Chyka
Lydia meets Chyka for lunch. I assume they are going to rehash last week’s episode. Lydia is headed to Florence and it seems Arena is not going to take us with her. Lydia seems to want us to know she is way too young to have a kid getting married. Chyka tells Lydia that Janet says that Gamble used to be a call girl. Lydia is shocked that Chyka is being such a shit stirrer. So am I! Also, Chyka in her talking head points out that Gamble had some issue with an ex and the ownership of a car or something. Chyka then throws out the whole sex party thing. Oh Chyka, I remember you in season one when you were above rolling in the gutter with these cunts. How does it feel to lose your dignity on international telly?
Jackie
I want to like her. I do. I just have such a hard time doing it. I also don’t want to think of her fucking Ben. He seems so unwashed. The days of boinking semi-homeless smelly musicians are long gone for me. I’d much prefer Gamble’s man with the sailboat. Janet shows up at Jackie’s advertisement filming.. and she is pissed that she is going to be blamed for shit talking Gamble.
Gamble
Gamble is pissed with everyone. I don’t blame her. Janet is in no position to speak about what Gamble brings in with her pussy. Hasn’t Janet been sleeping with the crypt keeper for decades to get her money? Please. At least Gamble pulls the hot rich men. I think someone is jealous.
PF
Ugh. Fast Forward.
Fashion Show
Gamble arrives at whatever this is pissed. Janet and Jackie were there. Jackie hanging with Janet is not going to do Jackie any favors. Gamble tells Janet that she is basically a lying sack of shit. Which is true. Gamble decides to give Jackie a taste of her own medicine. She says she heard that Janet was a heroin addict who sold her sex for heroin. I kind of love Gamble. Gina shows up and fondles Gamble’s ass when she arrives. Gamble calls Gina, Gina not Geener. Gina says this is a “fashion parade.” But none of that is important. Gina is going in on Janet. She also points out that Janet was visibly drooling over Gamble’s man.
At the fashion show. Gina and Janet seem chummy. Why? Then Gina turns to Gamble and says she thought she might be mad at Janet for fawning all over her man. Gamble says, “Who didn’t see that coming?” In fact if you recall, Gamble put the crypt keeper, Janet by her man on purpose. She has nothing to fear from her. Gina just loves stirring the pot. Gamble is a bit to sensey about being called a whore though. Because, she may be in a higher income bracket than most, but it’s all the same game.
OMG I love Rick more than anyone in the world. he is so adorable. He’s so loving, like a big rich muppet.
Chyka
Sigh. Okay, so this season you are a shit stirrer. And we have to see you culling out your closet because you have too many Hermes items. What a bitch. Um send me a scarf? Hermes sunglasses? What? I’m just trying to be helpful. Are Hermes sunglasses all made by that same damn cheap lens company that makes everything? I used to just wear Ray Bans (still my fav) But I don’t think even Ray Ban makes their own lenses anymore. Seriously, all designer glasses have the same shitty lenses now. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Manuela
Omg. Have we met the Manuela chick before? She is credited as “Janet’s friend” but she clearly hates Janet, possibly more than the rest of us. She meets her for lunch and Janet has apparently purchased new hair ( Good god is this fake hair shit a global embarrassment now? I thought it was strictly and American symbol of ridiculous self-loathing. At any rate, Manuela makes sure to point out that Janet’s new locks are terribly uneven. #ShadeDownUnder
Oh wait. Manuela likes PF. I’m already over it.
Gina
Gamble and Gina meet to discuss Chyka and Janet’s defamation. Gina is going to go in on Janet next week. This seems rather ridiculous.
I don’ t think you fight defamation with defamation. Janet is not poor. Just let the aging bag of bones with no man hate on you for having Rick, Gamble. She’s so not worth it.
I got a kick out of Calamity Gamble’s continuous lassoing of Janet’s accusations at the fashion parade shindig. I’m liking both her and Rick on this show – I could use more scenes with them at home, or out and about doing things. Really, they need more storylines going in general, instead of repeated lunches with changing characters rehashing the Gamble storyline over and over. And I need more Gina snark!
You FF over PF means you missed another in-depth discussion of her book — did you know it’s called “Switch the Bitch?” No? Well, that’s the title, and it’s about switching the bitch.
PF had to make the woman who does her eyebrows sit across from her like a mute so she could have someone listen to her explain it again — obviously the other women on the show are over it too.
I don’t think Chyka was *that* much of a shit stirrer — I buy that she only intended to bring up the stuff in the media about Gamble and her ex, not the crap about sex parties and being a call girl that Janet made up. I also noted that Janet flat out lied several times and said it was CHYKA who brought up the call girl/sex parties crap.
That was my fav part of the episode. When she ditches the co-author it is tv trash gold!
Wait what whut I miss?
On Thu, Mar 19, 2015 at 11:39 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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It appears as though they were meant to be co-authorz on the book. But PF didn’t like the ‘nice’ and romantic direction her friend was going, so on camera without any warning, she ditched her friend as co-author. I couldn’t tell if her friend was confused about what happened, or if the botox impeded her ability show emotion in the moment. I thought it was pretty funny.
I remembered you said this was coming so I paid attention to it pretty carefully. I had to laugh when she dumped the coauthor because It crossed my mind Pettifleur is convinced now that she’s pushing the book on the housewives show she can do a lot better on her own, or make more money. I mean it would be fairly trivial to compartmentalize the book into sections like Wife, Work, Love Life etc. Thank god they limited her appearance though.
That was my favorite part. Was she firing her employee, partner, or eyebrow lady. Then the comments she made back. What a great scene.
PF is hardly in the show. I know she and Gina have a war of wards, but nothing too explosive.
Words* too tired to spell.
This is a bit random, but I went on Amazon to see if there was anything about this book and instead a book titled “The Bitch Switch: Knowing How to Turn it on and Off” came up. Which was written by….dun dun DUN..Omarosa from The Apprentice.
I see a lawsuit over IP rights in the near future. Thanks for the info. 🙂
Mrs. Muffins that’s priceless. What the hell was Pettifleur thinking?
The PF lady seems fairly off her rocker, I’d love her storyline next season to be some sort of Omarosa lawsuit. Mwuhahahaha. I’ve only seen a couple episodes so I’m completely lost with these ladies, but I will say that my favorite thing about the Melbourne show is all the normal people in the background at restaurants, etc. that are totally dumbfounded by the housewives’ behavior (and appearance probably- who wears that much hair and makeup…ever…).
Micheal I think of both you and Urethra every time I see news about AHS. Can’t wait for next season’s shady GaGa motel of horrors and hot men.
Wait, are you kidding about that being her eyebrow plucker? Or is that a real thing?
On Thu, Mar 19, 2015 at 11:28 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I think the “real” job title is esthetician — but yeah, that was Charlotte aka “Charlie” PF’s eyebrow plucker. At the end — when PF let her get a word in edgewise — she even asked PF when she was coming in next to get her eyebrows done and that they were “growing in nicely” — it was basically the only thing Charlotte said.
OMG I thought that was wild after she dumps her as coauther the lady says she has to go, but before she does she asks when is Pettifleur going to stop to get them done again. Who does that?
You’ll love episode 4 Tamara – Pettifleur isn’t in it 😉
It’s already my favorite episode of the season, then!
When I heard them say that Janet was only 56 I almost fell off the couch. I honestly thought she was hitting 70. That is not what 56 looks like folks. That is what horrible, disfiguring plastic surgery and a really, really, bad hairdresser will do to you. As much as I like Chyka, the hair! The horror! Even Justin Beiber stopped with the Elvis doo. Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does she die? #FingersCrossed
On Fri, Mar 20, 2015 at 12:42 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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one can only hope. For the life of me I can’t figure why they cast PF. Maybe they thought she’d bring the drama? She just just seems unlikable from every angle. Her son was a douche too.
Not liking Janet at all. Every time she finds an ally that will support her in her antics, you can almost see the excitement in her face. That’s how she was last season, and now this season with that Manuela person. While I like the friendship with Gamble and Gina i do think that Gina shouldn’t get in the middle. Being a sounding board is one thing but actually sitting down with Janet and saying what she’s going to say next week is a little much. I think she’s just using this as an excuse to go after Janet because of how she treated her. I guess I understand but it may not be a good idea. Gamble will need to find a way to let this go even tho her feelings are hurt. It’s not true so she need not make too big of a deal about it. Its only giving Janet fuel to work with. Anyway, if I hear about PF’s book one more time I’m going to hurl and she had the nerve to reject her friends contribution to the book? Her friend’s book actually sounded more appealing if you ask me. Lydia is really making herself scarce. Jackie still annoys me. I still like Chyka…so far.
That Janet is a piece of freakin work! I’m growing to despise that woman. Although oddly enough I did sort of find the upraised arm twirling motion yelling “everybody, everybody” kind of funny. Gamble had me rolling with it, but Janet’s rendition was funny as well. Now back to hating on her.
I was listening to this episode more than watching it. It was hilarious when Gamble and then Janet where doing the “everybody” thing. Because of their accents and high pitch voices, all I kept thinking was why is a Disney wicked witch character on this show? I looked at the TV it was Gamble.
Have you heard if Lydia is still with her husband? I noticed that she hasn’t mentioned him.
T of course your right about the sunglass lens. I sell sunglasses. I’ve carried versace, prada, and every other designer frame and if your not buying a good brand (like Reptile’s, Maui Jims, etc…) with a good polarized lens you might as well be buying them at $1 store. Mauis and the like cost anywhere from $150-$300 a pair and designer frames are all around $300-$400. It’s unbelievable.
Yes, amy but I need a list of people who do not use that cheap lens place. I was so disheartened to know Ray Ban sold out and went with them.
I am looking to buy a good lens, the plastic part is way less important. But for the last couple decades, the lens have been taken over by a monopoly.
On Fri, Mar 20, 2015 at 1:03 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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LOL that conversation was hilarious! So how many chapters are in this book exactly?
“I don’t know how many chapters I wrote…I would say about…oh…uh…10?”
“Oh only 10? I’ve written at least 20!”
So apparently this is already a 30 chapter self-help book? Besides being so crystal clear that neither of them has written shit. The best part was Peteyfluietgji just automatically doubling the number of whatever the other bitch said.
God, Jackie was annoying with the whole La’Mascra crap already. What? Another housewife pushing a friggin’ product no one needs? What does she add to this show? The producers should of hired Manuela instead of PF. She’s more interesting.
I agree about Manuela – she seems like she could bring more to this show than others who are principal cast members.
I view Manuela as smarter more cruel version of Janet. She would probably go too far fairly quickly. Also I think the purpose of that lunch was as an alibi for Janet. I didn’t believe a word of it when she says she had heard the same rumors about Gamble.
OMG I had almost forgotten about that. What was it like 30 times, and she gets it right like maybe twice. What I thought was pretty cool about those scenes is we’re watching her on camera dancing around in the confetti being filmed, and that being displayed on the monitor so you can see both the live, and the recorded so to speak given they’re both recorded, and she looks so much better on the TV being recorded if that makes sense.
I had to laugh when Jackie couldn’t pronounce the name of the company.
To be honest, neither could I.
I don’t het the whole switch tbe bitch thing. I mean does she intend it to be a how to book for women to entice rich men to dump their partners, you know, get them to switch the bitch. Or is it a S & M whipping instruction manual. I mean who cares what she has to offer unless it’s how to pop ping pong balls out of her cucamong. Now that`s a truly marketable skill.
I know right? We’ve watched her try to explain like ten times now and it’s never clear. It’s like she has no clue what the book’s supposed to be, at least to date she’s offered no cogent synopsis of the thing. You would think being able to describe it so people understand it would be a high priority. The fact she can’t speaks volumes that book’s likely to be a disaster. I tend to agree Psylocke above neither of them have probably written anything yet.
And I hope she never tried to explain it again!!!!!!
*tries
I think you’re on to it wonky tonky. I swear she found two words that rhyme and decided it should be a book title.
Oh she will. PF is like the new Andrea (annoying, over the top, trying to market an unmarketable book).
Hey y’all check out Mrs. Muffins comment above. Turns out a very similar sounding book title was published already, written by Omarosa from The Apprentice back in 2008.
I my bet is that neither the eyebrow plucker or PF have written the first chapter. May explain why they can’t explain jack about it’s thesis.
I think Gamble didn’t like Janet at their first meeting trash talking Gina and since she took a liking to Gina, she didn’t trust Janet’s motives for relaying information–however, I think Gamble did overreact. Her fiance’s advice was so spot on–he soooo loves her, it is nice to see their relationship on a housewives show. Gina is wary of Janet’s actions because of how Janet sold her out last season but I think she should stay out of this argument.
Pettifleur…switch off this bitch! Wow, she’s annoying. Jackie mispronouncing La MASCara was hilarious. And lastly, TT, yes, like you, my days of being attracted to musicians are over–give me sweet supportive sugar daddies w/sailboats!
Oh, one more thing…did Chyka say she moved her son out of his bedroom to make herself a clothes closet? Where the hell did she put him?
Boarding school? I think that is where I would have kept kids if I had any. in Europe.
On Fri, Mar 20, 2015 at 1:30 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Brilliant. Of course boarding school, lol. If I had the money (and if I had kids) that’s the place for them.
I was guessing down the hall. I found the entire scene obnoxious, seemed like she was trying to hard to let other now how happy and rich she was. Reminded me a bit of Alex and Simon shopping on RHONY. Does anyone else think Chyka’s hubbie may have a side piece (that could be a dude?)
😀 yep.
Chyka’s husband sets off my gaydar, big time. But I’m always wary of relationships where the husband is better looking than the wife so I might be biased.
I thought that last season. Lol. I always get a weird feeling when long time married people constantly profess how happy they are. I remember Ramona saying all the time how happy she and Mario were. They were more in love now then when they got married 20 years ago…blah blah blah. I’m like okay we get it you have a happy marriage….enough.
Does anyone think Gamble seems insecure about her past? Don’t get me wrong I like her so far. Her immediate alliance with Gina seemed a bit contrived. This, coupled with Janet’s “claims” have consumed her storyline so far. Maybe she was a little wild in the past and is insecure about it. I really really hope she and fiance work it out though! So addicted to this show!!!
By the way dear, nice to meet you. I have heard from multiple sources that you were a call girl and a stripper and had wild sex parties at your house. Well, I just thought you would want to know what everybody is saying about you. then Janet went back into her crypt because there is no way that bag of bones is real.
The Aussies (is it ok to call you guys that?) keep telling us what’s coming next. Have they already shown this season in Australia? Or is their knowledge based on local gossip? Maybe all Australians are psychics… Shine, shine, shine!
Aussies here are all those things.. but they are an episode or more ahead of us….
On Sun, Mar 22, 2015 at 2:05 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Episodes air in Aus on Sunday, in US the following Thursday.