Before I even hear the drinking word, I have so much to say. Apologies in advance for how long it is going to take me to get this post up. First of all why is Porsha even on WWHL with her peachless behind. And her dress is so short I can see up into her damn uterus. I wonder how many times someone will have to tell her to keep her crotch covered on live TV! And her dress is too small for her fake tig ole bitties. /Breath Okay, I’m ready.
Phaedra looks amazing. Perhaps the best she has ever looked in a red dress that is not cut like it’s for a six year old. Shun got it right this time. Porsha does all sorts of weird gestures with Andy introduces her as the Princess of THOTLandia. Is she high? How could you even tell with her? Porsha also thinks it’s summer.
Today is Claudia’s birthday!
Andy starts right away with the coffee enema discussion. Ugh. Is it cold in the clubhouse tonight Phaedra? Because your headlights are on bright.
Porsha defends Nene for walking out of the therapy session. Porsha thought Nene was making a joke when she made the comment about Claudia’s clit leaving the building. Oh bullshit. Nene was pissed as hell and everyone knew it. Why do these two lie? Phaedra thinks it is unfair for people to say the vibe would have been different in Manila if Nene would have gone. Phaedra is an idiot. Of course it would have been different, Nene sucks all the air out of every room she is in. Phaedra also says “As I’ve said before” and “I said many times” almost as much as Apollo says “At the end of the day.” These two are giant apologists for Nene’s behavior this season.
I’m not going to recap the #FixItJesus game. It’s the second game in five minutes. Phaedra is a Lisa Rinna fan!
Sneak peek is the call from Apollo! Apollo says he is holding up for the most part. He still has not seen his children (yes he said children). Peter informs Apollo that Phaedra has filed for divorce. Phaedra says Apollo is doing good. She just talked to him today. THAT’S Interesting.
Phaedra, have you taken the boys to see Apollo? Phaedra says, if that was your business I would have probably had you in the room. (Lots of hooting and hollering). But by saying “would have had you in the room” indicates that she has. Andy is in hog heaven tonight. He sure does love him some Phaedra.
Andy asks how the boys are and if they know where their dad is. They are doing fine, and yes they do.
Phaedra, how are things with you and Kandi? Oh it’s fine!
Porsha, are you dating anybody? Um no, not anything serious.
Porsha how do you feel about Claudia taking selfies with Kordell? Porsha says she doesn’t think about it. You can tell she had the “I don’t think about it” answer ready to use, but it didn’t really work for this question. Andy follows up and asks what her initial reaction was.. She says she was just a bit confused why the other girls were cheering her on since they all said he was gay last season. Way to keep bringing that up Porsha. Porsha hasn’t spoken to Kordell since the divorce. Andy seems surprised, as if he doesn’t know what divorce is for. Also Porsha is smacking her lips before each answer. It’s weird and gross. Porsha says Kordell probably just moved away from America because she travels a lot and has not run into him.
Phaedra, what was your reaction when you saw the scenes with Apollo talking about Mr. Chocolate? Phaedra says it was very disturbing because obviously it wasn’t true.
Andy asks how Apollo’s friend Bun is. Phaedra says that unlike the house husbands, Bun calls to check on Apollo’s children. He’s a good friend.
One of the bartenders asks if the TV show contributed to their divorces. Phaedra points out “I am not divorced, chile, I’m still married!” Wow that was defensive. Do you think Phaedra will file for divorce? Porsha blathers on about her divorce. I wasn’t listening. Andy said to Phaedra, “So you are still married for the record.” She says yes and flashes her wedding ring like a young dumb newly converted Jew in a sky diving landing zone. Andy says, “Staying married.” And she says, “We’ll I’m still married.” Porsha says “Jesus may have fixed it.”
Porsha, did you think your horse riding outfit still looked good even after seeing the episode? Porsha says, “Oh AB SO LOOOOOT LEE! I though my curves really did shine through!” Andy says “They did shine!” Are we talking about the curves of her labia? Because I think all of the guides were down with that free peep show.
Phaedra, what are your thoughts on Teresa’s kids visiting her in jail? Phaedra says she doesn’t have any thoughts because she is not their mother.
Sidenote: I have so much to tell you about what is happening in real life in my ghetto during tonight’s recapping. I’ll meet you in the Weekend Edition of Daily Tea after I finish this.
Was it shady for Nene to walk out of Phaedra’s event? Phaedra says no, she was proud of Nene for walking away from the drama. Andy says to Phaedra, “You are still involved with the event.” Phaedra says yes, she is very involved and will be having many more events.
What do y’all think about Kenya’s pilot? Neither of them say a word. Then Porsha says we haven’t watched it yet, have we? Which was actually great shade, but very unintentional.
How afraid were you in that (FAKE AS FUCK) scene in the garage with Apollo? I was very concerned. It was very frightening.
Poll Question: Will the truce between Kenya and Phaedra last? 80% say no. Phaedra says that she got the conversation she wanted so she thought they were all good, but just wait for the reunion so you can see what really happens Or you can just read all about what happens at the reunion here. Looks like Kenya joined in with Cynthia and Peter. Andy says the thought the RHOA was very dramatic in a very unusual way. He said it was very non-ratchet ….Porsha interjects saying in her shocked voice, “We had a ratchet reunion?” Porsha is funny on purpose?