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You are here: Home / Catfish / Catfish Recap: Felipe and Jasmine: It’s A JazzMAN!

Catfish Recap: Felipe and Jasmine: It’s A JazzMAN!

April 5, 2015 by tamaratattles 24 Comments

catfish felipe

Max is back! Oh Thank the Baby Jesus! Okay the catfish this week is Jasmine and she is leading some 23 year old down the garden path.  His name is Felipe and he seems like an easy target. They have never talked on the phone. That screams “It’s a Dude!” to me every week.  Ha! Max just said “It Could Be JasMAN.”

Abby Lee Miller would suggest Felipe get his ears pinned. I wonder if he is deaf or just has a speech impediment. Jazzman on the other hand is fake as fuck with lots of surgeries on her resume already. Age 22 and it looks like more surgeries than Heidi from The Hills. Felipe is a sweet boy preparing to enlist who says he loves Jasmine for her mind. Heh.

In their investigation, we find out that boob girl is not the person texting Felipe. Boob girl says that life is hard for her because people use her pictures all the time. Now they have to tell Felipe and hopefully find out who he has been talking to. It appears the likely suspect is this chick that has been in trouble with the law before for catfishing and she used the same girl’s picture.  Poor Felipe is devastated. Poor Felipe. I almost wish I could understand what he is says. I bet the kid with big ears from Dance Moms could understand him. They should hook up. Felipe walks out on his property filled with dead trees and scrap metal to weep softly all alone. catish nev and max

They boys set up a meet spot for Felipe to meet the catfish. It’s a park. I’m guessing there is a lake.

Yes! There is a lake, or at least some sort of cement pond. A good place for a drowning. Why do they always do this by water?

This is a weird story. The catfish is a gay guy pretending to be a chick. He was in the relationship with Felipe first. At some point in there , his fag hag, Alex  ended up screwing Felipe.  When she found out she was dating a guy that the catfish was catfishing and texting with him all the time she broke up with him.  Oh the gay guy doesn’t admit he is gay.

Did I mention Felipe is a boxer? He seems like a really good boxer. He seems to want to box the gay boy in the face.

But Felipe manages to woo the other chick back sort of with his big dictionary of words. Feeling like he is not getting enough attention the gay kid busts out a childhood sexual abuse story. It all looks like a big lie to explain why he is gay, even though he is not admitting to being gay.

 

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Filed Under: Catfish, News Tagged With: Alex, Alex Schaffer, Ashanti, Breaking News, Catfish, Chitara, Chitara and Priscilla, Entertainment, Entertainment News, Facebook, Felipe, Home Depot, Instagram, Luis, Max, Max Joseph, MTV, Nev, Nev and Max, Nev Shulman, News Archive, Priscilla, Recap, Sheree Whitfield, Twitter friends, Tyler Oakley, YouTube

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. blondesense says

    April 5, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    I took issue with the fact that the gay dude (with a full face of makeup) seemed to be implying he was gay (IF he was gay) due to being molested? He is terribly confused and needs to move to a big city stat. Felipe is too dumb to live.

    Reply
    • Jess says

      April 5, 2015 at 8:26 pm

      Yesssss! The gay dude tried to act like he was gay because a male teacher nolested him. Wtf lol… This show is whack anymore. Seasons 1-2 were good, now it’s way too scripted.

      Reply
  2. shaeonassis says

    April 5, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    LMAO!!! The gay dude with the speech impediment gets catfished by the Gay guy whose wears make up & is besties with an ex jump off who has an attitude cause she feels she got burned?? #TeamScripted….And how on EARTH is anyone still being catfished????????? Like seriously???? LMAOOOOOOO!!

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      April 5, 2015 at 9:49 pm

      ​It was funny when Nev and Max were asking the gay catfish why he did this he was like….I LEARNED IT FROM YOU! I WANTED TO BE ON THE SHOW!

      On Sun, Apr 5, 2015 at 8:33 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • shaeonassis says

        April 5, 2015 at 10:07 pm

        That was INDEED the highlight of the show for me too…oh…and when Felipe said that he was going to clean up that lot and build a house for him and Jasmine, with kids running around!!! #Classic

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          April 5, 2015 at 10:19 pm

          ​And Max was all like, so um, you think that fake titty THOT is going to live with you here among the metal sculptures in the woods and crank out your babies and Felipe was all,like, yeah. That’s the plan.

          On Sun, Apr 5, 2015 at 10:07 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
  3. Twilly says

    April 6, 2015 at 1:57 am

    Wutttt?

    Reply
  4. Cheychey says

    April 6, 2015 at 11:10 am

    A deaf boxer that may or may not have been hit in the head to many times, a confused gay boy, and an overweight girl with a chip on her shoulder no catfish just no. And you all are hilarious back away from the wine your making me laugh when I know it’s not right.

    Reply
  5. eDub says

    May 4, 2016 at 9:52 am

    Deaf? I’m surprised I didn’t even think about that. Makes sense… He’s about 5 foot 2, typical for a stupid Mexican who thinks he’s going to get some arrogant, model wanna be, tits out to here, who is living in hell for people using her pictures. A few things:

    1) Now it makes sense. I thought, and still do, Filipe is retarded. After all, he really thought he was going to have kids with someone he met on the INTERNET who he’s never talked to. Of course he’s deaf, but I wonder if he even knows… He’s been beat like nobody’s business and hit in the head ten too many times-which explains that annoying voice of his and the idea he can get a fake broad like “Jasmine” or Paris (whatever her real name is).

    Felipe… Please, if you’re reading… Look at the broad you think you’re talking to… Nothing special, but knows how to take a picture or two-or a thousand… But when you show up to see who has been screwing with you this whole time, some goofy, confused homosexual (Luis, with too much bronzer on his face) and his big boned girl”friend” show up who is someone that is more practical and in your league.

    If you’re reading this… Please think…. With your big head and not the little one, next time…. You’re not going from that thing you actually did go out with to someone who can afford double E’s so messed up, they actually touch her neck and damn near go up to her shoulders…..

    “Paris”.. If you’re reading this… You are not a model. Not even an “aspiring” model.. You are not a director.. we know that because you don’t know how to turn the camera around and take pictures of anyone but yourself… You are, at best, someone who will be remembered by the few thousand who cares to remember you as the “17” year old who got duped into screwing an NBA player… Brings us to another question.. WHERE WERE HER PARENTS?? It wasn’t even HER parents who threatened to take the basketball player down!!! Judging from where you come from, your white trash family can use the money….

    You, Paris, should change your name to “Trimble, Tennessee”… That city suits you better.. Ahhh!! Think about it.. Trailers everywhere, teeth optional, and absolutely no deodorant around for miles…

    You will never make it as a model, actress, and we’ve already gone over the possibility of you directing anything like it says on ONE of your many profiles.. To think someone has THAT many pictures-all of themselves-they put anymore up because there is (only) a limit of… say…. 10 GIGs to post your stupid pictures, which is strange for someone to have to live with SOOOOO many people using your pictures (full throttle-again, white trash saying) it has become “draining” that life has become so hard you can’t continue putting pictures of yourself up.. You do realize you CAN remove the pics you’ve posted-which won’t do much for the pictures people have themselves, but continuing to paste yourself all over the place, with not so much as a watermark, and going on Catfish will not make your poor, horrible life any better…… You are an attention whore and we all know it…

    can you imagine how many pictures this broad has NOT posted online somewhere???? JeSUS (hey-sues for our friends south of the border), how many iPhones have you gone through??? Do you buy mini SD cards wholesale????

    I’m so sorry poor, Felipe-someone I really feel bad for-has so much “ang goo” (anger).. Maybe now you can get that nasal cavity of yours checked for any mucus build up preventing you to sound like a stuffed-up-nose five year old, still, mentally ‘slow’… Get back into your league, my friend. Land your shuttle… Fix the hairpiece, start carrying a box of Kleenex(trademark), staple those satellites back, and talk like a normal adult.. Real quick…. Do you have to pay for HBO or do you get that and every other channel with those things???? No lawsuits from Dish? Direct TV? Does the government know about those satellites??? Can you triangulate anything? I bet you have no problems with your GPS-even in tunnels… Not to cut on him, but when you put yourself on TV like that…..

    To everyone else who writes Nev…. Instead of making a complete fool of yourself, pay attention to the steps he takes to get to the truth.. Golden rule-at the very least, have a conversation on the phone but more importantly, cameras are everywhere.. If the person catfishing you won’t have a video chat, something is a bit fishy.. “catfishy” The BIGGEST thing you can do for yourself is to take the pics you have and do a search.. It’s drag and drop… If there is even one other account using the same pictures, someone is getting screwed and it’s probably you…. Don’t confuse with your desire to get the person of your dreams with actual, true love… The only reason to go on Catfish is to get on TV so someone will pay attention to you.. In Paris’ case, she thinks she is going to become an actress and famous and rich from a thousand pictures online.. Paris… If it hasn’t happened yet, IT WON’T…..

    Reply
    • Bobbie says

      May 8, 2016 at 6:40 pm

      What u had to say makes a lot of sense to most of us who have common sense… However, u shouldn’t be making racial comments, u can be any color and be an idiot. U were out of line!

      Other than that, I couldn’t have said it better

      Reply
    • Renaee says

      May 12, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      Lmao , seems like you had enough time to write this long ass paragraph just talking hella shit .

      Reply
      • eDub says

        January 15, 2018 at 8:13 pm

        Uh huh. Is there a limit to what you can write? Are you the “comment” police? Something tells me you read every word of what I wrote. Am I wrong? I’m not going to sit here and let Renaee the “comment” nazi get to me. Talking shit? Yeah. Do you actually see the show?
        I’ll trll you what… when you date some 4’10” Mike Tyson wannabe with a hairpiece nobody can explain with the most annoying voice ever, too stupid to see the phone Im 100 pics she took of herself in the mirror, talk to ,e then. Until then, take your head out of your pooper and get real. You wouldn’t give that dipshit the time of day and you know it.

        Reply
    • Melissa K says

      October 27, 2017 at 8:10 am

      You are an asshole. Who the hell are you 2 judge? Get a life

      Reply
      • eDub says

        January 15, 2018 at 8:00 pm

        It’s called an opinion you dipshit. Seriously. Take your head out of your ass. If you have sympathy for this guy, you’re the one who needs to get a life.

        Reply
  6. Bobbie says

    May 4, 2016 at 10:08 am

    Omg, I’m so embarrassed for Felipe. Jasmine or paris Roxanne or whatever her name is, is the most arrogant, trashy dime a dozen wannabe model bitches I’ve ever seen. She claims it’s still ‘full throttle’ and she hates it – well stop taking so many selfies!!
    Is there anything real about u?

    Felipe, oh Felipe – what the hell were u thinking? Fatty girl and Luis who catfished u is more in your league. Luis is in denial of being gay, and blames him being ‘molested’ on why he did what he did. WTF??? And Luis, u need to chill on all that bronzer, your face is too shiny and glossy looking. Perhaps u can spend more time online searching for makeup tips rather than hurting people. What u did was despicable – Felipe should have laid u out. Shame on u.

    Felipe, shave the rest of your head sweetheart, take speech therapy and land your shuttle! I wish u well and I hope your military career goes better than your love life.

    Reply
    • Renaee says

      May 12, 2016 at 8:06 pm

      I think his bronzer was pretty good Lol stop hating everything was a set up they all got paid for it , Luis is my brother, Felipe is his friend and Alex is Luis bestie Lol they laugh at these comments honestly.

      Reply
      • eDub says

        January 15, 2018 at 8:24 pm

        Luis is your brother? I actually liked that guy. He proved a point to, Alex. Felipe says he is not the cheating type but for some reason he thinks putting his dick in Alex while planning a life with a picture is ok. He actually tried to justify it by saying he was tying to see how he felt about Alex and Jasmine at the same time. Does anyone want to point that out? nobody seems to get because people feel sorry for, quite possibly the stupidest person in North America. Maybe, Felipe isn’t the dumbest kid in the country but he has got to be the stupidest person in a Texas. Luis played him like noboy’s business!

        Did they script a lot of it? I think they do things like doing takes.

        How is Luis doing?

        Reply
  7. Renaee says

    May 12, 2016 at 8:09 pm

    Lmaooo I’m going through these comments and they are sooooo hilarious , everything was a set up they all acted Lol. Luis, Alex and Felipe are friends . Luis is my brother and him being gay is okay I don’t see how ignorant people love to pay attention to other people perspective of life smh. He did in fact get molested when he was little and that has no right for y’all little immature people to make fun of that smfh. Y’all are all stupid I’m sure y’all wouldn’t like some shit like that to happen to y’all may God bless y’all soul please.

    Reply
    • Bobbie says

      May 18, 2016 at 12:08 pm

      SMDH,
      Well, then perhaps they shouldn’t publisize their bulllshit on MTV. and ignorant? Sweetheart u can’t even spell! And if he is in fact ‘ gay’ then come out already he shouldn’t lie about being molested… Who does that??? Shame on him and shame on u for lying, u aren’t his sister “LMAO”. get out much? how many people live in your hick town?

      Yes, your “brother” can’t apply make up- I don’t give a shit if men wear make up but he should at least make sure it’s for the right skin tone … All of u are pathetic, did he honestly think he wasn’t gonna get feedback?

      Reply
      • eDub says

        January 15, 2018 at 8:34 pm

        I couldn’t agree more. Luis copped an attitude with Nev and Max and really pissed Max off. Perhaps Luis and his sister, Ranaee should look up the sord ‘discretion’ and practice it.

        We are becoming a country of sheep. Everyone thinks you have to overlook things like going on TV and airing your dirty laundry will get people talking about how stupid these people really are, Luis included.

        Reply
    • eDub says

      January 15, 2018 at 8:28 pm

      First of all, enough with the “y’all”. YOU are calling US stuoid? Nobody is saying anything about Luis being molested. That is horrible. The problem I have with that is, it doesn’t justify catfishing. I think it’s funnier than hell.

      Reply
  8. Bella says

    May 18, 2016 at 3:35 pm

    JESSE AND BRIAN –
    OMG, where does MTV find these people??? Do any of them have an education over middle school? Jesse, has the most ANNOYING accent or speech impediment almost as bad as Felipe. Stupid ass southern drawwwwwl or whatever it is. She also needs some serious proactive… Sorry folks, the truth hurts, don’t go on TV if you can’t handle hearing the heat!

    Reply
  9. eDub says

    June 3, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    Here’s the thing I don’t get…. Why hasn’t anyone brought up the fact that Felipe loses his scholarship because of injuries, but then turns around and BOXES… Really???

    Will someone please hit that motherfucker until he talks right?? In this case, someone would literally, “Knock the snot out of him.”

    Ranaee is Luis’ gay name. Do you crossdress? Seriously, bro (or sis), get a computer with a period key (.).

    Oh yeah.. Jesse and Brian.. Hey man, I have a lot of respect for you defending our country.. So much so I’m going to give you free advice…. NEVER, EVER, kiss a girl like that. First of all, putting your arms around her neck is something a man should never do. Not only that, but you might have gotten some of her bleach off her hair.. You walk up to her like she’s not there.. It’s called the 50/50 rule. You go 50% of the way, and she goes the other 50%.. When you kiss…

    Something happened there… She bolts after 2 days??? I swear that man had to have had a flashback. I bet she was sleeping and wakes up to that guy screaming, “GET UP, SOLDIER… INCOMING.. INCOMING..

    She was like, “settle down dude. It’s just the neighbor coming home from work…” She got the fuck out of there..

    Reply
  10. aron says

    June 3, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    LMAO I wanna see that episode again. my friend sent in an app to catfish and they pay you and its scripted but that was the funniest one. that dude that was jasmine is gay i think but should admit it.

    Reply

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