Catfish Recap: Chitara and Priscilla

Tonight it is a Lesbian Catfish! Chitara is the one who wrote in because she has a catfish named Priscilla. Priscilla dumped her. Priscilla is supposed to be a nurse who also lives in her town of Durham.  Priscilla dumped her and said it was all lies and she never loved her. Priscilla is SUPER hot. So it’s most likely that Priscilla is not the chick in the photo. I’m guessing Priscilla is a big fat dude with a two-inch penis. Chitara is bisexual so ….perhaps there is still hope. Oh wait. They talked on the phone every night. It was a six month relationship. Priscilla claims her mother passed. Then she said she was into a guy.

So off Nev and this Alex dude go to Durham, North Carolina. The south seems to have a whole lot more catfish. I’m just saying.  Chitara is really pretty and Priscilla’s online photos are like modeling photos. Alex is a goober. Being Max is not as easy as Max makes it look.

SIDE NOTE: Finding Carter Season Two Premiers next Tuesday at Ten on MTV. I strongly recommend binge watching season one. The first episode is sort of meh but it gets really good. And season two looks amazeballs. The truth is going to tear me apart? I don’t want to be told apart. BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE TRUTH IS!  FYI Finding Carter is a scripted show about a twin girl who is kidnapped very young and is eventually reunited with her real family in high school. She loves her mom the kidnapper but comes to accept her new family….UNTIL….

The boys figure out that Priscilla has another fake profile where she talks to herself and pretends like they video chatted. Chitara is such a nice girl. I’m glad that Tee Cee is not reading this because I can think of 20 mean things she would say about Chitara’s name. But she is the mean yankee and I am the nice demure southern girl.

Anyway, Priscilla is not answering Nev so Chitara  calls Priscilla on her phone. Priscilla says her feelings were real but she has moved on. Nev says that Chitara needs closure. Nev does his thing with Priscilla and she says she will meet her. Priscilla says she just wants it to be over and done. Nev says for Priscilla to text then the addy. WHY NOT JUST ASK HER FOR IT WHILE SHE IS ON THE PHONE YOU TEXTING FOOLS!  My preferred mode of communication is email. I hate the phone in fact my cell died MONTHS ago and I keep meaning to go get a new one but I haven’t. This has cause lots of people irritation, including but not limited to my therapist who thinks it is not safe not to have a phone. Hell, now that I think about it, It’s been over a year because I didn’t have one in Christmas of 2013 and my friend I went to visit was wanting to buy me one for the trip. I was like no, I am not destitute I just haven’t gotten a round to it yet. So yeah at least 15 months later no cell. I hated having an electronic leash. I don’t want people to be able to bother me wherever I am. I do need one in case my car breaks down and I should get one with Internet so I can get Instagram and stop bothering my Twitter friends to send me pictures. Sidenote: Send me any good Instagram pictures you see, photo only not all the comments and shit.

Anyway we are at minute 39 and we are already at “Priscilla’s house.”  This seems early in the show so I foresee some issues. Chitara says that this ain’t nuthin like she described her house to be. See this is why you don’t lie on the Internet. When I started this blog I told y’all I lived in the ghetto. Then when Sheree Whitfield started all her malicious prosecutions, all the sudden my little tar paper ghetto shack was on the Internet and I was like, see? I told you so! This girl’s house looks a lot like mine actually and she is in the middle of no where. I feel sorry for the girl. Not that there is anything wrong with her house, but because I suspect that she thinks that there is because the TV shows are full of people living in houses 20 times bigger than hers. I also totally get the tree stump with the flower pot on top. I had a tree removed from my front yard and it was like a grand and they wanted ANOTHER $750 to take the stump out. I had them cut mine down to the ground and yes mam I went to Home Depot a bought a really pretty really big (it was a huge tree) pot and planted shit in there until that stump disintergrated.  That’s $750 I can spend on hotel room upgrades in Paris girl friend.

Priscilla’s real name is Ashanti. She is not a man with a two-inch penis, or a 400 pound white girl with facial hair, or anything that would be a deal breaker for Chitara. She’s a pretty girl. She’s dark-skinned and I swear to god if this is another dark-skinned girl who feels less than thing, I’m going to be irked. It’s 2015 people! Colorism is so passé ! Ashanti is only 18 not 22 like she said. She does have some bad skin but she is 18. Ashanti says Priscilla is the last one. Like she has a whole list of chicks she has done this with. Also Ashanti JUST TURNED 18!  Ashanti says something about bitch this and that and Chitara takes off her jacket and the earrangs are about to come awf!  Lots of jawboning. And commercial.

When we come back it is time for Nev to have his heartfelt conversation with Ashanti. Ashanti says that she has been doing this since age 13. Her mother did not die. Nev sets up some time to meet with Ashanti the next day.

Meanwhile, Chitara is pissed. So pissed. Mainly because Priscilla can’t drink with her at the bar. And Ashanti has been doing this for years. I suspect Ashanti is the one who called this in. I read an article that I discussed here somewhere that said that much of the time it’s CATFISH that calls the show and then they just make it look like the person who got catfished wants to know. That doesn’t bother me too much since they claim Nev and Max don’t know when that has happened and the parties still have never seen each other.

The next morning they meet up at a coffee shop. Chitara asks for the boys to do the talking and she will comment at the end. Chitara is doing a lot of teeth sucking at first. Ashanti says that when she was 13 times were hard with her and her mom. She used the fake profiles as an escape. She was afraid to confess. I feel bad for the kid. She has no malice. She was trying to have an alternative reality.

Chitara is focusing on raising her two kids. She has had no contact with Ashanti. Ashanti refused to give an update and has taken down her Priscilla profile.

NEXT WEEK MAX IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s a double catfish scheme! What does that mean?

Oh crap! It looks ike Teen mom is back with Farrah, Leah and Amber. I just set to tape at 1:20 am.