Let’s see if the is episode of Catfish is any less predictable than last week’s Catfish that started with Nev and Charlamagne stressing over and over that the dude was a dude letting us all know in the first five minutes that the dude was definitely NOT a dude.
In an interesting twist this week, Courtney wants help getting rid of a guy who is obsessed with her online. That’s a new one. Since Max is still filming his movie, Cassidy Wolf, a former Miss Teen USA who had a creepy stalker online who is now in prison for spying on her.
This weeks letter comes not from Courtney but from casting who says that they received an application from Courtney who said that she wants to get to the bottom of a situation with a guy named Isaak who is sort of stalking her online. They called her up to validate and she had no idea how they got her information and no idea about the story. She never applied to be on Catfish and thinks that the only person who would have sent in the information would be Isaak himself.
Nev and Cassidy Skype with Courtney who is a girl from small town Georgia who met the guy on a dating site. He was a self-proclaimed asexual looking for a relationship. She decides to continue talking to him. His photos are very attractive, and by very attractive, I mean they are clearly someone’s headshots and modeling pictures and the person in the photo is not asexual. Then he sent her a text with a photo of himself and the picture was of a different guy. She cut him off and stopped talking to him. And then this happened. This whole story seems like bullshit. Every time they retell the story, which they have redone three times now, they stress how much this guy does not want sex. Does he have AIDS? Erectile Dysfunction? Lost his dick in a combine accident?
So they track the guy down on a site for asexual people. Seriously? Why do asexual people need a site for asexuality? Why not just go to gardening sites or football sites or Japanese anime sites or whatever interests you? Why go to a site about something you have no interest in? I don’t need a website for people who don’t like sushi. I just don’t go to sushi bars (unless the guy is really hot and there is a possible pay off drinking Japanese beer and eating a California roll). But, you get the point. Anyway he leaves his real email on the Catfish and they track him down at Georgia State University (GSU) where they find a story about him being on Judge Mathis suing a girl who did not pay him for foot massages.
Okay, I paused way too long looking for the foot fetish episode of Judge Mathis. But there are plenty of GSU people talking about how this guy is the real deal and is wandering around offering free foot massages to random girls on campus. Oh Lord. I am sure he has moved on now. Nev finds some of the same people who I saw posting online.
Oh look, Isaak wants to be a school administrator. He’d be perfect. It seems from other things on the net he might have become a massage therapist instead. Some chick that used to work with him says he was kind of creepy and showed up at her work looking for her. The good news, if there is any, is that this show is not scripted.
Why is this chick willing to meet the creeper. Why doesn’t Nev just meet him himself? Nev calls the guy. He points out that his method is a bit on the creepy side. Isaak gives a response that reminds me of Brandi Glanville when he says, “It’s not like I hired a private detective and drove by her house!” It so reminds me of Brandi when called on her behavior over the years. She typically responds with something like, ” Get over it! It’s not like I murdered somebody!”
Nev, the teen beauty queen and Courtney go to meet the creepy guy with a foot fetish “down by the pond” in rural Georgia. Because that is not like something out of a teen horror flick. Oh wait. DON’T GO NEAR THE POND, COURTNEY! Courtney is clearly scared to death. Isaak shakes Nev’s hand with his left hand. Isaak gives a nervous spiel about himself. He is now a massage therapist. He has his table in the car right now! You know, in case anyone wants a foot rub.
As Nev talks to Courtney and Cassidy privately for a minute, Isaak chats with the crew. He is disappointed he did not get to meet Max. He says he supposes he will get to do that on the reunion show. I guess this explains why I don’t have a Chatfish on my DVR this week. I assume they opted not to revisit these two.
Courtney tells the creepy catfish that she is not interested and suggests he try a little honesty. He apologizes and says she is missing out on some great massages. Ugh. Courtney is sweet and seems to feel sorry of Isaak. In the car the Teen Beauty Queen has a breakdown. Just another reminder that men are creepy and not to be trusted. We get it, beauty queen. We get it.
Nev wants to do a follow-up with Isaak. Cassidy and Nev explain to Isaak that other people think he is kind of creepy. Isaak claims that he had no idea that people had sex for purposes other than procreation until he was almost twenty. Isaak says all of the reassuring things to Nev and Cassidy. They seem to believe him. I don’t. #BOLO ladies. #BOLO.