Mike and Jessica
Well it seems they are wasting no time in dealing with the Mike situation. It seems like it will begin with GG’s allegations but these are just the tip of the rumor iceberg. It’s seems Mike’s reputation took a beating during this filming.
I am not even trying to be cute when I say I do not recognize this Jessica. Nothing about her is familiar to me, not her face, not her voice, not her new bitchy ‘tude with the cussing. None of it. Where is holy Jessica who is becoming Jewish to please her man and who is docile and obedient? Was all of last season a dream sequence?
Mike thinks that everyone in the group is obsessed with his penis. This is because Mike himself thinks his penis is the center of the universe.
Jessica completes her final step to becoming a Jew by baptizing herself in the ocean. How is this achieved by Jewish converts in the desert? Jessica was very emotional and Mike came out at the end running toward her with beautiful flowers. It was rather sweet, actually.
Reza, MJ and GG go to Asa’s place to help her eat some more of the food she made for the party and to participate in the requisite reality show recap discussion of last week’s episode. Synopsis: Mike was a drunken asshole. GG has planned a staycation for the group in Malibu and she doesn’t want Mike to come because he’s a douchebag. Reza thinks that Mike doesn’t want to get married. MJ who is sitting next to Reza jumps in to loudly agree. Asa who is sitting across from them quietly picks up an evil eye and slow swings it in their general direction. Suddenly GG say, ” Of course Mike doesn’t want to get married! He tries to fuck everyone he comes into contact with. He tried to fuck me in Turkey”!
Asa gets up to get shots. GG is visibly upset. They play a scene from Turkey where they are all sitting around in public drinking and GG and Mike are drunk and GG announces that Mike keeps playing with her thong.
GG says that Mike convinced her to come to his room and then he tried to get on top of her. She ran out of the room. Really? This is the complete story? This doesn’t seem like enough to cause EVERYONE to shun Mike for the entire season and thereafter, which is what I have heard.
Asa and MJ want GG to bring this up at the staycation so he can apologize. Seriously? This is not a topic for a drunken adult sleepover (let’s call it what it is, a staycation is taking your kids to Six Flags instead going to Orlando) and yet, on this show I suppose it is. It seems like every season one of the gang is the villain. And despite all the things I’ve heard about Mike, this just seems sort of wrong already.
The four of them agree to say nothing to Mike and GG will deal with Mike directly. That will never happen. Reza will break the trust first.
Asifa is going to shack up with GG temporarily. She is being very demanding to GG. So GG sets her down to set some rules. Asifa seems concerned about GG’s knife collection.
MJ has a client who is super hot. She seems like she is going to be faithful to Charlie. Is that a used female condom on his window sill? MJ and the client discuss his nudes that MJ swiped from his phone.
I hate her. I’m going to give her the Lily treatment.
When Mike and Jessica show up, Mike senses that the group is acting oddly around him. The Asifa and Bobby arrive and that whole drama takes over for awhile. I think both of these couple are going to drag the show down. I don’t want to watch Mike and Bobby have a pissing match all season.
Asifa and Jessica get into it and Asifa calls Jessica a hyena. Mike brings up his penis in the heat of conversation. Mike keeps begging Bobby for an apology. Because, douche.
Later everyone comes together for dinner. Oh Adam is there for dinner. I am not sure he was there before. Shervin, Mike’s doppelgänger is there, why? Reza leads a toast to Jessica becoming Jewish. Reza says a quick prayer.
Talk turns to Reza and Adam’s wedding and everyone has a role in the wedding except Mike. He seems a bit upset by that. Jessica has had enough of the group so she makes a work excuse and goes home. Jessica tells everyone not to let Mike get drunk and fight.
Next Week: Mike proposes. Asifa complains. Asa’s parents and all their cats move in. Adam and Reza go to dinner with Adam’s parents. Adam’s father seems to have an issue with Adam being gay.