Pluma a fuego,
Fuego a sangre,
Sangre a hueso,
Hueso a tuétano,
Tuétano a ceniza,
Ceniza a nieve.
I am about to send you over to read a blog somewhere else. It’s way better than what I am planning to write in a few minutes and will buy me some time. But first, I need you to try to get into the same weird hormonal headspace as me. I know, I know but I need you to try. First, if you have the ingredients to make a caprese salad, do that, or if it is appropriate in your time zone have some Sangria, Next hit play on the video above. You can watch a bit before heading over to the link below. 
Okay so I have two people who I like a whole lot who have one very disturbing mental health issue. They are Brandiloons. ( Well three if we count J.D., but…anyway). These two women are afflicted mostly, I feel because they are west coasters. They have really bad political views and were just raised in a culture of … I really don’t know if they even have culture out there. Is granola a culture? They both full of hope (and change) and are what I believe you call nice people. /HEAVY SIGH. Anyway, this morning (my morning which was like half an hour ago…) One of them made me aware of a story on Lisa Vanderpump. Who depending on who you ask is either my close personal friend, or I am the bane of her Internet existence. Sometimes I can be hard to figure out.
Anyway, that Brandiloon loves to try to send me propaganda full of hope and change and love for Miss Glanville in the form of dirt on Lisa Vanderpump. So I was sent this story from Jezebel written by Kara Brown. I hesitate to even share it because it is so good I fear you will never return. But I hope you do. Also, it is imperative that you read every single word and the comments.
There is a DRAMATIC ending that surpasses even the part where Ken Todd randomly felt her and her companion up at PUMP! They were there after the RHOBH Reunion filmed! Guess who was there? And who wasn’t!
Okay, if you haven’t already, click the video above and let it play in the background as you head off to Jezebel. And don’t forget to come home eventually!
And thanks to my favorite Brandiloon for sending me this story. And for putting up with my hormonal mental issues over the years and being consistently nice (and hopeful).
I saw this article the other day and ate it up with a spoon! I like Lisa, but somehow the writer’s description of the condition of Villa Blanca and the food at all three places didn’t surprise me at all.
I was a little surprised by the identity of Lisa’s dining companions at Pump. I just didn’t imagine them seeing each other “outside of work”.
Surprised by Kyle & Mauricio or did I miss where her 2 male companions were id’d?
I figured they’re the ladies make-up and hair team since this was directly after the reunion. *shrug*
I had always heard that the food sucked at her restaurants. From locals.
Having to buy your bread and butter for four bucks pisses me off.
I saw this the other day and meant to send it to you TT, so sorry!! It’s a fantastic story. I was not surprised by the descriptions because my editors from that other site live in WeHo and go there all the time (they’re gay and they hate Pump). Kudos to you for posting the article, and no worries, everyone is still going to come back to you!!
I’m a lvp fan, but I also thought the article was pretty good ! Wonder if she still plans on selling villa blanca
Btw is selling bread a California thing ? I have never heard of a restaurant doing that before
I’m in NoCal and we don’t pay extra for bread even in fancy places. And I’m also a LVP fan! I actually thought her “sightings” were pretty exciting!
I’m live in SoCal (south Orange County, kind of a casual Beverly Hills vibe) but I’ve never been charged for bread at any restaurant around here OR a $4 charge for splitting an entree – crazy people!!
charging for bread is more an italian thing: pane e coperto, essentially a service charge for hanging out there.
I’ve only encountered it if the bread is more than “just” bread – garlic cheese bread, etc., so I’m wondering if that’s the case in this instance.
Sounds like it was written by someone who showed up wanting to hate it and said whatever they could to make it look bad, like Brandi Glanville. Didn’t Lisa sell Villa Blance like 9 months ago? If so, if this was written in the past year I wouldn’t be surprised if there was little effort put into it. I’m confused why nice people would see the appeal of Brandi and this article, which it seems was sharedin an attempt to insult Lisa’s character through her restaurant food? I vacationed in LA early last summer, dined at SUR, never made it to Villa Blanca, and was at Pump for drinks. I got the crispy chicken the cast of VPR also raves about and it was so juicy and delicious. Also I love mashed potatoes and hers were possibly the best I ever had. I still think of them every so often from here on the east coast.
Also, patting someone on the head and face is not feeling them up. Otherwise my grandma has some explaining to do.
No one is offering to buy VB. Still available if you are interested. I guess the Author made up all the batshit videos and uniform shirts the pictures of the burnt pizza were fake and…
Dear God Vanderpump fans are even more hardcore stupid than Brandi ones…
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 2:56 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I get what CocoTalk is saying. I had the same feeling – whenever someone seems happy to write a bad review, I get a little suspicious. The only review I’ve read about Villa Blanca that was written by an actual restaurant critic gave it a rave review. I think it was about two years ago, so maybe they’re coasting now. But I do know several people who have eaten at SUR and/or Villa Blanca fairly recently and they enjoyed their experience. I haven’t bothered, mostly because I avoid Beverly Hills like the plague, unless going there is absolutely necessary.
For a minute, I was afraid that Ken had felt up someone. Still, patting someone on the head is a bit patronizing and definitely a violation of someone’s personal space. I get the feeling that I’m missing something?
As for the video, it is kind of bizarre. It doesn’t seem to fit in with the theme, that’s for sure.
What the fuck does this have to do with Brandi?
I guess you missed the date of the article? And that this occurred just after the reunion was shot?
I guess you also missed the not so subtle subtleties about tourists –ordering chicken.
This article was introduced as shared by a “Brandiloon” is wtf it has to do with Brandi. What I meant was I wouldn’t be surprised if little effort was put into Villa Blanca in the last year, and yes that pizza looked burnt with way too many toppings and to me risotto is always gross. As I said I ordered the chicken the cast of VPR also raved about all the time. My point was I also have been there and enjoyed myself drinking and socializing and saw many people from the shows. SUR was actually much smaller than I expected and was not exactly high end dining but it was a good time. I noticed the video but didn’t sit there just watching TV long enough for it to offend me. At least they weren’t showing episodes of SUR like it was a Planet Hollywood.
i take it you didn’t look at the pics.
I loved this. Thanks for sharing.
No idea why comment appeared here.
Thanks for passing the blog on to us, TT! Sad confession: My daughter is going to take me to SUR or PUMP for Mother’s Day–maybe both. They looked gross, but I probably will get the fried goat cheese balls. First John Travolta and now Ken? What is it with these touch feely old men???
You will NEVER be allowed to post here until your turn in your complete and detailed review with photos. GO TO ALL THREE! Don’t order the Caprese and don’t mention me! LOL.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 2:59 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Hmmm…. a good friend of mine went to both Sur and Pump and enjoyed them both. Shes a New Yorker. Maybe it also has much to do with your palate.
Ay ay my captain! Spicy margaritas and goat cheese balls here I come!
I’m not sure I can do the goat balls now that I’ve seen the presentation. However, if they are really good… In college we at a nameless Chinese restaurant we called Takee Outee (takey outey) since that was the only verbiage on the store. The food was likewise unlabeled so we named them ourselves. Their cat balls were fabulous. I still don’t know what those were…unless… well they were very good in a yummy sauce so what does it matter really.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 3:27 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I ate real goat balls once, at a barbecue in Cleveland, OH. They weren’t bad–tasted like chicken of course.
plenty of new yorkers have terrible taste. if that’s your way of insulting the reviewer because you’re pissed about the bad review, that’s pretty elitist and pathetic.
i dont think the reviewers were looking to give a bad review. she seemed to look forward to the restaurant blitz, and i think she tried to be fair.
i’m always happy when my pizza has ton of toppings, but the toppings looked bland and awful and just chunky.
@lisamia, bump that! Go to Il Cielo!
Oh I love Il Cielo! It’s next door to my hair salon, so I go there often. Now I am drooling thinking about it, thanks Shay!
@lisamia, I love your comments and extra love that you know and love Il Cielo.
Thanks, Shay! And right back at you. 🙂
Don’t worry. I’m not leaving you, TT. I didn’t love it, anyway. It sounded very judgmental, and not in a funny way. I’m sure the food probably is not AMAZING, but the author sounds like a hater with no snark.
Meh.
I loved the author and covet her writing style.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 3:32 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I was underwhelmed, bored even …
i agree. at one point i laffed so loud i almost snorted & scared myself, lol.
Her writing was fantastic, but she did lack snark and the fact that ordering 3 caprese salads knowing she didn’t like them on her company’s dime instead of trying something else to tell people about — since that was the purpose and all was a little off putting. Spy on Lisa and Ken, fine. But don’t waste good money on food you know you won’t like. That is where my issue lies.
Oh my fucking God if one more person comments about her ordering the “same” caprese at every restaurant when she didn’t fucking like the first one read the entire goddam article BECAUSE SHE EXPLAINED WHY SHE DID IT
She was very good! And she didn’t seem like a hater. Just a funny girl being honest. It sounds like she likes Lisa, despite the bad food.
Beth — same. I wound up getting through half of one particularly flowery paragraph and sayings “for the love of God, get on with it” and just skipped to the next.
I prefer the snark TT throws in.
No danger of me going to their site and never returning, as TT feared.
Okay. I sit through the first video. Fine. I don’t know where you’re going with this, but I’m playing along.
Then I come across the let’s blame it on the ill-bred West Coasters! Big huge side eye looking to a particular Southern state!
But I’ll keep going to see if you can redeem yourself. 🙂
I never said west coasters were ill-bred. I’m not sure they have any real breeding whatsoever to be judged. But it was more their lack of culture I was focused on. The west coasters were not the focus of the show. The super cool story at Jezebel was the focus of the story.
God you are dense. I’m going to assume you are from Portland or somewhere.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 3:55 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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First off, my initial reply was before I read the Jezebel article. What I said was teasing you.
Second, the article was cute and fun, and I’ll just assume the West Coasters comment excluded those of us from San Francisco.
Third, way to make a person feel special about themselves by calling them dense.
Actually, San Franciscans are the worst.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 4:35 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I grew up in central California, lived in Socal for a while and currently reside in the silicon valley. I have to concur that San Franciscan’s are the worst, they tend to be so pretentious. Haha.
that “redeem yourself” comment comes across as so patronizing. that was supposed to be funny? directed at tamara yet i still bristled at it.
84 degrees today in san francisco. ugh. TT, sorry you don’t appreciate the awesomeness of your SF fans.
k, anyone who calls silicon valley “the silicon valley” probably thinks everybody is pretentious when they might just not be dumb.
i loved the article. hope the author & her friend slept ok after that stomach pump requiring experience.
I love my SF friend. I am dying to go see her but I will not be flying into that scary airport. Actually, we should probably meet next time somewhere less earth quakey.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 8:05 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Come to San Jose then, it’s marginally less quakey, you don’t have to fly to SFO, and you WILL have dinner at my house. And San Franciscans are also welcome. 🙂
we will be needing a pool. And drinks.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 11:49 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I have a pool, a BBQ, and a full bar. OF COURSE.
If I had a working phone I’d call San Fran and get her packing. She fancy and glamorous. I’m not. I think she likes gin. I am a cheap Chilean merlot kinda girl. I like extra pillows. I should be there in about 4 days. I hope you need lots of hair of the dog. I’m bringing you about 80 lbs as a hostess gift.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 1:12 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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LOL I already have 80 lbs of hairy dog!
Well sure, but this is long red dog hair! It will make a lovely sweater!
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 1:44 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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LoL ♡
Hey TT, I read the comments I saw but I couldn’t figure out the dramatic end. My apologies for being incompetent but can someone fill me in?
as a die-hard LVP fan, i was fully prepared to remove your site from my bookmarks before clicking the link. i didn’t know what to expect.i thought “what the hell is this video and who eats caprese on purpose? then i read it. GENIUS! best thing i’ve read all day…and i’m STILL Team Lisa, lolol. now i wanna visit all three on my own.
I like LVP too, just not blindly enough for some people and too much so for others. I don’t buy into all the whoop de doo and am aware of her short comings but still a fan…
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 4:25 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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“Is it a restaurant? No.” did it for me…
Thanks for the link. I wouldn’t have caught that, but I did enjoy it. A few thoughts, those are certainly tourist restaurants. Living in a very (if not largest) touristy town, it is known that restaurants targeting tourists are rarely worthy of a second visit. Also, I ran a restaurant (in Atlanta oddly enough) that charged for bread. It was our #1 complaint but the European corporate office insisted. The worst was that the bread was so salty (As was the rest of our food). Needless to say, that small chain is no longer in existence.
Ken probably thought he knew them. He’d seen them enough. I’d be laughing if he did that to us and would brag a bit. Love Ken.
God, I hate food snots.
You are just here for the leopards. We know.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 4:31 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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gaHAHA! hilarious T.T. !!
I have friends in LA that have been to Villa Blanca, SUR and PUMP. No one has ever complained about the food. No one raved about it, but it wasn’t horrible like the writer made it seem. Also, if you don’t like balsamic, why order something with balsamic and then complain about the fucking balsamic?! That’s like ordering fish and then saying you don’t like the taste of fish. Moronic.
That so-called big shocker at the end, while slightly off, was not the definition of feeling someone up. i expected to read that Ken grabbed someone’s ass. Total exaggeration.
I was going to educate you on balsamic vinegar v balsamic reduction v balsamic glaze but then read further and determined you are an idiot.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 4:41 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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TT, I have the face old people like to pet and caress. And like a cat, I close my eyes and purr.
I do know the difference, thank you. Clearly this writer eating at LVP’s restaurants did not or she wouldn’t keep ordering something she doesn’t like. She’s the idiot. Not me.
If you read the entire post, you would know that during her prepping, the author noticed the caprese salad on all three restaurant menus and decided to order them at each to compare. As always, TT nailed it.
Yo dumbass, she deliberately picked the caprese because it was on all three menus. God you are dumb.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 9:02 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I thought I was the only one! The fkn menu SAID the salads had balsamic vinegar reduction WTF did she keep ordering it?!! Just to be a btch about it? She’s complaining profusely about balsamic vinegar on CAPRESE SALAD?!? 9 times out of 10 a CAPRESE salad has balsamic vinegar on it, and it’s delicious!!! How about tell them to HOLD THE VINEGAR? Very idiotic otherwise she isn’t a bad writer.
I don’t have “personal space” issues (thankfully) like her so I wasn’t offended nor “beside myself” that an old man would pat a head or lightly touch a face, calm down. Ever been to Europe?!? We are different I suppose. I realize there are people who have issues with ANY touching so I guess I get it. But he’s an OLD MAN from Europe from a whole different generation and upbringing he wasn’t trying to be offensive or rude or even close to being perverted. I can’t believe you consider touching a face to “bring felt up”, not even close to the same sorry.
Lookers — i had a similar reaction to the caprese salad. it doesn’t make sense to be on your company’s time trying all three to compare… i don’t care what she said in her blog, that is STUPID. I worked for Wild Wing Cafe, a southern wing chain. The same man owns 3 franchises, and each franchise can do certain things their own way. The recipe he uses for both chicken salad, buffalo chicken salad, and spinach dip is much different than the corporate recipes and ALL THREE of his restaurants use that same recipe but if you were to go to one not owned by him it could be the other owner’s recipes or the corporations. However, people prefer his recipe and others (out of towners) complain that its not the same as the one in another part of the county, they have a few salad dressing that are done in a similar fashion. ALSO, salads are made different in every restaurant. It depends who makes the salad.. it could have been the waiter/waitress, it could be the expo, it could be the head chef, & what she didn’t like was the balsamic but she used a different terminology for it every single time. She called it a reduction, a glaze and a vinegar. Which one was it? Was something different used for each separate salad? So while I understand that she wanted to compare salads, that was not a wise choice to make comparisons on. I love how people get called stupid for seeing things differently or disagreeing.
I AM CALLING YOU STUPID FOR ACTUALLY BEING STUPID.
You do understand that “her employer” was paying the tab FOR HER TO TRY THE FUCKING CAPRESE SALAD AT THREE DIFFERENT ESTABLISHMENTS!
You working at a hot wings franchise does not enrich your idiotic judgments of this review in any way.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 10:01 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I would just like to say if Ken ever reached down and touched MY face (as if he’s Jesus or the Pope) and said “Nice happy face.” I would use Giggy’s bacteria laced dog tongue to wipe my face. Completely serious.
Ms. Eday. Tamara recommended your vlogs. I have enjoyed them very much.
Thx Paula! So glad you like them. With respect, Chay.
I don’t think Giggys tounge would have the requisite moisture to make that happen — I imagine it would be like rubbing a STUFFED steel wool and leather ball against your face.
You’d get a rash fa sho.
Like a lounge you lay on by the pool?
If Ken caressed my face and said I was happy I’d have wet panties for a week.
i would like ken to pat my head or cheek. unless of course said hand was propping giggy’s ass. he meant no harm & was recognizing her for what he thought was her fandom. that was actually sweet.
That was good, I’m thinking TT needs to do one like that for Bar One and the new bar in South Caroline (or North Carolina not sure where it is?), if you need a partner let me know, I don’t even mind driving in Atlanta traffic as long as music on the radio is good! 🙂
Thanks for the link TT. I enjoyed reading it, I’m still a Lisa fan. BTW I won’t be leaving you, this is becoming my second home.
That was fantastic! It doesn’t sound like the food was bad. I think I’d love fried goat cheese balls. I would be pissed that a steak had surprise sauce on it but I would have checked with the waiters as I ran down my allergy list. That’s cool if it’s a tourist restaurant. When I’m on vacation I might feel safer going to a place I’ve heard of rather than trying to find a local gem on my own. Eh, there’s a time for both so tourist spots are needed. Smart of Lisa to cash in!
OMG the end was better than $10 berries and whipped cream!!! What good gossip to know that after the torturous “worst ever” reunion Lisa and Kyle were still friends and dined together. That’s huge!! No Kim, no Eileen, no Lisa R!
How sweet of Ken. Being told you look happy is just the best thing to hear, ever! And sweet of the cheek brush. Ken sounds even sweeter than he is on the show. That’s good gossip too. I don’t care about the food because I don’t think she orders smart items.
Sorry, didn’t think that was a great blog entry. The writer comes across as a young girl just starting out with an uncultivated palate better suited to Applebee’s then these types of restaurants. BTW reduced balsamic vinegar *is* very sweet. Dining as early as they did, I’m not surprised the dining rooms of SUR and Villa Blanca were not crowded and shouldn’t be a mark against the restaurants. Ken obviously spotted them as fans of the show and was trying to be kind. I’m sure the age and cultural differences between and the girls made the girls feel uncomfortable though, but I could see no disrespect given to them by Ken.
the girls? How condescending.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 6:13 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Not surprised the food sucks — (1) they’re what you call “tourist traps” and (2) the women in BH don’t eat, so they don’t care about the food (seriously, every restaurant I’ve ever been to in BH when I’ve gone to visit — even the allegedly “good” ones, sucks compared to the food you can get in some dive bar in NOLA).
I found it more disturbing that the author thinks that people who drive Bentleys are psychotic then Ken touching them like a grandpa.
PS — what I meant about Ken touching them like a grandpa is that I think having seen them at SUR, he figured they were fans and was trying to be nice to them — but being their grandpa’s age, he did what a grandpa would do (pat their head, pat their ace) and it ended up shocking them/making them uncomfortable.
Also, what’s her deal about not like balsamic reduction on Caprese? I like balsamic on my Caprese.
That’s not really a fair comparison though because eating is just freakin good in NOLA. If you haven’t tried the Country Club yet give it a try. Their Sunday Drag Brunches are pretty good. They used to do a Puerto Rican waffle that was to die for. Even the basic stuff is just done really well at places like Eat. There are so many amazing places to eat it boggles my mind that people wait in long lines to eat at Port of Call. There are literally hundreds of better places within easy walking distance. The sheer density of restaurants here is amazing, and the prices so much better than pretty much anywhere else. There seem to be a lot of us from NOLA posting here.
I noticed that too (NOLA posters) — I’m in NC now (after Katrina) but grew up there & still have family in NOLA. Really though — every place I’ve ever eaten in LA (I have a friend who lives out there, so have visited a few times) really isn’t that good — boneless, skinless chicken breasts cooked in no oil, butter or other kind of fat is par for the course out there. Even the places that have decent food are so overpriced you still feel ripped off/like it wasn’t worth the price.
Not to mention you can’t get a sweet T. And even if you find a McDonalds they somehow do not know how to make the sweet tea. They have it, it’s just…. not drinkable.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 8:03 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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@angienc, you have not been taken to the right places, sister!! Nothing like Thai food in thai town for $6, all you can eat korean bbq in Tustin for $20, a $2 Lee’s Bahn Mi sandwich, a 5 course dinner at Il Cielo and carne asada California burritos with fresh handmade tortillas at every taco shop.
and we can’t forget all the amazing Persian and Armenian restaurants…
They sound hairy.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 8:42 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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@TT, you just close your eyes… I have had hair in my kebab once.. I couldnt identify if it was an arm hair, pube, or long eyebrow… *shrugs*
So, just like Libya then. I can do that.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 10:12 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Exactly, TT!
Shay I was stationed in southern California a while back, and one of my absolutely favorite places to eat was a Mongolian BBQ place, and oddly enough a few sushi places. The only place I’ve had it better was in Washington DC.
@Winky, you are so right. I spent 10 days eating my way through NOLA. The best vacation even.
Went to Mothers for early morning breakfast and waited in line like a local, ate at the race track from the first floor vendors and had the largest container of beer for a dollar.
I miss NOLA’s food.
@ Wonky Tonk: Your food in NOLA food is awesome. You also have great Vietnamese food. My fave!
I am surprised at the author’s surprise at being touched by Ken. She had followed him (inconsequentially) from two restaurants, and then she followed them into the garden area. Perhaps with famialiarity Ken approached these ladies and greeted them (read: touched them!) Europeans are touchy by nature. They kiss on both cheeks by instinct. He only touched their faces. He didn’t kiss them. Nothing salacious.
@wonky, I was with you until you said “Mongolian BBQ.” 🙂
@shay — I’m sure I haven’t been to the right places in LA — I admit every time I’ve been I’ve went to the tourist traps! LOL! Mr. Chow’s, the Ivy, Nobu etc. to try to see “stars” — so I can’t hate on tourist traps, they trap me!
I do admit the sushi in LA is the best I’ve ever had. Next time I’ll have to seek out some Thai & Vietnamese places.
Wait ohmygod what the hell is your first video TT???? Is that the video playing in the bar? I can’t!!!!
That was great. Thank you for that. I am surprised about the extra charges and no free birthday treat. Kinda cheap. Sounds like typical restaurant food that is overpriced but I would still go to see the “stars” in action too. I draw the line at touching my face & patting my head though.
Thanks for the link TT, fun article.
As for the damned video, I’m going to hearing the whispered “Ashes to snooooooooooow” every night as I”m trying to sleep….thanks for the nightmares 😛
*be hearing….
You’re a hard nut to crack, Tamara. I’ve admired how you’ve come through the other end of hell with your problems. Are you warmly chiding me when you say San Franciscan’s are the worse. I’ve always felt a warm, kindred spirit towards you. Perhaps I am dense and you’re just calling me out as an asshole. It’s hard to tell. I like to think the better of you.
Ironically, the Brandiloon who sent me this link, my absolute favorite Brandiloon is from San Francisco. It seems the Brandilooniness is strong there.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 6:59 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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She must live where all the pretty white people are. There are many different sides to SF.
She is in fact the prettiest white person I know. How could you tell?
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 7:05 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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that blog entry was too long for my taste! And 700 something comments I was not going to entertain. I’m more happy the author had her celebrity citings! I could totally relate to her explaining bravo has stolen countless of hours and somehow this citing made her vindicate the unexplainable loyalty to bravo programming. The restaurant reviews however don’t tarnish the admiration I have for LVP as a business woman capitalizing on the bravo platform… More reason to admire LVP with making all the tourists stop by! She dropped $300 that night, not including tips.
I’m a clairvoyant living in The Mission.
Of course you are.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 7:15 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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That was a fun post. Lisa is a master illusionist . I wonder if she has a “Bethenny Clause” in her Bravo contract, relating to the restaurant’s, wine, vodka, or if her popularity is such that she can X out that clause and still have a job.
RHOBH have a weird contract. Because, California. They get a lump sum for the season unlike other franchises and all the highway robbery stuff I don’t think is allowed in. It’s not quite a union contract but not the Bravo owns your soul contract the other franchises sign.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 7:19 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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My caprese salads are more impressive then that! I don’t get the pizza with raw veggies and burnt crust. Didn’t surprise me since places like this are tourist hot spots
That pizza sounded and then looked so gross right??
Roasted chicken? Ugh…I almost wanted to tell them they asked for it lol
Then again, I would have sent it back when it arrived to my table BURNED unless they ordered it crispy.
I got physically angry at the pizza because it looks like there’s no cheese glue holding all the toppings on. When you take a piece everything falls off so then you’re eating soggy bread and then forking the toppings. Fucking bullshit!!
I don’t think people in California eat cheese.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 9:52 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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That is bullshit!
I can’t really understand people that don’t eat cheese.
I’m pretty sure people who don’t eat cheese are aliens living among us. Ditto “lactose intolerant ‘people’ ” are not people at all but extra terrestrials living here amongst us with malicious intent who must be executed.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 6:03 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I enjoyed the link. Thank you for sharing. I had read about the restaurants on Urbanspoon when VPR first came on out of curiosity. (Hope I’m not breaking a rule.)
I would have rather judged the restaurants on their Caesars rather than their capreses, especially if I did not care for the balsamic glaze. I also would have went for the carpaccio or Ahi tuna or other small plates. I never order pizza in a “fancy” restaurant. Just a thing of mine, I guess.
LOL this is awesome. When I went to view the first video, I thought you were implying that it was some sort of music video that was indicative of your emotional state – then in 30 second increments I skipped through it trying to find any form of context until I fell upon (a gorgeous) African just chilling next to a family of cheetahs(?). I literally laughed out loud.
Then 10 minutes later I’m reading about the video playing at SUR and I think “how weird I saw something equally as vapid but I don’t remember what”
It took an embarrassingly long time to make the connection.
Great find though – I love both Jezebel and Gawker.
Shut up – I know they’re leopards.
But what about the dead person. I could totally tolerate drinking with the cheetahs or leopards or whatever and I could overlook the adolescent breastfeeding… but wtf with the dead body?
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 8:30 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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LVP is like teflon baby the shit don’t stick. Part of that, well at least for me anyway, is that I’m aware of the court cases, I suspected the restaurants were tourist fare, just as I suspect that sangria line is probably average at best, but the thing is she’s so entertaining I don’t really hold any of that against her. And lets face it they got hit hard for being stupid and not just paying the woman a few hundred, and changing her shift. Life is hard, it’s harder if you’re stupid, and that was a Lisa/Ken stupid moment for which they’re paying, but it’s not like they don’t have tons of money to spare. She has to be the most successful housewife on any of the shows at monetizing the shit out of her appearance on the show. Cumulatively the couple is worth something like 150 million. Love her, or hate her you gotta at least respect that. That blog entry read like confirmation bias to me, probably unintentional, but that’s how it read to me.
I totally thought the author was thrilled with the assignment that was probably her idea. I didn’t get that she disliked Lisa at all. In fact she tried too excuse Lisa for lots of the crap. She said she hoped some of the dumb shit wasn’t Lisa’s idea. She was thrilled to see Ken and Lisa and Kyle. She ordered Lisa’s potato salad.
She just gave an objective review of the food. DID YOU NOT SEE THE PICTURES? I would not even put a fork in that.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 8:44 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Oh yeah totally agree. I’ll bet it was at absolute best average. The goat cheese balls sound disgusting to me and a couple of those salads didn’t look appetizing at all. I didn’t pick up on any Lisa V hate in the article at all.
I wanted the goat balls myself, until I saw them atop some phallic veggies squirted with jizz.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 10:02 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Well, the other Brandiloon can’t be me. I currently live on the West Coast but in a city that has been overrun by East Coasters for the last two decades. Go back! 🙂 P.S. Second best is better than nada.
It’s totally you. The #1 Loon and I enjoy drinks by the pool. You would love it but the two of you would politely roll me into the ocean and become besties. I shall keep you two separated.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 9:19 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Bring her down to CR! We’ll all lay by the beach and I promise no one will “roll you”. LOL
TT, thank you for the link. That was a well written, informative and personable article.
I read a lot of the comments also. The locals seemed to agree with Kara Browns assessment of the food.
I don’t understand how anyone can mess up a caprese salad, it’s only requirement is fresh food.
Yeah im a cuckoo bird fan I’d love to go to Villa Blanca to be caught on camera or run into LVP or Giggy
I had to google what a caprese salad is. I didn’t know that’s what it was called! But what is the ingredient she mentioned that started with a “b” in it?
Burrata is a type of cheese kato711.
It was drizzled with olive oil and a balsamic glaze which is balsamic vinegar and honey.
I love NY pizza from the pizzeria for $2 which is why I never order pizza in restaurants. If Italian, I order pasta. At a steakhouse, steak. At a diner, a burger. I find that if I order something that is not their specialty like fish at a diner, it rarely tastes as good or worse…it is terrible.
Not what I was talking about
Burrata is mozzarella stuffed with a butter and sugar mixture.
Thank you Toddler! I’ve never heard of that in my life! People really enjoy that? It sounds bizarre.
I don’t know what you have been eating but burrata does not have butter and sugar in it. It is simply regular mozzarella with a softer mozzarella filling inside softened with cream and ricotta. It is delicious when fresh.
You’re both right. I googled it because the sugar sounded gross and it’s Wikipedia page says sometimes the cream inside includes sugar. I’m thinking for use in a caprese salad it would not include the sugar. I hope!
*my Wikipedia mention was citing my sources to clear up a misunderstanding.
So you are saying that a caprese salad should not have a sugary glaze on it either because it is a salad and not an Easter ham? PLEASE GOD TELL ME THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.
And then sit down and stop saying things for awhile.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 11:25 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Dammit Tamara I’m leaving forever and never commenting on this blog again. I said it sounded gross! I’m so sick of this fucking salad I’m never eating one again.
READ THE GODDAMN RULES ON YOUR WAY OUT YOU IDIOT!
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 12:56 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Thank you. The level of crazy and stupid in this comment section is obscene today.
And next comes the angry “I am leaving this site forever” suicide notes.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 11:08 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I’ve never tried it myself. Just have a recipe someone gave me years ago and thought it sounded gross.
Well, that certainly makes you a burrata expert who should feel free to jump into conversations on the Internet and explain the finer points of burrata production and suggested uses. You should probably write a book based on your vast knowledge. You could call it Burrata: My Encyclopedia of Knowledge.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 12:11 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Oh God no.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 7:15 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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for those people just joining in, here’s where the comments go all to hell, tamara blows her top, and caprese becomes the most hated word in restaurant lingo…
I read this on twitter and people were saying that Kara is a friend of Kristen’s. True or not, I like her snarkiness. It was a funny and well written hatchet job.
I was surprised they ate so much of the risotto and pizza. If the food is bad, I wont eat it. Maybe all three of her restaurants have bad food and are overpriced tourist traps and Lisa has no taste. I have never eaten there but I constantly see tweets that it is hard to get a reservation and that people love the food so other people with terrible taste must find it good too! Lol
Really? You are seriously not going to make it 24 hours without posting shit from other places here as if they are fact. STOP IT!
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 10:15 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Sorry, Ms. TT. (Goes back to corner).
TT, California Cheese, remember the black/white cow on TV told you how great our cheese is?
Cheese is a favorite food out here and served in small tasting size, paired with fruit and wine. Ha ha
lies.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 10:39 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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and the earthquakes make our milkshakes extra yummy.
Lisas restaurants are not fine dining so I don’t understand why they would expect them to be. Pricing is consistent for that area. Caprese always has balsamic, half the time it’s a reduction. (I was in Seattle a couple yrs ago and they had balsamic gelee on their caprese. Kind of cool.
I’ve been to villa Blanca a few years ago. I thought the food was good but hardly a culinary experience. I thought it was pretty inside,but it was a while ago and dimly lit at night. Pandy was our waitress. So much prettier in person. Sad I didn’t see Lisa or ken or the gigster.
I’d recommend anyone in LA to go to ink by top chef winner mike vottagio (so).
I read through it at your suggestion. I felt it was negative from the get. They seem like nice girls but I feel the article was meant to have this tone before they even stepped foot in the place. I think Villa Blanca is the redheaded step child that gets the least attention. I prefer your writing style TT. I did not want to finish reading but I needed to see if there was a point.
I struggled reading past the section where she complained about the $85 lunch bill for two people. Umm wtf? Lunch in Melbourne at an OK bistro restaurant will always go over $100 to $150 easy for me and my partner. Our last Vue de Monde bill was more than 50 times their Villa Blanca bill.
Complain about the shit food all you want, but if the waiter asked for my order 10 minutes after siting down, I would be annoyed. I need time to think!
@micheal, you spend over $4,250 on a meal for 2 and think that’s the benchmark? I could literally fly myself and another to Santorini, Greece and spend 5 nights in Oia, in a hotel carved out of the cliffside of the volcano, and eat well for a total of $4,250. I know people that spend a million dollars on a hand of blackjack that wouldn’t spend $4,000 on a meal for 2. I am both impressed and curious!
It was with tip 6k. The point I was making is that it is all relative. If you think $85 is too expensive for lunch, then the venue isn’t probably catering to you as their demographic.
It is fair to critique the quality of the food. The dishes didn’t look special. However, for their price what was expected? White truffles from Alba?
I am available for Santorini.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 12:03 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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“In case anyone missed the constant inferences in the Melbourne threads, I want you all to know I think I’m rich”
@Varrous noted. I wont comment further in the Melb posts if it is so egregious.
@micheal, eew. Don’t let the negmos affect you. I find your posts to be humorous and charming.
Is egregious one of them big old fancy words you learned at your big old fancypants school?
🙂
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 5:38 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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lol really? that is not necessary to threaten to quit posting as if I was even suggesting that just to gain support from all the posters who love the geographical tea you provide.
I just think it is any combination of weird odd and suspicious you feel the need to regularly comment on a blog about you and your seeming relationship with money – Its like watching RHOC Alexis all over again.
We need to get you one of Nene’s Rich Bitch T shirts. That way you would not have to keep telling us.
On Sat, Mar 14, 2015 at 11:37 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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@TT, you and Micheal have some rapport. Ask him to skip lunch tomorrow and fly us to Melbourne. I can throw down in the kitchen and he will see its worth every thousand.
I have a room reservation at Chez Micheal but I’m gonna need to like stop throughout south America or something. I can’t go much over 9 hours on one flight.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 12:46 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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It was a special occasion that night. normal dinners are 300-500. Depends if I have to work the next day (aka how much booze I can have).
@micheal, shhh. We are building dreams here. @TT, how do you feel about the Galapagos Islands? We can stomp around Melbourne, hit Thailand, Japan, then Hawaii on the way back.
Galapagos is fine. No Asia.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 1:04 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Seriously.
I had no interest in the color of the author but was wondering why the comment that she dislikes anything excessively white. Later, she followed with identifying servers were white. She seemed to take offence at the inclusion of the ethnic video. I just do not know what that had to do with the restaurant review, so I looked at her picture. Okay, a chip on her shoulder, like Brandi.
She should know Villa Blanca would have white decor and who frequents Beverly Hills as employees or diners and shoppers. The video was strangely beautiful. It doesn’t need to have a plot. This is not a sports bar where you pay attention to what’s on tv. Considering asking about the redundant embroidery on the server’s shirts as investagitive reporting is stupid. I would not order the same salad I hated twice for a 3rd time because I initially had that thought to do so.
She is an okay writer, not surprised she does like someone like Brandi. I expect Ken was being polite, in his mind, two women that keep showing up, probably want to be noticed.
The prices were like good or famous for something Chicago restaurants.
What on earth makes you think she likes Brandi? You LVP worshippers seem to be looking for vitriol where there is none. I’ve read several reviews like this on Gawker. I’d tell you about them but you don’t seem to appreciate humorous restaurant reviews. Too bad you will miss out on the one about the American Girl café. Sorry. You don’t DESERVE it.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 12:14 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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OMG, TT, I didn’t want to bring up other blogs but the American Girl Cafe and Polo Lounge reviews were everything.
Exactly. But we shant discuss them with these whiney heathens.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 1:10 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I read your comment as if this review was written by a “Brandiloon”. Now confused what that has to do with any restaurant reviews not written by, about, or the presence of Brandi, but the term continues in comments. Unimportant, in any case. I enjoy most anything you write best.
Yeah I’m very surprised at how many people never heard of Gawker. Gawker is all snark all day!
I didn’t like this blog post. Not because she didn’t enjoy the food at the restaurants but because I find this to be very poor and biased journalism. Yes, journalism. This article and venture was not for fun as it was on her company’s dime. On a full huge menu she ordered the caprese salad KNOWING she didn’t like their balsamic reduction and yet complained about it every time. Time and time again we have heard of these celebrity owned restaurants being difficult – none as bad as Peter’s Bar One though. I just felt like if you’re gonna go to 3 restaurants owned by the same people, I wouldn’t order the same salad 3 times only to complain about it every single time. I would have rather heard about all the different options of food instead of the same thing over and over. I live in Asheville, NC. Downtown is all locally owned restaurants, and there are a lot of interesting recipes and dishes from chefs being allowed to showcase creativity. A lot of it is hit and miss but if something is a miss I’m certainly not going to order it at another restaurant they own & continue to complain. Also, I do fail to see how Ken felt them up. He’s just a touchy European man.
You are an idiot. In a world where the actual main stream media news can’t give an unbiased report on war and pestilence, yet it goes unchallenged daily, you somehow want A RESTAURANT REVIEW (or 3) to be “unbiased.” Do you know what bias is? It’s HAVING AN OPINION! Do you know what a restaurant/movie/TV show review is? It’s GIVING AND OPINION!
You people obsession with someone deliberately comparing the same across three restaurants and commenting that the three different locales all use a syrupy, sweet balsamic glaze best used on an Easter Ham rather than a splash balsamic vinegar in some olive oil LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE is insane!
If the three restaurants had braised human babies in a balsamic glaze and diced them up and tossed them on the caprese and called them Vanderpumps Abortions Salad you would have all said that LVP has a tremendous cutting edge culinary style.
They put BALSAMIC FUCKING GLAZE on a shitty caprese salad, THREE TIMES. THEY HAD THREE FUCKING CHANCES TO MAKE A SIMPLE SALAD AT THREE SEPARATE LOCATIONS AND FUCKED IT UP THREE TIMES! WHY IS THIS THE FAULT OF THE POOR YOUNG LADY FOR HAVING HOPE, FOR SOME CHANGE, EVERYTIME?
The caprese salad at all three of LVP’s establishments was a fail. HOPE AND CHANGE was a fail. Elderly men pawing you is a fail.
THIS WAS THE ASSESSMENT OF THE RESTAURANT!
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 9:43 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Girl, we’re talking about Jezebel, not the New York Times.
Journalism has nothing to do with Jezebel — it’s all about the click bait.
IT’S A REVIEW! A REVIEW IS BY NATURE SOMEONE’S OPINION.
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 2:42 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Exactly — it’s a restaurant review on Jezebel, not the New York Times.
I actually would expect a NYT restaurant reviewer not to go in with any kind of preconceived notions about the owner/chef (or to fight against any preconceived notions in his/her review) nor would I expect to get a NYT reviewer’s opinion on the owners or guests.
On the other hand, I don’t expect that AT ALL from a restaurant reviewer on Jezebel. Hence observations about Ken driving a Bentley (and people who drive Bentleys are psychotic); Kyle walking in wearing a too tight dress, etc. are par for the course in a *restaurant* review on Jezebel but would probably go unmentioned in a NYT one.
I understand how you could be getting vibes of bias – as in she was going IN with the preconceived notion that it was going to be terrible – but I really think that if the food and service were great then she just would have said so.
I’m not sure how I feel about the Ken thing. Jezebel lives for complaining about sexism, racism, and cultural appropriation; sometimes they’re on point, and sometimes I read something like I did yesterday about how Cinderella is a morally bankrupt Disney facade, but yet she is sick of the main characters being “lily-white”. Then she ended it with something like “what year is it going to have to be to see some progress”
The commenters are ALWAYS on point though. Someone posted a picture of the Cinderalla movie starring Brandy (the singer/actress from the 90s, not the tampon) with the caption “1997?”. There was also a lot of “so you hate the food but the portions are too small?”
(Sorry if this is breaking the rules – I figured, in the spirit of the posting…)
I love reading Jezebel. The articles are always worth a laugh. The cultural appropriation ones are my favs.
I’m only a part-time Brandiloon thank you VERY much!!
And I only like you when you are not having “your special brandi time!”
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 2:10 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Omg! I feel validated! People always rave about Lisa’s great taste but I’ve always hated her frilly fru fru white and pink and mirrors thing. Also I dislike most of her clothes and her super pink blush. I like Lisa though, but her taste is dated.
Another interesting thing this article shows is that Kyle lied about being so traumatized by the reunion that she had to go home and spend a few days in bed (like she said in that video TT made reference to where Kyle also said that everyone was crying after the Lisa R. glass smash incident).
I had not heard she made that comment, but had she, that doesn’t necessarily prohibit a post reunion recovery dinner. As you describe it, I don’t see the two as mutually exclusive.
It kind of does show a different picture than the one Kyle was painting in the interview.
Kyle and someone else said that everyone went so PUMP afterward. However the new girls, particularly Eileen and Yo who live an hour or so away did not. Kim can’t drink and Brandi was not welcome. Dos Rinna live in Malibu too?
On Sun, Mar 15, 2015 at 8:59 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I think Rinna lives in Sherman Oaks.
I’ve learned to enjoy reading all perspectives when these things arise. I’ll stand by my thoughts that the author was an idiot with poor food choices & I just didn’t agree with the way she went about it. If that makes me an idiot, fine. TeeCee has been called an idiot many times and I find them to be quite amusing.
Agreed. I will join you in the idiot corner.
The best part was when she said they think Giggy is stuffed! hahaha; I thought I was the only one who was creeped out by his utter lack of movement.