By: Guest Blogger Lady Cocotte
Start your engines, fellow Drag Race fans. It’s that time again. And may the best woman win!
Let’s start at the end: the girls go back to the workroom after Tempest DuJour sashayed away. Everyone’s pretty shook up, not because they care about Tempest per se, but seeing someone leave really drives home the idea that no one is safe. Yes, you made it on the show but you have to fight to stay.
As the winner of last week’s Lip-sync For Your Life, Candy Ho cleans Tempest’s message off the mirror (Love yourself. Live your truth. You’re never too old to dream!). “Was it nerve racking doing the lip-sync?” they ask. “No, because I knew I was gonna beat her.” All the Queens laugh at Candy’s brashness and cluelessness. Luckily she was too busy cleaning to notice the shade.
Congratulations go to Violet Chachki for the win. “How did it feel?” And then comes Violet’s response, already famous from the pre-season promos: “I hate Michelle Visage.”
I hate Michelle Visage? I hate Michelle Visage?! Girl, you better keep that to yourself. No one messes with RuPaul’s best squirrel friend Michelle. Just ask Santino. The looks the other Queens give her are priceless. Max demonstrates eyes big as saucers. Violet complains about Michelle’s critique. The other Queens disagree. “Of course Michelle Visage is gonna judge you,” explained Ginger Minj. “It’s her job.” Sour grapes from the winner. Miss Fame still thinks she should have won. She’s not all wrong.
“You have to give face, face, face while the Pit Crew blows you…with a leaf blower.” Oh, Ru. You’re the Queen of double entendres. Basically, they have 15 minutes to get in hair and makeup and then the Pit Crew blows them in the face with leaf blowers. “The most unflappable Queens with most flappable faces win.” I guess you want to look good and silly at the same time?
Music superstar Moby is the guest judge. I think guest judging is his new career. Hopefully he’s nicer to the Queens than he was on King of the Nerds (he read those poor little nerds for filth). Moby must be a fan of Drag Race. He’s being sweet and charming from the get-go. You go, little man. Get your flirt on.
Oh, good, they give them goggles. And then we see lots of blown Queens. I don’t know who thought of this challenge but it’s fun. Jasmine Masters does her best Porsha Williams impression, flapping her lips all around. RuPaul calls out, “Gone with the weave!” Some Queens chose firm, shellacked hair (boring) while others really get into the movement. It’s amazing how big some of those mouths can get! The bigger girls get some great ripples going. Even Moby gets in on the blowing fun. As he states, “I think that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.” But you can tell he had fun.
The two winners are: Ginger Minj and Trixie Mattel! They made some good “O” faces.
Main Challenge (or, as RuPaul calls it, the Maxie-Challenge)
This week’s main challenge is Lip-sync-a-palooza. Or, more appropriately, Lypsinka-palooza (named after famous drag icon Lypsinka, one of the first to incorporate dialogue into her lip-sync performances). The Queens are asked to perform a mashup of spoken word and song in the safety pre-flight video for Glamazonian Airways, the first airline run completely by Drag Queens. Could you imagine flying with Drag Queens? The inflight entertainment would be great but you know those flights would always be late!
They break into two teams. Mini-challenge winners Ginger Minj and Trixie Mattel get to pick the teams and assign the roles. Ginger starts by picking Sasha Belle. Really? They alternate until they’re down to the last two: Violet Chachki and Candy Ho. Both girls are pissed to be last. Trixie takes Violet, leaving Candy for Ginger’s team. “What the hell, Candy steamed. “They’re, like, underestimating what I can do.” No dear, they’re underestimating what last week’s winner Violet Chachki can do. They all saw you on the bottom.
The final lineups are Ginger Minj, Jasmine Masters, Mrs. Kasha Davis, Jaidynn Diore Fierce, Kennedy Davenport and Candy Ho vs. Trixie Mattel, Pearl, Miss Lame (good thing Trixie isn’t a TT commenter or she’d be in trouble for giving Miss Fame a stupid nickname), Katya, Max and Violet Chachki. Interesting. It looks like Trixie got all the fashionistas while Ginger got all the bigger girls and/or Queens of color. When Ru asks Ginger about her choices she explains she wanted talent and diversity. “The other team, they look like Aryan Airlines.” Touché.
The groups start work on assigning roles. It seems I’m not the only one annoyed by Violet Chachki. Team Trixie is worried that Violet’s attitude will affect them all. Trixie is leading her team and isn’t having any of it from Violet. “Should we all just listen? Because when we’re talking we’re not…what? Listening.” It doesn’t work. Team Ginger is more harmonious but Sasha thinks her part is too small. Boo hoo. There are no small parts, just small actors.
They get to work with choreographer Jamal Sims. Katya has the most lines and is worried she won’t be able to memorize them all (foreshadowing?). Violet wants the seat belt pulled tightly around her waist. “I have the smallest waist in RuPaul’s Drag Race history. I want people to see it.” Miss Fame is new to performing and it shows. “I can dance at the club and get a husband but I’m not a choreographed dancer.” On team Ginger, Ginger Minj is the inexperienced dancer. But that doesn’t stop her from putting herself right up front. Jaidynn Diore Fierce is slipping all over the place. When she’s called out, she makes excuses while claiming she’s not trying to make any excuses. The choreographer gets frustrated.
In the workroom, the two teams check in with each other. Team Ginger goes pretty hard for Miss Fame and her lack of experience. “All I was trying to do was call it like I see it with Miss Fame,” Ginger explained. “I didn’t mean for everyone to jump in at once and start a turf war. It’s not West Side Story.” Ginger has the best talking heads. I truly hope T.Kyle takes advantage of that mouth and makes us some Ginger Minj GIFs. Team Trixie tries to change the conversation by looking at Miss Fame’s pictures from home. She gets pretty emotional about the murder of the grandfather who raised her. “I couldn’t comprehend that loss.” Really touching. Even Violet Chachki was empathetic and encouraging.
The guest judges are Jordin Sparks (a Drag Race superfan) and Olivia Newton John.
We start with Team Trixie, all decked out in pink flight attendant outfits. Katya has a lot of lines that she obviously didn’t memorize. It’s a disappointing way to start. The rest of the girls seem pretty lackluster. Miss Fame is stiff during her dance but they don’t show much of her. The editing seems weird on this performance. All of a sudden a few girls have guitars. It’s giving me flashbacks to the BH Housewives in the Lady Gaga video. Max is able to be quirky but still participate in a fairly pedestrian group number much better than her predecessor Milk (season 6). Michelle Visage is wearing a similar outfit as the Queens. She looks good in it.
Team Ginger has a better song to start with but they also bring more life to it. Jasmine Masters is doing her best Porsha Williams meets Exorcist drag. Jaidynn Diore Fierce gives the blowup doll pilot a blow job. Airplane reference or just standard drag show joke? Either way it’s funny. Sasha Belle tries to free her hair from of a ponytail but can’t and just ends up messing with it too much. There’s a great slap bit that starts to feel like a nod to the Three Stooges. Someone was writing for the straight boys. Mrs. Kasha Davis has a great jazz scat followed by a fart joke. Seriously, who at RPDR is writing for the straight boys? Team Ginger should definitely win.
Since the Queens were all dressed identically in the performances, they also do a runway presentation of Jet Set Eleganza. Trixie Mattel belongs on the Jetsons. Katya is wearing a weird flowered ensemble but she added a flowered flight attendant cap so I guess it counts. Max is old school Hollywood glamour, with fur and hat boxes. Pearl is in pale pink harem pants and a white jacket but the kerchief and sunglasses make it travel? Okurr. Violet Chachki in a skintight jumpsuit covered in french fries. She came with matching suitcase. Miss Fame in a brown hi-low dress with a kerchief. No Ma’am. That’s not Jet Set. Now Candy Ho, she could be on the Riviera with her short dress, oversized sun hat and beach bag. Mrs. Kasha Davis wore a white bandage dress and had a huge black throw over her arm. She exhausts me. Kennedy Davenport went space age with a tight fitting peplum suit and matching head piece. Sasha Belle is wearing a black and silver cocktail dress with LOTS of blond hair. She looks like the hair monster from Alaska Thunderfvck’s “This Is My Hair” performances from the current RPDR BOTS shows (totally worth checking out if you haven’t seen them). Jaidynn Diore Fierce looks like a Jetson’s flight attendant. Jasmine Masters in a short black suit channelling Porsha Williams (she has one look, apparantly). Ginger Minj in a sky blue Roman, draped dress. At least she looks rich.
Jordin Sparks loves Katya’s look but Michelle gets on her for flubbing her lines. Olivia Newton John loves Violet Chachki’s “Grease-y” outfit. Michelle Visage tells her, “I think you take yourself rather seriously but underneath there is this clown. So I’m waiting for her to come out.” Violet is pissed. Miss Fame has a bad outfit (so not Jet Set) and was stiff in performance. Michelle Visage tells Ginger Minj her team pretty much won but she doesn’t see the outfit as Jet Set. Sasha Belle played with her hair too much and her huge wig on the runway was overpowering. Mrs Kasha Davis’ performance was boffo good but her outfit was “wife of the town lawyer, he’s taking you out to dinner so you go to Caché and get a nice dress…”
Top Queens: Violet Chachki, Ginger Minj, Mrs Kasha Davis
Bottom Queens: Katya, Miss Fame, Sasha Belle
Ginger Minj is the winner. She deserved it.
LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE
The two Queens up for elimination are Katya and Sasha Belle. They perform Twist of Fate by Olivia Newton John.
I kind of like both of these girls. Not sure who to root for. They’re both fighting for it. Sasha Belle is going big. Katya did a death drop. Her performance is better but Sasha Belle is really trying to connect with the judges. Nope. This is Katya’s lip-sync.
Katya, shantay, you stay. Sasha Belle, sashay away.
Next week: #ShakesQueer. And don’t forget to watch Untucked, available every Tuesday. You can watch this week’s episode right here on TamaraTattles.com !