Sorry for the delay. I was otherwise occupied last night and unavailable for recapping. I am currently about a 398 on a 1- 10 anger scale and not particularly in the mood to recap but since it appears this anger is not going anywhere and I’ve got to go forward and get some work done today. So here goes. Oh look the Gaybor has taken to patrolling our fence line where I am doing my spring planting. He is threatening a privacy fence. Oh no, please not a privacy fence! How would I live without the view of your lawn furniture and shanty houses! God this day is annoying as fuck.
Seems furious with Stassi and not as pissy with Kristen.
Jax says he has no idea of the status of things with Carmen. He last saw her last night.
Andy says there is no difference between Jax’s old nose and the new one. Andy asked if his nose caved in from coke.
There is discussion of Jax and Carmen’s breakup. Andy said that he offended Carmen when she came up to him at an event and said she was Jax’s girlfriend and he said, “Well, that’s a very long list.” Andy seems surprised that that would offend a young woman. Jax says he is not looking to settle down.
Andy asks about the girl he banged in the bathroom in the hotel room that Tiffany “paid for.” Jax denies it. Schwartz tries to pretend like he doesn’t know what happened. Sandoval says it happened. No one believes Jax.
Andy asks if Jax has had any sexual relations with John. He says absolutely not. Andy says, but you kissed him. He says it was a peck. Andy says it seemed like a lot more than that. He said that John said he STILL loves Jax. Andy says that Jax seems like the type that says a mouth is a mouth and a hole is a hole. Andy should know this about Jax. Allegedly.
Andy points out that at last year’s reunion, everyone hated Jax an Kristen for screwing around on Sandoval and Stassi, But this season, Jax is back in the fold like nothing happened and Kristen is still the piranha of the group. He asks Kristen how this makes her feel. Kristen thinks it is interesting how everyone is still friends with Jax who has fucked up everyone’s relationship. Andy asks Sandoval about why he is still friends with Jax. Sandoval says that Jax didn’t mean to hurt anyone when he fucked his girlfriend twice. Jax was just sort of insecure. WTF?
I feel the need to point out that Kristen looks terrible on the reunion. Her face doesn’t look like her face and I hate her dress. Did Sandoval style her?
Sandoval and James go at it a lot. I have a lot going on here at the moment unfortunately and I keep getting distracted. I’m not sure it really matters what they are bickering about. Swartz jumps in to say that James has a punchable face. Jax jumps in on James.
James says that Kristen has moved on, she is head over heels in love with him.
Andy asks if they are banging on the same mattress as Kristen and Tom. They seemed unprepared for the question.Ariana says she brought her own mattress when she moved in.
Ariana turns a blind eye to all the information about Sandoval. Ariana keeps making excuses for Tom. Whenever anyone points out his lies, she jumps in to point out things are not like they seem. It’s very odd.
Ugh Ariana’s crying scene is replayed. This girl gets so much airtime for bullshit.
It’s frustrating that Kristen is so hell bent on destroying his relationship. Sandoval seems very angry with James.
Andy keeps pointing out that Sandoval looks very suspicious this season. Like telling Jax not to rat him out. Andy asks what Tom was talking about and Ariana interrupts to deflect on Sandoval’s behalf.
Katie is glad she went to Miami for the bachelor/bachelorette party.
Scheana and Kristen argue about Stassi before she comes out.
Andy brings out Stassi. But not before Jax professes his ongoing undying devotion. Jax hints that maybe Stassi’s relationship is no longer.
Andy wants to know why Stassi went to such great pains to stay away from Jax. Why was that? She said he lies and manipulates the situation. And she is in a relationship with someone she loves and respects and she didn’t want to be around an ex out of respect for him.
Sandoval says that they all open up on camera and she shares nothing. He also says he has heard rumors that her new boyfriend has said he will break up with her immediately if she is in the same room with Jax. Jax says he sent her an email and she denied receiving it saying he is blocked. Sandoval asks if she called Jax asking for money. She says yes because he was punching holes in the walls? Um, when was this? Jax says that Stassi called him crying and he cut her a check. Stassi says that Jax doesn’t deserve anything from her. She’s being quite the cunt. I have a feeling her boyfriend will dump her if he has not already. Jax talks about all that Stassi is going through. Kristen wants to know how Jax knows what Stassi is going through right now. Jax stutters about her “chiming in.”
Stassi stopped being friend with Scheana because she was friends with Stassi and now the only person Stassi is friends with is Kristen. Everyone agrees that all that matters to Stassi is that the people she is around hate the same people she does.
Jax is still seething over Kristen pointing out that for someone who doesn’t have any communication with Stassi he sure knows a long about the trying times she is currently going through. Stassi and Scheana have gotten into it since Kristen pointed this out, and he is still seething. Suddenly, he randomly says he has never hated anyone more in his entire life. He is definitely feeling cornered by Stassi.
Everyone is going in on Stassi except Kristen and Jax. Katie tells Stassi she is the most selfish person she has ever met in her life.