We return to Shahs of Sunset the morning after GG made her startling accusations to Mike. Poor Mike. You know what I like the morning after a bender? I like to be woken up by a film crew and recounting how I was accused of some sort of sexual misconduct with my spouse. Oh wait. No one likes that. I don’t believe this was “the next morning.” But that is the storyline so let’s pretend.
Jessica is pouting on the neatly made bed. Jessica says she is mortified by what happened. Mike is managing to use GG as the mutual enemy. We are two minutes in and the term “pinky swear” is used. Jessica screams at him for being friends with all of them. Jessica hates everyone. Yet they all get invited to the wedding except for GG. Jessica tells Mike he is not allowed to defend himself to any of his friends. She totally wears the pants in this relationship. 
Reza
Asa is at Reza’s apartment to discuss the Mike situation. Asa is upset that she and Reza being held accountable for something that supposedly happened a year ago in Turkey that they were completely unaware of. GG shows up expecting to be comforted and that is not going to happen. GG says that Mike did not try to force himself on her. So what exactly did he do? What is the big deal? GG wants to take a polygraph test. This is some kind of really fucked up storyline. However, in real time, Mike is still not close with this group. It would seem it only gets worse from here.
Mercedeh
Reza goes to visit MJ and Charlie. MJ is about to introduce Charlie to her mother. He mother is the Iranian equvilent of Mama Jocye. MJ is enjoying a traditional Iranian favorite dish. Reddi Wip straight from the can. #Klassy It is weird watching this knowing that Charlie is a giant asshole. Is Charlie seriously a dog walker? Reza and Charlie role play the conversation between Charlie and MJ’s mother as MJ straddles the back of the sofa and pleasures herself. Meanwhile, somewhere, Mike Shouhed is shitfaced.
Vida was not told she was meeting Charlie. It’s awkward. It’s a brunch at MJ’s house. She is pretty much displeased with everything. Vida says that Charlie is not tall. He is only 6’1″. MJ tells her mother Charlie loves her. He says he “cares about her very much.” Awkward.
GG
Asifa is still mysteriously living with GG. Asifa is trying to pack up and move in with Bobby. She mistakenly thinks GG will help her pack. This is a good scene to get a snack. Later we are treated to a fake wake up scene at Asifa and Bobby’s new place. YAWN. Let’s get to the stupid engagement.
I didn’t know GG had rheumatoid arthritis. That makes me sad.
Mike
Mike has rented Rolls Royce convertible to drive the two hours to the skydiving site in Santa Barbara. I miss that freak show of a soap opera. The video they watched is giving me a panic attack. Any activity that involves signing a legal document that says I might die during the experience is not something I would do. People are idiots. Trying not to die is pretty much the primary goal of every day. And it’s actually harder than you might think already. Mike is sufficiently terrified. This was all Jessica’s idea.
Mike proposes and jumps. Jessica is screaming and crying the whole way down. She has her eyes closed and is screaming that she is going to be a wife. She is missing the entire experience. Mike is loving the jump. I can see him wanting to do it again. Jessica may want a do over because she was not present during the entire jump.
Mike has a huge sign and a picnic set up. And he gives her the ring. Well he screams, “Hey! Come look at your ring!” It’s all rather unromantic, despite all the trapping. Jessica seems thrilled about “being a wife” as if it were her life’s goal. She is having some sort of mental breakdown. She keeps asking if this is real life.
Next week: Dodge ball happens. What could possibly go wrong there? Also we will have to envision Reza having sex. I am not sure I can stomach that.
Jessica gets to wear the pants because she has a bigger dool.
It’s mind blowing how Jessica believes Mike is faithful. After reading TT’s recent exclusive – the only thing that makes sense / why she believes him — is that his dick is detachable & she keeps it with her at all times.
Then again, she could just be THAT foolish! ⊙.☉
Remeber that song “detachable penis “
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover & my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It’s detachable
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached –
but Jessica won’t allow it.
LOL on the dool comment. Also the recap was hilarious and so was the show. The role playing scene with Reza and Charlie was beyond hilarious. This is all so fake that it’s precious. What did Jessica think she was going through all that conversion stuff for if not to eventually be “a wife”. God, these people are dumb. Another highlight (may I should insert the word Low instead of high?) was watching MJ suck down that Whipped cream. I kept picturing pigs oinking in the distance.
Haha awesome
Wait what’s the tea on Charlie being a “giant asshole”? Did I miss it in a prior post?
I probably didn’t post about it. Maybe just in comments. The short version is Charlie had another girlfriend the entire time and just wanted to be on the show.
Too bad he was kinda hot. #Cub
Ooooh nooo poor MJ
Been waiting for your Shah’s recap. I feel asleep before the Rolls Royce & parachute jump (& slept for 15 hours). The role playing w/Reza & Charlie was a riot & thanks for letting us know what MJ was doing (that was just weird)! As usually Vida didn’t disappoint (in her disappointment).
Vida seems to be the only smart one on the show….LOL ! At least she isn’t pretending she really is a BITCH!! I respect the hell out of that!!
There’s certainly no surprises with Vida. That’s actually one of my major pet peeves – bitches that pretend to be nice. If you’re going to be a bitch, at least own it. Have some damn pride woman! ☺
Good recap Tamara.
See, Mike’s girlfriend/fiancé/wife Jessica screaming was getting on my nerves. Is that mean? I don’t mean to be. Just how I felt watching.
I was frustrated with Jessica because although Gigi being an azz by now telling this, how naive Jess was being. I do believe Mike tried to get it on Gigi or something did happen, I think this is brought up either for a story line or Gigi wants trouble. I don’t know, I just don’t trust Reality TV anymore. Lol
If it is mean then I’m definitely mean because I was yelling at the TV for her to “shut-up” (theses Bravo shows tend to make me do that a lot!). I thought it was the most unromantic proposal I have ever seen. Especially given the fact that we now know Mike is a cheater, well allegedly I guess. I just can’t stand Jessica this season, from her face to her personality…yuk.
TT , I had the same thought of MJ when she was straddling the couch, lol.
Great recap as always!
The most unromantic awkward proposal was Gretchen to Slade but this a close second.
YES!! I totally agree with you about Jessica. She has THE ugliest face… I just Can’t with that girl!! If she stays away from Mikes group, she “thinks” Mike will stay faithful to her? Look at GiGi Vs. Jessica….Please!! I think GiGi is telling the truth and Mike will most likely Always cheat or flirt. It’s not too hard to find most other females better looking than that Wide Eyed Big Mouth he’s with. She is in TOTAL denial…SMH
Jessica’s screaming got on my damn nerves!!! I mean shit was she that desperate to marry a JACK-HOLE!!! MJ rubbing her coochie on the couch was funny sorry it just was!!!!
why is Charlie an ass again? I like him.. i’m happy for MJ… Jessica was so over the top.. I thought it was a little nuts… and I too was sad for GG to be so young geeshhh with arthritis? I do believe GG that he was inappropriate.. he certainly changed his plans fast to get her to the altar when that info came out.. and I think his “friends” believe it too. though they are going to be careful on TV to say what they truly think of “mike”… I doubt he’ll ever be close with the “crew” with the gestapo wife.. 🙂
Jessica makes me sad. I know women who just want to “be a wifey” and it doesn’t matter who with. It’s a recipe for disaster.
Agree. I think that Jessica is the type of person who can’t admit when they are wrong. Of course we don’t know much about her, but I wonder if she’s been defending her relationship to friends and family who may question her jumping through so many hoops. She has convinced herself this is what should be. Her reaction to the proposal was way too over the top. I’m going to be a wife not I’m going to be YOUR wife.
I think getting proposed to is like being shit-faced; your real personality comes out. I knew I was getting proposed to and I’m kind of a beast… so, i practiced answering the question with, “I’d be honored to.” Super classy lady, right? I ended up shouting, “Shut your face!” at least 3 times.
Mike knew she was desperate to be wifed up. That’s why he can cheat on her, with cameras nearby and have no worries. No matter what he did up to that point, he knew she would lose her shit no matter when he asked, how, etc. (Look at your ring…before it goes back to the jeweler for a Diamonique!)
Yes, I got the”..a wife” too. Jessica said “a wife” two or three times.
I noticed that Jessica is quiet around the “gang” and hardly speaks at all. But we now know she can talk and have fun if she really wants to. The group is a bit rowdy when they get all together! Well, let’s say a LOT rowdy! 😉
Mike totally RUINED Jessica’s 1st sky diving experience. He should have said nothing & let her jump & just enjoy the dive; and then right before she lands she would see the banner on the ground “Will You Marry Me”. It would have been the better way.
Mike can’t help himself – it’s in his genetics.
He’s always fucking things [up]!
The story is he did it in the plane to be closer to her mother who is believed to be in heaven.
On Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 6:35 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Okay, that is really sweet. My eyes are leaking again.
The whole time I kept thinking, “Why is he ruining her jump?”
Also, why did Mike think it was a good idea to ask Jessica to marry him right after GG ran her mouth? Now, Jessica’s engagement (and wedding) are forever linked to Mike’s cheating scandal. Every time she looks at her ring, she’s going to think of his wandering dool. Stupid. But, hey, at least she’s a wife…
I won’t even go there…. But I so want to. These people really are SO FUCKING DUMB.
I agree! He says “marry me” and then disappears out a plane door?? Maybe he wanted more camera time 😉 Letting her enjoy her first dive and have that banner slowly come into view would have been very sweet.
Yeah, the banner was way sweeter. And since he landed first, he could’ve been waiting (with the ring) on his knee as she landed. Instead he actually made the proposal story about HIM.
Totally Agree!! I hated hearing her annoying scream , the entire way down !
That’s how Jwoww’s man Roger proposed.
Hilarious recap. The Jessica engagement thing also made me sad. She was beside herself to “be a wife.” It didn’t seem to have to do with Mike so much as her goal of being a wife. She seemed profoundly kind of sad and relieved that she would finally be a wife and have her own family since her mom died so young. I thought her reaction was not the norm for an engagement, and it did not feel like a happy moment to me.
Catching a varmint is more difficult than catching a man. Mike is one and the same.
“Meanwhile, Mike Shouhed is shitfaced” gets me every time lmao
as a big comic book nerd, I always hear the Batman TV Show Narrator or Gary Owens saying MEANWHILE…
Couldn’t believe Jessica’s reaction. I believe she was genuinely freaked out at being officially a fiance, but she really acted as if Oprah gave her a house or something. I think she’s still reacting next week. Seems her whole identity rested on this very moment. MJ’s mother is a mess.
Mike is a douche! And a tool! He deserves both words because he sucks so much. I can’t believe a woman can be so blind and actually think this guy is a catch! Yuck! Also I like MJ sucking whipping cream. It seems so real, in a show that is so fake.
Agreed, douche + tool = dool. Therefore, Mike is a dick!
“douche + tool = dool. Therefore, Mike is a dick!”
LOVE IT! ツ
OMG, I came to the same mathematical equation!
I got a little teary-eyed at first with the engagement, and then Jessica kept screaming and wailing. Her reaction seemed weird to me. Plus, it would have been a bit more romantic if Mike had put the ring on her finger, rather than yelling “shove it on!” GG says she doesn’t like to tell people about her R.A., then has her infusion filmed. If she is going for sympathy to counter act the Mike drama, it worked. (My SIL has had it since her late teens, and it’s pretty miserable.)
Dodge ball? With all the anger bubbling up from the group, I hope one of them knows a good plastic surgeon.
I’m sad to hear that Charlie was a fake. Poor M.J.
I saw the convertible ride but it looked like they were walking away from a SUV when they got to the jump place???
I’m confused, TT didn’t you once say Jessica’s father was a big shot or ceo of Fiji water? So she’s not with Mike for $$$, then it must be fame. Though she kicks and screams how much she hates the group it must be fame. Her recent twitter “photo shoots” scream “fame”. I keep saying fame cuz that’s the best I can come up with for her desperately latching on to Mike.
That is correct.
On Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 9:56 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Not everyone with rich parents gets anything/everything. I’ve been on my own since I went to college (at 16). I HATE it when people think my parents have had a hand at anything Ive done, because through my very difficult life they could’ve helped but didnt. And people still say to my face how great it is that I could accomplished X, and how they would do it if they had the help. It kind of discounts my hardwork and choices, you know?
Thank you Jesus Lord! I thought I was the ONLY one who HATED Jessica’s reaction. All I kept thinking was: all she cares about is being a “wife”. She defines herself solely by a “title” and although Mike thinks proposing from jumping off a plane is symbolic of being closer to her mother (in heaven). The opposite would have been more meaningful. A hot air balloon trip would symbolize ascending into the skies (i.e. heaven) whereas jumping out of a plane is symbolic of death (falling is symbolic of change and usually not for the good). I agree with another commenter who said that once they landed that’s when Mike should have popped the question. I now have more sympathy for GG then ever. People just never really liked her because she wasn’t afraid to put people in their place when she was being disrespected (i.e. MJ was the one who said Anita’s dress is several seasons old but GG got blamed for it. Sunny, Asa’s friend, jumped into a conversation that had nothing to do with her and instigated the dinner table argument. GG was trying to defend herself and say: “I never said Anita’s dress was horrible, I simply said that despite the fact that it’s seasons old, it’s still a beautiful dress on Anita”. MJ was the one who made the nasty comment. GG also hated Asa disrespecting her boyfriend’s laugh and nose REPEATEDLY. Again, Asa was in the wrong. GG’s sister is unfair to her. GG gets a bad rap. I know what it’s like when everyone sees you as the “bad guy” and you constantly have to defend yourself.
Mike – YOUR MOVE MAKES YOU LOOK GUILTY!!!!!!!! Bumping up the wedding date only proves GG has some degree of truth to what she is saying.
Jessica – shame! shame! shame! If she were truly in love, she’d say “I’m happy to be YOUR wife” – NOT – I’m happy to be a wife! Her reaction irked me.
On Charlie: is it better to be on a show for a fake reason and escape before being sucked into the morality tar pit that is SoS, like Adam and Jessica or to never have been on a TV show at all?
I agree Xanny Dude….it seems to me that Adam really kisses Reza’s ass !!! Reza isn’t giving him all that expensive stuff for nothing!!! Reza has said before wives are expected to be submissive in the culture $!! Adam should be jumping around like Jessica screaming I’m going be a wife I’m gonna be a wife LMAO
WHY does MJ insist on wearing clothes that are too small? It makes her look heavier than she is. And her make up is just atrocious! Usually in their testimonials they look better because they get “styled” she manages to look sloppy, greasy & dirtier than normal.
Jessica…. Enoygh with the dramatics! You’ve been demanding a proposal for 2 years and ramp up the drama and act like you’re surprised… Come on now. Plus, not the least bit suspicious that this happens barely a week after Mike gets accused of trying to slip it to GG? You’re dumber abs more desperate than I originally gave you credit for
Could Mike have been any more obvious by rushing the proposal? It was about as romantic as a company merger. Will you marry me, jump out of the plane, Jessica screaming I’m going to be a wife followed by Mike telling her to shove the ring on her finger. Yeah that’s the story I’d want to tell my grandchildren…NOT. Romantic would have been before Mike jumps he tells Jessica he has a question for her but doesn’t wait for the answer. Then Jessica follows and as she gets closer to the ground Mike has “JESSICA WILL YOU MARRY ME?” in huge letters that she can read on the way down. Then when they both land he gets on one knee and asks for her answer. When she says yes then he slides the ring on her finger and kisses her. His proposal was thrown together to cover his ass before the rest of his infidelities and crap had a chance to come to light. Jessica wanted to be a wife and probably a reality celebrity so much she was willing to overlook the obvious. It also seems she thinks she can change him hahahaha. What a joke.
Yeah, I had a problem with “Hey! Come look at your ring (subtext it’s four carats!)” instead of presenting it to her and reasking the question. Did either of them say I love you? I was so distracted by all the dramatics I may have missed it.
On Wed, Apr 8, 2015 at 12:06 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Like TT, I dont get GG, she says Mike did not try to force sex with her then the next breath she has kept it secret for a year and he owes her.
Mike sure knows how to f- up what could have been a nice proposal paid for by Bravo. I wonder if Jessica’s odd over the top reaction was fake because it was not really a surprise but all according to plan. I doubt she’d let Mike control her proposal.
MJ looks overly made up and dressed unbecoming because the example set by her mother looks like an old floozie whorehouse madam.
TT Santa Barbara – the soap – I watched every morning at 9:30 am, followed by “Somerset”. That was another 1/2 hour soap I loved! After typing that time just slapped me in the face – geez I’m old!
“Somewhere Mike is shitfaced” is becoming the Where’s Waldo of the Shah’s posts. I look for it every time LOL!
I thought the exact same about Jessica and that damn screaming ! Ugh! I can’t stand her ! And can’t believe she actually married that Douche , after what I’ve read on your blog and several other blogs ! And one of his mistresses has a book out about it ??
As I watched the show I was thinking I’m so glad MJ found love. Everyone around her has had a significant other during filming at some point. I’m so disappointed that he’s a class A douchbag cheater. She has money a good job and is on tv all this makes her a target for loosers. Wish her the best in her search for true love. It will be hard for her to trust again now.
I’m at work and can’t stay away from gossip! I only watched a little while at the beggining. I don’t like Jessica either, her face creeps me out and she’s too dumb (or proud) to realize her emasculation of Mike keeps him steppin’ out on her. If she hates all his friends, why is she still filming their show? I don’t get people like her. Either fix what bugs you or STFU, you know?Tamara, do you think this will be another “Wedding by Bravo”? Please God, nooo!
I feel so bad for MJ. My mom used to be a lot like Vida, but not so cruel, just critical and nothing I did was ever good enough for her. We are in a much better place now but I know what it’s like to live your life trying to be accepted and loved by your own mother. I find her scenes deeply moving and heartbreaking.
Loved Reza the first season, he’s been getting on my nerves last couple seasons, though I still like him.
Wow, no idea GG had rheumatoid – I have it pretty badly (plus psoriatic arthritis) and it’s horrible, no wonder she’s such a bitch. Being in pain all the time and the neverending fatigue makes you super cranky. Emotional stress makes it worse! In my case I had to change my entire lifestyle to avoid stress as much as possible (good luck, right??.) I took up painting and gardening to help keep the joints in my hands and wrists flexible. I wonder if she’s on Embrel or Humira?
Nvm, my rheumatoid brain (Yolanda, much?) just realized they already wed.
Laughing how Reza had MJ’s mother down to the tee..hilarious!
Lmao these comments are hilarious! Mike was planning on proposing all along and then Gigi gets wind of it and flies off the handle! I had no idea how dedicated he was to Jessica’s happiness but it always seemed that her conversion to Judaism was more important than anything! That made it seem superficial I guess! It’s clear Jessica does not like mike’s friends but tolerates them because she needs to integrate! I wouldn’t either especially how quickly they turn on him and NEVER have his back the way they always demand it! I’m still patiently waiting for all this evidence that he is cheating outside of what’s written on blogs! I wish them well and hope they take the commitment seriously!
You only have about three episodes to wait. They will begin to crawl out of the woodwork soon.
On Wed, Apr 8, 2015 at 7:39 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Wouldn’t it be a hoot if VPR’s Miami Girl was one of them?
Me thinks you know of impending doom
Wow ! I just watched, I know I’m really late . I’ve never seen anyone behave that way when proposed to , she’s pathetic .
My statement to my girls who were interested in men who I thought were dogs from the getgo has always been… “I wouldn’t marry that guy if his pecker was 9 inches long, made out of gold and tasted like chocolate. Well Mike has been told his whole life his is golden. I guess I should ask Jessica if the other two are true. Even if they are true my opinion stands. Mike’s not worth it. Can’t wait for the 3 weeks TT keeps referring to so we get to see what else comes out about Mike besides Gigi’s allegations.
I thought Mike was attractive in season one. Then he and Reza started their racist shit. Neither looked appealing anymore. And now Reza has Liberace hair.
On Thu, Apr 9, 2015 at 1:46 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I wonder if reza’s hair is a system or a hair transplant
I am new to this show but it’s the one bravo show my boyfriend actually makes an effort to watch (besides Top Chef) & he watches so much Housewives with me, I had to get into
The Shahs and I’ve found I like them a lot! Except I don’t really get what’s going on with Jessica…who is she? What is wrong with her face?? Yack! What kind of girl likes being proposed to as a man is JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE. That just signifies something to me that is bad omen-y.
I’ve only seen like 7 episodes total but I’m annoyed at how much trouble GiGi created about the engagement. How long were he and Jessica together? Were they serious back then? So many questions… feels like maybe they weren’t that serious yet & something really did happen. Or im just using common sense, logic, and reasoning which is unheard of in Bravo land.
My main point is that Jessica is a disturbing Stepford wife of a woman & I am a little creeped out by her.
I don’t understand why this is such a big deal for GG. They were drinking and on prescription meds. There has always been a little underlying sexual tension. So what, he tried to hit and you said no. Now you are running around like he violated you. Telling everyone that he is an awful person because he tried to have sex with you while you both were inebriated. It just seems like an extreme overreaction. It seems she really has a problem with him being in a relationship with another woman while she can’t get a dedicated boyfriend. This storyline is stupid.
Agree, texastea. All this time, I am thinking Mike was aggressively sexual with GG and all the ugliness that implies, and then she says, he simply hit on her. I wonder if she didn’t give it much thought because of their intoxicated, medicated state, then when questioned by producers, got manipulated into making it a big deal to get the cheating story out.
Otherwise, outing Mike for cheating would make her look bad for bringing it up unprovoked.
Either way, how do these “friends” come back from this?