If I was THE LORD I would have never stopped the whole smiting thing. I think that would probably be the best part about being THE LORD. When people do really bad shit, you could just SMITE them, preferably with a bolt of lightning.
I would think saying things like “My number one priority is my boys, and their safety and comfort during this difficult time.” When it is complete and utter bullshit would be a SMITABLE offense. Especially when you are on a cross country tour telling other people how you and Jesus think kids should be raised. Meanwhile, it seems apparent that your landscaper quit and your neighbors are pissed about your overgrown yard and everpresent trashcans.
While other moms in the hood are awaiting to hear where their kid was accepted to school next fall your kids are God knows where while you are out preaching to abject morons. #FixItJesus