It’s time for Real Housewives of Atlanta and frankly, I’m not sure what the storyline we are supposed to be looking forward to is. More Kandi and Todd marital disharmony? More Mr. Chocolate innuendo? I’m bored and it hasn’t even started yet. Meanwhile, I’m on injured reserve from three hours of really hard digging in the yard. So bear with me as usual with the homophones and typos. I’m about to fall over.
It’s time for Cynthia to download Peter on what went down at the Mr. Chocolate dinner last week. Meanwhile Porsha and Phaedra are at The Palm loading up on free food to go. I think the scene with Porsha and Phaedra was another “pick-up” as most of Phaedra’s scenes are this season. It was filmed in mid to late November. It is hysterical they are sitting there in some kind of boob revealing formal wear in an empty restaurant in an off hour when most people will show up in business casual. Did Phaedra did say about Kenya, ” She can’t help but bark?” I love how both whores (allegedly) are going in on Kenya who was not even the messenger in this instance. Cynthia pointed out Phaedra’s whorish ways and Claudia outed Porsha participating in the world’s oldest profession, yet both of them have hard on for Kenya. Interesting. Phaedra refers to Cynthia and Kenya as “ace boon coons” which apparently Bravo has recently decided can’t be said on the air without bleeping. Oh and they actually aired Porsha and Phaedra ordering two entrees each. I’m told it didn’t stop their these two loaded up their purses like Mama June at a Golden Corral. Porsha and Phaedra talk about Ebola and Africans. Porsha starts trash talking Kandi to try to make ground with Phaedra.
Porsha and Phaedra start trash talking Cynthia and her marriage and whatever else the producers told them to do while they were there for hours on end. Phaedra had the never to imply that Cynthia and Peter has a lot of law suits. Um, they don’t have law suits but she is the one being countersued for causing Angela Stanton to suffer loss of income by her frivolous lawsuit she has been dragging out for years. SideNote: Right now, we are still waiting for the judge to rule on Stanton’s motion to have the judge impose sanctions on Phaedra. Phaedra says that Cynthia is vindictive and backstabbing and she owes her an apology for saying things she knows not to be true. Um, please. How does she know that.
Todd and Kandi go to marriage therapy. The therapist says that they never seemed to have a honeymoon. She says that Todd seems very depressed. Todd says that the problems began with how Kandi handled the prenup. Kandi said things like “If you don’t sign it, this is going to be an expensive party.” Todd says he understands that during a time of conflict his wife is going to be all about Kandi. Kandi in her talking head says that Todd made the whole session a “What’s wrong with Kandifest.” Um, no, in therapy you discuss the problems in the marriage and the problems are usually discussed as something the other party is doing that makes you unhappy. The problem in this marriage is that Kandi doesn’t want to hear anything that she may be doing that is causing Todd unhappiness. Which is why Todd has said he realizes the situation he is in now and has adjusted his outlook accordingly. Which basically is all he can do unless he is ready to bail.
Kandi can’t figure out why they are not having sex. Perhaps it is because Kandi emasculates him at every turn.
Cynthia and Peter’s Awards Show
Everyone goes to Peter’s event which is some sort of music awards. I do not understand Cynthia’s wig. I don’t know why people buy wigs that look like they are six months late to get their roots touched up. Why copy a look of neglected hair rather than fresh from the salon hair. It makes no sense to me. And do not tell me that is ombre because it is most certainly not.
Team pretty chats with Kandi at the event. Kenya asks if part of her awkwardness was because Kandi knew that Phaedra was having an affair. Kandi tells Kenya no, but in her talking head she acts like she was not going to disclose Phaedra’s business. Kandi does not want to take sides. She especially doesn’t want to give Team Pretty any ammo on Phaedra. Once inside Kenya says to Cynthia that one thing they learned tonight is that Kandi knew about the affair.
Once again I forgot all about her. And once again no one is filming with her. Nene off to see a counselor. Oh this is some producer driven bullshit. Ridiculous.
Phaedra and Cynthia meet to discuss the whole Mr. Chocolate thing. Phaedra looks like ten pounds of sausage in a five pound sausage casing. Phaedra has a clear attitude. Cynthia said she had no malicious intent about bringing up her affair. Phaedra starts whining and says that Cynthia didn’t fact check. Cynthia, who has grown a sturdy backbone this season tells Phaedra she never fact checks anything and brings up her saying the Kenya offered to give Apollo fellatio as an example. Point Cynthia. Cynthia says in this group we don’t fact check. Phaedra walks out. If you can’t stand the heat… Aldo, Phaedra is threatening to kick Cynthia’s ass. in the car. Did the good Christian women forget she had a mike on and we could hear all that cussing?
Mama Joyce catches up with Kandi at Tags. I don’t live far from there at all and have still never made it in. I am in that shopping village from time to time and never think to stop by. It’s a good place to work online while drinking beer though. 🙂 Mama Joyce says that the old house that Kandi gave her looks so good she likes it better than the new one she bought her now. Because, cunt. If Kandi were smart she would put her Mama back in the old one which is a lot further from where she lives with Todd. But she’s not smart when it comes to relationships. Mama Joyce says that Kandi has changed since she got married. She doesn’t come around the family. She says that Kandi is critical. Um, that is Mama Joyce that is critical. Kandi cries and says Mama Joyce does not ever own up to her actions. Mama Joyce actually gives Kandi a key to her house.
Everyone except Kenya and Phaedra is invited to meet Nene for Mexican food. Cynthia has on way too much makeup. I can’t stand to hear Nene talk about going to CANCELLING. Nene manages to argue with everyone at the table. Except Porsha. I forgot she was there. Kandi doesn’t want to come. She says she is good with everyone. Nene and Porsha basically make Kandi question her friendship with Phaedra.
Next Week: Nene has a new wig you must see to believe. And Nene storms out of therapy because things don’t go her way. Shocker.