By Lady Cocoette
Since she sashayed away, Jasmine Masters has received an unusual amount of hate on social media. I think her loud voice and Porsha Williams-level intellect really rubbed people the wrong way. But tweeting death threats over a reality show about men in dresses is taking things too far. And it’s not ISIS upset about the homosexual agenda. It’s Drag Race fans upset about Jasmine Masters’ agenda. It got so bad, RuPaul had to weigh in with messages of support. Let’s slow our roll here, people. It’s just a tv show. As RuPaul famously said, “Anybody who can step out of the house with a pair of heels and some lipstick on their lips is my hero.” #EverybodySayLove.
RuPaul gives a hint to the Maxie-Challenge with, “One day you’re in on the joke and the next day the joke’s on you.” The Queens have to break into 3 teams, write spoof lyrics to RuPaul songs (of course), record the vocals and shoot a music video. Yeah, they needed the whole episode for a challenge this big. Ru lets the Queens choose their own teams. Ginger Minj has singing experience so Mrs. Kasha Davis, Kandy Ho and Kennedy Davenport circle around her pretty quickly. Trixie Mattel chooses Katya for her comedy chops, Miss Fame because she can sing and Pearl because, “I love Pearl.” That leaves Violet Chachki, Max and Jaidynn Diore Fierce alone and groupless. Max bites the bullet and draws them all into a group hug. “Here, let’s do it. Let’s just do it.” None of them are happy about their group but they all realize they have no alternative.
Team Misfit gets “Sissy That Walk” and they try to decide on a theme. Violet Chachki causes trouble from the get-go, nixing Jaidynn’s idea and making fun of Max not wanting to do a sexual spoof. She actually does a pretty funny impression of Max saying, “I don’t want o do anything dirty or raunchy.”
Team Trixie gets “Dance With U.” Trixie wants to do “Tan With U” but no one really likes that idea. Miss Fame suggests something about raunchy, dirty sex because “That always is funny.” Pearl shoots that idea down but doesn’t have any ideas to add. Weird tension breaks out between Pearl and Miss Fame. It’s kind of ugly. Trixie and Katya pretend they don’t notice. Team Trixie decide to go with “Tan With U” because no one can think of anything better. Not the best strategy, girls.
RuPaul checks in on the teams. On Team Ginger, Mrs Kasha Davis starts blabbing and makes RuPaul nervous. After asking Kennedy how it felt being on the bottom last week, RuPaul gives the girls a pep talk/ultimatum. “As the competition shrinks, it gets stronger. I’m expecting you all to deliver.”
Max tells RuPaul that she prefers song parodies that aren’t raunchy and Violet Chachki gets to do another impression of Max the Prude. Team Misfit wants to do their spoof around the top 3 from last season who performed “Sissy that Walk”. They give RuPaul some sample lines but he doesn’t look impressed. He reminds Team Misfit that he expects a lot from them, too.
RuPaul announces that Trixie Mattel is probably the leader of Team Trixie. “Making fun of you is a lot easier than I thought,” Trixie quips back. Pearl is quick to point out that Trixie came up with the concept and then makes a face so RuPaul knows her feelings about it. Trixie meekly tries to explain her idea but Miss Fame jumps in, bringing a lot of energy and “overcooked, overgrown orangutans” to the mix. RuPaul is the most excited about Team Trixie’s concept. Suck on that, Pearl. The girls hint at the tension in the group. “Fame and Pearl are butting heads,” Katya worries. “This is not a good sign.”
Team Trixie meets RuPaul’s producer, Lucian Piane, in the recording studio. Katya has only had bad experiences singing so she’s using a comedic voice. Lucian has to pull her back a bit. Miss Fame can sing but she’s not as good as she thinks she is. Pearl rolls her eyes at Miss Fame’s vocals. Trixie Mattel sings in a surprisingly low register, for a girl. Oh, she needs autotune real bad. Miss Fame gives Trixie the side eye. “Every time I’ve been on a team, I’ve been with Trixie on a team. And when we get into challenges I see her kind of buckle,” Miss Fame explains. Pearl can’t sing. “You got that white boy timing,” Miss Fame informs her. Pearl doesn’t appreciate Miss fame’s suggestions and she gets pretty flustered. Lucian asks Pearl to bring to the song what she does on stage. Trixie Mattel has known Pearl for a long time and is used to her relaxed nature but “for drag she needs to get herself a fresh pair of batteries.”
It’s Team Misfit’s turn to record with Lucian. They are going to do a parody of the “sissy That Walk” video from Season 6 with Max playing Courtney Act, Jaidynn Diore Fierce playing Bianca Del Rio and Violet Chachki playing Adore Delano. Now this I’m excited to see! Jaidynn starts out nervous but comes alive under Lucian’s direction. She is really growing on me. I can’t wait to see her Bianca paint. Violet Chachki can’t sing and immediately gives Lucian attitude. When Lucian tells her, “your timing wasn’t great” she shoots back with, “I just went off your cue.” Violet Chachki, making friends everywhere she goes. Good lord, I’m ready for her to grow up already.
Team Ginger is assigned “Let The Music Play” and they decide to poke fun at all of RuPaul’s products. That’s a good, solid concept. RuPaul is the Queen of self-promotion, after all. Ginger Minj has a nice voice. No issues for Lucian there. Kennedy Davenport can sing too. Good team so far. Oops, spoke too soon. Mrs Kasha Davis has an unusual singing voice. Ginger describes it best as, “Ethel Merman and Paul Lind had a love child, bursting forth from Kasha’s vocal chords.” I love me some camp but she really overdoes it.
Miss Fame tries to take control of Team Trixie’s choreography. “For somebody with almost no performance experience, Miss Fame has a lot to say when it comes to putting something together,” Trixie complains. Miss Fame and Pearl start arguing again and it feels like it’s affecting the whole group. Trixie tries to intervene while Katya goes to her happy place. Team Trixie is crumbling.
Team Misfit is up first to make their music video. There is a green screen, sets and props (including the Pit Crew) and RuPaul and Michelle Visage are directing. Violet Chachki starts out doing Adore Delano. Michelle asks her if she cinched and re replies, “No. I have a hog body.” She gets points for knowing her herstory. I love Jaidynn Diore Fierce as Bianca Del Rio. She not only painted Bianca eyes but she’s throwing out her catchphrases left and right. Unfortunately, Max does Courtney Act’s Australian accent but that’s about where the resemblance ends. “Max looks like himself, with a wig on,” Violet explains. Michelle Visage reminds Max how manic Courtney was in the “Sissy That Walk” video “with her… crazy eyes.” Max continues to struggle.
Team Ginger is ready to make a video. RuPaul and Michelle love their spoof lyrics about RuPaul and his accomplishments. We even get a huge Michelle Visage laugh. They are great singly and in group shots. They make a quip that Drag U “really was a rough spot” and both Ru and Michelle start frowning. RuPaul stops the video to ask them about it. “Well, that was one of my favorite jobs,” RuPaul informed them. “It changed people’s lives.” The girls get super nervous. They already laid the track so there’s no going back now. They can’t tell if RuPaul is genuinely pissed or just teasing them.
Trixie is first in Team Trixie’s video. She’s very tan but it’s hard to tell because she always has a face full of makeup. Katya is channelling Tan Mom or the overly tan friend in “There’s Something About Mary”. RuPaul and Michelle bust out laughing. While Katya is performing Trixie kind of wanders off set but Michelle sends her back in. And then she does it again. Trixie is a little lost today. Ru and Michelle call her on it. When it’s time for group choreography there’s a big discussion about what to do. “Tick, tock,. Time is ticking,” Michelle warns them. Wow. The whole team is a mess. Katya is wondering how she ended up with these clowns.
While they’re painting their faces for the Runway, Ginger asks Kennedy why she has so many pictures of Sahara Davenport (RIP). “Well, she’s my sister.” And the Davenport name makes total sense. Sahara and Kennedy met in high school and she speaks touchingly about not having the money to attend Sahara’s funeral.
The guest judges are RuPaul’s producer Lucian Piane and Jessica Alba. Ross Matthews is back but Carson Kressley is missing this week.
The runway theme is “All Green” so RuPaul wears a rainbow-hued dress. And that’s how it’s done when you’re the boss.
Pearl comes out in her Cobra outfit (I feel like I’ve seen this look in promo pictures). Her body is strangely proportioned but she really gives good “snake.” Miss Fame looks gorgeous in a green sequence dress and dark hair. Gorgeous makeup. Miss Fame really knows how to give good face. Trixie Mattel is wearing a Chinese Cheongsam dress with a fortune cookie on her head. Michelle thinks she’s been, “Shang-hiiiiiied!” Katya does sexy in an emerald sequin gown and big, blond hair. And, pow, she has the Angelina Jolie leg. Max is wearing a Louis XIV corset and green sequin pasties. Max claims she doing the three A’s: antique, androgynous, Antoinette. Jaidynn Diore Fierce comes out in neon camouflage and lots of gold. I’m getting a Snooki vibe from her with this one (it might be the blinded out glasses). Ooh, she has big green hair, too. I am really loving me some Jaidynn Diore Fierce this episode! Violet Chachki is wearing lime green feathers and some sparkly chains to cover her crack. I didn’t like it at first but this showgirl look is growing on me. If only Violet’s personality could live up to her fashion sense! But, damn, she has a nice ass. Kandi Ho has a pretty chartreuse dress and her hair is blonde to green ombre. Very smart for this challenge. Mrs Kasha Davis is covered in dollar signs with a boa made of dollar bills. Kennedy Davenport comes out looking like a black, feathered yeti but then she removes her cape and we see her green Garden of Eden dress. She looks gorgeous but she’s giving us Phaedra Parks hair so that’s all I see. She is definitely a pageant Queen. Ginger Minj wears a cute, somewhat retro green dress. She’s adorable but after Kennedy’s over the top look, Ginger looks mother of the bride. “Not today, satin. Not today!”
They show us the final, edited videos. Team Trixie stars in “Tan With U”. They’ve given the video a very sun-soaked look. They managed to edit the train wreck that is Team Trixie into a pretty good video. Pearl stands out but not for the right reason. Her voice is flat, her acting is flat and it looks like her eyes are closed. The group shots are a mess. Katya, Trixie and Miss Fame are pretty funny. Pearl is sleepwalking. Trixie picks dead skin off of Katya (a nice touch). RuPaul is smiling but Katya is worried.
Team Misfit goes next with “Get Ready to Clock.” I’d love to never hear Violet Chachki sing again but she does a pretty good impression of Adore Delano. And there’s Jaidynn Diore Fierce as Bianca Del Rio! Yes, Mama! Max just isn’t bringing it as Courtney Act. Even her costume is lacking. I’m surprised. I expected more from Max. Ok, I like that they’re making fun of Adore Delano’s hems and Courtney’s ego. They look great together but I’m still a little disappointed in Max. They seems proud of what they put out there.
Team Ginger has turned “Let the Music Play” into “I Got Paid” and they’re teasing RuPaul about all of her business ventures. Their channel is RuVC (All Ru – All the time!). There’s the Glamazon Cosmetics. RuPaul’s books. The RuPaul Doll. The group dance scenes seem a little lifeless but their lyrics are tight. “Album and a Tshirt, album and a Tshirt.” They even managed to get the new RuPaul Drag Race Statuette in there! And the chocolate bar! These girls are killing it. The judges are all laughing. I think we have a winner.
Top Queens: Katya, Jaidynn Diore Fierce and Kennedy Davenport were the stars of their groups. And Kennedy Davenport wins. She won a 3 year supply of essential family products from Jessica Alba’s Honest Company. I’m sorry but what is Kennedy Davenport going to do with 3 years worth of diapers and baby wipes. Sigh.
Bottom Queens: Pearl, Trixie Mattel, Max, Violet Chachki, Kandi Ho and Mrs Kasha Davis
Pearl needs to loosen up. I’m not sure if she’s really getting it though because she feels like she’s getting unfairly picked on. They don’t think Trixie is standing out enough, especially for a comedy Queen. Max didn’t have enough green in her outfit and Michelle wants to see her without her trademark grey hair. Listen to her, Max. Michelle challenged Jinkx Monsoon to show her sexy side and after Jinkx did, she went on to win her season. They want more from Violet Chachki but it didn’t feel like she was really on the bottom like the others. Kandi Ho is getting lost in the crowd. Michelle questions Mrs Kasha Davis about her strange singing voice. She chalks it up to “What happened was, I think Be a Arthur was inside me when we were recording…” “We have something in common,” Ross Matthews interrupted. “Bea Arthur was once inside me as well.”
LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE
The two Queens up for elimination are Trixie Mattel and Pearl. They perform Dreaming by Blondie (probably a good choice for both of these Queens).
You can tell Trixie is going to give it her all. Will Pearl? Trixie is dancing, miming, acting. Pearl is low key. She’s not moving much. Trixie is playing it fun and upbeat. Pearl suddenly gets super intense. Ok, she decided she wants to stay. That’s nice to see but her energy doesn’t match the song. Strange.
Pearl, shantay, you stay. Wait, did I hear that right? Uh, ok. I guess Ru knows what she’s doing. Trixie Mattel, sashay away.
Next week: Award Show fun. And don’t forget to watch Untucked, available every Tuesday. You can watch this week’s episode right here on TamaraTattles.com !