Hello Bravoistas,
It’s a sunny day in Southern Cali, and I’m having fun hanging with my BFF Darrin. It’s our birthday shopping day, which is always fun.
You know who refers to L.A. as “Southern Cali?” Someone from New Orleans. Apparently, when the boys are on spring break with Eddie and Leann, there is no need for an ode to the two little spawn for public relations purposes. Also, stop trying to make Bravoistas work.
Argh, the reunion. What is there to say? It was as fun for me to endure then as it was for me to relive a second time for you all. Ha, clearly I’m kidding! Watching it unfold as opposed to experiencing it only makes me wish I had a second chance to ignore those who didn’t deserve an answer. I’m combative by nature but tired of the game.
I see we have given up even the smallest attempt at writing in the voice of a drunken 40 something with the IQ of a parasitic nematode.
I see offensive lineman, Lisa V. waiting to hurl her thought-out scripted attacks, regardless of whether they fit at all into our conversation, Lisa R. exhaustively trying to change every topic (wether it was about her or not) to her own addiction about anything to do with addiction, Eileen trying to fake a pass by laying her earned reputation on me, and cowardly Kyle waiting to piggyback any tackle.
Seriously? Has Brandi even seen a football game in her life? Why couldn’t Lisa Rinna get a cool football position? She was MVP and the star quarterback, duh. Eileen was clearly the kicker landing three points here and there before returning to the bench to quietly watch the game without wrestling anyone in the dirt. And one dogpiles a tackle, Katherine. One does not piggyback a tackle. You suck at football analogies.
Kim and I were obviously playing defense. Only I was really over it at this point.
True. Kim and Brandi were playing defense about as well as Texas A&M, another team who seems “really over it” at this point. We call this losing the game in a shutout.
(Warning: snark ahead)
Lisa V.: Newsflash, IF you ever admitted to ANY of the righteous back stabbing you’ve done to your so-called “friends” and apologized for it, we could also all refuse to accept your apologies as well, but as you say, you are perfect. Though I think if you asked Stassi or Cedric (if anyone can find him), they might have a different opinion. But, since you never admit to anything wrong EVER, it seems unlikely you would start now.
I don’t think righteous means what you think it means. Are you using the “royal we?” Because other than the active addict, and occasionally the woman who admits to being brain damaged, there is no one on your side. I do recommend that you work earnestly to cultivate Stassi and Cedric as your friend. You have so much in common as the triumvirate of trash that LVP has had taken to the curb. Also, you appear to be turning a bit green. Something you ate?
I don’t know; maybe you could go throw my ex-husband’s mistress another engagement party or wedding or maybe pay for their honeymoon. The way I see it, you talked me into giving you an intro for Vanderpump Rules, I delivered our audience and our ratings for you, so maybe be happy. That’s what you wanted since you were a cameo on Silk Stalkings, to be famous on TV. Go celebrate your newfound fame with pink roses and some rosé wine. Stop nagging at me about it.
We have clearly stepped into the realm of delusion. I could see Brandi emailing Katherine this drivel, but this is the best she could do to clean it up? Brandi is utterly fixated on Scheanna. She desperately wants to be her. Which could explain the short skirts and speech of a 15 year old. It just kills her that everyone else has previous acting experience. Really she’s going back to 1963 when LVP was on Silk Stalkings? Lisa is famous because of Vanderpump Rules and this all do to Brandi? Brandi Glanville is actually calling Lisa Vanderpump a fame whore? Has the pot has never met the kettle even socially? LVP is not even speaking to Brandi, let alone nagging her. And why would she nag Brandi about her fame? Does the author of this crap not know the word “nagging” either? Perhaps she meant bragging about her fame? LVP has plenty of soft underbelly to poke, but Brandi forgoes all of that to whine about the parts of LVP that make her the most jealous.
realitytvgifs.tumblr.com
Lisa R… is crazy.
ONE night last year, two chauffeur-driven adult women over 40 went to an adult poker game and both, although in separate cars, got a little out of sorts. Well, someone better call Anderson Cooper, because that game was OBVIOUSLY worthy of a year-long discussion, a congressional hearing, a military tribunal, and may even turn out to be bigger than the Lewinsky scandal [To be left out during any hearing: intent to choke, projectile glass shards, assault, battery, and criminal threats.], and this is BH not DC.
I have no idea what is a poorer choice of analogies when trying to write a blog as Brandi, football or politics. I assure you she know nothing about either. It seems she is trying to say she has a problem with Lisa Rinna discussing the on camera relapse of an addict on a reality show of which she is a paid participant. As opposed to Brandi discussing off camera addiction problems with the same reality show participant that are “worse than anyone knows.” Because, like it or not when an addict relapses in a truly sad and dramatic way while filming a reality show, it becomes everyone’s storyline. Attacking the person it impacted most, for being unsettled and concerned is simply more disgusting behavior from an uncouth excuse for a female.
Eileen, you were married. He was married; they had children. You were caught by a photographer. It was in the tabloids. Your husband sued you for divorce. His wife sued him for divorce. The Star re-published the story in August 2014 as “Eileen Davidson: RHOBH’s New Homewrecker!” All this happened and was published long before I ever met you. Now you brought it up at the reunion and made it a topic again. How is this in any way related to me? Own it, move on.
This is related to Brandi when Brandi hurls the accusation at a new participant on a reality show they are filming. You see, the sorts of people, like Brandi, who read and believe Star magazine as the gospel of gossip probably don’t have the sense to work a remote control. It is related to Brandi because she hurled the insult with glee just as she did the glass of wine, unprovoked and for no reason other than gross insecurity. It is something that Brandi needs to own, feel some remorse about and for which Brandi should humbly beg forgiveness.
Kyle, Kim never mentioned you not being welcome at Brooke’s wedding; she also didn’t mention what you did at Brooke’s first wedding that was unspeakable… Kim protected you and didn’t speak of it, so I won’t go into details now, but we all know it was unforgiveable. You look unhinged. Throwing your crazy around where it doesnt fit in, plus your weird, fake out-of-place “wah hhhh” crying. Enough said.
Kyle’s crying was an appropriate reaction to seeing her high, addict sister for the first time in four months sitting across from her looking like an oompa loompa in a hot pink dress next to a cunt satchel who looks like an elderly puppet in her undergarments while they both revel in her despair. Brandi the one that doesn’t fit in. And everyone sees it but Brandiloons.
I have been waiting for this post since I read the blog yesterday!
I had the SAME EXACT thought about the football analogy. WTF does she know about football? Also, you’re right, the only people who use “Cali” are not people from California. I cringe every time I hear it from someone who was born and raised here… similar to how I feel about people using “Frisco” for San Francisco, but I won’t get on my soap box over that.
I love how Brandi tells Eileen to “own it” regarding how she and Vince got together. It’s all I’ve ever heard Eileen do. She openly admits they were both married. She also has said she and Vince’s ex are friendly.
I could go one for pages and pages, but this is TT’s blog and not miine, so I’ll end with: God, I hate Brandi.
Just curious then, what do people who are from California say? Its a long ass name for a state, just saying.
California
SoCal. “Cali” is a clear identification that the person does not live or embrace the state.
Okay, pretty sure I’ve heard people from Cali refer to it as Cali, but I’ll take your word for it. Seems odd that no one from an entire state would ever think to shorten the 5 syllable name of the state for the sake of brevity.. Cali thing, I guess.
TT’s right.
Like Brandi, I’m born and raised Northern Californian and no one I know here says Cali and whenever I see it in writing, its a dead give away that you’re not reading written by someone other than a Californian. And, obviously intending to not point out to the fact Brandi lives somewhere in the valley (and not anywhere near Beverly Hills), she might say LA, might spell out Southern California, abbreviate SoCal, but Southern Cali? … LMAO
Southern California is the lower county’s (LA, Santa Barbara, San Diego), Northern California is from San Jose (Silicon Valley, San Francisco, Napa/Sonoma and up), Central Valley between the two.
Did you just comment to let us know that southern California is in southern California and Northern California refers to the area of California in the north and central California is the middle or, say central part of California? Thanks for that geography lesson. Since I don’t live in California I would have never figured that out.
On Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 4:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Amber is spot on. SoCal is usually abbreviated. Northern county’s are particular about their identity: Wine Country, San Francisco (we’re fighting off being lumped into Silicon Valley as much as they want us so we often call ourselves the Bay Area to keep the peace). Big state and lots of ego.
Do those who live in Northern California realize they’re missing the opportunity to call “NoCal” home?
Those of us who live in California call it SoCal and NorCal, although I do like NoCal myself. That blog didn’t sound like Brandi at all except in its delusions.
@joyce williams-
That was funny!
LOL, TT!
Sorry (not sorry), but even I rolled my eyes at that lesson. And I know the geographical make up of the state.
California. Period. No self-respecting native uses anything other than California.
If someone says So Cal or Cali, or even So Cali, it’s a give away that you aren’t native, or maybe haven’t been here very long. I can’t speak to what Northern California natives like to use, but I do know that saying “Frisco” instead of the proper “San Francisco” is asking for a fight.
There are some minor conflicts as to where the “borders” lay. Mostly because both Southern and central California want to claim Santa Barbara 🙂
Yes TT is right. You say SoCal for southern Ca. And NorCal for northern Ca. Born and raised in California and no one from here calls it Cali. Well Tupac did in a song but other than that you don’t hear it.
We say California. I’m from California, San Francisco Bay Area, East Bay. We don’t say Cali or Frisco.
I love in Washington State and that’s a very long word, yet we manage to somehow say it. Can’t think of a single abbreviation except WA. But I’m not going to say, “It’s a rainy day in WA.”
And actually, I went to school in California and I don’t think I ever called it “Cali”.
BK, you’re usually more on top of things! I say that as a compliment.
We say California. Northern California, Southern California, L.A., Bay Area, Wine Country. Rest are the cities and towns. Maybe So Cal–I’ve heard that, but no one says Cali. Thanks for the Madame photo, TT! Priceless!
Sorry but I love some “I’m going back to Cali, to Cali, to Cali, I’m going back to Cali, nah I don’t think so.”
I heard that BG is once again moving, shocked my socks off!!! Her landlord now wants to sell the house. How the hell does a 43 yr old working mom (she’s got what 5 or 6 jobs as she screeches) not own a home???? Idk how much bravo pays but her books and now trash wine and general hoochieness, how can she not have enough for a down payment by now? Delete this, yell at me whatever but if I don’t vent this out I’m going to explode. Forget the lies and fucked up personality disorders etc., she is a mother, her kids need a stable home. She makes Danielle Staub look like mother of the year. I’m Praying all the rumors of her being terminated are true, pack your bags, go down to the OC and fight w tamra or better yet, move to a tiny town, settle down and get your shit together. She’s simply unconscionable and there are ZERO redeeming qualities I can say about her. Blah! Done, sorry and
Ha ha that JUST popped into my head! LL Cool J says “Cali”.
No ONE from calufornia says “cali”, “socal” or “frisco.” No one. In fact, we hate it.
“with the IQ of a parasitic nematode.” best description of Brandi ever. Does Andy read this drivel? He must know it is ghost-written. So why allow it? Did she throw in that reference to Anderson Cooper because Andy worships him? I guarantee if somebody asked her what a tribunal was, she would draw a blank. Also, it is plain to see, as Tamara states, that the author does not know the game of football. She has been trying to clean up her image since Celebrity Apprentice, but whatever good will she may have garnered from that show has long ago evaporated. Her reputation is even worse. How is it that a New York Times Bestselling author cannot write a blog? What a joke. It reminds me of the mother I had at my school. It was clear she was doing the kid’s homework. I guess she thought he was stupid, which he was not. I would constantly write notes asking her to stop because her son was better at doing her homework than she was. At the Science fair, he placed. When they asked him to tell us all about his data and methods he just stared at the ground. He had no idea. She later told me she had bought it from a place in Tallahassee which sells winning Science Experiments.
Let Brandi write her own blog. We all know it is not her work, and it makes her look like an imbecile that she doesn’t have enough faith in herself to do her own work.
And by the way, good luck on that Unfiltered Urine launch. RHOBH will be out od sight out of mind (anybody thought about Melissa Gorga lately?) and nobody will give a f***k. I predict an epic fail.. I hope she didn’t invest her own money in this project. It has as much of a chance of being a Snooki launching a wine.
Yay!! Madame picture <3
That Madame picture made my night!
Yep that Madame/Brandi pic is right on point.
TT – I am shocked someone has not contacted you to be their ghost writer!
Why is it that Brandi constantly states that no one can mention her kids but she can mention everyone else’s? She constantly does what she states others do. I wish Eileen would have turned her and said, ” Since we are Talking about the past, let’s talk about how Eddie was engaged when he started fucking you. The only reason he married you is bc she dumped him.”
It’s a shame bc Brandi was not an ugly girl until she started with all this self mutilation. She really must dislike herself, a LOT!
Is that the truth? I do wish one of the housewives would bring it up. I’m sure Brandi would defend it by saying he wasn’t technically married. I’m not one of those who believes it’s not as bad if you’re not actually married – cheating is cheating.
If someone had, how would you know, Tara?
On Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 3:25 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Oh my.. I am now going to read all the blogs and see if I recognize TTs wit.
The quality of your writing and humor would be a dead giveaway to those of us who love and admire you.
Not if I was good at it. 🙂
On Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 9:57 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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true, but realistically how long do you think it would be before you called somebody a cuntsatchel…
hasn’t happened yet.
On Sat, Apr 11, 2015 at 12:32 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Interesting….
I know this bc I heard it from his mouth. True story! I have posted this info before ,no one pays attention! jk Hell he and his fiance were both on YR Julianne Morris!
( he was here for a golf tournament. I was a huge fan,Third Watch lol and Yes I did,a couple times. It wasn’t good but he was super sexy so was I at that time of my life! )
Damn it I had too much wine last night and totally misread your question TT sorry!
I would not know:(
TT in all honesty you are super talented. I am sure you could write each HW ‘s blog no matter the city from their point of view ( I can barely do it for myself! ) Not kissing ass, trying to get a handbag etc ( I already have the “I am a mean girl that thinks TT is the bomb “T-shirt: )
I don’t think you would do it TT, because you have said interviewing the shahs clouded your judgement and you wouldn’t do it again. I think ghost writing blogs would cloud ones judgement too. Unless you did Avivas for the season you chose not to review NY.
Oh bam! I would’ve loved to have heard that!
Oh and I believe the woman Eddie was engaged to was an actress on Young & the Restless! I bet Eileen knows the story!
I bet Eileen doesn’t give a rip.
Correct.
I doubt Eileen does actually care but if I were her I would have educated Brandi’s ass quick! Just proves Eileen has more class than I do:(
OMG …. TT, are you Brandi’s real undercover blog writer, and just pulling our noses by demonstrating how an ignorant idiot would write a blog??? That would be hilarious!
I shamefully admit I held an ounce of hope that Brandi would redeem herself, but she’s proven herself worthy of nothing less than a cunt punt. How she looks at herself in the mirror without getting sick… oh wait, that’s why she’s fucked her face up beyond recognition.
Sorry, am feeling like a cuss today.
No redeeming quality, NONE. I just can’t with the dumb twit. Brandi #getoffmytv – she is looking for a house now, again? – when is her rental due for the renewal? Now she is bitching JR is working for Mauricio?
I can’t.
Wow, that puppet looks like its alive! Brandi is a huge hypocrite, rancid flirt who would steal as many husbands as she could! What a freak!
I totally agree! Brandi, who is constantly judging others for having affairs on their spouses (which really, she has the right to make judgements, but should keep her fucking mouth shut about them) seems like someone who actually would wreck a home in a hot minute, if she felt it would be an opportunity for advancement).
Yolanda made a great comment once… Something like “In Beverly Hiils, a woman will sleep with your husband for a Chanel handbag”. To me, Brandi seems like that type of woman. Not buying this “No one should EVER be a home wrecker” crap at all.
Well fuck. I’ve been doing it wrong. Why don’t I have a better handbag collection?
On Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 5:36 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I know! I’d sleep with almost ANYONE for a new Chanel handbag! (Not really… but hmmmm)
Yolanda should know. Wasn’t Mohammed Hadid married when they got together?
I simply love reading this lol, it’s everything I’m thinking in my head while I’m reading that drivel she posts. I know I shouldn’t get so worked up, but Brandi literally makes me want to scream at the tv when she comes with this nonsense. You are a grown woman, if you spent a quarter of the time you spend mutilating your appearance on enhancing your vocabulary and controlling your temper tantrums instead, you might pass for a moderately civilized human being.
The level of delusion is unparalleled- I think she’s even worse than Kim.
Brandi is certainly more delusional than Kim, and Brandi is D-U-M-B. Kim, in my opinion, knows exactly what she’s doing and is just a cruel, manipulative, and calculating woman.
I caught RHOBH S1 Reunion early this morning & Kim was a completely different person. Not only has she aged 10yrs in the past 5 but she was actually kind, caring, & loving towards Kyle. Either alien’s have entered her body or those are some heavy duty drugs she’s taking. (She’d fit right in on those before / after photos). It’s not pretty. ๏̯͡๏
@addie2u, she was drunk.
I’m pretty sure I prefer Kim drunk, then.
I’ve been waiting for this recap feel all week (alright just 2 days).☺ It was worth the wait. You didn’t disappoint.
What did Harry do? / What did Kyle do? → both came directly from Kim. Deflect, deflect, time for Kim to get checked (in that is)!
Oops. Eliminate the “feel”. ☺
I’m getting so tired of these “I know something awful, but it’s so horrible I won’t say it. No, I wouldn’t do that to you…” Bitch, you got nothing!
Kyle must have called her kids “assholes” / Called Kim a c-u-n-t / Taken a 23yr old usher into the bathroom / OR she got so wasted she was falling down & had to be carried out of the wedding while exposing her tampon.
Nah – that can’t be it. That’s acceptable, normal behavior!
On Kyle’s twitter, she had no idea what Brandi was talking about. Obviously she and Kim use the same play book.
Angel – Brandi didn’t attend Brooke’s wedding. Just like the “What did Harry do?” this information came directly from → KIM!
“Kim never mentioned you not being welcome at Brooke’s wedding; she also didn’t mention what you did at Brooke’s first wedding that was unspeakable… Kim protected you and didn’t speak of it, so I won’t go into details now, but we all know it was unforgiveable.”
Note how she says she won’t go into details “now” (but just wait for it – it’s coming)! (~_^)
Do you really think there is anything to go into? I wouldn’t believe anything that comes out of Kim’s or Brandi’s mouth.
So now she is saying LVP paid for Scheanan’s engagement and wedding? Did she not see Scheanna ask LVP about the alcohol and LVP saying you need to talk to Pandy about that. Pandora brought the alcohol and said something about a wedding gift from her and Jason. Yes, LVP upgraded Scheanna’s room in Miami but that’s all it was, an upgrade. Scheanna said they paid for the wedding from her settlement.
The wedding, bridal showers, bachelor/ette trips, alcohol, upgrades, all of it were paid for by Bravo.
On Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 4:03 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Wow, just wow. I just don’t even have words for this incoherent drivel. Although I LOL’d at your comment “..looks like an elderly puppet in her undergarments..” Nailed it!!
She just looks elderly. Brandi still has her “flow-jo”.
And proud too! Like jeez woman, do you want an award. YOU GO GIRL!
Do I get an award, too?
“…looking like an oompa loompa in a hot pink dress next to a cunt satchel who looks like an elderly puppet in her undergarments while they both revel in her despair.” I really just can’t, TT. Too funny. Hahaha
Your purple pen never disappoints, TT! The puppet pic is divine.
Given the clusterfuck that’s defined this season for both Brandi and Kim, what other options do they have to defend themselves aside from deflection? Facts and logic aren’t in their favor. Perhaps if either could articulate better and attack less, we might hear something they have to say.
As it is, it’s all “blow, winds and crack your cheeks!”
I’m telling you I don’t know whether it was alcohol, drugs, promiscuous sex or a combination but it arrested Brandi’s mentality at a 15 yr. old mean girl stage. She thinks she’s still that age as evidenced by her demeaning menopause comments to the ladies and her screwing up her face with surgery and fillers in her attempts to look young. She still think drinking or being high, showing her half naked ass or tampon string while being photographed has no negative consequences. She thinks using foul, crude language makes her cool. Brandi says whatever horrible thing that comes into that pea size brain of hers like a child having a tantrum. She and Kim are the Bad Girl Clique who cover up for each other just like teenage girls would do. She is nothing more than a vile, evil, spoiled, hate filled brat that needs to leave reality TV and spend serious time with a therapist for the sake of her sons if not for herself.
Spot on. I wish she would go to a therapist as she has obvious emotional problems.
Brandi acts as if she’s not quickly approaching peri-menopause herself. She’d better wake up and smell the coffee. She’s in for a shocker in the not too distant future. It’s not like she’s 22 and almost new herself.
lol. Nope, we all say “So Cal” 🙂 I will echo some of the same sentiments mentioned here already — it is RARE for someone who was born and raised here to say “Cali”. It just doesn’t sound right. When talking about the state as a whole, many of us just call CA by its full name. I’m not sure if Brandi wants to emphasize the fact that she lives in “southern CA”? Was she even born here? I’m not sure where she’s originally from.
She was raised in Sacramento. It’s clear that her blog is written by someone who doesn’t live in CA.
It makes me sad and embarrassed that Brandi is from my city. Sorry southern California…. you can keep her.
Brandi didn’t write the blog. I was pointing out the gaping issues the ghost writer has when trying to write as Brandi. Southern Cali, football, politics, etc. None of these are things that Brandi would write in a blog if she were the author.
On Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 5:10 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Your right T.T,(but of course you are), Brandi doesn’t speak this way, even when she is doing her Podcast. I would rather she do a Q&A than have this B.S of a blog.
@SoCalCPA, yeah SoCal is used from time to time. I think ‘Cali”, is used on television when people on television are trying to act like a person from California.But People who are from California..Use the city to define them I from Compton, Valencia, Pasadena, or for short, Orange county, L.A. “Cali” is equal to my New Orleans(pronouncing EVERY syllable).
true!
It would be great, just sweet if someone, anyone would call Brandi and Kim on this “I know something but I won’t say”. Just call their bluff and say to Andy, “they don’t have anything”. They’ll whip out the rumor, no matter how inane.
And I’ll bake brownies for the first HW that responds to Brandi’s next snarky comment about still having her period with “that’s great Brandi but in this group, you’re the only one that needed her satchel rejuvenated.”
@spk, Oh God, that would be hilarious. I’m actually surprised no one has thought to say that to her given the fact she sets herself up for such a comment with her sleazy ways.
It’s true! She brags that she had a rejuvenation but never seems to realize that that implies she felt she NEEDED a rejuvenation. I bet it will be said to her by someone, soon.
… and that will be the last time I mention BG’s satchel. Blech.
She is very proud of her titanium vagina.
29 comments & nearly ½ have to do with “Cali”.
באמת?
Speaking for myself (as one of the 1/2 that brought up “Cali”), I enjoy commenting on items I can relate to in some capacity. I don’t like going on about Brandi ad nauseum, but the “Cali” thing is something that hits home for me because, well, it does let you know if someone is from here or not. You may continue to see more. Sorry if it bothers you (not really).
A lot of time & energy is put into writing these recaps. If you don’t want to progress past the 1st paragraph, that’s your prerogative. And glad you told me you were from the area. There’s no way I would’ve guessed. ⊙.☉
Nothing to be sorry for on my end. Especially since you agreed with me, and it was my first major point in the blog to support the premise that it was not written by Brandi or anyone from California for that matter.
On Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 5:51 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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😛
Addie! I like you, why you being so mean?
I truly didn’t think I was being mean & I actually reworded it not to come off that way. Like anyone that subscribes to TT blogs I get email alerts when comments come through & nearly everyone was “Cal” / “Cali” / “So Cal” / “California” & they continued. I didn’t direct my comment at SoCalCPA but he/she chose to respond aggressively saying they didn’t like talking about Brandi (on a blog re Brandi)! ⊙.☉
[I actually checked – maybe I wrongly left the comment on 1 of her new travel related blogs!]
The blog was rich with so much more + I clearly remember her Shah’s exclusive. In retrospect I do see the difference – in this blog TT mentioned “Cali” whereas she didn’t question the day of the wedding (but I wasn’t looking forward to another shutdown). 😉
If I was truly mean I would’ve posted my reply to SoCal sticking his/her tongue out at me like a fucking 2yr old.
BTW: I like you too☺
Dreadful ghostwriter, unable to read the entire post.
That picture of Madame is spot on. I keep trying to find something of Brandi from her likeable yesteryears, hard to believe this is the same woman. Thanks for Wayland Flowers’ memories:)
As soon as I got to “I’m combative by nature but tired of the game”… Nope. That is NOT Brandi writing this. She can barely put together a coherent squeal, let alone understand what her nature is.
Thanks, Tamara. Dissecting Brandi’s pea brain is not an easy task. These purple pen days make me CRAZY with annoyance!
I was born in San Diego and have lived in southern Ca my entire life. I have never heard the term Brandi used-or whoever is writing for her. Her blog is a mess, as usual.
We have our own slang, like bario, esco, etc;)
I live in “Southern Cali” and no one who lives in Southern California refers to it as “Southern Cali”, and the only time I would use the word ‘Southern’ is when someone ask for specifics. I think I am in love with the purple writing. I can’t wait to see it, I smile once its there and I am sad when its over, but then I want MORE and I can’t seem to get enough. Maybe I am addicted to the purple writing. At any rate, Brandi’s ghost writer doesn’t have enough respect for Brandi to at least pretend to be her. It would be sad if Brandi wasn’t such a horrible person.
ADDICTED??? Better grab Kim and the two of you can head off to rehab!
😉
TT, I nearly choked on the baby carrot I was eating when I read “a cunt satchel who looks like an elderly muppet in her undergarments” Hahaha. You’re hilarious and spot on..Brandi should find a new Muppeteer, though. Katherine makes her look more ridiculous than usual.
TT, do you have any tea on what Kyle was supposed to have done at Brooke’s first wedding? Why does the girl have to get remarried? Inquiring minds are dying to know! Thanks!
She has gotten so much filler that her eyes are becoming slanted !! Truly.. She needs to cozy up to Paul to get on an episode of botched.
True dat! Hopefully, she’ll be shopping for a new show to be on in the very near future. She’s like that woman who said some injected her with cement. Why oh why does any woman feel they have to do this to themselves? I’m also talking to youl Kyle. Your skin is was stretched so thin on that reunion, my heart was hurting for you. You were beautiful, now you look like somebody who is wearing someone else’s skin on your face. Let’s hope it relaxes and you look human again soon. Please STOP messing with your face before you, too, have to appear on “Botched.” Seriously.
I want to know as well !! Didn’t Brandi tell Kristin taekman that kyle got totally wasted and made a scene?
I’m sure Kyle did hit up the bar, I doubt she did anything worse than anyone else does at a big family wedding with an open bar.
Um, not that I have any personal experience in this area.
On Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 6:55 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Kyle didn’t do anything at the wedding. The girl is getting remarried because the first one was a rush job in case her Daddy died. The second on is possibly a destination wedding in Cabo… with more bells and whistles. The grooms family own FatBurgers and are most likely footing the bill for both. The girl and the MIL get along very well. Almost as if someone is thrilled to have a sober, sane maternal figure.
On Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 6:50 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Dang. Go Brooke!
So that’s why Kyle uses FatBurgers at the White parties. Thanks, TT, was wondering.
Maybe she did splits on the bar, oh my!
LOL, I miss Kyle doing the splits everywhere.
Lol an elderly puppet.. Yes !!! An elderly Muppet!!!
If Brandi “brings” the audience, where’s her spinoff? Hmmmm what would her spinoff be? The Wine/Whine Hour? Celebrity Darts where she sticks images of the people she’s brawling with on a board? Burn Book with Brandi?
Bleep, bleep, bleep. Bloop, bloop, bleeb…. something along those lines. Before she gets spinoff somebody has to fund the “Trash Channel”.
“All the Things a Decent Mother Won’t Do or Say”
Tldr; “Bad Mom”
She doesn’t just offend me, she PISSES ME OFF to say that I watch Vanderpump Rules because of her. No, I watch it because my damn TV is always on in the background and usually just chilling on the Bravo channel.
Wow, Brandi has made me highly aggressive tonight. I TRIED SO HARD TO ROOT FOR YOU, TRASHY BITCH!
Whew.
Dang BH Wannabe, you are on fire tonight …loving it!!
Yeah, pretty sure a Xanax is in order.
Oh, seriously, who are we kidding, it’s never just A Xanax… A few should do the job. Maybe I’ll be loving Brandi once they kick in!
😉
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again:
BravoTV presents ‘Brandi and Kim’s crosscountry pub crawl”.
Laugh and cry together as we watch Brandi and Kim travel across the USA enabling each other’s addiction issues, complimenting each other’s mothering abilities as they swill wine on the campervan carpet, discuss Brandi’s period (and Kim’s lack of) and trash talk Kyle Richards together.
10pm/9pm CT
@Micheal: so, it’s basically rhobh + van?
Exactly. But with 100% more period/menopause insults. The reunion special would be filmed in Kim’s loungeroom with Brandi’s gaybff as host.
Sounds like Charlie Brown attempting yet failing the punt. Argh. It must be difficult to be a Monday morning quarterback. Lucy charges 5 cents for psychiatric advice. Brandi should bring 15 cents so she can pay for herself and her “it was a dark and stormy night,..” ghostwriters.
If I could tell Brandi one thing, it would be to get a better ghostwriter.
I have so many things… but if I ran into her I think I’d say, “You aren’t cool. Or young. You’re Peggy Bundy minus the humor and charm.”
Good One!
I heard Brandi’s moving again. Isn’t it funny that when every season ends, her lease is up??
Maybe because the owners of her houses watch the show and don’t want her in their houses anymore after all her trashiness.
Pure speculation, of course.
Brandi must think that all RHOBH viewers subscribe to the trashy tabloids like she does. Maybe “Star” was the tabloid she tried to accuse Lisa V. of encouraging her to pack last season. I would have never known about the circumstances of Eileen’s divorce if it hadn’t been for Brandi’s big mouth. She may have found the information online, but I doubt if many other people would have gone looking for it. I felt sorry for Eileen when she said she had to sit their kids down to explain things after that episode aired. Brandi keeps sinking lower and lower.
Kyle brought up Brooke’s (second??) wedding right after Kim made the comment about “things coming up” and needing to decide what to do before these things “come up.” Meaning the wedding? Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I immediately thought that Kim saying she didn’t want to dis-invite Kyle was basically saying…Kyle is being dis-invited. I would love to know how much Kyle helped those kids while Kim was in an alcoholic haze.
Can’t you just see Brandi repeatedly telling Kim “you know that KATHY would have supported you better than Kyle?”
If episode three of the reunion offers more of Andy teeing up softballs for Km and Brandi, practically helping them answer questions while shushing Lisa R., I may finally be disgusted enough to swear off the show for good.
Look I don’t think Kathy was looking after Kim’s kids while Kim was downing booze. I don’t think Kathy really took care of her kids. I am sure staff did. Think about it Brooke is 29. Kim says she has been sober for the second time around for 3 years. It’s been stated that Kim was sober for 10 years before. 29 – 13= 16. I don’t know when she started drinking but that’s a lot of years that I’m sure Kyle was right there for Kim’s kids.
Brooke or Brooke’s MIL can invite Kyle since the MIL is probably paying for the wedding. I doubt Kim has much to do with it. Why would they need Kim’s input?
A little off topic but, when is someone going to bring up what Brandi said about Kim being “worse than you know”, using a patch, and talking to her addition specialist friend about Kim’s sobriety? I am waiting for Kim’s response.
I was thinking the same thing. All that seemed to come from that conversation was that everyone was hung up on the word ‘intervention’. To me the ‘worse than you know’ comment was much more interesting and I don’t know why they are letting that one slide. I guess we still have 1 more part to the reunion.
It’s because Andy SUCKS as an interviewer. He’s seriously the worst. He needs to fire himself and bring in someone who can actually ask the questions the rest of us want answered. He asks stupid questions about someone’s kid making some comment about chub chubs. She’s 15?16? Of course she’s going to make a comment like that. Put a camera near a 15 year old for a few hours and they will all make a questionable comment here or there. I want to know why a 40 something year old woman thinks it’s okay to insult another woman by using menopause as the insult, why she brought up her friend’s sobriety why she told Lisa R. Kim’s issues are worst than anyone knows, why Kim thinks it’s okay to be on a reality show and not be mentioned. Andy is either a moron, or he knows that he can’t call these idiots out on their shit because he wants them to continue acting like fools.
RIGHT! That patch item is a very damaging statement. Andy won’t bring it up, bet me. That was swept under the rug. I’ve been waiting for some reporter to pick that up. Still waiting.
I hope they show the footage.
Two women who got “a little out of sorts”. Is that when Kim was acting batshit crazy in the limo and Brandi pushed Kyle and was slurring that Kyle has done nothing for Kim? I guess that is just like throwing “two tablespoons of wine”.
I cant believe Brandi signs off on these delusional blogs. It says a lot when her fans dont bother defending her. Lately, they just attack LVP, LeAnn, Rinna and anyone else to deflect attention off her.
I just took a good look at the picture. Is Brandi doing Broadway with Nene??
That is totally the perfect picture for Brandi’s blog. (Allegedly.)
I hate how people can’t take another opinion or advice, that would improve themselves/their lives. Any time you have any opposition to things they’ve said or done people call you “jealous” or a “hater.” I’m not a hater because I hate HER. I just wish I could sit Brandi down and tell her how she’s being received. I can’t imagine any one would knowingly behave in such a way.
God, I know. My pet peeve: “She’s just jealous of her.” Etc.
No, disliking someone, disagreeing, conflict: they aren’t because one adult is jealous of another. Too old to act like middle schoolers. Well, should be too old to resort to the “jealous” bullshit.
I see Brandi picked up a tip from Kim – say someone did some atrocious, unspeakable thing but don’t say what it is, sully their character with no proof.
Ps love the madam picture
One day soon, Brandi, your ovaries will dry up, you will oversecrete FSH, and you’ll soon be in menopause. In fact,your bad behaviour can be attributed to premenopause.
I figured out why Eddie dumped yo for Leanne. It’s not looks because you once were prettier. I think it’s the voice. She has a lovely speaking voice and you , to quote WC Fields, sound like a monsoon whistling up an cardboard asshole.
SoCali indeed. You have less intelligence than a head of lettuce from Salinas. Please proof your ghost writer.
It had to be that voice screaming and babbling. It’s pitch is so high that my dog runs from the t.v. when she is speaking. It is intolerable. And ever so strange coming out of a seven foot preying mantis with feet and hands like snow shoes. It sounds like a pig’s death rattle.
Pigs death rattle..priceless.
. . .sound like a monsoon whistling up an cardboard asshole.” Please stop! I’m in hysterics. I love WC.
Should be aardvark, but obviously my autocorrect does not recognize plebian, aardvark…wait it has Brandi’s vocabulary. Do you think she signs her name with a little heart over the i?
Parasitic Nematode,,,,,,,,LMAO!!!!!!!
The purple pen here reigns. Great responses. Setting the tone Miss TT!
Brandi will burn through this relationship with Kim like she has with the others, leaving nothing but a shambkng withered soulless husk in her wake. Which may be an upgrade for Kim.
It seemed like you were describing her skin and hair.
Why is Brooke having another wedding? Wasn’t her first wedding really recent? I’m confused.. 🙁
Okay, this is BEYOND FUCKING RIDICULOUS. God, I was a Brandi fan, then a secret Brandi fan, decided maybe “neutral” was better, then I kept trying, I tried so hard, and CHRIST! I CANNOT STAND this dumb bitch.
Okay. I have been thinking this and can’t hold it back any longer:
Brandi needs to look up the definition of assault and battery. I will spare every one my little paralegal definitions, but she has technically committed assault and battery on this show a bunch of times. Shut the fuck up about it, Brandi.
Also, STOP fixating on all people related to your divorce like almost a decade ago! She is obsessed with Schaena. So she watched all of Vanderpump Rules, obviously. I wouldn’t admit that if I was her.
Shit I’m done. I hate her and the worst part is that dumb people never realize how incredibly dumb they are!
It’s so funny because Brandi has been conditioned to gain sympathy/favor by squawking about Eddie’s affair, mistresses, marriage to homewrecking LeAnn. She hasn’t realized that it only works when her behavior is sympathetic/wounded/kind/neutral. Once she shows her tampon streaking ugly drunky self, no one is left on her side. We all see Eddie’s side. We all feel bad her kids aren’t with LeAnn more than Brandi. We’ve seen she’s a bad friend, bad wife, bad mom, and the worst tv personality. She’s like spray string. Kinda surprising and amusing the first time, lackluster and desperate the second, and annoying and a goddamn mess no one wants to clean up after or invite each time thereafter.
Y’all are talking about Brandi like she is a Dungeons and Dragons character ie her alignment is neutral evil.
xanadude: i dont know why, buy your comment made me laugh my ass off. Especially when I imagined myself (video game character) climbing up a ladder onto a platform and punching her in the face inside a moving train… then I realized I was thinking about Double Dragon.
OMG, you are sooooo much better than Brandi’s ghostwriter at analogies!!! Wait, no, I think most everyone is better than the ghostwriter. You deserve more props for one of the most random, yet spot on analogies ever! And for making me laugh and pulling me out of Brandi-induced rage!
Holy shit, silly string: you’re so right! Next season someone needs to spray her with silly string out of the blue, in the middle of a nice dinner (a la Eileen and the wine toss) because that’s all I’m going to think about now when I see Brandi.
We need a portable hole so we can shove Brandi in it.
This post! 100 times yes.
As TT said, Brandi’s blog was not written by her. That made it even more difficult to read.
Last year I was still hoping Brandi would stop her crap and realize she was in a unique position to advance her life. Nope stupid Brandi stayed stupid.
CalliPatti was name I took at a different site years ago because there were Pats, Patti’s, so I added what came to mind. There are other Callipatti’s too. I’ve tried several times to go to Patti (hate Calli) but WordPress won’t allow it. I need a different email.
I’m a proud CenCal, and yes the Bay Area is it’s own self. Funny how we think here.
Wonder who will win the water war?
Don’t stress on your “Cali”. It sounds good as Calipatti, and I mean, I’m “BH Wannabe”. ‘Nuff said.
BH Thank You. That was kind.
It is embarrassing at times, yet I don’t care at other times.
OMG I just remembered one of my favorite people on Twitter is a guy called CaliSteve! Clearly, I like the Cali nics!
Calipatti is cute. The song about going back to cali is cute. I have nothing against the term Cali. The point was people in California don’t say the live in southern Cali when they live in BH. Or L.A. Cali in a Internet nickname is adorbs. Now BH Wannabe….lol. JK BH.
Thank You TT, also kind of you.
Wishing you good health next week.
I tell you, that little Brandi, on that show “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” seems like such a sweet little gal. The way she talks and dresses is a little bit bold, but really it’s like all of the young women do this day and age. And she seems like she’s just truly devoted to those children of hers.
Shame on that awful husband of hers for abandoning her that way. She just acts out a little bit on account of her loneliness. Nothing that a little age and wisdom won’t cure. She’ll be alright.
SAID NO ONE.
In a funny way, your post sounded a little like the way Lisa V spoke about Brandi, in the early stages of their friendship.
I love this comment.
Southern Cali?? No one says that here! What an idiot.
TT you slayed them perfectly. It feels good to know I have someone I can count on to keep it real, honest, and on point every time. Thank you.
So, has brandi been vindicated yet?
Loved your post. You expressed very eloquently exactly what I felt about Brandi’s blog. If Bravo doesn’t listen to the audience and fires this botox filled train wreck, I am done with this show. She is not helping ratings, she is destroying the show
I don’t care what anyone says. After all the menopause comments I’ve heard Brandi make, I’m convinced she stole Vivica’s phone and tweeted what she did. I’ve NEVER heard Kenya mention menopause or use it as an attack on someone. I wouldn’t put it past manipulative Brandi to do something like that.
Or …. also as likely, that happening with Vivica’s phone was when Brandi learned a new word, saw all the publicity it got and she just adopted it. Now she just says it over and over and over.
Kenya probably just enjoyed it and wished she had done it, but you’re right, it’s was probably menopause hater Brandi. I’m relishing the thought of her personal summers right now.
I’m pretty sure Kristen Doute made Lisa V famous with VPR.
This bitch has got to go. She is not right. A little scary.
Not to beat a dead horse or anything but regarding the “Cali” thing, I wrote earlier that Tupac called it Cali in a song which I did think was odd because he lived in Oakland, Ca (not sure how long). So out of the blue my husband who knows nothing of this convo starts playing that song and I stand corrected Notprious BIG sings it,(Tupac sang “California Love”). Thought it was too weird he just put that song on and then realized I was wrong! OK, that’s all.
For the record:
L.L. Cool J did Going Back to Cali
Tupac did California Love (but does say, “Cali” and “Diego” and “Frisco”)
Notorious B.I.G. re-did Going Back to Cali (oddly as a threat to Tupac)
*Roger Troutman co-wrote both Tupac’s California Love and Biggie’s Going Back to Cali
@Shay, Thanks, your knowledge of those songs is definitely better than mine. I like them all but obviously don’t the words to them very well, lol.
Meredo: sadly, my memory is full. You apparently only have so much room. I can remember every dinner party I’ve thrown and what was served, every event, history of hiphop, math through linear algebra, how to do econometrics in excel to build a mutual fund portfolio, but have almost zero memory of the past 2 years. I went to costco the other day with my sister and had to sit down (on the dog food, in the freezer section, on sugar) because my pain was unbearable. My sister then SHOWED me pictures of my sleeping on similar items in various stores (target, nordstrom, costco) and I don’t remember doing it ONCE. Either my memory is full or my lemon-sized brain tumor is fucking shit up. I’m a 37 year old that is on repeat like an 84 year old. I’m glad you can play the poor grandkids who pretend it’s their first time hearing it and pretend it’s interesting.:)
Is it only me who believes that the “big bombshell” is that Brandi is moving to NY?
Yes it is only you. The big bombshell is that Rinna sent poor pitiful Kim a mean text or two.
On Sun, Apr 12, 2015 at 2:06 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
They should do housewives boxing. I would do pay-per-view to see Heather beat the shit out of Brandi, Phaedra punching Kim Richard’s in the face, Porsha and Kenya head-to-head, NeNe going at it with one of the fit Miami wives or Heather from NY? What match ups would you guys make?
Hmm. That’s a pretty crappy “bombshell”. If I had Kim’s number, I’d probably send her a text or two warning her to get the hell off of my TV. As a matter of fact, why would Kim even have a phone? Are there really people trying to call her?
She should just get one of those little “Ladybug” phones that only call 911. That way she still has access for Kingsley’s victims and accidental overdoses.
“Lisa R. exhaustively trying to change every topic (wether it was about her or not) to her own addiction”
Whoever wrote this misspelled “whether”.