Brandi’s Blog is up and I am going to run out of purple ink this week. Seriously. Brandi’s loons apparently have her convinced that her behavior is perfectly normal. It’s insane. She will be fine as long as she just reads the one or two sites that write blog posts as if she and Kim are not two embarrassing addicts on a show with comparatively very normal successful people.
Jaws drop in stunned horror if I reply, ”I’ll knock your teeth out” (empty words thrown out when under verbal attack on RHOBH). Admittedly, not my greatest moment, but you try putting up with some of the “ladies” of Beverly Hills (or wherever they pretend to live). I will sincerely work on other ways to get crazy people yelling in my face to back up. Anyway, it’s called hyperbole, Kyle. Yeah, smart people know what that is. Kyle, look it up.
This is an example of hyperbole, Brandi. “Well now, one winter it was so cold that all the geese flew backward and all the fish moved south and even the snow turned blue. Late at night, it got so frigid that all spoken words froze solid afore they could be heard. People had to wait until sunup to find out what folks were talking about the night before.” (Paul Bunyon) See, smart people know that hyperbole is exaggerating a story to draw in an audience.”
This is an example of a threat of bodily harm. “I’ll knock your teeth out.” In California, criminal threats can be charged whether or not you actually intend to execute the threat as a misdemeanor or a felony. Making threats to injure someone is not “hyperbole” if you later say you were just kidding.
I mean real violence. Digging your fingers into someone’s arm to forcibly push them out of your way or grabbing for someone’s throat in anger isn’t worthy of being condemned by the same group. No mention at all.
You are really a bigger victim than my elementary school kids. Seriously. Kyle grabbed your arm and her bracelet left a scratch and you are still whining about it months later? Do you take codeine for a hangnail?
As a matter of fact, after they regrouped and arranged their group spin, it was Kim’s and my fault that Rinna is a crazy, violent person who throws dangerous broken glass in people’s faces.
No one threw any glass at anyone. Someone did get angry and break a glass on the edge of a table. For that to go anywhere near your faces one or the other of you would have to have your face at crotch level. While I don’t doubt that happens with you two, it was not happening at the dinner table.
You women are over half a century old. Own your behavior.
Kyle is four years older than you. I think you are confusing age with maturity. The age difference isn’t unusual but the maturity level between you and Kim and everyone else is astronomical.
Tossing an inch of wine: HORRIFIC
Tossing an inch of wine while “play acting soap opera” was worthy of pearl clutching and disgust usually reserved for when people find a mass grave.
See, we’re back to that maturity thing again. No one was “play acting soap opera” with you. Two grown women were trying to get to know you. You were anxious because they are famous and you made an ass out of yourself. This is when it is appropriate to own YOUR behavior and apologize.
It’s called joking, horseplay, goofing, messing around. My intent was mischief. I was playing. It was misunderstood, but it’s not in the same league as violence.
So you agree throwing water on someone is not violence. Excellent. I feel we are making progress.
Heaving broken glass at people’s faces: ACCEPTABLE
Reaching across a table to rip someone’s throat out with your nails,
No one touched anyone’s throat. Although, I would have enjoyed it if they had.
hurling a full drink with ice cubes in a face, and the best of all,
You seem obsessed by the amount of liquid in a glass. Sadly, the water didn’t hit anyone’s face.
purposefully smashing a large wine glass as hard as you can in the direction of my and Kim’s face wasn’t discussed at all.
You seem to be confused about where your face was. Let me help you recall. You and Kim were standing at this point and had backed away from the table. This places your faces well about five feet in the air and several feet away from where the glass was broken. The glass was broken in the direction of the floor, not up five feet I the air.
Yep. It never happened. I didn’t dig glass out of my skin, out of my ear, spend hours in the shower trying to get shards out of my hair cutting my fingers, oh, and picking it out of my clothes, so it didn’t get in my children’s laundry later on.
Your children were half a world away in their stable home with two adults you make look sane and mature. I notice you are talking about you boys in your blogs lately trying to explain what fun and exciting weekends you are having with them. You sound like a Disney Dad.
I suppose that whole spending hours in the shower is hyperbole. How did glass get in your skin and your ear if you were across the table with your weave down wearing jeans and a long sleeve sweater with your head turned? Why would you be doing the boys laundry in Amsterdam? How is the glass going to end up in the valley a week later?
Notice they skate over it entirely, except to somehow shake their heads and blame Kim and me. Back at the hotel, Dr. Rinna declares us “unhappy,” instead of herself. That’s why she lost her mind when Kim hinted at her home life. Yep. Sure. Ok.
You’re right. You and Kim seem super happy. Both of you exploded more than once in this episode alone followed by sulking and whining about being injured and putting everyone else down. Again. Everyone else was trying their best to ignore you two and enjoy the free vacation.
Adult humor at a Yo’s Dinner Party by me: HORRIFIC
Get over it. I know Babyface, and he sang my joke. Ha!
Adult humor is not insulting a man’s choice of engagement ring to his fiancée’s face or sitting on the hostess’ husband’s lap or being rude, crude and socially unacceptable is not “humor.” You will know if it is humor because people will be laughing with you, not at you.
Brawling at a Yo Dinner Party: ACCEPTABLE
I don’t think you know what “brawling” means. Look it up.
Let’s savor a few moments of the drama you guys like:
Kim was a cold-steel assassin. She walked in like Eastwood, armed, silent, detached, and took her seat. Then she waited. Rinna could have talked about ANYTHING in the world, but as we all know, she has nothing else to talk about. So, Kim waited. It took about five minutes. Rinna turned her gaze on Kim and started her Dr. Rinna addiction sermon for the 100th time and BAM.
“WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A PIECE OF BREAD?”
Glass houses, folks. That’s all I’m saying. Glass houses.
Note Kim didn’t expose any of Rinna’s secrets. Kim only lets it be known that she COULD. All I’m saying is that if I had nothing to hide, I wouldn’t be trying to claw out someone’s throat, knocking chairs over, and breaking glasses at Yolanda’s dinner parties. Would you?
Such delusion. You realize that Bravo put a clip of the incident right under this and there was no throat clawing or chairs flying or physical injuries of any kind, right?
Other things you may have noticed tonight:
Eileen bent out of shape that Rinna made a peace pact with Kim. Looks like someone broke ranks to cover her ass. So, where would that leave superior Eileen if she couldn’t talk about Kim or me? Talking down to her husband? Picking a tomato? *yawn*
What behavior did Eileen exhibit that made you think she was bent out of shape? Was it when she hugged Lisa after she came down with Kim? Or how they hung out together the whole trip? I see you noticed Eileen’s husband at the poker party and made rude comments about wanting to be with him. That whole tomato picking scene where they laugh and joke and bicker seems to have made you jealous. I get it. I was a little jealous myself. They seem to have a fun marriage.
Kyle’s narcissism should be addressec, (sic)but I don’t have enough time.
What’s keeping you? Hot date? Gonna play hairdo with your gay fake roommate who pretends to live there to be on TV? Go twitter idiots to hang out with? Studying for you GED? What does take all of your time?
It’s a topic worthy of its own thesis. Me, my, and I are Kyle’s favorite three words, but let’s focus on tonight only. Special shout-out for not only failing to verbally defend your own sister but for not physically shielding your sister from physical, flying glass or even waiting to see if she had been hurt. 100% self-preservation in action, folks. Special mention for crying about how Rinna’s crying affected you more than Rinna. Kyle, you might be a narcissist if EVERYTHING that happens to everyone else is about you.
No one was hurt you fucknut. It was not physical situation. It was a very loud argument with a broken glass. Kim was acting like a jackass. That is not Kyle’s mess to clean up. She’s all yours.
Lisa R. lying to everyone that “she has been very open,” and that she never talked to everyone about Kim behind Kim’s back was comedy gold. Comedy gold.
This whole thing with you and Kim where you don’t think anyone can ever discuss you or your behavior when you are not in the room is ridiculous. If you are a twat, people are going to talk about what a twat you are.