Well, fuck. I was just watching last night’s idol and doing a bit of hormonal singing and crying. VOTE FOR QUENTIN! We have 3 great black guys in the top 12 and the black guy vote is being split and Quentin is on the bubble. I loves me some Quentin! And also vote for Joey with the green hair and the Ukulele! #StayWeird! Anyway, I was doing that and eating tons of stuff from Trader Joe’s (currently sliced pear with goat cheese) instead of recapping so I am off to a very late start with Real Housewives of Melbourne but am all ready to go now!
We start with PetitFleur at a fancy car dealership. Please forgive me if I FF though this. Then I FF thought Lydia shopping for dog clothes or whatever. Then I FF through Gamble doing something with her dog. I think Gamble’s rich husband, Rick, is very good-looking. Win-Win!
Gamble and Rick are hosting a murder mystery party. I am excited by this. It has a witches theme. That is rather odd, but whatever. Janet doesn’t need a special outfit for this potty. Pettifleur is a cunt.
Two lunches occur. Lydia is stuck with Pettifleur, who is bashing Gamble. She calls Gamble stupid. And when Lydia asked what she thought of her she said she found her pretentious. She would be the expert on pretense. I’ll take Lydia over Petti any day. Lydia asks if Petti is from Indian origin. She says no and that she is Swiss, and a bunch of other things. I think she is Indian.
At the other lunch, Janet is bashing Pettifleur for being rude and well, pretentious. Gamble called Petti Nouveau Riche and says she is only interested in money. 
Finally, I get some Giner and it’s with Petti. /Heavy Sigh. Gina looks as bored as I am listening to Petti talk. It looks Like Gina is stuck riding in the limo to the potty with Petti.
Did Rick just propose to Gamble? I didn’t realize they were not already married. I didn’t see that coming. It was a very simple dinner and Rick suddenly got sentimental and blurted it out. It was sort of adorable.
The ladies arrive at Gamble’s house and it is really decorated to the hilt with dozens of chandeliers and candles and cobwebs and cats and an elaborate food display with dismembered body parts and such. And Gamble looks amazing. Petti is obviously jealous of Gamble’s fiancé and quickly makes a ridiculous stab at his appearance. It’s rather like Nene making stabs at Cynthia’s appearance. Quite laughable. Janet however is loving Rick.
Lydia is the last to arrive. She is the witch from Snow White and carries a basket of poison apples.
The looked like fun but they really weren’t that into it. Petti rambled on about her stupid bitch book. No one cared. Rick announced that Gamble is soon to be his wife. Janet is sad and jealous. Janet is dying to spread rumors and lies about Gamble. Janet is a cunt.
The next day Gamble, Janet and Chyka go out for lunch. Chyka says that she has heard a rumor that Gina is ENGAGED!!! We are not sure if this is true so for now, until at least Micheal arrives it will be unconfirmed. Chyka starts talking about fun gossip versus mean gossip. This gives Janet the opportunity to tell Gamble the gossip that is out about her. And Chyka (!!!) is the first to start the spilling! Janet says she heard that Gamble is a stripper and a call girl. As a job! Says Janet. As a serious job! Yes Janet being a stripper and a call girl is a job. If it were a hobby it would just be a whore. We get it. You think she is paid for sex. Gamble giggles and says that’s interesting! I didn’t know they called me that! Janet says it get worse. Gamble is all like, “do tell!” Janet says there are all these SEX POTTIES! Gamble disappointed me. I would have said, “Darling there are sex parties every Saturday night! I’d love to invited you sometime but I’m afraid membership is currently closed! Can you pass the salt, please?” But sadly Gamble said there are no sex parties and that is insulting. Where are you getting this information? Janet says it’s viral among her friend everyone has mentioned it! Gamble wants a name and Janet says Carlos P. So now Gamble seems to recall a sex party. Damn, if there really ARE sex parties then all the more reason to acknowledge them! Gamble talks about her personal trainer girlfriends who had a pool party she was at. It was not a sex party it was a bunch of hot girls having a swim! ( In the lady pond?) Gamble is not pissed at Janet for making everything such a huge drama and saying that everyone is talking about her. Meanwhile Janet the cunt satchel is rubbing Gambles back while she is talking. I’d have cut her hand off by now.
Next Week: Since Janet has actually sent for Gamble, Gamble comes for Janet. I hope T. Kyle is making gifs because there is one of Janet I need. Because Janet is a cunt.
Thx for the recap..I had to choose between Scandal and the girls from Mel…and I knew you would do it justice. I caught the last 5 mins of Janet + Chyka + Gamble. Could not be more ob-v…Janet is sooo jealous. Gamble is younger, with a better house and gets to have sex potties in said home. You are so right on Pettifleur. Swiss blood my arse…she is Sri Lanka all day long. Rachel Roy (shoe diva) is Indian and swedish…girl is model tall with legs for days.
Did she not say she had a round Arabic ass? She sounds at little Indian but not quite. I think you are right with Sri Lanka.
I thought she said Arabic but when I rewound and replayed I think she said aerobic.
The very first episode, she said she was Sri Lankan. Said it twice, as a matter of fact. The second time, was at the party for Janet. Pettifleur said her mom is Sri Lankan and her dad is of European origin.
You think she’s Indian because she is . She’s an idiot she also has a slight Indian accent . I think you missed the proposal when you ff through Gamble .
I only ff through gamble with the dog. I never FF past Jack! 🙂
On Thu, Mar 12, 2015 at 11:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I love Rick! Terrific sense of humor, beautiful eyes, kindness oozing from him. Gamble seems to genuinely love him too. I agreed with every last work of your recap. Janet is one nasty bitch!
He is a handsome old guy with all his hair !
Can we just shortcut this and do a Rocky Horror style shout out every time you type Janet’s name it is followed by her descriptor ala Janet(cunt).
I’ve got something to say Janet Weeeiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 1:14 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I can’t remember TT, but didn’t you like Janet last season? Or was it just indifference?
I think Lydia was the one I liked that no one else did. I could be wrong. But anyone that flies somewhere to purchase cheese is my personal Jesus.
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 9:46 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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She’s Sri Lankan. Along with some European but she’s mostly Sri Lankan. She used another term for what it used to be called before it was Sri Lanka, much like the Shahs call themselves Persian.
Exactly. I don’t get why people are acting like she denied it. She mentioned it twice.
Pettifleur thinks oh so highly of herself (rolling eyes). Is she going to end up in the corner by herself? Of course she might not notice. Not much happened tonight. I do have a question for Micheal. Is it an Aussie thing for ladies to call their boyfriends partners? Gamble has a partner and Gina has a partner. It confused me at first
People who live together here, but are not married, call them their “partner”. It denotes that the relationship is more serious than “boyfriend” but not yet engaged.
Hi Angel, we say “partner” which means a serious relationship .. Boyfriend sounds a bit childish or someone you are seeing exclusively but you are not living together.. Or talking about a future life together. So a serious relationship where you are living together but not married you would refer to your man as your partner.. (Your life partner)
Without a doubt that woman is from Sri Lanka … Ive never heard anyone from switzerland speak english with an indian/sri lankan accent. I used to have a swiss boyfiend and when he and his friends in zurich spoke english they all sounded like Boris from Rocky & Bullwinkle. Trust me that woman is not from switzerland, she may have gone there for a holiday but thats as far as that goes. She is what we call a “wanker”.
This. At their age having a ‘boyfriend’ sounds way too immature down under. We all just use partner now. It is also gender neutral, so less likely to offend anyone.
I mentioned last night that in the US partner usually means business partner or serious same sex relationship. Which as you can see can get a bit dicey at times. 🙂 I think I was replying to a comment that was unknowingly in moderation… so here it is again. :)
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 5:11 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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She did say she was Sri lankan/ swiss and two other caucasian nationalities that I can’t recall.
I live in Canada and I say “partner” because “boyfriend” sounds childish at 36. But i find people sometimes seem confused as to whether my partner is a he or she.
Good point! Also, it’s interesting the order in which she announces her heritage is with Swiss & Turkish first and Portuguese & Sri Lankan last (almost as a mumble & with a different name) though it’s fairly obvious those are the greater percentage of her background. So weird – me thinks someone has a complex!
I think i remember her saying that she was Sri Lankan but she calls it something else. It almost seems that she will identify herself with every other nationality first but will save that one for last. Does she not want to admit it? I mean she can’t hide it because her accent reveals all. Janet looked so jealous when Chyka mentioned Gina’s engagement. I still like Gamble, and yes she does look exactly Ivanka Trump. Still like Gina. The rest… meh!!!
I have zero knowledge on the subject but i think she lived in sri lanka when it was known as ceylon, maybe there’s a pride/political issue there with the country’s name change or something. Maybe it had something to do with her/her family leaving? maybe i think too much.
Yea, she used the term and Jacki said, I thought you were Sri Lankan.” And she said, [Said term] IS Sri Lankan.
You mean Ivana, not Ivanka, right? >:^)
Oh yeah…Ivana. Thanks!
KB, I normally wouldn’t have posted about this, but I couldn’t resist being a little snarky about her age, lol!
It also shows how Chyka and Gina have grown apart since last season (filmed well over a year ago by now, maybe 2 years?). They may have some mutual friends but that is it. Have you all noticed how Chyka and Gina have not really filmed just the two of them? Interesting.
Pettifleur mentioned her Sri Lankan ethnicity in the first episode when she slowly rattled off all of her makeup, expecting everyone to be impressed. Janet was and asked the exact follow up question to be expected, ‘what language do you speak?’ She meant languages plural but Pettifleur took it as an opportunity to fly her cunt flag and say ‘English, duh!’ Now Janet hates her, which I agree with!
Even if Pettifleur (Tamara, permission to rename her Petty Cunt?) never admits her Sri Lankan ethnicity, it’s all over her face 😉 Her very, extremely, unattractive face which makes it hilarious when she calls other people ugly.
I think it was Jackie that asked what language. Jackie is a dumb one, but maybe she did mean languages? I can’t even tell if Petti has another accent under her Australian one…
She said Celonese
I was surprised Chyka helped Janet ambush Gamble. I do think her intentions were good but helping Janet’s bad intentions I guess throws me off. Chyka must not realize Janet isn’t a nice person. I hate Lydia but I loved her Disney witch outfit!!!! Pettifleur has only awful things to say. I hope Gina takes Gamble’s side! So what if she was a call girl or not! I hope someone emails TT more information about the rumours.
Janet was probably a call girl much like phedra throwing around the whore word when she the one who is a whore with a terrible reputation
Chyka knew what was about to be said by Janet. Chyka is a bad girl this season. 😀
That makes me sad.
Why??????
Ugh, she was such a stand out last season, she’s been hanging out w/ Janet too much.
LOL You’re killing me Micheal! You say that but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt until she does something directly vile. In this case I’m holding on to the hope that she doesn’t realize Janet’s a bitch and manipulated her into a lackey role. I love the way Gamble turned that right back around on Janet. That was priceless.
I have a lot of faith that everyone will recognise that Chyka is a famewhore, who loves to stir the pot. She isn’t horrible, that is Janet’s role this season. Chyka is far from the peacemaker however.
Still it is not like she is on the same level as Brandi or Tamra. Our ladies are not that trashy….yet.
Oh and Gamble has a certain way with words at times. 😉
Is Gamble at all hard for you to understand? Because I have no idea what she is saying half the time…
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 9:45 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I can understand her fine. She does have a bit of a hillbilly aussie mumbling nasally accent. I guess we are becoming like America, in that each state/area has developed their own twang.
People comment that I don’t sound Australian at all sometimes.
I thought Gamble looked really great at her party, but how was that a witch costume? It looked more like sexy Marie Antoinette to me. Although she obviously came on with an agenda to ride Gina’s coattails, I’m warming up to her — still can’t understand half the stuff she mumbles, though.
I love that Gina’s costume was basically a long black dress that she’d wear to a gala (or something) while the others went with actual costumes — it was like she was saying “witch” is my normal wear.
Janet is trying to sabotage Gamble & Wolfie’s engagement — while pretending to be oh so worried about what these rumors would do to said relationship. She thinks she being slick, but she’s obvious. She’s not just a cunt — she’s the queen of cunts.
Can’t stand Pettifleur. She’s such a poser & needs to fuck off of my tv screen. She got soooo offended when Gina zoned out of her droning on about the Switch the Bitch crap. Hee hee!
“Witch is my normal wear” looove that! Can we cross-stitch that on a pillow?
Her book idea made zero sense. Gina, thankfully, was super turned off by it & her arrogance – Gina is still the queen!
OMG that effing book. I’m like STFU about that book, nobody cares, and if you’re going to write one, and insist on obnoxioufying up the airwaves, yapping on, and on about it, at least have a freakin cogent synopsis at the ready. Something better than “it’s about bitches and being a bitch, and how not to be a bitch while you own your inner bitch, know what I mean bitches” Jesus between her and Andrea Moss and her clueless “Imma show you to to do everything better book” It’s like the Real Housewives of Pointless Books over there. I did laugh when the ladies ignored her though.
The scene where Pettifluer discusses her book with her ‘writer’ friend/co-author, are amazing. I think that is next week. By the end of this season we will all be dreading the phrase ‘flip/switch the bitch’.
Didn’t she get the memo about Andrea’s book? Look how successful that was. Foxtel/viewers made a mockery of Andrea’s parenting skills.
For some stuck up reason Pettifleur cannot say the words “I am from Sri Lanka.” Instead this stuck up bitch says she is Ceylonese. Sri Lanka used to be called Ceylon until the the 1940’s. This pretentious cunt wasn’t even born during this era to be called Ceylonese unless she’s really in her 70’s.
But in her defense Ceylon/Sri Lanka is/was a multiracial island due to the history of Dutch, Portugese, & British rule/occupancy so I’m sure she has a multi-racial heritage but this bitch is putting on an elitist front. I HATE HER.
Next she’s be “Persian” or “Macedonian”
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 4:17 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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That Witch themed party was so weird in the fact that Rick was the only man there among all the HW.
That was akward/interesting to me as well. Most men would scoff at the idea of heading an all female dinner.
I found it odd at first, too, but I think Rick just loves Gamble so much he wants to support her and make her happy. So far I gotta say I like their relationship.
He shows just how much he loves Gamble a lot this season. He seems like a great guy. A little too botoxed for my liking, but he is wise and compassionate towards Gamble. Never really condescending, like some older partners can be.
Hi! Wish you hadn’t FF Pettifluers car dealership scene. She said she wants mirrors on the floor so she can check out her landing strip whilst she drives. Cause she goes commando. She said this last week as well to Gina, as you do when first meeting someone, at Janet’s party. I’m to visual. I don’t want to see her ‘go commando’. Enough please.
Agree… Vomit rising at the thought
She’s such a dick
Lol me neither! Did you notice in ep 1 when she told her family about getting a Bentley? Crickets. Her husband/sponsor gave her this look like…seriously? And then said something about her having to develop a few more properties to buy it…..poser.
I actually fast forward to avoid things exactly like that. I wish you would have FF.
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 4:53 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yeah but then you missed her say how she deserves it because she came to the country and worked her way up to be a really fabulous property developer, just apparently not fabulous enough to be able to afford a 400+k car. And the obnoxious way she got her Chanel Bag on camera. That woman is clueless, or shameless or both. I think she really buys in to herself as superior. Also I think you may be right about her husband wanting rid of her based on that creepy family meal. I mean if she’s this open about the financial demands she puts on him like this in public if I were him I’d buy that Bentley and then kick her to the curb from it at 80 miles per hour.
What’s janet done to her face? .. When she was waving her arms around mocking Gamble I kept thinking how her mouth was pulled so tight it reminded me of a snapping turtle. Oh and the look on her face watching Petitfleur from sri lanka twerking and then has the audacity to whip out a sparkly mini dress suitable for an 18 year old girl. Mutton dressed up as lamb is not classy.
Hahahahaha…mutton!
“Mutton dressed as lamb!” My fave British term!
Can someone explain to me what’s going on w/ her eyes? They look wrinkle free from front on, but in profile they crease like crazy, almost as though she has tape on them or something. Did anyone else see that?
No! You overlooked the fact that Chyka clearly knew what Janet was about to say, and baited the conversation. Chyka is a puppet master this season. Calling it!
I was surprised by Chyka already! But if she keeps it up like this, she will keep most of the stank off of her.
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 9:52 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Chyka dodges the bullets well. I hope that watching the show the ladies will figure out her m.o.
Are you all excited for the heroin addict to be exposed soon? 😉
What?
Well Gina wants to move to LA/BH I believe. The only reason she won’t announce her engagement is probably because of the show, and that her bf requires privacy.
But that isn’t what I’m talking about. We aussies have been repeating one sentence for the last week now. All will be revealed soon.
@ micheal please do tell
Omg Michael, spill it!! You can’t leave us hanging like this!! Who is it?!!
Don’t leave us hanging like that Michael! I want to say that the guess is either Gamble or Janet (because she is a massive C U Next Tuesday).
I say Gamble. She sounds like her mouth is full of rocks and seems half asleep at times.
LOL. The fact it is not true somehow makes it even better. :)
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 10:01 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Teehee. It is pretty funny. Makes me like Gamble even more.
I didn’t understand how Lydia’s costume was supposed to be the witch from Snow White aside from the basket of apples. She was wearing a Puritan costume. When the ladies started gushing over her and asking about her look my first thought was “wow, she dressed as a Salem witch! How clever.” And I was impressed she would know about that bit of American history. Then she said she was the witch from Snow White and I remembered Lydia is stupid.
my guess for the heroine abuser is Janet’s gaping right nostril.
*heroin
Janet really is a cunt as is Pettifleur. I’m loving Gamble even though she does seem a little ditzy, she seems fun and harmless. Rick is adorable.
I figured out that Pettifleur thinks by making outrageous, shocking statements, she will appear intelligent. Raise your hand if you vomited when she wanted mirrors in her Bentley? I feel bad for label whores because they use them to mask insecurity. Nothing is sadder than someone ashamed of their ethnicity. And then she said she deserves the Bentley because she went to Australia with nothing and is now a huge success. No honey, the wonderful Life is your reward. If she “deserved” a $450,000 car for the reason that she’s such a success then she could afford it herself but she has to ask her live-in boyfriend (I’m American 😉 to buy it for her.
I love how Gina is the real deal as far as the intelligence Pettifleur dreams of and Gina sees right through her.
I heard that season 2 took so long to shoot because Pettifleur would only shoot on Tuesdays.
So did they all say, “bye Pettifleur, see you next Tuesday! “
That may explain why Pettifleur is only in a few groups scenes. So far it is all about Gamble this season.
I totally agree about Petti’s Bentley. I kept thinking ” if youre so damn successful then buy it yourself!!”
I was thinking the same thing about the car. If you’re so successful why aren’t buying that care yourself. The way she got her Chanel bag on camera was pretty lame as well. I think she believes the labels are the accoutrements of success, and by having them by that fact alone she’s successful. The more she has the more successful. That’s why crazy bitch want a crazy expensive car! I bet there’s gonna be a chapter on how crazy bitches get crazy spensive cars in her Bitch Book!
Anybody know how it’s doing in the overnight ratings here in the U.S. after two episodes? I tried searching a little bit but didn’t find anything. (I found the top 100 rated cable shows for Thursday, 3/5, but unless my eyes were blurry, it sadly wasn’t on that list.) Just wondering how it’s comparing to other Bravo programming. Sure wish Andy would have Gina on WWHL to help promote it!
Is Simon Van Kempen still claiming to have a “company” that keeps track of all of Bravo’s show ratings (since they were fired)?
I guess not. I found that site in my search, but his last post was in August of last year.
I found last night’s episode to be a bit boring. My other thoughts, Pettifleur thinks way too much of herself and is off putting and cuntish, Gamble seems sweet, I hope she stays that way, and not too bright but that doesn’t bother me as long as she remains nice (she and her partner seem very much in love), Lydia is still a dope but is also nicer this season, Jackie–still annoying, Chyka is becoming such a disappointment–Noooooooo!, Janet is the new Andrea-she is jealous and shallow and awful, Gina should have a show of her own she is such a cut above the other woman in all ways.
Pretty much this.
Jackie is a non-event this season. Chyka is a sly bitch. Jackie is the new Andrea. Gina is the same confrontational entertaining lady as she was last season. Lydia is dumb but a lot more pleasant than last season. Gamble is silly stupid. Pettifluer is kind of annoying. That is my take on this season.
Did you mean Janet is the new Andrea?
Lol Saying Pettifluer is kind of annoying is a bit like saying Hurricane Katrina was kind of a storm. Parts of that statement are right it’s just the scope I take issue with. Someone please tell me she’s humbled at some point during the season. Just once, I’m not asking for all that much. ;0)
If by humbled you mean inadvertently smacked in the face by a 2 by 4 then you are a horrible person with whom I agree mightily.
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 9:32 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yeah Janet is the new Andrea. Sorry hungover at the moment.
That Chick that claims she is part swiss, girl have u heard the saying u can fool some but you cant fool me. That woman aint got a bit of swiss in her unless it was a ham & swiss sandwich. I personally thought and see an ethnic woman either latin or black but no damn way she’s swiss. But on some level we all have at least 2 percent of Caucasian in us but I am going by what I see.
Haven’t you ever heard “You can’t judge a book by its cover?” No offense but you sound very “limited”.
Wait, we all have at least 2% Caucasian in us? How does that work exactly? Nevermind. I’m more wondering how you got through the hole in the fence with your textspeak and inability to spell out three letter words…
On Fri, Mar 13, 2015 at 10:06 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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“Sex Potties” lmao! TT you are hilarious! I swear these women are repulsive and I don’t know why I watch it. After saying that, I will probably watch every episode though. I am a HW junkie.
That is what they SAID! 🙂