It’s time to start using my purple pen on the RHONY. I thought I would start with Bethenny but hers was just her telling us that she is ready to share with us again and repeating why she left before and what happened in the interim. Carole on the other hand has some interesting things to say.
I’m going to say it right now: This is the best season this show has ever had. It was for me. I laughed, I cried. I met a handsome man.
I think her new boyfriend is probably the main reason she is so excited about the season. I spared you the first part of her blog where she used a bunch of Shakespeare titles to describe the episode because, trying to hard. I think that is my primary issue with Carole in fact. It’s not that I don’t like her, it’s just that she seems to be trying too hard.
But enough about me. Have you all heard? The B is back! Love her or hate her she is funny and nutty and honest. Plus mid-way in, she wears a pair of tight Balmain leather pants to a tea party with me, which may or may not have prompted me to have a sex dream about her. You’ll have to wait and see.
I can barely contain my anticipation.
And remember when Bush 41 coined the term “kinder, gentler nation” during his acceptance speech at the Republican convention? Well, I’m stealing it. You’re going to see a different side of Ramona — vulnerable and well, kinder and gentler too.
So Ramona grows up. Finally. Does this mean there is hope for Sonja to do the same?
Luann and I never did see eye to eye on things and nothing has changed. It may be because she has three inches on me or it just may be about something else. You’ll soon find out.
The countess and the princess continue to squabble. Who could have seen that coming. I have generally been team princess but this season I feel I might be team countess. Not sure why. We will see.
Happily, Sonja does seem to get her sh– together and Kristen proves that pretty is pretty sharp too. Then there is Dorinda, the new girl. She just may be the nuttiest of all. Of course, my real life BFF Heather is back and I love her even more.
So Dorinda is weird. And it looks like Carole does not completely abandon Heather for Bethenny. If I were Heather, I’d still feel some kinda way about that.
The good news is that this season we put the “real” back into “Real Housewives.” There are laughs and tears, and yes, there are fights, and hurt feelings, and insults hurled. Not the sort you may see on other shows — hair pulling, wine throwing, table turning — has anyone ever seen that in real life? I haven’t. Maybe I’m going to the wrong parties. But get ready for an emotional roller coaster of crazy like you’ve not seen before. Where things start in Episode 1 is most definitely not where they will end by the reunion. You will all just have to watch and see for yourself.
We get it. You are real. The other franchises are not. Whatever it takes to help you sleep at night knowing you are on a reality show.
The other news is now you’ve seen the show and you know that I:
a) have a Tinder account
b) am eating healthier
c) meet a cute chef
d) missed a few deadlines for my next book
If you answered all of the above. You win! I love Barbara, my editor. She is an amazing woman and usually a bit more mild-mannered. Nevertheless, she is right and it’s the book I must finish. My contract prohibits me from writing for anyone else and sadly that includes Bravo. So as much as I’ve loved writing these blogs, I won’t be able to write each week until my book is handed in. I know, you’re super annoyed with me. You’re all thinking I should get my sh– together like Sonja did. I will. Until then, Bravo has asked me to do an episode Q&A from time to time and they will post that. I agreed as long as it doesn’t take time from my writing. So look for that and I will miss you madly each week.
So writing a blog and answering questions are two different things from a legal standpoint. It makes sense. We’ll take it.