is going to help.
But I am going to go.
OTOH, I feel like I am smarter than most everyone. And if she just gives me the whole “it is not your fault” speech…
Anyway I am self sabotaging. I do that a lot.
On Thu, Apr 23, 2015 at 1:46 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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TT, I hate giving advice. Been in therapy most of my life. It’s been especially helpful these last few years dealing with my son’s illness and the divorce. It’s tough, though–makes me sweat and then I have face big scary shit and change. Just know we all care for you and personally I am grateful you are in my life. Sending energy and hope you get some resolution. Big hugs!
I made another cake so, yeah, I understand self-sabotage.
I understand TT, that self sabatoge that feel so comfortable, so necessary, and so satisfying. At least that’s how it feels to me. Please feel free to fell me to “F” off if I’m off base here.
I too can not rest. It is 4:30 am here. I just took half a Vicodin and chased it with 4 oz of $3 buck chuck from Trader Joes. I have a full day of dealing with my elderly mom who is suffering from Dementia and my dear old pops who needs dialysis 4x a week.
From the bottom off my heart I do wish you the best. You got a wicked sense of humor! You are so my cup of tea…
TT, I agree that you are smarter than most. So you already know how much better you will feel after going there with your fancy therapist! You could always quit right after if you regret It.
Best to you, today.
I have no idea of your financial situation but if you can afford it stay with the therapist. They really help us confront painful issues that we simply deny because it is easier. You are intelligent but also strong enough to finally confront your issues.
Delicately, and with love, I suggest you go “there”. If you trust the therapist. Think of all the minutes, hours, days of your time that has been distracted by “that”. Take one little step towards getting that time back for yourself. Maybe tell the therapist up front, not to give you that speech you don’t want to hear. At least not now.
And lastly, I’ve had amazing experience and have had friends also utilize EMDR. Eye Movement Desensitization. It works. It sounds too simple but it works. There are practitioners around the country. Hugs and Love
i feel like if we can “see” our crazy that is a good thing. i am crazy, maybe not your crazy but i have issues. we all do, we cannot go through life and not have a few. i have been a reader almost from the beginning of your blog, i don’t always comment but i lurk all the fucking time. if you ever need a virtual hug i got one for ya. sometimes the best therapists are the ones without the degrees, we can see the crazy because we are! just try and relax and breathe deep and don’t sweat it.
Go!! I’ve been avoiding some stuff myself and from one Tamara to another, it’s time. That’s part of the reason I took a job in another city. Like you I was living where I grew up – Lawrenceville and I couldn’t seem to get out of my head there. Life still sucks but it’s funny cause since I’ve been here I keep running into folks that are causing me to begin to get some clarity and put some of that old crap into perspective. Kinda rambling now, but go! And because you’re so smart, you’ll ultimately know what to do with whatever she comes up with. : )
Love your Daytona story. Good times!
Having grown up at the beach, I never had any interest in the beachy sort of spring breaks. I usually headed up to Mammoth for spring skiing. The worst spring trip started off well. Cartoons with breakfast in the hotel room, great skiing during the day, and lots and lots of alcohol at night. We were pretty classy and used the bathroom sink for an ice chest and stuck all the booze in there. Lord knows how we managed to keep skiing with such awful hangovers. We saw a freestyle exhibition day two with some amazing pros. We got all pumped up and I was flying down a mogul run and bam – chest first into a mogul. Fractured two ribs and bruised two. I still skied for two more days, and tried not to groan all the way home in pain while lying on the floor of my friend’s VW bus. I got big props for toughing it out tho 🙂
Best trip was with my BFF. As usual, skied all day and drank all night. I met a totally hot ski patrolman and had a bit of a hook up ;). That summer, I ran into him while at the beach. He was on the job – it turned out that off season he was a lineman for Edison. Somehow he didn’t look nearly as hot without his red ski patrol outfit lol.
My friend now has stage four renal cancer. She is handling it like a champ, to no one’s surprise! We still laugh about the crazy things we got away with. Ahh youth!!
What a fun post. Thanks!
I miss the beach.
And thanks for not putting me in the window licking section tonight 🙂
I never did Daytona or an official spring break. I diid a whole few years of drag racing cars, underage drinkiIng, and promescuity. Getting married just before I was 22 probably saved my life. I married a boy scout type of guy.
11 guys in one week? What an amateur.
Making T-Rav’s baby mama look like a nun.
I went to Georgia Tech in the early 70’s. The year before me there were 150 women, my class brought it to a whopping 400. I was dating a senior and the fact that he was focused on graduating kept me focused and out of the fraternity scene. Thank God or I probably would have flunked out partying!
That said my BF lived in Ft Lauderdale, so I did get to go there for spring break that year. After he graduated and we broke up I did get a bit crazy, sleeping and eventually moving in with my Physics teacher, heh!
After I graduated and travelled a lot for business I sowed a fair number of wild oats in locations across the hemisphere.
My college year’s spring destinations were South Padre Island, Texas with a lot of partying in Matamoros, Mexico or going to Cancun, Mexico. It was the 80’s so Cancun was dirt cheap then. Sadly, now it’s too dangerous for drunk college students in Matamoros. On the bright side, SPI still has beautiful beaches.
Sabotage- from the Dutch workers that would throw their wooden shoes to destroy the cogs and gears in the industrial weaving looms.
You are a gutsy woman, and I have every confidence that you will face those demons and kick them in the ass. Name them and they start losing their power.
Your spring break adventures sounded like so much fun. The beach and a love affair….all the ingredients(es) for a great summer romance novel.
While in college, I usually worked during spring break. We could stay in the dorm, and Santa Cruz was a paradise.
High School spring breaks were spent in Catalina partying with my mom, step-dad, my brother, and his girlfriend, and my boy friend. I had the cool parents that let me smoke and drink alcohol once I turned 16.
I feel so provencial around all you world travelers.
Santa Cruz and Catalina – two great locations! No wonder you miss the beach 🙁 I think I would go crazy if I wasn’t near the water! Somehow it’s calming, even if I can’t see it. I know it’s nearby…
My most memorable party blowout was actually at home. My mom went on a weekend trip out of town with her friend. I was a senior just turned 18 by brother 16. We decided to throw a party. It was amazing we played quarters and danced to loud music. Of coarse the police was called. I lived in an apt. People were arrested for drunk in public, parents were called for under age drinking and on the police report my mom got for disturbing the peace it said there was 40 cars at the party. I was grounded forever, but a hero at school for the party of the year.
When the cops were called, you know the party was a success.
Exactly
Wussy girl checking in with TTTED. I checked out the Garden Discussion section and was wondering, is it possible to have a TTTED section by itself? The comment section is long already. My daughter and I are going to the nursery Friday to buy plants. She’s nine and excited to try and grow tomatoes!
My girlfriends and I always went down to Mexico to party. We only lived a few hours from the border and that was the thing to do. Being young and dressing half naked always got is in the clubs for free and drinking in Mexico was never an issue! We always had so much fun too.
One night after a lot of dancing and partying we stopped at the gas station upon returning to the states. It was about 4 in the morning and since I was the driver I was the only sober girl in our group. I pulled up to a well lit gas station in a small town and went inside to pay for gas. As soon as I opened the door the alarm started going off. I went up to the counter and waited for the cashier. There wasn’t one. That’s when I heard police sirens in the distance.
I was pretty nervous but I went outside and waited for the police.
Once they got there and realized I hadn’t done anything wrong they let me go on my way. I was just surprised they didn’t ticket my very drunk and underaged girlfriends. One of which was very flirty and trying to hit on one of the cops. Maybe because I was honest and had told them we had just come back from Mexico.
Looking back I can see how reckless and naive we were to go to Mexico and party. I mean young, American girls drunk and partying in Mexico ! probably not the smartest thing we could have done. Thankfully nothing bad ever happened to us. But it sure made for some great times and great memories!
TT, do scandalous! When I was a senior in high school, I met a college guy on spring break in either Pensacola or Orange Beach. Anyhow, he lived in Lafayette and I in NOLA. we made out and fell in fake love. He drove 3 hours to see me when my mom was out of town after that but it was so weird. He didn’t even sit next to me and slept over but didn’t try anything and left in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. Totally baffled me! I was very pretty back then.
FF to the next year, I went to see an 80s cover band in my college town and ran into spring break guy! He noticed me and made it a point to come talk to me. It was so weird. Nothing ever happened between us but it still confuses me to this day
AHHH Daytona Spring Break, all the memories that have been erased. I do remember wining a wet T-shirt contest, and a few other contests…after that I did not have to pay for anything. While it was a blast, I had a hang-over for 2 weeks. OK so it was alcohol poising. Thank the Lord social media did not exist back then, just film that needed to be destroyed, and it was!!!
Don’t you wish you had those pictures now, though??
Odd thought: the older I get the more commas I use. Sometimes randomly, sometimes with intention. What does this mean? I need more pauses in my day? Or I am losing brain cells at a RH rate?
Did I just say that out loud?
Katherine, omg i never noticed i used that many commas. I must be pausing and remembering the crazy fun! Yes i would like to see some of those photos.
Yo, Beth! I was talking about me! Now that you have mentioned it, I will go back and look for your excessive commas. Oh, I so wanted to put an extra comma in that sentence.
Therapy went fine. It was a regular session, not the type I was dreading. I think she sensed it wasn’t a good day for it. Thanks for all of your support.
Let’s move on to more pleasant topics. Except I feel the need to confess all my sins and poor decisions today so I must admit I have not been participating in the 15 minute walk every day challenge. I am going to try to get with that in a bit. I sort of want to watch last night’s Catfish and recap it first.
On Thu, Apr 23, 2015 at 3:01 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Hey TT, glad to hear. I am with you on the walking. We know it helps, why aren’t we committed to it every day?
I am really glad it went well.
I did a lot of walking today. It was/is a really nice day outside so we took full advantage. No planting today though. Happy Thursday. I need a nap.
We have a lot of Mexican in my neighborhood. Every night (after dinner I suppose) the whole family goes for a walk. I think that is so great. Grandparents, parents, teens, little ones, all go for a stroll. I think everyone should do that. I can’t imagine American families getting all the kids to agree to take a walk every night with their parents. And grandparents.
Then there is the crazy lady who walks two dogs like five times a day. One is off leash and is always running off. I guess she only has one leash? She also walks a different route with her neighbor friend. I watch.
On Thu, Apr 23, 2015 at 4:58 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’m taking a mental health vacation from myself and am going to stay at my folks across the Bay for awhile. This means I’ll be able to participate in Tamara’s tomato challenge via my dad’s garden!
Am going to the beach soon. Will be thinking of you all. Eh, probably not.
I’ve always been fascinated by Spring Break in the US as I live in Canada. We get 2 days and they call it “Study Break” and you have midterms starting the day you return. So no Spring Break for us. I’m a bit baffled why people seem to go so insane at Spring Break. I’m scared of it – I made sure to schedule my trip to Cancun a week or two before Spring Break started!
I went to Daytona Beach once, it was really neat. We were enjoying the sun on the beach when one of those Florida afternoon rainstorms rolled in and we had to run back to the car. We were running through the parking lot and all the car alarms were going off because the thunder was so loud! Florida can be pretty cool.
It didn’t used to be so crazy. It’s pretty out of control now. I’d rearrange my schedule too!
My 4 baby tomato starts are by the window. I said No Tomatoes This Year but my boss gave me these heirloom Dester’s anyway. Because he knows I’m an addict, like him. He will again grow 35-40 plants. And we’ll roast slices of them this summer with olive oil, thyme and garlic. YUM YUM YUM
Hi, I’m a long time lurker on TT, but first time poster. Read this thread last night and it really has me reminiscing! My spring break story(1989) truly began in September ’88. While in Myrtle Beach, SC with my boyfriend of a year and a half we met a couple of guys from Montreal at a 2 for 1 happy hour-just shooting the shit, as good drunks will do! That began my very own Harlequin romance(that lasted a year of my otherwise boring life!). The one guy, Patrick, was possibly the sexiest guy I had ever laid eyes on! And, the boyfriend(now husband of 23 yrs) was and still is, no slouch in the looks dept! But, dear god, those eyes paired with that french accent-i was a goner. And, shockingly, the connection was mutual! We ended up making out that night in the ladies room! Three days later, I was back at NCSU, Patrick changed their itinerary and came to Raleigh for a couple of nights. First and only time my knees literally buckled kissing a guy! Didn’t even have sex- just pure-t romance! My roommates of course had to be filled in and threatened within an inch of their lives, but they ended up loving the guys too. Can’t even remember the friends name now! Sorry for rambling! That began my year long affair. Forgot to mention- he had money! Every few weeks I would get a fed ex envelope with a letter and tickets to some destination, chicago, NYC, Montreal!
Finally! Spring break that year, my best friend(LL) and I planned to meet him and his friends in Tampa. One of my favorite weeks ever, the two of us even got away for a few days to Long Boat Key. Can still remember flying down the highway, windows down, Tom Cochran cd. Life is a highway still a favorite song but rascal flatts did it no justice after that! As amazing as our time together, the memorable part of that trip was on the way home.
LL had the coolest(or so we thought!) little white BMW, in actuality, not exactly reliable. Seemed to always be in the shop! Of course, her dad, had warned us not to take her car, and we’d definitely promised to not drive at night. Well, being early 20’s, we obviously knew it all and needed no one to tell us anything! So, off we go, leaving Tampa late in the afternoon, just in time to break down on I-95 around 11 pm. Remember-no such thing as a cell phone for a college kid, and we were in the middle of no where! At first, we’re thinking surely with flashers on, State patrol will have to come by soon. Not. Then we decided to try and stand outside the car waving arms, when we’d see a car coming(which by about 1 am were fairly scarce) then the plan was to jump back in and lock the doors, if someone stopped. NO ONE WOULD! Between 2 and 3 we were feeling pretty vulnerable and despite being spring, for some reason, it was getting so cold. FINALLY, someone stopped! So relieved! Until, we see its 3 very scary looking guys. But, secretly hopeful. They get out of their car, and start back towards us all friendly-like. But, there’s just something off. I’m desperately digging in the glove box for something to write on ( I wanted the police to no where to begin looking), I scratched out the liscence plate#, description of car, and tried(all this trying not to look like I was writing!) brief notes on the men themselves! We’re yelling thru tiny crack in the window, that someone had stopped and was sending help. Meanwhile, one on each side and in front. At first fairly friendly, saying to lift the hood, get on out and they’ll see if they can fix it. Then saying, come on just come with them and we’ll all go for help nad come back and fix it . We were terrified. After about 15 min, they gave up and promised they’d go home and call help for us. While there wasn’t anything overt, there was just that voice in your head yelling, “oh, hell,no!”. Confirmed by about an hour later we’re still sitting there, and no one had been sent to help. Completely desperate at this point, still trying jump out when we’d see someone coming, to no avail. We just couldn’t get over the fact that not even a trucker had stopped. Back then I remember the general feelings that truckers were helpful, – the good guys. Sometime later, this 18 wheeler did stop. This man, probably in his 40’s or 50’s, gets out, walks back to us and asks us if we’d like him to look and see if he can see the problem. We did. He couldn’t see anything obvious, he says and then tells us there’s a truck stop up the road that he will take us to and we can then see about towing the car. God,(and I’m not all that religous!) only knows why, but for some reason, something told us we’d be alright with him. Not that we weren’t absolutely petrified during that less than 10 miles down the road. LL by then had been cying off and on for hours. Me, I completely lost it when I sat down inside that truck stop! Crazily enough, because of the time of day and no one could get the car until 8 the next day-he took us home to his house and wife who made up the spare room!! Where we stayed in Walterboro, SC for another day til the car could be fixed! We also found out why no one would stop. There was an actual serial killer, a woman(think she had some help) and it was the height of her spree- so people were being warned not to stop to help stranded cars-especially if a female was in the mix!
My daughter recently met a new friend at college, from of all places, Walterboro-so that had brought it all back. I looked up serial killers to see if I could figure out had the story been true. Can’t remember her name now(maybe kathy/kathleen) but there she was. Listed as one of the most prolific female serial killers of our time and those were exactly her “stomping grounds”. My big take away was, besides from actually listening to your parents advice! Listen to that voice in your head, your “gut”!
If you’ve made it this far, I apologoze for the rambler, but thank you for indulging my reminiscing!
Great story, needed more nasty thou. Ha ha
I spent 16 long years in Orlando. I do not miss it. Too hot, too many bugs.
I never did the Spring Break thing because, teen mom, I am however going to Bike Week in Myrtle Beach next month with my band friends so I’m hoping to make up for my lack of Spring Breakage.
I thought of you today Miss TT. Hope all went well at your appointment. xoxo
Since I’m so late in asking, I’ll probably repeat my question tomorrow.
Anyone Slavic or Czech? My mom taught me how to make Kolache but I’m unsure if I remember it correctly.
I did check online for my type but the recipes vary there also.
Czech baking tip: hard to find these days but make sure you bake them on/in an ALUMINUM pan. Makes a world of difference!
Please tell me you have a kitchenaid with a bread book. They are hard to do by hand.
It’s been awhile since I’ve made them. I’ve lost the receipt that my step grandmother used. And my aunt never made them. We have a big Czech community here so luckily we have a Czech bakery in my town!
Angel, can I ask where you are from? My great-grandfather (czech) started czech bakeries here in TX. So, it was mandatory I learn to bake at early age. (Sigh) haven’t done it in years but had to learn to do all by hand!
I’m trying not get in trouble but Google kolaches texas monthly. This recipe sounds right. Except for some reason I thought it had to rise twice, but I’m probably wrong about that. It has the classic filings recipes too.
Yep. That recipe is pretty darn close. You DO have to let it rise twice. By “shortening” my suggestion is old fashioned Crisco. Use the Crisco also to grease & flour an aluminum pan. (The non-stick kind will burn edges & butter will brown the edges) The fillings are spot-on. We do do them by cutting in squares; not sure by picture how they made them round?
I live in Victoria county. My grandfather’s family was from here and my grandmother’s from Bee county. Now that’s my step father’s family. My mom’s step mother’s family is Czech as well and they are from Colorado and Wharton counties. Halepaska is the name of the bakery.
Ha, that was my thought! So round. We cut into squares too.
My family’s bakeries were in Cleveland, Rosenberg, Houston & one in Brazoria county. I’m in Houston. Sadly, family sold off the bakeries bc everybody died but I did make out with some good recipes & bakeware!
That’s close lol! I go through Rosenburg all the time going to Houston. Now I want a kolache. Poppy seed please. The other day my 3rd grader came home from school talking about how her teacher went to Fredericksburg and had a Danish for the first time. I told her it was probably a kolache. Silly people.
No kitchen aid, doing by hand brings me back to Mom.
I will check the recipe. I know it rises twice, but my doubts were around milk quantity and egg.
I think it was 2 tblsp soda 2 c. flour. We used fig or prune, apricot & cream cheese, not the type you buy in a package.
I will read that recipe.
Her family was from Oklahoma, a huge Czech community there.
Thank You Ladies.
Small world! I swear by the ones in Rosenberg! They are as close as you can get to original! Yumm!
I don’t have a kitchenaide either, but I dream of one when I make doughs. Do you know how to make the Czech egg noodles? I regret never learning how.
Oh I found my Eagle Lake ladies auxiliary recipe book. No soda. 1/4 warm water, 1 1/2 cakes of yeast, 1 3/4 c Pillsbury flour, 1/2 c sugar, 1 c warm milk. Beat ingredients together let stand 1 hour. Add: 1/2 c Crisco, 1/2 c warm milk, 2 egg yolks, 1 tbsp. salt, 2 1/4 c flour. Beat good let rise until doubled. Then work down and make balls for kolaches (or cut into squares) . Let rise until double, make hole and fill. Let rise again and bake 400 degrees about 15 min or golden brown. Remove and brush with 1 stick butter melted with 1/2 condensed milk. Makes 4 dozen.
I only went on one spring break. Junior year of college. The original plan was for the 7 girls in our “best friends group” to go to Jamaica. Only 2 of us followed through…me and a girl I had partied with several times, but was not particularly close with “secrets-wise”. She pretty much planned the weeklong trip to a place called Hedonism in Negril, Jamaica. This was in the early 1980s. It was an all-inclusive and we made memories that will last forever. And it truly cemented our relationship for the rest of our lives. Yes, we still see each other a few times a year and talk on the phone about once a month. And, thanks to this, I will be sure to reminisce about this trip next time we speak!
Highlights of that trip…1) I ate turtle soup (I had no idea it was really made from turtle meat but it was spicy and delicious), 2) I hooked up for 3 days with a gorgeous Canadian male model who was there shooting a promotional ad for another resort chain, and 3) I got over my shame of being utterly flatchested (seriously, I was 32A in college) by being drunk enough to dance and shake it well enough to place 2nd in the wet T-shirt contest! I won a parasail ride and a medium bottle of Tia Maria. Lesson learned: it’s not what you have, it’s how you use it. Oh…and I was (and still am) a damn good dancer!
Good times. Thanks, TT!
Sometimes I wish I had the guts to be bulimic. I know, I know. It’s a deadly eating disorder, but sometimes you just need to purge. Like after five pieces of pizza.
Alright, today I need advice. My sons dad is a great dad (lousy husband), but the girl he’s getting ready to marry is a known meth whore. That gave up the rights to her 3 kids, that I know is still using (my ex told me so) and I refuse to let my son go with his dad because we don’t have a custody agreement in place (the one I want is no contact between the girl and my son) so without it, he can take our son around her and I just can’t let that happen. I did for months until my ex let it be known that she wasn’t sober like they’d been proclaiming. My problem is that for awhile, he had been coming here and seeing our son, but I wouldn’t let him leave with him. Now that’s a problem and he gasnt seen our son in over 2 weeks bc he doesn’t want to be supervised by me to see our son. I KNOW that we need an agreement to set peremiters and until then I can’t trust him to make good decisions with who he has around our son, but I’m conflicted because now it’s our son being punished by not getting to see his dad, even though it’s his dad’s choice to not come here. I feel like I’m in a lose lose situation. Either let him take our son (aroubd who knows who who’s doing who knows what) or my son may not see his dad until we go to court which could still be months away. My heart hurts for my son, bc he doesn’t know why daddy just quit showing up. He’s 7, and NOT stupid, but I just tell him that mommy and daddy both want as much time with him as possible and until we agree, i can’t let him go with daddy. (I’m also scared that without an agreement, he doesn’t have to bring our son back until we go to court.) do you ladies think I should stick to my guns about not being around the new girl and let the father/son relationship suffer in the process or should I relent and try to trust that he will keep him away from the girl and that he will bring him back so that the relationship Doesn’t suffer? Btw, my ex and the girl split up every time he catches her (which is frequently) but keeps taking her back. Sorry so long, but I’m seriously conflicted
You need to repost this on tomorrow’s Daily Tea. Give it time for TT to respond to you, not sure what she will say to you.
There are more than a few very intelligent commenters in here.
I went through a similar situation but will not reply to you about what to do. Others are better informed than I am. Try legal aid, they help if there is child endangerment or abuse.
Calipatti, I have a lawyer, and she thinks it shouldn’t be a problem when we go to court for a judge to agree with me that this girl is not suitable for our son to be around. I have all the information that my ex told me in texts, so it will be easy to prove. The thing is though that bc I have our son, I’m not pushing for a court date, and my ex has a lawyer he isn’t paid up with, so she won’t set a court date either. I have made several hotline calls about this situation and another much more serious one situation and cps said that there wasn’t enough to investigate. So in the meantime, I just keep my son with me.
TT, will you please delete my previous post? It’s too heavy for a such fun spring break stories post. I don’t want to be a Debbie downer
bluerobin6 – you are a good mom, don’t beat yourself up. FWIW, I think a few months to get this straightened out is a small price to pay if it keeps your son safe and you feeling secure. Can you do other, small things to keep them connected? A weekly phone or skype date for son & dad?
And you’re no Debbie Downer––not with those avatar pics you keep using!! 😉
Agree with @Robin. Your son may not understand and be upset, but that’s better than letting him go into a dangerous environment.
Thank you all for reassuring me that I AM doing the best thing for my son. I appreciate it, you all will never know how much.
Thank You Angel & I just Can’t very much!
@Robin. You posted on a old thread that might not get much notice.
Since you have a lawyer follow her advice. Personally I would get into court as soon as you can. With legal visitation your ex will not be able to disappear with your son.
You also need to keep the meth head away from your son. You job is to protect him even if that means he can’t see his Dad for a time.
Meet him in a park for a family barbecue, spend a afternoon ataamusement park, offer your ex choices . You will be there yet he can see his Dad.
@Robin, unless it’s a blatant offense I would never invite CPS into your life. You don’t want to be handing control over to anyone else. Every call that you have made can be used fir you or against you.
Listen to spk, be cool, just wait until you get into court.