You would think after the infamous appearance that Sheree Whitfield made on Iyanla Vanzant’s Fix My Life Show where Iyanla gave up and declared that for the first time she had a guest that was unfixable (I’m not kidding go here if you missed it) and that everything in Sheree’s life including “Chateau Sheree” was incomplete, Sheree would stay off reality TV and stop embarrassing herself. But no. Two years later, her we go again.
We start with Sheree talking to production about her “search for love.” I am struck by how masculine she looks. She works out a lot and I wonder if she takes steroids. It reminds me of the time a drag queen died and someone accidently used Sheree’s photo on the TV Guide obituary. The poor people at TV Guide had to write a retraction but, it really was an honest mistake that anyone may have made. Sheree says she is not in a relationship because she is busy teaching “boot camps.” I’ve not heard a soul in Atlanta mention that including Sheree on her social media. That is what she should be doing but I seriously doubt she is.
Patti says that, “Sheree was married to Bob Whitfield and it ended really badly and I don’t think she ever recovered,” as if the relationship ended badly because of Bob. The relationship ended badly because despite Bob giving Sheree a seven-figure divorce settlement as she pined for on the first season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, she squandered all the money by insisting on appealing the generous settlement and attempting to take the case to the Georgia Supreme court. The attorneys’ fees and the cars she purchased ate up all the money resulting in the viewers of RHOA seeing Sheree and the kids living in an apartment with what appeared to be air mattresses ( or dog beds according to Sheree’s explanation) on the floor in the kid’s bedroom and disappearing TVs and gaming systems. Here are the real details on Sheree’s divorce. Perhaps Patti should have read about all that first.
Patti takes Sheree to a crystal shop to start trying to get the horrible vibes from Sheree in check right away. Sheree has a new bagel for her requisite bagel head hairstyle. I had a hard time not busting out laughing during all of our court cases when Sheree would wobble in on heels and the bagel would struggle mightily to remain atop her pointy little head.
Patti asks how old Sheree’s kids are and she says her youngest is 15 now. Patti points out that Sheree is going to be an empty nester soon. Yes, and if Sheree has anything to say about it she is going to be one in a huge house full of round rooms with no yard near a bus stop. I doubt that will even happen. But that seems to be Sheree’s goal. Patti says she has about five years before she is all alone. Sheree says, “two and a half! I’m already counting!” She’s counting alright because her little bit of child support she has left is going to be about none very soon.
Patti says that Sheree seems to have a lot of residual anger from her marriage to Bob. This is exactly what Iyanla told her. Bitter and angry. That is what Sheree exudes in person to everyone she comes in contact with. It takes no time at all to notice it. Patti has Sheree select a crystal to help her get rid of her bitterness and anger. There is an array of phallic crystals before her. She selects a short brown one. Sheree says she has not been in a relationship in seven years.
Patti says she has watched housewives and seen all of her fights with people. She rolls a clip of the “who gonna check me boo!” incident and point out that situations like this do not endear her to men. Sheree claims that she has tons of men approaching her. LOL. Patti says she is going to find Sheree a businessman.
Patti says that there could be two things happening with Sheree. Either she is a slow burn that takes a while to heat up to a man, or she is the problem. Well according to Iyanla, it is option B, there Patti. And be careful because when you tell Sheree that she gets very pissy with production and says she is being attacked. She will not hear that she is oozing anger and bitterness from every pore.
Sheree says her celebrity crushes are Matthew McConaughey and Kobe Bryant. She has been talking about Kobe for the past seven years. Patti is asking if Sheree is ready to let a man in. She asks if there is a vacancy at Chateau Sheree. Sheree says there is a vacancy at Chateau Sheree. Oh, it’s nothing but vacant. I have a feeling Sheree insisted they not discuss that the house remains incomplete two full years after the Iyanla taping and this is Patti sort of jabbing at that open wound.
At the prescreening meeting for Sheree’s date the group laughs about her needing a plumber to get “her pipes” working again. Patti again points out that Sheree is off-putting and not welcoming. She says she needs a welcome mat. Patti says they need a man with money. Somebody needs to bail out that Chateau. Patti is not going to find a match for Sheree even if she does find the right type for her because Patti’s men are always LA based. I don’t like this new pair of assistants Patti has. What happened to the old ones?
Time for the mixer. Patti has given the two looking for love minimal choices. It is a speed dating set up. I was wondering what job title they would give Sheree. Apparently, she is a “fitness instructor.” Huh.
As soon as Sheree goes to the first guy, a cute architect, Pattie informs us that Sheree is cold and closed off. The guy who is a tennis pro is really good at chatting with the ladies. LOL. She asks him about his five-year plan and he says he is working with some relatives who have property and he plans to have “something built on it” by then. These two seem like a perfect match with their decades long building endeavors. She asks how old he is. He says he is 42 and asks how old she is and she gets all pissy and offended. Sheree is interrogating the guys. The guy gets along great with all the ladies. If I were speed dating him I’d make him take his Ray Bans off.I get they are on a boat, but the ladies don’t have glasses on. The last guy, Terry is a TV producer so Sheree will pick him because she is dying to be back on TV. Sheree has changed her “five-year plan” with each guy.
Patti definitely knows about the situation with Chateau Sheree. In her talking heads she keeps taking pot shots about it subtlety. She keep talking about Sheree needing to get heated up for a man. She says during speed dating the crock pot was not even at a simmer, in fact, she is not even able to turn the electricity on in the house. You can’t tell me that is coincidental. Cleary, Sheree was a bitch on the show behind the scenes. Again. And Patti is airing it all out.
Patti asks Sheree to choose her date and she can’t make a decision. Patti is highly irritated. Clearly, the penis crystal didn’t work. Patti stops everything and brings in a psychic to try to read her energy (news flash, it’s dark and ugly) and get her aura cleansed or something. He tells her marriage is in her future. That is not what the witch doctor told her in Africa. He said she would never be with “a man” again. Which leads us back to the question, did Patti fish in the right pong for Sheree’s date?
Eventually, Sheree goes on a date with Terry, the TV producer. He buys her flowers and takes her to a painting studio. Oh this will not please her and he has a nice red wine that she will hate. Sheree asks about his last relationship. He does seem like he is still seeing her. Later, Terry takes her out to dinner. Their table seems to be in a parking lot. Sheree asks if he is still sleeping with his ex. This time I believe him when he says they haven’t spoken in six months. Terry seems put off by her questioning his honesty. He asks her if she is an honest person. I think he picked up on the fact that she expects him to be lying and that may be because she is a liar. I don’t think he will be interested in a second date. However, he did kiss her, so… you never know.
Patti calls Terry. Terry says that they had good conversation and after some pushing he says he will call her. Patti continues with the “no vacancies in Sheree’s house” analogies. She tells her that she was not supposed to discuss his ex and that she didn’t let him know if she was interested. She tells Sheree to go on one more date with Terry. I doubt she will because that will not be on camera.
In case you are interested the Tennis guy had a fabulous date with his choice. They really seemed to like each other.
In the follow-up comments, as I predicted, Sheree and Terry never spoke again. Sheree is still looking for love.