Brandi’s Blog is up and I am going to run out of purple ink this week. Seriously. Brandi’s loons apparently have her convinced that her behavior is perfectly normal. It’s insane. She will be fine as long as she just reads the one or two sites that write blog posts as if she and Kim are not two embarrassing addicts on a show with comparatively very normal successful people.
Hyperbole: HORRIFIC
Jaws drop in stunned horror if I reply, ”I’ll knock your teeth out” (empty words thrown out when under verbal attack on RHOBH). Admittedly, not my greatest moment, but you try putting up with some of the “ladies” of Beverly Hills (or wherever they pretend to live). I will sincerely work on other ways to get crazy people yelling in my face to back up. Anyway, it’s called hyperbole, Kyle. Yeah, smart people know what that is. Kyle, look it up.
This is an example of hyperbole, Brandi. “Well now, one winter it was so cold that all the geese flew backward and all the fish moved south and even the snow turned blue. Late at night, it got so frigid that all spoken words froze solid afore they could be heard. People had to wait until sunup to find out what folks were talking about the night before.” (Paul Bunyon) See, smart people know that hyperbole is exaggerating a story to draw in an audience.”
This is an example of a threat of bodily harm. “I’ll knock your teeth out.” In California, criminal threats can be charged whether or not you actually intend to execute the threat as a misdemeanor or a felony. Making threats to injure someone is not “hyperbole” if you later say you were just kidding.
As for the ladies pretending to live somewhere, everyone except for you (and possibly Kim) lives in Beverly Hills or Malibu. You live in the valley in a rental. 
Violence: ACCEPTABLE
I mean real violence. Digging your fingers into someone’s arm to forcibly push them out of your way or grabbing for someone’s throat in anger isn’t worthy of being condemned by the same group. No mention at all.
You are really a bigger victim than my elementary school kids. Seriously. Kyle grabbed your arm and her bracelet left a scratch and you are still whining about it months later? Do you take codeine for a hangnail?
As a matter of fact, after they regrouped and arranged their group spin, it was Kim’s and my fault that Rinna is a crazy, violent person who throws dangerous broken glass in people’s faces.
No one threw any glass at anyone. Someone did get angry and break a glass on the edge of a table. For that to go anywhere near your faces one or the other of you would have to have your face at crotch level. While I don’t doubt that happens with you two, it was not happening at the dinner table.
You women are over half a century old. Own your behavior.
Kyle is four years older than you. I think you are confusing age with maturity. The age difference isn’t unusual but the maturity level between you and Kim and everyone else is astronomical.
Tossing an inch of wine: HORRIFIC
Tossing an inch of wine while “play acting soap opera” was worthy of pearl clutching and disgust usually reserved for when people find a mass grave.
See, we’re back to that maturity thing again. No one was “play acting soap opera” with you. Two grown women were trying to get to know you. You were anxious because they are famous and you made an ass out of yourself. This is when it is appropriate to own YOUR behavior and apologize.
It’s called joking, horseplay, goofing, messing around. My intent was mischief. I was playing. It was misunderstood, but it’s not in the same league as violence.
So you agree throwing water on someone is not violence. Excellent. I feel we are making progress.
Heaving broken glass at people’s faces: ACCEPTABLE
Reaching across a table to rip someone’s throat out with your nails,
No one touched anyone’s throat. Although, I would have enjoyed it if they had.
hurling a full drink with ice cubes in a face, and the best of all,
You seem obsessed by the amount of liquid in a glass. Sadly, the water didn’t hit anyone’s face.
purposefully smashing a large wine glass as hard as you can in the direction of my and Kim’s face wasn’t discussed at all.
You seem to be confused about where your face was. Let me help you recall. You and Kim were standing at this point and had backed away from the table. This places your faces well about five feet in the air and several feet away from where the glass was broken. The glass was broken in the direction of the floor, not up five feet I the air.
Yep. It never happened. I didn’t dig glass out of my skin, out of my ear, spend hours in the shower trying to get shards out of my hair cutting my fingers, oh, and picking it out of my clothes, so it didn’t get in my children’s laundry later on.
Your children were half a world away in their stable home with two adults you make look sane and mature. I notice you are talking about you boys in your blogs lately trying to explain what fun and exciting weekends you are having with them. You sound like a Disney Dad.
I suppose that whole spending hours in the shower is hyperbole. How did glass get in your skin and your ear if you were across the table with your weave down wearing jeans and a long sleeve sweater with your head turned? Why would you be doing the boys laundry in Amsterdam? How is the glass going to end up in the valley a week later?
Notice they skate over it entirely, except to somehow shake their heads and blame Kim and me. Back at the hotel, Dr. Rinna declares us “unhappy,” instead of herself. That’s why she lost her mind when Kim hinted at her home life. Yep. Sure. Ok.
You’re right. You and Kim seem super happy. Both of you exploded more than once in this episode alone followed by sulking and whining about being injured and putting everyone else down. Again. Everyone else was trying their best to ignore you two and enjoy the free vacation.
Adult humor at a Yo’s Dinner Party by me: HORRIFIC
Get over it. I know Babyface, and he sang my joke. Ha!
Adult humor is not insulting a man’s choice of engagement ring to his fiancée’s face or sitting on the hostess’ husband’s lap or being rude, crude and socially unacceptable is not “humor.” You will know if it is humor because people will be laughing with you, not at you.
Brawling at a Yo Dinner Party: ACCEPTABLE
I don’t think you know what “brawling” means. Look it up.
Let’s savor a few moments of the drama you guys like:
Kim was a cold-steel assassin. She walked in like Eastwood, armed, silent, detached, and took her seat. Then she waited. Rinna could have talked about ANYTHING in the world, but as we all know, she has nothing else to talk about. So, Kim waited. It took about five minutes. Rinna turned her gaze on Kim and started her Dr. Rinna addiction sermon for the 100th time and BAM.
“WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A PIECE OF BREAD?”
Glass houses, folks. That’s all I’m saying. Glass houses.
HUH?
Note Kim didn’t expose any of Rinna’s secrets. Kim only lets it be known that she COULD. All I’m saying is that if I had nothing to hide, I wouldn’t be trying to claw out someone’s throat, knocking chairs over, and breaking glasses at Yolanda’s dinner parties. Would you?
Such delusion. You realize that Bravo put a clip of the incident right under this and there was no throat clawing or chairs flying or physical injuries of any kind, right?
Other things you may have noticed tonight:
Eileen bent out of shape that Rinna made a peace pact with Kim. Looks like someone broke ranks to cover her ass. So, where would that leave superior Eileen if she couldn’t talk about Kim or me? Talking down to her husband? Picking a tomato? *yawn*
What behavior did Eileen exhibit that made you think she was bent out of shape? Was it when she hugged Lisa after she came down with Kim? Or how they hung out together the whole trip? I see you noticed Eileen’s husband at the poker party and made rude comments about wanting to be with him. That whole tomato picking scene where they laugh and joke and bicker seems to have made you jealous. I get it. I was a little jealous myself. They seem to have a fun marriage.
Kyle’s narcissism should be addressec, (sic)but I don’t have enough time.
What’s keeping you? Hot date? Gonna play hairdo with your gay fake roommate who pretends to live there to be on TV? Go twitter idiots to hang out with? Studying for you GED? What does take all of your time?
It’s a topic worthy of its own thesis. Me, my, and I are Kyle’s favorite three words, but let’s focus on tonight only. Special shout-out for not only failing to verbally defend your own sister but for not physically shielding your sister from physical, flying glass or even waiting to see if she had been hurt. 100% self-preservation in action, folks. Special mention for crying about how Rinna’s crying affected you more than Rinna. Kyle, you might be a narcissist if EVERYTHING that happens to everyone else is about you.
No one was hurt you fucknut. It was not physical situation. It was a very loud argument with a broken glass. Kim was acting like a jackass. That is not Kyle’s mess to clean up. She’s all yours.
Lisa R. lying to everyone that “she has been very open,” and that she never talked to everyone about Kim behind Kim’s back was comedy gold. Comedy gold.
This whole thing with you and Kim where you don’t think anyone can ever discuss you or your behavior when you are not in the room is ridiculous. If you are a twat, people are going to talk about what a twat you are.
Thanks TT! The top pic says it all! I hope you get a shipment of purple ink before Kim’s blog goes up.
Wow! Excellent commentary TT! The delusion here is terrifying.
Exactly. She needs to hire new ghost writer because the current one is starting to loose his/her sh#t. Somebody calls dr Phil!!! The delusion is real.
I will never understand attacking someone’s age. It’s like spitting in the wind and she’ll be there before she knows it.
Her ghostwriter should know better.
She surely looks like she is there already!
Insecure people will use anything to attack another person when she feels inferior. This is Brandi we are talking about, and she thinks she’s still 18 years old for some reason. She fails to realize that she is only a few years younger than these women. And she’s over 40. Sadly, all women over 35 get lumped in the same category in show businesses.
Her ghostwriter is absolutely the worst. At least Teresa Guidice’s ghostwriter tried to come off like she thought Teresa would. Brandi’s ghostwriter is not good at what she does which is why I think it is one of her friends, because they are all idiots. Brandi is worried about glass getting in her d88k, or her a$$hole’s clothing. I’d worry about the bodily fluids you bring home on your clothes, if I were you. Go make out with Carlton some more. Or Leeza.
Kyle looks younger and fresher than Brandi so she really shouldn’t go there!!
One can tell by all the plastic surgery she’s had that she’s self-conscious and miserable about growing older so she believes mocking the other women’s age is going in for the kill…twat.
Did you notice how proud she was that she can use the word hyperbole in a sentence? She probably learned the word from her eldest son’s spelling homework.
Eh, misread blog-TT used the word hyperbole-oh well, it’s 9:10 on a Sat morning…stayed up late watching, “Whiplash”—- excellent movie, btw.
Lol. She is having a temper tantrum. This is funny. She is so out of touch with reality!
And where would Brandi be if she couldn’t talk about these women? Watching Eddie and Leann’s show and whining about child support every scene.
This is the work of the same inept ghost writer, right?
Did Nene write this? It makes no sense and is full of lies.
LOL!!!
Miss Webb, I think you found the answer. TT should reward you with some tokens
The “glass” Brandi was digging out of her skin was actually the bugs druggies feel crawling out of their skin when they need a hit.
Also, I said it before and I’ll say it again. If anyone tosses liquid on my wig even if they claim it was playful, I’ll consider it an act of violence and come at you.
TT, I was hoping you would recap Brandi’s blog. Thanks for the laughter, you are on point as usual!
Oh and TT, after reading the long, perfect description of “this is an example of hyperbole” and then when you wrote “This is an example of a threat of bodily harm” I freaking lost it!!
You likening Brandi to a “Disney Dad” was so on point.
Now she threw the wine at Eileen playacting. However, she told Kathy in the limo that she “accidentally threw wine at her”. Which is it you lying liar?
She’s a liar face 🙂
LYING LIAR FROM HER LYING LIE HOLE!!!
Eh, misread blog-TT used the word hyperbole-oh well, it’s 9:10 on a Sat morning…stayed up late watching, “Whiplash”—- excellent movie, btw.
Oh, Brandi. Sad, insecure Brandi. She blamed Lisa when she outed Adrienne’s surrogacy, calling herself a puppet. Then proceeds to employ similar tactics with the Richards sisters, who were just as malleable, and cannot understand how it all went so very wrong for her. Someone buy her a dictionary and a copy of The Prince.
I loved that book –
Is there a coloring book version of The Prince she could read?
This just cracked me up. Can you imagine?
“The Prince” is for amateurs so it’s a good choice for Brandi. BTW I’m sure LVP’s fav book of the moment is “The art of war” by Sun Tzu. LOL.
I love it when you put your teacher hat on and break down the blogs with your comments. It’s like Brandi/KH learned a new word (hyperbole! It’s a big word! I sound so intelligent) and she stuck it in her blog as many times as she could, nevermind the fact that she used it incorrectly.
Maybe her ghost writer has one of those Word of the Day calendars. She’s certainly not getting intellectual inspiration from Brandi’s actions.
Her ghostwriter is deluded, but she is more literate Brandi is writing the Bravo version and the ghostwriter is writing at the pro Brandi site. That series of stories had diminished any credibility that site built up.
On Thu, Mar 5, 2015 at 7:36 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
GOBBLEDY GOOK Deleted. WTF was that?
I think there’s some salient points in here, but please try breaking up the graphs a bit for easier reading. I am an old hag with eye strain. 🙂
Huh??? What in the world??! It’s the real housewives not husbands? You think kyle has a say in what they show?? It’s the producers you need to send your ten page rant to! I also believe Lisa has been very clear about her feelings towards yolanda!! Have you missed some episodes?
Relax Jan. That poster was actually KH who got wind of this blog the other day and while her husband, kids, other mommies ignore her and she STILL hasn’t found an all women’s bowling league, her time is spent defending her beloved, Brandi the walking wind sock pole.
Hahahah too funny! It’s ok if you like brandi for whatever reason but to defend bad behavior is another story but in essence to like her you really do have to! What a conundrum!
Kychocol8——-Please refer to Daffy Duck above.
He has a message for you.
Co-sign, Maisey & Janshell.
Um…Brandi, is that you??
What did I miss? Who is KH?
That abuse of the English language came from Bluegrass Community and Technical College in Lexington Kentucky.
Clearly the commenter hasn’t passed ENG 098 yet.
On Thu, Mar 5, 2015 at 12:04 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Brandi at least have the liquid courage to use your real name when posting, it’s hyperbole otherwise
Omg that was brilliant! You could totally be a writer for Saturday Night Live! You captured the nutty character perfectly by overusing the exclamation point. If I were you, I would just submit that entire post to Lorne Michaels. You’re a genius!!
If a reality show personality shows stuff *on camera* then those topics are fair game.
Adrienne’s surrogacy, Harry’s sobriety, not brought up by the ppl involved so off limits.
Kim high as a kite from season one (drunk my ass), Kyle whining about rumors re:her marriage, and Brandi as the angry bitter hag when drinking – all on camera over and over again and topics initiated by the subjects, fair game.
In my opinion.
I’m sort of on the fence about the “personal” stuff the women introduce on the show- it’s always brought up in a nasty way, with the intention to inflict as much damage and embarrassment as possible. It’s one thing taking a pot shot at one of the other women but to bring up private info to hurt kids and husbands? It doesn’t seem right.
Just to break it down for the aspiring Saturday Night Live writers, the author of this satire accomplished this comical feat by using a total of nine question marks, five periods, and a whopping twenty three exclamation points! Remember kids, you can never over use our loyal friend the exclamation point. It’s always there waiting for us. No matter how hard the wind blows, it is like a wind sock holding on to curtains made of beef for dear life.
wtf ?!!!#!#!!!! Lol…
“What is the difference between Rinna’s behavior and Brandi’s behavior?”
Brandi is a mean calculating, classess, vindictive bitch, who will stop at nothing to destroy anothers happiness becase she des not have any. Rinna is a nice person who means well, but may not always have the best timing. Rinna has apologozed (more than once) for her bahavior.
As far as the “upper class hags” talking about Brandi, she has been given the benefit of the doubt on several seasons, but she ends up biting the hand that befriends her, so to speak. But you have one thing right, they are of a much higher class than she is….she does not know how to behave. She goes to a nice dinner party at a “friends house” then she insults another guest, sits on the hosts lap and slurs and staggers her way through the party. Thst is just on example!
As far as Kyle goes, she does not have any control over what gets filmed or shown on the show…..THE PRODUCERS DO. You clearly have an axe to grind with her, as you want to see her life in turmoil over tabloid rumors that her husband may be cheating. You clearly want it to be true…what a nice person! For the record, Kyle does not have any duty to defend Kim. Kim is an adult. She is responsible for herself, not Kyle or anyone else.
Lisa has made it quite clear how she feels about Yolanda. You are right about one thing, she does not want to be “friends” with Yo and I think she hs mde that clear.
And how can we forget the dinner party Brandi attended where she brings up “finger banging”!
You MUST be one of those that Daffy was talking about.
Sorry…I meant to post that comment under the crazy rant made by kychocol8
I got anxious reading this… !
I’m sorry to break the rules but all I can type is LOLLLLLLLLLLL at Tamara for deleting that mess! I’m glad my punctuation count is there to remind those of us that were…there.
“Never Forget”
I am so sad I missed out on the deleted comment. It sounds amazing!!!
Brandi needs a piece of cheese to go with her whine.
Sigh…because brandi! Has she forgotten the violence towards Lisa when she slapped her? I just don’t understand so much stupidity!! Silence is golden!
VERDICT IS IN and HLN is live. Sorry I don’t do email or twitter.
I couldn’t read this mess without your purple, thanks TT. I wonder how she is going to spin slapping Lisa Vanderpump’s face? Play acting? Lisa gets in the way of her hand?
All I can say TT is (forgive me for the yelling about to happen, please)
BAAAAAAYUMMMMMM!!!
Thank you, God, for this blog. I hope this is Brandi and Kim’s last season. They have truly broken with reality. Lisa R and Eileen are so much more interesting to watch.
“hurling a full drink with ice cubes in a face, and the best of all,”
Am I crazy or was that not Champagne Lisa threw? Champagne wouldn’t have ice cubes in it.
Brandi is to blame for that entire situation. Lisa R tried to discuss Brandi’s problems with Brandi, but Brandi brought up Kim, made it seem like Kim does have a problem, then went back and completely made up a bunch of shit to Kim. Not only would that conversation make Lisa even more concerned, but she poisoned Kim against Lisa. I have no doubt that Brandi’s been whispering shit into Kim’s ear regarding Eileen and Lisa. Kim was itching for a fight from the beginning, and no matter what Lisa said or did, Kim wasn’t having any of it. Anyway, I’d rather watch Lisa and Eileen mowing the lawn, picking tomatoes, or just standing there doing absolutely nothing than watch Brandi and Kim screeching and acting like assholes. Lisa and Eileen have presence and personality, and anything they do would seem interesting, at least to me. I’ll be the happiest person if next season they just bring back Eileen, Lisa, Lisa, and maybe Yolanda. Yolanda’s too preachy sometimes, but she was on point in this episode.
Totally agree @Iloveearlgrey. I hope they play Brandi talking about the patch to Lisa R at the reunion so Kim has to watch it and comment.
Tamara seems to be convinced something crazy has gone on and a lot of footage seems to have disappeared; speculating maybe Kim got things taken off air. If that’s the case, I’m sure Andy would be too scared to ask Kim real questions in the reunion #eyeroll
Has the patch ever been mentioned again? That was such a bombshell and surely Kim watched the episode and heard Brandi blab.
I’d gladly watch that show. 😉
I love your commentary TT! Brandi is a proven knucklehead and logic doesn’t seem to be her strong suit.
I’m pretty sure Kyle lives in Bel Aire — def. ritzy but not technically the 90210 — if Brandi meant her comment as some kind of dig re: Bel Aire, it still fails because I think everyone understands that “Beverly Hills” in the title is just shorthand for “ritzy LA lifestyle.”
Kyle does live in Bel Air.
Bel-Air was good enough for the Fresh Prince so it’s good enough for a Real Housewife.
Bel Air is part of L.A. city, but it’s more exclusive than the city of Beverly Hills, and it is gated. I would take Bel Air over Beverly Hills any day. Then again, if I had that sort of money I would live in Pacific Palisades, or maybe Holmby Hills 🙂
Great comments TT – loved it
Love it!
Brandi is a cunt so I know no one wants to concede she can be correct in anything she says but to claim that what went down between Lisa R and Kim wasn’t physical or violent is just incorrect legally — there doesn’t have to be actual beating/knocking another down to be violence — lunging at another person and/or throwing objects (such as a glass on the floor — not even at the other person) –both things Lisa did, is violence.
Now, I don’t buy for one second that Kim or Brandi had any injuries from what happened, but that’s not the test. Lisa R lost her shit & got scarily, violently angry. I’m not going to deny it. But she admits it, seems genuinely remorseful and apologized to EVERYONE who witnessed it. So even though it wasn’t “OK” for her to do, it seems like a forgivable momentarily lapse, IMO (which differentiates her from Brandi’s continuous inappropriate behavior/threats).
So even though everything else Brandi wrote in that blog is bullshit, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
I commend you Tamara for reviewing Brandi’s blog. I tried to read it yesterday and just couldn’t. Hyperbole – had to stop reading when I saw that word. As much as I LOVE making fun of Brandi, I just can’t put up with her anymore. She acts like she is over the show and a lot of viewers are over her – especially me. Pull the trigger Bravo.
Thanks for schooling Brandi in hyperbole, but I’m afraid it’s a wasted Lestan. Clearly she lives in an alternate universe.
Sorry, that’s supposed to be a wasted lesson! But I stand by Brandy living in an alternate universe
As long as we talk about her and as long as she remains bat shit crazy, Andy will never let her go. He cares more about the almighty dollar than what might be the right thing to do.
There may be hope. Everyone & their mama were talking about Danielle Staub & Andy had no problem letting her go. Come to think of it same thing with Jill Zarin & Kelly Bensimone in NY.
Yes there is hope, yes there is hope, yes there . . .
I’ve learned not to believe in Hope. Or Change.
On Thu, Mar 5, 2015 at 7:14 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Riley, You forget that Kelly was given another season after Scary Island, Taylor got another after Russell’s death/ DV spectacle, Tamra Judge is a cockroach that won’t die, and rhnj and rhoa are now 100% unwatchable due to crazy train. There is no Hope. Reading Andy’s latest autobio has killed all hope forever in anything he produces.
Guess I’m the eternal optimist. Good news is Kelly Bensimone, Jill Zarin & Taylor are gone. Bad news → “Tamra Judge is still a cockroach that won’t die”! SO true! ☺
Sorry Riley, that was meant for addie2u.
So tired of Brandy making cracks about age. She doesn’t look younger than Kyle or Rinna (probably due to her hard living and poorly skilled dermatologist). Love, love TT’s comment about her playing hairdo with her fake roommate. I’d much rather hang out with “boring” Eileen and Vince. Please, Bravo, axe Brandy and Kim!
Bradi’s comments remind me of the Vanderpump Rules episode where Shaena (?) Claimed to have been severely cut by flying glass, to the point where she had to be carried out of the bar and taken to the ER. Turned out, she just had a scratch.
You must realize that most, if not all, of these women have very taut faces thanks to Botox or facelifts. An ICBM launched from Montana wouldn’t stand a chance and would just bounce off their faces.
1. Brandi is such a jokester! Always just… joking, guys. C’mon, can’t you see that?
2. Didn’t Brandi practically beg Eileen to “playact” and Eileen refused?
3. Sooo, let me get this straight: one only has to “own” their behavior after a half century?
4. Brandi was only playfully “tossing” wine while everyone else is hurling, smashing, brawling, heaving, reaching, digging, grabbing, clawing, knocking… poor Brandi is on a show with veritable stuntwomen!
5. All the other HW’s think Brandi’s nuts, but Brandi thinks THEY’RE all crazy. Mmm hmmm, okay. I think there’s a famous saying that goes with this.
6. Breaking ranks? Yes, its a reality show, but it’s not Survivor.
Brandi’s been whining since day 1 – “Why can Chelsea Handler (et al.) get away with telling rude jokes / pulling off stunts but I can’t?” She’s been told repeatedly she’s NOT funny but she just doesn’t get it. Surprised? → NOT!
I love your #4 → “playfully tossing” vs. “hurling, smashing, brawling, heaving, reaching, digging, grabbing, clawing, knocking … poor Brandi is on a show with veritable stuntwomen!” She’s a real charmer that Brandi!
Yes! I remember that Chelsea comment. My answer? Because you are not Chelsea Fucking Handler. Chelsea is a seasoned comedienne; obviously Brandi is not.
Re: #4: All those verbs her ghostwriter copied/pasted from the online thesaurus stood out against Brandi’s lone “toss” 😉
If only one of those glass houses would land on Brandi, leaving nothing but a pair of long skinny legs and a pair of red bottomed Louboutin’s, and I could live happily ever after 😛
‘borrowed Loubitons’*. You’re welcome. 😉
I just Loves me some Tamara Tattles viewpoints!! Again, TT tells it like it is. Best blog out there! I’m addicted to it now and I won’t be going to rehab.
You’re addicted? Are you in a program? Do you have a sponsor? I just want you to know that there are people you can talk to…
Given that Kim is 50 years old, I wonder if she will be offended that her good friend Brandi more than once has made derogatory remarks about the other women’s age, and/or being menopausal … Kim will claim “I didn’t hear that”
LOL! Thanks for the laugh Beth.
Just when I thought I couldn’t hate Brandi any more than I already did she goes and proves me wrong yet again. She calls Kyle narcissistic, yet Brandi is the one who makes every damn thing in the world about her and how everyone should feel pity for her sorry self. The way that Brandi described the glass throwing is ridiculous. Has she ever been through any actual trauma in her entire empty life?
And the way she keeps bringing up everyone’s age annoys the hell out of me. She’s closer in age to them than I am to Brandi and her behavior “playing” or not is horrifying. Grow up.
Also her last insult to LeAnn Rimes on Twitter proves that she is incapable of ever letting go of anything ever. Bitter, jealous, and drunk isn’t attractive on anyone regardless of how short your skirt is.
Agreed. That was the most nasty delusional blog that she has ever “written”. So sick of the age thing. It would be nasty if she were 20 and it is even nastier considering she is just a few yrs younger than Kyle.
As for the constant Scheana and Leann bashing, she looks like an idiot. Enough already. Eddie, LeAnn and Sheana have married and moved on. She thinks she is the patron saint for those who were cheated on. That is why she threw the glass of alcohol in Eileen’s eyes.
Agreed. And isn’t it ironic that she is supposedly such a champion for women who have been cheated on, yet she flirts shamelessly with other ladies’ husbands?
Brandi will never change. She will be laying in the nursing home blaming Eddie, LeAnn, Kyle, Lisa and countless other all while digging imaginary glass out of her ears.
The photo you included with Kim standing back letting Brandi go off on Kyle reminds me of Kim sitting back allowing Kingsley to attack her guests when they visit her home.
“Kyle telling the world her sister is an alcoholic: ACCEPTABLE. Humiliating Kim’s children in front of the entire world. Yeah, helpful.”
According to Brandi’s logic, calling someone a “meth-head” = COMPLIMENT!
Those facial ‘meth wounds’ are just beauty spots. I’m with Brandi on this one. 😉
And Brandi’s definitely the expert on wounds . . . or is that weeping sores? Either way she’s a walking advertisement for abstinence (or heavy duty condoms).
Seeing Kyle run out like that was heartbreaking. Kim has been vicious for 3 seasons now, and I don’t blame drugs. Brandi is just a liar, and doesn’t expose hypocrisy or double standards very well. Maybe because she’s a hypocrite.
Absolutely spot on! I read Brandi’s post and wanted to rebut each and every one of her twisted lies and scary perceptions, but you took over and handily made hash out of the €rap Brandi spewed.
Truly, it appears Kim and Brandi deserve each other. Also, it is said that addicts “lash out”–taking no responsibility for their own actions–and blaming others.
Both Zkim and Brandi
She’s certifiable.
That trip may have been not have cost them any money, but there was a price to pay. Big time!
That trip may not have cost them any money,.. was what I meant to type.
When has Kim ever stood up for Kyle? Kyle is her little sister. Why does Kyle always have to stand up and protect a 50 year old woman?
I know, she never stands up for Kyle. Flashback to season one when they are in NY with all the women to see Kelsey Grammar on Broadway. When Kyle and Camille are going at it because Kyle was insistent she hadn’t said “who would want to see you without Kelsey?” They were having a screaming match at dinner over Camille’s accusation. To make a long story short Kyle was pleading with Kim to step in and defend her because she had been there when this supposedly transpired. Kim hemmed and hawed acting all sheepish saying she just gets nervous with confrontations and doesn’t know what to say.
Where the hell is that Kim? Fast forward and now you’ve got an aggressive bull terrier acting Kim ready to snarl at anyone who dares to say something she doesn’t like. How many sides to her personality does this whacko have?
I didn’t like the timid confused Kim and I detest the bully Kim before us now. She really just needs to get off the show once and for all.
There’s no way in hell Brandi’s writing her blog. Maybe it’s a totally delusional fan &/or she found a struggling creative writing student but whoever they are it’s clear they’re young as for weeks now they’ve been hung up on her cast mate’s ages. 2 weeks in a row they referenced Gladys Kravitz & this is the 3rd consecutive week “pearl clutching” is written. Since Brandi acts so immature they probably don’t realize there’s only a 4yr age difference between her & Kyle. (I didn’t realize it but no-longer-on-the-show Joyce is 3 ½ years younger than Brandi – yet another reason for Brandi’s intense hate towards her?!)
I have a suspicion it’s a rabid fan as I noticed several weeks ago any mention of her blog on Twitter & a specific uberfan would attack within minutes (with the same writing style as her blog). In the past Brandi herself had no problem directly commenting (& then this fan would jump in), but last night after I wrote a single tweet re her blog, this uberfan immediately proceeded to bombard me with over dozen tweets defending her actions & bashing her cast mates (& also referenced their old ages)! When he/she was done I received a message that I was blocked from Brandi’s Twitter feed. Oh, boo-hoo.☺ It’s beginning to look like some crazy Jill Zarin BS. Hire employees to scour the Internet — attacking then blocking any comments they find even remotely critical. What a life!
Brandi gets her gay roomie to write it. Which is why it makes little sense.
That was my suspicion also Micheal.
Her gay roomie has been safely back in his Miami home as soon as the last scene was shot.
On Fri, Mar 6, 2015 at 4:46 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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So he is using her for? Their relationship confuses me.
TV time. He has a salon in Miami. She gives him lots of free publicity and he shows up at her club events etc to style her and be her GBF who gets her home after she passes out.
He was allegedly the one who carried her out of Industry in NYC a few weeks ago.
On Fri, Mar 6, 2015 at 9:18 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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TT could it be your obnoxious ex-principal? “Look at all those exclamation points.”
You can always count on an addict to have only interest in themselves. Lisa shares with the group how she lost her sister when she was six years old and Kim immediately made it about herself.
“Drama, Action, Hyperbole!”….”Tune in next week when Lisa Vanderpump hurls her face into Brandi’s palm!”
Oh the humanity!
Oh….the stupidity.
This is a beautiful analysis- I was so hoping you’d do her blog!
I am just going to wait for the reunion. With any luck, maybe AC will fly Porsha in to purposely drag BG across the floor so we can finally be rid of her lying delusional a$$.
I’m not a fan of Porscha’s violence, but….THIS. I’m all for this. 😉
WOW, you would think Rinna grew TALONS and FANGS from the amount of throat ripping Brandi mentioned!!!!
What I don’t understand is…why Kim gets so upset when the girls bring up her sobriety. I think this is season 5 and the first 2 seasons she was liquored up…then next season she wasn’t really around, then she got some help last season and REALLY started to make some sense, was looking great and it was fine. Then this season she behaves like she did back when she was DRINKING and the girls who have seen how alcoholics act (because they’ve had personal experience with it and have openly shared it) when they slip-up and point it out…they are suddenly at fault for pointing out that she’s acting like she was when she was drinking? Kim has lost her mind, she’s acing like how dare they say I off the wagon when I’m acting like I was or like most people do when they’re off the wagon!
Brandi, calling the girls practically geriatric is downright hilarious, because homegirl is not 20! or 30! so she should have a seat cuz that age train to oldsville will be picking her up sooner rather than later. And she really seems to be hating on Eileen when just a few episodes before she was fangirlling over her to the point of flinging a glass of wine at her to re-enact a scene from the soap you love her from!
These 2…they deserve each other.
And KUDOS to Rinna for not telling on Brandi even though she could have spilled ALL the beans to Kim like Brandi was talking behind your back hon that she really IS worried about you. What’s the diff of Rinna talking with Kyle or Lisa and Brandi talking with her life-coach/friend???
Kei, “Brandi, calling the girls practically geriatric is downright hilarious, because homegirl is not 20! or 30!” → In my opinion more proof that her blog writer is some 20 something year old uber-fan that thinks his uber-cool Brandi is ageless.
Great commentary! I can’t wait for the re-union. Brandi has made threats since season 1 and she puts her hands on people. I wonder how Kim is taking what Brandi said about her to Lisa R in that infamous conversation. Brandi basically admitted that Kim is using again. Hopefully, Brandi and Kim will not be back next season. They both get so ugly that its not fun to watch.
“I wonder how Kim is taking what Brandi said about her to Lisa R in that infamous conversation” Kim didn’t hear that 😉
Now that the episode has aired & the reunion has taped, I wonder how Kim is taking what Brandi said about her to Lisa R in that infamous conversation.
TT, I love you! Brilliant work!
I cant wait to see how Brandi blogs about slapping Lisa Vanderpump. Will she say she was swatting a mosquito off lisa’s face, giving her a facial or was it Lisa’s fault for walking into her hand? LOL
So this post is getting some traction on Twitter, (Thanks so much for the retweets! y’all rock!) which has resulted in the Brandiloons arriving. I love the one who said that I am BFF’s with LVP and/or she is paying me and we are working together to get Brandi fired. I was getting sort of sick of being paid by Kenya Moore and trying to get Porsha fired.
If only someone could let LVP (and Kenya belatedly) know this since LVP blocked me when I covered her sexual harassment trial that didn’t go so well for her. It appears we have made up. Who knew?
On Fri, Mar 6, 2015 at 11:55 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Just to be clear, did you just give permission to “@” you plus LVL and Kenya in a tweet?
Are you really that stupid? Seriously?
On Fri, Mar 6, 2015 at 1:16 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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No but someone else might be.
Tamara if we really get this going, maybe we could get you trending by tonight lmao.
TT,
When getting “paid” by LVP is that in Tamara Tokens or do you get Giggy’s hand-me-downs? Does anyone think Brandi would have had even one drop of blood or a trace of glass in her skin without posting bloody photos, filing a lawsuit, or being a cop-caller? (mobwives!)
Brandi and Kim need to get off this show and star in something TruTV would air… like Trashy Divorced Terrible-Mom Junkies of the L.A. Basin.
(Long time reader, 1st comment. Thank yo so much for all the wit and laughter you provide!)
And what a great comment it was! Here’s hoping for lots more.
The second photograph pretty much sums up the confrontation: Brandi is towering threateningly over Kyle, looking like a maniac, and Kyle is leaning away from her. Good idea. I guess Brandi knows her “fans” will accept her explanation of what REALLY happened over what their own eyes see! Who tosses a drink in someone’s face as a “joke.” getting her hair, make-up and clothes wet…especially while in public? I feel so sorry for her boys. I can just imagine the comments they get from kids in school. I wonder if Eddie just doesn’t want to be a full-time parent. I can’t imagine it would be that hard to get the court to order that arrangement. She has said that both her boys usually sleep in her bed. The oldest is in middle school! And what in the heck is she doing so that one of her sons has seen her tampon string hanging out?! Geez those kids are going to need a lot of counseling before she is done screwing them up.
This blog was embarrassing. Even for Brandi. Her ghsotwriter should watch the show, or not allow Brandi to be blitzed out of her mind while dictating to him/her. The whiole thing was HYPERBOLE. Moving on to the broken glass….. IF Brandi or Kim had sustained ONE single scratch from the “flying glass” they would’ve milked that for everything they could. Close ups would be demanded. Pictures plastered on social media. I never heard either of them mention or show proof of cuts on their fingers, ears, head, etc. If Brandi spent “hours” in the shower removing shards of glass, why wasn’t that discussed on the show? And who tries to remove glass from their hair in a shower?? It would stick to your hair in water. Turn your dry head upside down and shake. Or better yet, run a comb through it. Her “stories” are reaching an all time high on the delusional scale. Brandi and Kim share more than addiction issues. They’re both emotionally stunted. Probably from years of substance abuse. Explains why Brandi thinks she’s so much younger than she actually is. Oy my head hurts!!
I wonder why Brandi keeps on talking as if she is soooo much younger than the other women. She certainly acts a lot younger, and dresses like she is a trashy 20-year-old girl. Menopause Mamas?? She is only four years younger than Kyle – I think most of these women are around 45-50. Brandi will catch up that age in the blink of an eye! Emotionally stunted is a really good description!
It really annoys me when she refers to their age in a derogatory way. It is all she has to fire back with. They criticize her horrible behaviour (which is totally fair) and she uses their physical qualities (age, accent, appearance etc.).
That is exactly it, Michael. She has nothing else to throw at them. I mean that figuratively because literally she may physically throw more crap at them during her next temper tantrum.
I think Brandi tries to use age to distance herself from the other ladies because:
1) It explains/excuses her childish antics
2) She is so far behind them in terms of achievements, accumulation, success, family life, stabilty, etc.
Sandy, I got the impression that Brandi didn’t dictate a thing. Instead she tossed him a tape of the show & said “write my blog & I’ll show you my tits” (& “if you make it real good & I’ll touch your dic-tate”).☺
Her ghostwriter is a female. Originally from that state where they hold u their hand and show you where their city is on their “Mitten.” She is actually off the mitten entirely to above the middle finger. Kidding not.
On Fri, Mar 6, 2015 at 7:39 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Male, female – I really don’t think it matters with Brandi. I stand by her saying “write my blog & I’ll show you my tits” but instead of touching his dic-tation, she probably offered to touch her “mitten”!
I was able to decipher the majority of your comment but the last part “she is actually off the mitten entirely to above the middle finger” → is that code for Brandi’s favorite fingering method?! ☺
I had written “off the mitten to the north” then backtracked not quite far enough. I mean that she would be pointing to a point above her middle finger rather than on the mitten itself to show where she has from.
If you have never met anyone from Michigan, it’s really quite cute. One of my favorite one night stands was with a Yupper. We were in Iowa and I was snowed in at an International Teachers Job Fair. #swoon.
On Fri, Mar 6, 2015 at 8:52 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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LOL You’re probably right. That blog was so off, not even Brandi herself could’ve believed a word of it. Maybe she “hired” a political speech writer and paid him in blow jobs? I can only imagine how she will respond to questions on the reunion show when she doesn’t have someone talking for her. Lot’s of screaming and F bombs, I’m sure, since she can’t form an intelligent argument for her behavior this season. No one can!!
Yeah ! Remember how many times she bitched about the little scratch from Kyle’s bracelet ? I laughed so hard over her remarks about glass in her jeans, underwear and even her ears. How come all the women that were closer didn’t get hit by any glass? But it sure sounds like Kim and Brandi did.
If I were her ghostwriter I would’ve claimed it was a fully automatic, heat seeking wine glass, fully equipped with a scope and laser. Would’ve made more sense.
The glass shards were trained to land only on those with IQs below 70…
On Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 11:37 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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She’s a hyper a**hole.
I am so exhausted from these women and their fighting. Seriously. I am ready for the reunion and on to NY. I have no idea how these women can work together, with all the “hyperbole” and bullshit lies.
Even if Kim is back next year, I just can’t with Brandi any more. She is so delusional and her fight is so resolute that I honestly don’t think there is any hope for her ever seeing things clearly. It’s more than being a hot mess. It’s as if she has no logic. I don’t think a leading team of psychiatrists could get through to her. Thanks for all your work Tamara. I could never do this everyday, as rehashing some of their behavior frustrates the hell out of me.
And by the way, I LOVE it when stupid people use words incorrectly to try and sound intelligent.
Let’s hope Bravo fires her next year. She brings drama, but it’s not fun drama.
You should see the Brandiloons defending the misuse of words on my timeline. They are hysterical. One said something like, “How dare you say mean things about Brandi? You do you think you are you WHORE!”
I retweet my fav ones on my TL. 🙂
On Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 12:11 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I dumped my Twitter. I only used it to keep a watchful eye out on my neices and nephews. However, they are old enough now to know better than to post stupid shit. May have to get a new one now just for some laughs!
You don’t have to have an account to see my TL. I have plenty of stalkers there. lol.
https://twitter.com/TamaraTattles
I just found out I’m pregnant when I went to get you the link. The things I learn from Brandiloons.
On Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 12:33 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Hooking up with that Yupper again? #swoon! Can’t say I blame you after all you gave up for Lentils. We all need some vices.
Can’t wait to plan the baby shower. ☺
Have you told Banjo yet?
Alas, the Yupper is up in the frozen tundra. I have to make due with the locals.
On Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 1:25 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I posted a comment to the Brandiloon that called you a bitch whore and he thanked me. Apparently, he doesn’t understand sarcasm. It was cute.
I think his head may actually explode. It must be exhausting to roam the interwebs defending Brandi Glanville’s honor. But some misguided fools seem to enjoy it. 🙂
On Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 4:37 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Excellent post TT… thank you for breaking it all down for us. Now if Bravo would just get rid of Brandi for all our sakes.
Brandi tweeted “violence is not the answer” . I wonder if she came to this realization before or after slapping Lisa Vanderpump? Lol
Tamara, I generally don’t engage in back and forth banter with the BG fans. I broke my own rule commenting on your TL.
no worries. I let him stick around for our amusement. We all need someone to kick around now and then. He seems a deserving volunteer.
On Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 11:36 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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