The ladies are all still in the Hamptons and have been invited to dueling brunches. Ramona is having one and so is Bethenny. It’s the battle of the OG housewives of New York. Ramona says she is holding a brunch in honor of her friend Dorinda. Everyone decides to try to do both. But Carole wants to skip them both and go for a boat ride with the hot young personal chef of Ramona’s.
Luann shares that Ramona borrowed an Herve Leger dress from Bethenny and never returned it. This is part of Bethenny’s problem with Ramona. This is apparently not the first time Ramona has absconded with a dress. Carole says, “That got she would never fit into one of mine!” That is both some cunty shade and ridiculous. If Ramona can fit in Bethenny’s dress she could surely fit into Carole’s dress. Are Carole and Bethenny both aboard the anorexia train? The ladies mock Carole’s toe hair.
The ladies begin at Bethenny’s house. Bethenny’s house is AMAZING! Especially for a homeless person. Carole points out she has been to Oscar gifting suites with less product than she saw in Bethenny’s house. It is Skinnygirl everything on display everywhere. One of the issues the girls had with Bethenny this season was being forced to go to a shit ton of promotional events for Bethenny and she was never there for their events.
Bethenny says she is not mad at Ramona for taking the dress. She is not made at Ramona for telling her the dress fell out of her car. She is not made at her for posting a picture of her in the dress with Avery and posting it on Instagram. But she is made at her for going off the rails psycho crazy when she invited Sonja to brunch. Hell, I don’t care how rich I am if someone stole my dress, lied and said it was lost and then posted of photo of herself in the dress. We would no longer be friends. That’s bad character right there. The ladies leave with armloads of Skinny Girl swag.
Meanwhile, at the competing brunch the ladies staying with Ramona are all sitting at the bar are waiting for the Bethenny brunchers. Ramona and Sonja are fighting. They Bethenny brunchers are late and Dorinda already has to leave. Luann tells everyone they were at Bethenny’s brunch. The were two hours late to Ramona’s brunch. There will be hell to pay for this.
Dorinda goes to lunch with John. Dorinda claims they have been dating for two and a half years. They do not seem very close. They bicker about which salad to order. They bicker about John being on the phone. Dorinda is loath to kiss him. This is not a real relationship.
Bethenny goes to check on the renovations on her new apartment. She says there is another apartment available on the same floor. That’s a rare opportunity to combine the two. Oddly, Andy Cohen is doing exactly that now according to sources in the building. Actually he is probably done by now but I do wonder if that is where Bethenny got the idea. Bethenny claims she can’t afford to buy the other one right now (lies) and then goes on to discuss possibilities. Bethenny rides the contractors ass.
Ramona and LuAnn have lunch at Ramona’s. Ramona ordered out. They show a flashback to the Bethenny and Jill showdown that happened there. Ramona’s apartment is stunning with huge floral arrangements. I don’t remember it being so lovely. Ramona says that Avery is disgusted with her father. Ramona is crying with bloodshot eyes. Ramona is trying to say that Mario is begging for her to reconcile. I don’t think that is true. Ramona has filed for divorce and is already dating. I don’t believe the second part of that either. She is still grieving her losses. The camera work on this scene is making me dizzy. They can’t seem to keep the camera still. Ramona and Luann are off to a fresh start. Luann says that Mario is on dating sites. Ramona is surprisingly calm with this news. They replay the scene in Morrocco where the psychic told Ramona that Mario was cheating. LuAnn said everyone already knew it at that time. Ramona says that if Mario was on Grindr, that would bother her. (FYI Grindr is a dating site for gay men)
OMG. Dorinda is sitting in a large booth in a restaurant alone. There is plenty of space to place a jacket. Yet she flags down a black man in a dress shirt and tie and asks if he will please check her wrap. He was NOT an employee. WOW. Awkward. She says she once handed a guy in a wheelchair five bucks. He said, “Thanks, I am a lawyer waiting for my ride to get back to my office.” WOW. Who admits that unprompted on TV?
Luann, Heather and Bethenny meet for lunch. Heather says she is overdressed because she just did GMA were she did sort of a practice Shark Tank sort of thing and gave business advice. You can see the steam coming out of Bethenny’s ears as she mocks it both to Heather’s face and in her talking head. Then she orders a drink.
They show a flashback scene of Ramona and Heather and Dorinda somewhere chatting from a previous episode and I swear that looks like the “stolen dress.” Allegedly. The conversation theme is that Bethenny and Ramona hate each other. Bethenny is irked by Heather. Everything Heather says is a big ass deal to Bethenny. I think she is competitive about Heather’s very successful business. That is supposed to be Bethenny’s storyline. Bethenny rambles on dramatically and includes the phrase “braiding each others’ pussy hair.” Because, Bethenny.
Every scene in this episode has involved food. Not that I am complaining, but it’s a fact. Luann and KELLY CRAZYPANTS BENSIMON are at a restaurant. WTF? It’s a girl’s night and everyone is invited including Bethenny. Luann just so happened to run into Kelly is the storyline. No one believes that. This is an everyone has the script except Bethenny. Bethenny skips the table of girls and goes straight to the bar to order a drink. Carole is having some sort of mid-life crisis dressing like she is 20 and dating like a cougar. Speaking of cougar’s Sonja has spotted some fresh meat.
Luann goes to the bar to talk to Bethenny who is pissed. She is pissed with Luann for not giving her a heads up. Bethenny is dresses like a slut. This is a huge pickup bar and everyone is finding someone to hook up with. Ramona flirted with a ton of people.
John walks into the pickup bar without Dorinda! Why wasn’t Dorinda invited to the girl’s night?
Next Week: Ramona is dating again. Carole is hot for the boy chef. And Heather tells Bethenny that Kristen was upset she was not invite to something of Bethenny’s. Dorinda and John fight.