So of course Steve introduces Phaedra as a “southern belle.” I tell you what. I like a lot of things about Steve Harvey but I don’t think he far above Phaedra on the food chain. I know he has a lot of skeletons with his ex and his kids. He seems to give good advice, but I’m not sure that the company he keeps and admires makes him much of an example. I don’t want to believe that, but I am starting to. As he is doing the intro, they are showing the cover of her book. Didn’t that book come out in like 1979?
They show the clip where she tells her mama that she wonders if Apollo is suicidal or psychotic. Steve introduces her as his buddy. Which is really all I need to know about Steve Harvey. The audience is very loud in their welcome.
Phaedra is in all black dress and looks lovely despite the two extra large caterpillars she is using as eyelashes. Steve asks her what she was thinking in that video. She was thinking, ” I’m going to make this man look like a total nut case and divorce myself from him as much as possible while this show is still filming.” And on Steve Harvey she is thinking, “Okay, try to seem relatable to women…” So she starts with her,” like many women….. I had an idea of the American dream and I thought I was living it so this was sort of like the death of a dream.” Okay. I am not going to be able to transcribe this nonsense. I’m going to have to do more of a purple pen interpretation for you.
Has she always had a super big top lip? Because it seems like she is having trouble talking because she is not used to her lips. I am so busy watching them I cannot focus on what she is saying.
Steve says she is handling this all so very well. She is amazing. But when the cameras off is it tough? She says that it is tough because she is on a reality show where people think they know here. Phaedra says “Reality is not always real.” No, no it is not and we don’t believe anything that was shown about you and Apollo this season. I wonder if Phaedra knows she does HAVE to be on a reality show and she could stop being on talk shows and just sit her ass at home and take care of her kids and try to get them into schools for the fall.
Phaedra is going on her, I am a great mother and that is all that is important spiel. You’ve heard(but not seen) it all before.
Steve asks about the housewives and asks I they have been good friends. She says, the show is called housewives, not good friends. She says they have not been supportive. Then she corrects herself and says that Porsha and Nene have been very supportive. Please note on the reunion when the Princess of Thotland gets read by half the cast that Phaedra does not open her mother to support Porsha. Nor does Nene. She tries to make it seem that Nene and Porsha were supportive because of their similar experiences with public divorce. You know, it is has nothing to do with the fact that those three could not get along with the rest of the cast.
Steve goes on to talk about the mortician nonsense. He asks how that came about. I have the DVR paused so I can type this. I am going to hit play now and see if she says anything like, “Well, I began to realize that my husband was being investigated by the feds. It was important for me to find another line of work in case I was implicated and lost my license to practice law. And if things all blew over, there would be legitimate business with access to all sorts of financial information about dead people. Plus, I’ve always liked dead bodies.” Let’s listen…Steve cracks some jokes and she doesn’t have to answer that question other than to say, “you can’t bury yourself!”
Phaedra’s mom is Steve’s biggest fan. Phaedra says she never goes anywhere with her but she watches Family Feud and this show every day. So who is home with the boys? Steve makes a comment about Phaedra’s mother wearing her black leather pants to the show. She gets up and half models half twerks. He runs out to hug her.
Steve talks about what a great attorney Phaedra is and in the next segment she joins him to participate in his recurring segment Harvey’s Law where he often gives advice like, “Burn their house down.” So Phaedra is just fine for this sort of legal advice.
The first client is a lady who uploaded a photo of her and her 3 month old daughter. It went viral and now people are pretending like her kid is theirs. She says this is a new trend called baby role play. She wants to know if there is anything legally she can do to stop this. I can take this one. STOP POSTING YOUR CHILDREN’S PHOTOS ON THE INTERNET! I don’t know why people want to do this. Don’t post people’s pictures on the Internet. Once y’all figure out why this is a bad idea it is too late. But I know y’all aren’t gonna listen and are going to keep on loving your selfies and Instagram accounts. Just remember when things go terribly wrong, I done tole you so! Oh and the mother put the picture on the show as well. Phaedra says she never puts her kids pictures out there on the Internet because once it is out there it is out there. This is the correct answer, but SHE PUTS HER KIDS ON TV and her HOUSE on TV! Everybody knows where she is because she announces her every move on the Internet. She says one thing and does another. There ought to be a word for that… Steve says that she needs to stop posting photos of her baby. And that there are a lot of people with ugly babies that will steal your pictures.
The other case is a lady who goes to a chain restaurant frequently with her husband and they have the same server who takes very good care of them. However, one day he was really off and did not provide good service. She told the guy with a smile, normally you are an A+ server and today you are a C! He screamed at her and cussed her out and embarrassed her in front of the whole restaurant. She spoke with the manager who said he would take care of it. He did nothing. Can she sue for mental anguish. Okay, look lady. Maybe the guy is going though menopause. As someone dealing with this issue it is my first diagnosis for everyone whether they have a vagina or not. Whatever his problem is, he was great to you on many occasions and was an asshole once. You want to SUE A WAITER for mental anguish? Sit your ass down. Can you sue? Yes. You can sue the fucking Dali Lama for mental anguish. That doesn’t mean you will win. You need to suck it up. There are mean people in the world. Some people are just born mean, some people are going through some shit, everybody had a bad day. You are a cunt satchel. Phaedra says: You can sue anybody for anything that you want. (She should know). She says in this situation, you have to wonder if it is worth your time. The average civil lawsuit runs about 18 months. She says is it worth the time and money for a $50-$75 meal? Steve says because she was pregnant at the time she probably still has post partum (depression) she should just go back and sit in his section and just let him have and go off. Clearly, Steve doesn’t know what post partum is. He seems to have it confused with menopause.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM MAKING EVERYTHING ABOUT MENOPAUSE? Shut UP!