Lisa tweeted before the show began that she was full of piss and vinegar. So that gives me hope this might be a good show. Also, Lisa was photographed being carried over a snow bank into the building to film. It’s all over the tabloids today. This Morning Wendy Williams threw some shade at Andy by putting up the picture saying Lisa was in town “for something.” She went on to point out that Lisa was wearing heels and no coat and if she was local she would know to wear her Uggs inside and then change shoes. I guess this feud has NOT been put to rest. Um, why would someone from L.A. need Uggs? Side note: Don’t you hate when Californians wear Uggs and scarves and knit hats in summer with shorts? What is up with that? I bet those knit hats hold in their hippie smells (patchouli and weed). Ew. Just EW.
Okay my stupid Charter DVR needs like a rest between taping shows so if you tape two things at 10 pm then whatever you tape at 11 is “clipped.” Because, Charter. So I missed the first minute but the deal is that it is Dakota Fanning’s 21st Birthday and for some reason at the bar there is both an ice sculpture of Giggy and some sort of Frat boy theme with a topless male bartender and jello shots. It’s basically something out of one of Andy Cohen’s wet dreams.
Holy Shit! Dakota is in the first chair. Let’s hope it is because it’s her birthday and not Andy throwing shade.
Andy talks about Steve Tyler kissing Kyle on stage and goes on to make all sorts of comparisons about Lisa and Stephen. Lisa takes it all in good fun. Then he gets right into the weirdness between Kim and Lisa on the plane. Andy asks if she regrets getting involved with the whole situation with Kim. Lisa lets out a string of expletives so long I can’t decipher them. Then she says she doesn’t regret because she was truly concerned, and still is concerned and she came from a good place at all times.
Andy shows a clip from next week where Brandi goes off on everyone because they can say whatever the want to about her but she can’t say the truth about them. She somehow implies Kyle is a bad mother. Kyle says she has never said that Brandi is a bad mother. (BTW this scene was filmed after everyone has smoked pot/hash and the bar) Brandi screams in frustration saying they are all a bunch of hypocrites and storms off.
After that clip, Andy plays plead the fifth with Dakota. The first question is if there could only be 6 housewives who would you get rid of? She says Brandi. And suddenly Dakota has a lot of new fans. Andy says why? She says, “She is just a little aggressive for me on the show.” You can say it Dakota, she’s a cunt.
After one of the games Keith, the hot yoga instructor from the scenes with Yolanda and Brandi comes out to give them their prizes. Now THAT is a birthday present! Except now that I have watched him walk, sadly he is gay. And a bottom. Fantasy ruined.
Questions for Lisa:
Do you have any regrets from the season? No, I really don’t. Even when I do things that I’m not proud of doing, I own it and no regrets. Lisa just found out there was a poll question and she is not happy. Andy however is thrilled.
What is the most surprising thing about being on the show? The level of deflection and projection is the most surprising thing.
A caller congratulations Lisa on filming her first reunion. Lisa says, “Thank you, I survived and I didn’t go to prison.” The caller asks, If you could describe the reunion in three words what would they be? ” Oh I don’t know if I can say them because they would all be cuss words. No, it was really an intense day, it was like the weirdest roller coaster ride on the planet. I really don’t know how to describe it. It was very emotional. ” Andy chimes in to say It was the most emotional reunion in the five years of the franchise.
What is the most shocking behind the scenes hookup on Melrose Place? She thinks a minute and has a great answer but she can’t say .
Poll Question: Whose side are you on? Kim or Lisa? Lisa won by 83%
They ended doing an ice luge ( I guess that is what the ice Giggy was for) . It was a cute show and Andy seemed to like Lisa.
I am DYING to know what the secret Melrose hookup was!!!
Dakota Fanning is adorable and the clips of her as a child were so cute! Lisa read my mind when she blurted out after a clip of little Dakota that she was more mature then than Lisa is now. I love Lisa!
I was kinda bored with this one…thought the Giggy Porn was strange, Andy was gushing over DF and did anyone notice she barely looked at the hunky college dude? Best moment was when DF said she’d boot BG…Andy was gagging!
Hahaha I love you TT. How on earth can you tell he was a bottom?
I have the most finely tuned radar on the planet. Decades of being a fag had in Atlanta.
On Wed, Feb 25, 2015 at 2:10 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
So glad you guys liked the post. I am about to run out into the hood with the dog again. I am not really focusing on my work here today. I’m like a five year old when it snows. We had like half dollar sized flakes and it felt like we were inside a snow globe. It’s probably about 34 out there now I think we might be close to done for a bit.
On Wed, Feb 25, 2015 at 5:35 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
> I have the most finely tuned radar on the planet. Decades of being a fag > had in Atlanta. > > On Wed, Feb 25, 2015 at 2:10 PM, Tamara Tattles [email protected]> wrote: > >>
Enjoy the snow! You deserve a break now and then. I’m hoping we finally get some decent snow tonight, or this weekend. Like you, I really get a kick out of it. We have had very little snow this year.
Thanks. Today was some of the prettiest snow I’ve ever seen. The ground was too warm to stick but we have a chance for some more overnight and tomorrow. It sounds like a rain/sleet mix out there now.
On Wed, Feb 25, 2015 at 6:15 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
>
Was I the only one who was going nuts watching them try to take those Jell-O shots? They all thought you just tip your head back and it slides right in your mouth like liquid. You have to stick your finger in there and dig around until it comes loose. I imagine Dakota and Lisa are too fancy to have any experience with that, but surely Andy has had some experience in this department.
But that was Dakota turning 21 and I think she did a great job, pretending or not, to wrinkle her nose at the ice fountain shot and clumsiness with the Jell-O shot. I’m almost twice her age and can just vaguely remember doing a Jell-O shot once in my life. I’m not even positive if I did it.
I just squish the cup and it pops out. Usually anyway.
Or your tongue.
Running a toothpick between the cup and the jello works wonders, too. I noticed that they were in shot glasses instead of condiment cups. Who does that?
The same “bartender” who didn’t know how to pour beer out of a keg?
On Wed, Feb 25, 2015 at 11:37 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Great recap, TT. Thanks! I am looking forward to watching Lisa Rinna kick Kim’s ass next week.
TT, Great recap and fun read. Lisa is easy to like and I hope it remains that way.
TT you are too funny. How can you tell that the yoga instructor is not straight by the way he walks?
I have impeccable gaydar. Even my gay friends ask me for my feedback. Decades of being a fag hag.
I have good gaydar too, but usually in person. I have to go back now and watch the episode to see how he walks. LOL
It was just the way he carries himself. I also thought it was weird that he didn’t say a word. Like Andy and the ladies didn’t even say, hi!
On Wed, Feb 25, 2015 at 8:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Yes, TT, you are truly hilarious. Every single time I read your blog, it literally makes me laugh out loud. Thank you for that.
I’ve been waiting on the damn #snowpocalypseatl2015, and it’s not here. Dammit. But, I am enjoying your blog, as usual.
I was really disappointed that the gay shark did not do a shot from the ice luge.
Because…charter.. Bwahahaha! I can so relate!! They suck balls
Dakota whisely said get rid of Brandi. Andy, did you listen? Next week is gonna be intense. Have fun in the snow TT
8inches and still coming down! Vans in the ditch and I’m making snow creme. Bailey has his sweater on. Snowman tommorrow, I love it. Thanks TT for keeping us entertained. Weed and Patchouli, giggles
Thanks for the recap! It’s seriously better than watching the show.