It’s a sunny day in Southern Cali, and I’m having fun hanging with my BFF Darrin. It’s our birthday shopping day, which is always fun.
You know who refers to L.A. as “Southern Cali?” Someone from New Orleans. Apparently, when the boys are on spring break with Eddie and Leann, there is no need for an ode to the two little spawn for public relations purposes. Also, stop trying to make Bravoistas work.
Argh, the reunion. What is there to say? It was as fun for me to endure then as it was for me to relive a second time for you all. Ha, clearly I’m kidding! Watching it unfold as opposed to experiencing it only makes me wish I had a second chance to ignore those who didn’t deserve an answer. I’m combative by nature but tired of the game.
I see we have given up even the smallest attempt at writing in the voice of a drunken 40 something with the IQ of a parasitic nematode.
I see offensive lineman, Lisa V. waiting to hurl her thought-out scripted attacks, regardless of whether they fit at all into our conversation, Lisa R. exhaustively trying to change every topic (wether it was about her or not) to her own addiction about anything to do with addiction, Eileen trying to fake a pass by laying her earned reputation on me, and cowardly Kyle waiting to piggyback any tackle.
Seriously? Has Brandi even seen a football game in her life? Why couldn’t Lisa Rinna get a cool football position? She was MVP and the star quarterback, duh. Eileen was clearly the kicker landing three points here and there before returning to the bench to quietly watch the game without wrestling anyone in the dirt. And one dogpiles a tackle, Katherine. One does not piggyback a tackle. You suck at football analogies.
Kim and I were obviously playing defense. Only I was really over it at this point.
True. Kim and Brandi were playing defense about as well as Texas A&M, another team who seems “really over it” at this point. We call this losing the game in a shutout.
(Warning: snark ahead)
Lisa V.: Newsflash, IF you ever admitted to ANY of the righteous back stabbing you’ve done to your so-called “friends” and apologized for it, we could also all refuse to accept your apologies as well, but as you say, you are perfect. Though I think if you asked Stassi or Cedric (if anyone can find him), they might have a different opinion. But, since you never admit to anything wrong EVER, it seems unlikely you would start now.
I don’t think righteous means what you think it means. Are you using the “royal we?” Because other than the active addict, and occasionally the woman who admits to being brain damaged, there is no one on your side. I do recommend that you work earnestly to cultivate Stassi and Cedric as your friend. You have so much in common as the triumvirate of trash that LVP has had taken to the curb. Also, you appear to be turning a bit green. Something you ate?
I don’t know; maybe you could go throw my ex-husband’s mistress another engagement party or wedding or maybe pay for their honeymoon. The way I see it, you talked me into giving you an intro for Vanderpump Rules, I delivered our audience and our ratings for you, so maybe be happy. That’s what you wanted since you were a cameo on Silk Stalkings, to be famous on TV. Go celebrate your newfound fame with pink roses and some rosé wine. Stop nagging at me about it.
We have clearly stepped into the realm of delusion. I could see Brandi emailing Katherine this drivel, but this is the best she could do to clean it up? Brandi is utterly fixated on Scheanna. She desperately wants to be her. Which could explain the short skirts and speech of a 15 year old. It just kills her that everyone else has previous acting experience. Really she’s going back to 1963 when LVP was on Silk Stalkings? Lisa is famous because of Vanderpump Rules and this all do to Brandi? Brandi Glanville is actually calling Lisa Vanderpump a fame whore? Has the pot has never met the kettle even socially? LVP is not even speaking to Brandi, let alone nagging her. And why would she nag Brandi about her fame? Does the author of this crap not know the word “nagging” either? Perhaps she meant bragging about her fame? LVP has plenty of soft underbelly to poke, but Brandi forgoes all of that to whine about the parts of LVP that make her the most jealous.
Lisa R… is crazy.
ONE night last year, two chauffeur-driven adult women over 40 went to an adult poker game and both, although in separate cars, got a little out of sorts. Well, someone better call Anderson Cooper, because that game was OBVIOUSLY worthy of a year-long discussion, a congressional hearing, a military tribunal, and may even turn out to be bigger than the Lewinsky scandal [To be left out during any hearing: intent to choke, projectile glass shards, assault, battery, and criminal threats.], and this is BH not DC.
I have no idea what is a poorer choice of analogies when trying to write a blog as Brandi, football or politics. I assure you she know nothing about either. It seems she is trying to say she has a problem with Lisa Rinna discussing the on camera relapse of an addict on a reality show of which she is a paid participant. As opposed to Brandi discussing off camera addiction problems with the same reality show participant that are “worse than anyone knows.” Because, like it or not when an addict relapses in a truly sad and dramatic way while filming a reality show, it becomes everyone’s storyline. Attacking the person it impacted most, for being unsettled and concerned is simply more disgusting behavior from an uncouth excuse for a female.
Eileen, you were married. He was married; they had children. You were caught by a photographer. It was in the tabloids. Your husband sued you for divorce. His wife sued him for divorce. The Star re-published the story in August 2014 as “Eileen Davidson: RHOBH’s New Homewrecker!” All this happened and was published long before I ever met you. Now you brought it up at the reunion and made it a topic again. How is this in any way related to me? Own it, move on.
This is related to Brandi when Brandi hurls the accusation at a new participant on a reality show they are filming. You see, the sorts of people, like Brandi, who read and believe Star magazine as the gospel of gossip probably don’t have the sense to work a remote control. It is related to Brandi because she hurled the insult with glee just as she did the glass of wine, unprovoked and for no reason other than gross insecurity. It is something that Brandi needs to own, feel some remorse about and for which Brandi should humbly beg forgiveness.
Kyle, Kim never mentioned you not being welcome at Brooke’s wedding; she also didn’t mention what you did at Brooke’s first wedding that was unspeakable… Kim protected you and didn’t speak of it, so I won’t go into details now, but we all know it was unforgiveable. You look unhinged. Throwing your crazy around where it doesnt fit in, plus your weird, fake out-of-place “wah hhhh” crying. Enough said.
Kyle’s crying was an appropriate reaction to seeing her high, addict sister for the first time in four months sitting across from her looking like an oompa loompa in a hot pink dress next to a cunt satchel who looks like an elderly puppet in her undergarments while they both revel in her despair. Brandi the one that doesn’t fit in. And everyone sees it but Brandiloons.