It’s time to start using my purple pen on the RHONY. I thought I would start with Bethenny but hers was just her telling us that she is ready to share with us again and repeating why she left before and what happened in the interim. Carole on the other hand has some interesting things to say.
I’m going to say it right now: This is the best season this show has ever had. It was for me. I laughed, I cried. I met a handsome man.
I think her new boyfriend is probably the main reason she is so excited about the season. I spared you the first part of her blog where she used a bunch of Shakespeare titles to describe the episode because, trying to hard. I think that is my primary issue with Carole in fact. It’s not that I don’t like her, it’s just that she seems to be trying too hard. 
But enough about me. Have you all heard? The B is back! Love her or hate her she is funny and nutty and honest. Plus mid-way in, she wears a pair of tight Balmain leather pants to a tea party with me, which may or may not have prompted me to have a sex dream about her. You’ll have to wait and see.
I can barely contain my anticipation.
And remember when Bush 41 coined the term “kinder, gentler nation” during his acceptance speech at the Republican convention? Well, I’m stealing it. You’re going to see a different side of Ramona — vulnerable and well, kinder and gentler too.
So Ramona grows up. Finally. Does this mean there is hope for Sonja to do the same?
Luann and I never did see eye to eye on things and nothing has changed. It may be because she has three inches on me or it just may be about something else. You’ll soon find out.
The countess and the princess continue to squabble. Who could have seen that coming. I have generally been team princess but this season I feel I might be team countess. Not sure why. We will see.
Happily, Sonja does seem to get her sh– together and Kristen proves that pretty is pretty sharp too. Then there is Dorinda, the new girl. She just may be the nuttiest of all. Of course, my real life BFF Heather is back and I love her even more.
So Dorinda is weird. And it looks like Carole does not completely abandon Heather for Bethenny. If I were Heather, I’d still feel some kinda way about that.
The good news is that this season we put the “real” back into “Real Housewives.” There are laughs and tears, and yes, there are fights, and hurt feelings, and insults hurled. Not the sort you may see on other shows — hair pulling, wine throwing, table turning — has anyone ever seen that in real life? I haven’t. Maybe I’m going to the wrong parties. But get ready for an emotional roller coaster of crazy like you’ve not seen before. Where things start in Episode 1 is most definitely not where they will end by the reunion. You will all just have to watch and see for yourself.
We get it. You are real. The other franchises are not. Whatever it takes to help you sleep at night knowing you are on a reality show.
The other news is now you’ve seen the show and you know that I:
a) have a Tinder account
b) am eating healthier
c) meet a cute chef
d) missed a few deadlines for my next book
If you answered all of the above. You win! I love Barbara, my editor. She is an amazing woman and usually a bit more mild-mannered. Nevertheless, she is right and it’s the book I must finish. My contract prohibits me from writing for anyone else and sadly that includes Bravo. So as much as I’ve loved writing these blogs, I won’t be able to write each week until my book is handed in. I know, you’re super annoyed with me. You’re all thinking I should get my sh– together like Sonja did. I will. Until then, Bravo has asked me to do an episode Q&A from time to time and they will post that. I agreed as long as it doesn’t take time from my writing. So look for that and I will miss you madly each week.
So writing a blog and answering questions are two different things from a legal standpoint. It makes sense. We’ll take it.
Team Princess! Have always liked Carole, her friendship w Heather seems genuine. Can’t wait to see her love interest and how she brings him into the circle. Noticed she didn’t mention Kristen. Interesting. Great purple ink.
She mentioned Kristin in the 4th paragraph, not much, but she did mention her.
It seems a bit odd to me that Carole’s contract forbids a Bravo blog. Too bad, cause her previous blogs were so funny. Looking forward to the new season. Looking forward to the purple ink, too!
It’s for time reasons.
And I’ve always liked her blogs a lot because she is a true writer (yes, Aviva, she is!) It’s on such a different level than any of the other HW’s blogs. Yet, this particular one wasn’t as impressive. Maybe the Shakespeare added a lot to it.
Boy am I glad she’s gone. Aviva that is. I mentioned in another comment that I’ve met and know women like her. It’s not pretty. If I had been Carole in that situation I would have cussed her out like a fish wife. For real. Yes, Carole is really a very good writer. Weird contract though. Maybe she just wants to distance her writing from her reality TV persona? Hmmm?
I have enjoyed Carole so far, but do agree she tries really really hard to emulate the Carrie Bradshaw from the tv show.
I’ve seen this criticism many times before, but I just don’t get it. Carole is a single woman who lives in NYC and has a social/dating life, like countless other women. Aside from that, I see nothing particularly “Carrie Bradshaw” about her. Nor do I see anything that indicates that she wants to “be Carrie”.
It seems more like that comes from people who have had a limited exposure to literary characters and are grasping at straws looking for something to criticize.
Or it’s coming from people who see the ridiculousness of a Bravo “housewife” trying to include Shakesperean references in her blog and therefore, as TT stated, “trying too hard”.
I agree about the Carrie reference. Tiny blonde writer in NYC doesn’t necessarily equal Carrie.
However, her Shakespeare references are a stretch for this show. (Ok, full disclosure, I used a King Lear reference in a comment about Brandi. I kicked myself later, so you don’t have to.) She’d be more accurate, and a tad more au courant, if she’d used No Exit by Sartre, a play about three people who hate each other trapped in a hell of their own making for eternity.
I say keep referencing King Lear, Sartre any time Katherine. Who doesn’t enjoy a dose of Shakespeare and philosophical mutterings? 😉 God knows my brain needs a shower after reading Brandi’s blogs.
@Katherine: I agree that the Shakespeare titles thing was a bit hokey. But damn, at least she has the knowledge to do it! How many other Housewives could you discuss Shakespeare with? Imagine someone like, say, Porsha trying to write something like that. She probably thinks that Shakespeare is, like, some kind of exercise equipment or something!
I’ve definitely made No Exit jokes about these shows with friends IRL…and comparisons to Waiting for Godot as well…we wait and wait for something…anything…interesting to happen, then we get to the last four minutes of the show, it looks like it’s going to pop, and…nothing. Wait for next week. Rinse and repeat!
Lately though, IRL we’ve been discussing how Empire is really just a re-tread of The Lion in Winter. But I digress…;-)
The criticism stems from her being a brilliant writer who wears gowns hiking (how kooky!), behaves cloyingly awkward on blind dates (so relatable?). My opinion has nothing to do with “a limited exposure to literary characters” but instead has to do with an interesting, smart woman acting out the trite role of eccentric NY writer. And may I say again, I LIKE Carole.
I did not see a gown on any hike. Just saying…
Sorry, it was the little house on prairie dress in Montana. Fuck I hate that I remember this stuff. 🙂
Please. Carrie Bradshaw wishes she was Carole. Carrie was pathetic. Always going after losers, mismanaging her money on shoes, falling ass-backwards into literary success. Carole is everything a new York woman should aspire to. Her past, her present, her talents, her ability to be authentic and clever. I think the cameras make her aware she is being watched and makes her a little disgenuine… otherwise, her life is pretty fabulous.
To Ericzku and Katherine: I’m glad I’m not the only nerd to visit Tamara. So both of you’s and your literature references are welcome company as far as I’m concerned. My thing is art and I look at the Wives as a sort of intricate performance piece a la Andy Warhol. Perhaps I’m reaching. Would love some input.
Yes, the other housewives seem rather dim. I hope I don’t sound like a snob, but I once read Luanne’s Bravo blog. Once was enough. The second I saw her write “should of” instead of “should have” it was over.
I could see myself typing “should of” and I know the difference. I don’t think I’ve ever read a Luanne Blog.
On Mon, Apr 13, 2015 at 12:44 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I wish I’d have been smart enough to avoid it too. But, unfortunately, curiosity killed the cat. I was interested in what she had to say when she was going ballistic over comparing her Countess title to Carole’s Princess.
I don’t think you’re reaching, Minky, when it comes to wives who put on the intentional character like Kenya. Kenya is an example of an intricate performance art piece, but she’s conscious of it. You know, it’s her being herself, but through the lens of reality TV and that persona was chosen on purpose.
And for me, “should/would/could of” instead of “__ have” is such a pet peeve. I just want to shout at people, “Learn your contractions!”
Is this confess your grammatical mistakes place? In nearly every post I time “try and” instead of “try to” EVERY TIME. If I bother to spell/grammar check I fix it. also something about a couple months instead of a couple OF months. I don’t usually fix those. It’s how I talk.
On Tue, Apr 14, 2015 at 9:48 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’m all for using language, spelling, punctuation in a creative way so as to convey ideas that it wouldn’t be possible, or as much fun, to express in perfectly grammatically correct English. Yes, that’s what language is all about, and any linguist would agree with you, Tamara. For example, the linguist I know is not nearly as caught up about spelling as you would expect.
But I’m talking about Luanne. A person for whom appearances are EVERYTHING! She ain’t no damn linguist. Nor is she Mark Twain or Jack Kerouac. I don’t believe the “of” was a deliberate mistake. She needs a proofreader. I guess everyone is a little anal about something. That’s my something.
I was disappointed to see that Carole won’t be writing any more blogs this season. Hers were always clever and well-written, and the only RH blog that I would consistently seek out and read.
She and LuAnn got along well last season, so I’m not sure what she means by “never did see eye to eye on things” unless it’s a cheeky reference to her height. I like them both, but if they do part ways again, I’m going to have to go with Carole – Princess outranks Countess every day of the week!
Looks like Sonja gets the bitch edit this season.
yep.
On Sun, Apr 12, 2015 at 6:23 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Really? If she’s been getting a good edit the past few seasons, then this season must consist of her being REALLY, Giudice-level horrible.
Team Luann AND Team Carole.
I like them both.
Yay! Me too. And I have a thing for Sonja. What is that phrase ” making a silk purse out of a sows ear”?
Carole gets on my nerves. I don’t know what it is about her, but she annoys me.
I think it is her facial expressions. She is sort of a mouth breather with weird lips. It doesn’t align with how smart she is….which makes us all have cognitive dissonance. Sorry. I couldn’t think of a better, clearer way to say this.
On Sun, Apr 12, 2015 at 7:01 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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That could be it. She talks with all of her teeth, if that makes sense. I also think you hit it on the head when you said she tries too hard. I think that also makes alarms go off in my head.
carole annoys the bean sauce outta me too. always has. you’re right, T.T.–part of it IS that she is trying toooo hard. complete with this playing stupid schtick about not knowing how contracts work. this, from the emmy winning journalist? alright. AND her mouth looks like an anal fissure, rode raw.
Was it the name dropping and “rock star” boyfriend? TT got it right. She just tries too hard. She’s a great writer until she tries to show us she writes as a professional.. them come the quotes and weird analogies and catch phrases that will never be. She should be herself. Like her and Heather drunk doing tequila shots was my fave parts of their personalities and friendship.
Yea, I think TT is right about her trying too hard. She always tries to sound clever and act hip and cool. It’s obnoxious.
She wants to set herself apart from her cast mates. And really, who could blame her? I wouldn’t want to be compared to Ramona ever.
Didn’t her season have an amputee hurl her prosthetic leg like a weapon? Maybe not so judgy on the low-brow behavior of other franchises mkay?
She must also be forgetting Ramona throwing a glass that actually hit Kristen in the face…
Oh, yeah, forgot about that for a sec!
I stopped reading Bethany’s blog when i realized it was all a sales pitch for her new books, again. I hope this isn’t what it’s all about for her but it doesn’t bode well for the future.
It seems compulsive with her. I saw the re-airing of “scary island” the other day and the scene when she left gift bags at each womans bedroom door. And they were stuffed with all her branded goods. Sure she wants to strike while the opportunity exists but Bethanny never relaxes. Never.
Name dropping? She’s on the show because she, unlike Luann really is ‘about that life’. She was married into the Camelot legacy for Pete’s sake! Carrie aka Candace B is not the end all be all cosmopolitan book author in NYC. I really don’t see the comparison at all.
I think Carole is embarrassed to be on the show just like Bethenny and that is why they try too hard. They are constantly trying to prove that they aren’t jokes, but the easiest way to do that is not join the real housewives! I think with the exception of Eileen and Lisa rinna, it is always just kind of pathetic and desperate to join these shows and you can behave well on them but you surrender some dignity the moment you sign the contract and that’s just the way it is. The only reason why I think Rinna and Eileen can maintain their dignity is because they are working actresses so being an attention whore and wanting to be on tv makes sense for them.
Bethenny came back, so how embarrassed is she? I don’t think that woman has any shame.
Oh I’m cringing because I have always really liked Carole, but just feel like this younger guy story line will be super obnoxious. And I don’t want to see her fighting with the Countess. I like her when she is funny, sometimes awkward, but always razor sharp. So not into the ditzy Carole they like to play up.
I just always feel like she is so much better than this show! I bought her “looking at the experience like an anthropologist” line her first season, but why is she still here???
I have always enjoyed Carole. Carole, Heather, Kristan are what a NYC woman is for me. Carole is intelligent, doesn’t need to try to be clever. These are the women, along with Bethany and Luann I want to see in NYC.
I always liked Carole. I hope she stays the same this season. I don’t know why but she kinda looks different this season. I always thought she was so effortlessly beautiful; I hope she isn’t going on the trend of too many fillers.
Team Countess
Don’t understand why Carole would screw up a vodka and butter diet by adding cucumber. Three’s a crowd.
A book deal ! Congratulations !