Tamara Tattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade.

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You are here: Home / Vanderpump Rules / VanderPump Rules Recap: Ring on a String

VanderPump Rules Recap: Ring on a String

February 17, 2015 by tamaratattles 73 Comments

Pump Scheana Wedding

 

It’s time for  the Scheana and Shay’s reception. I think they got married at the perfect time of day. followed by cocktail hour. The setting is really beautiful. Lisa and Kristen have a run in at the wedding. Kristen points out that Lisa doesn’t have any business in her staff’s personal relationships.

Stassi and her minion meet for drinks and to make fun of Scheana’s wedding and her wedding dress in particular. And Lisa and Ken and Gigi.

Schwartz is feeling his inner bride. Jax is hoping he will get laid. The usual. Carmon is pissed because Vail is at their table. Does she know they banged? They both claim not to remember.

Scheana’s wedding planner again fucks up the music and the presentation of the newlyweds. She supposedly had some choreography that had to be at a certain point in the song. But really? All they did was jump up and down.

James is drunk and pissy. Vail and Peter flirt. Katie and Schwartz are planning their wedding. Schwartz gives Katie some sort of wedding band thing on a necklace. Katie is distraught. It’s a meaningless ring. Not at all what she wants.  Tom and Ariana do a kissing scene for the cameras. Jax begs Carmon to spend the night. Carmon is so not feeling Jax tonight. She seems very jealous of Vail.

Photo Credit: Bravo
Photo Credit: Bravo

Kristen is fed up with James and is taking a Uber home. Max sends James to apologize to Kristen. But James freaks out because she is leaving with “her trainer” who looks more like a tattoo artist or that guy that was the MC on Utopia. He is patiently smoking a cigar, as all good trainers do, while she fights with James secure in the knowledge he will be getting some tonight. James tells Kristen she is “inmanageable” several times. He says that is why she is 31 and can’t get anyone to marry her. He is chasing her all over the parking lot as she screams at him to get away from her. He keeps coming at her and she slaps the hell out of him twice and threatens to call the police. James stalks off screaming “you’re a lying slut who has fucked everybody at SUR.  And they are done. Or are they?

Jax on the other hand is trying to pick up some strange by insulting every woman he sees.  I like big girls!  I mean I don’t like model types!  This is not working for him somehow.  So he tries hitting on Lisa Vanderpump.  Lisa informs us in her talking head that Jax has a better shot at becoming a Rhodes scholar than making it with her.

James immediately runs to Sandoval and tells him that Kristen punched him in the face. I don’t believe that Tom and Ariana are really dating. They just seem to be acting. Is it just me?

They after party moves to the cottages. Everyone parties and has a good time. So why is Scheana waking up all cranky pants and mad at James and Kristen. The altercation happened in the parking lot and no one would even have known if James wasn’t crying like a little bitch to everyone.

Next week: Kristen and James have the same old fight. Kristen makes some sort of unholy alliance with Stassi. NO KRISTEN! NO! And Kristen and Scheanna break up.

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Filed Under: Vanderpump Rules Tagged With: 2015, Ariana, Ariana Madix, Bitch Slap, Bravo, Breaking News, Cabo, Did Jax Bang Kristen?, Did Jax Sleep WIth Kristen, Did Kristen Sleep With Jax, Did Schwartz Cheat on Katie?, Did Tom Cheat on Ariana?, Did Tom Sleep With Ariana, Entertainment, Entertainment News, Gay Tom, Guillermo Zapata, Is Jax Lying AGAIN?, James, Jax, Jax changed his name, Jax Leaves Miami in Shame, Jax Taylor, Katie Maloney, Ken Todd, Kristen, Kristen Doute, Lisa, Lisa Vanderpump, Miami, Mike Shay, Mind the Jax, News Archive, Peter, PUMP, Recap, San Diego, Sandoval, Scheana, Scheana and Mike Get Engaged, Scheana Marie, Scheana's Wedding, Scheana's Wedding By Bravo, Schwartz, Season Finale, Spoilers, Stassi, Stassi Bitch Slaps Kristen, Stassi Schroeder, Stassi Slaps Kristen, Text Messages, Tiffany, Tom, Tom and Katie, Tom and Kristen on WWHL, Tom Attacks Jax, Tom Sandoval, Tom Sandoval is in Love With Jax, Tom Schwartz, Twice, Vail, Vanderpump Rules, Wedding By Bravo, wedding planner, What is Jax's real name?, Why did Jax leave miami?, Why was Jax in Jail?, WWHL 2014

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Jaded says

    February 17, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    Remember Stassi saying how she couldn’t be friends with someone because how would she explain it to her children? Well if that person isn’t Stassi herself it is most definitely Kristen!

    Reply
  2. theblissexpress says

    February 17, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    This episode was worth it because of Sandoval dancing. Great laughs, great times.

    Reply
  3. jelley says

    February 17, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    I hated how Scheana kept saying they kristen punched James “at my wedding.” Like you noted, it happened on the street or a parking lot where no one had a clue that went on. Scheana drives me with her constant whining. James sucks. I believe he was really in love with Kristen, though. Can’t wait until next week!

    Reply
    • Angel(?) says

      February 17, 2015 at 11:53 pm

      Scheana would of never known about the parking lot tiff if James hadn’t cried to her! Mark my words, Scheana will invite Kristin to another event. Why? To quote TT because “Kristin is the star!”

      Reply
  4. stanhope says

    February 17, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    These men are the most p$$$y whipped dudes I have ever seen. Jax has a face like Linus the Lionhearted I.e. a face only a blind mother could love. Patti Sanger said James is gay….if Kristen slapped me I throw her shyt on the street. Her hole must be like a sewer in Venice. Katie…a ring on a string???? What more do you need to know. Kick spineless dude to the curb and he can s$ck off Jax when his harem isn’t around.

    Reply
    • DJFL says

      February 17, 2015 at 9:29 pm

      I quit watching this show after the first two episodes because I couldn’t stand to look Jax’s FUGLY face.

      Reply
  5. Artistang says

    February 17, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Boy was that ever a gift with a hidden message; a ring on a string meaning here’s a ring with strings attached?

    Reply
    • O.O says

      February 17, 2015 at 4:56 pm

      @artistang. Maybe It means that he’s going to continue to string her along

      Reply
      • sandra says

        February 17, 2015 at 5:55 pm

        Yes!

        Reply
      • Artistang says

        February 17, 2015 at 5:57 pm

        yes thats probably it !

        Reply
    • T D says

      February 18, 2015 at 5:51 am

      Now they’re going steady.

      Reply
  6. O.O says

    February 17, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    Dear Lord this crew is exhausting , they seem to live in a parallel universe , can people really function this way in the real world ?
    Was schena serious about having to come in at a certain part of the song when all she did was jump and try to do some sort of rump shake ?
    Are we to believe that she paid for that wedding on her tips? Are we to believe that if she had to pay for this wedding on her own that there would be random people like Kristins trainer and vale who she just met? I’ll stop now but I have so many questions .

    Reply
    • Sick of "reality " TV says

      February 17, 2015 at 9:48 pm

      She told Lisa that she had just received a settlement from a lawsuit that had been in the works for years and as a result the wedding budget had tripled. I got the impression it jumped from $30k to $90k. Idiots! I assume they still rent apartments and have car payments…

      Reply
      • O.O says

        February 17, 2015 at 10:18 pm

        Yes , I forgot about that . She’s probably lying .

        Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        February 17, 2015 at 10:52 pm

        ​Idiots indeed. But at that age I can forgive their lack of finances. Scheana’s parents don’t have money… besides. That is just storyline. We all know Bravo paid. I saw no promotion for those flowers though and as someone who is super into flowers and at one time was buying a florist (9-11 happened at the time and the banks all freaked on the entrepreneurial loans) That was some REALLY nice floristry and when I send flowers to that area, they are triple what I normally pay. So she may have put her budget to flowers.

        On Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 9:48 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

        Reply
  7. HotToddy says

    February 17, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    As Kristen states, the staff’s personal relationships aren’t Lisa’s business. But they are when you’re on a fake tv show and that’s Lisa’s only function. This show drives me nuttier but I can’t help watching.

    Reply
    • therealdeb says

      February 17, 2015 at 8:25 pm

      it is her business when there bullshit effects her business. don’t shit where you sleep and all

      Reply
      • PixNTrix says

        February 17, 2015 at 8:50 pm

        I agree but then Lisa should have a problem with all her staff not just a select few. They all drink her liquor at work yet Lisa only chastised Kirsten and James for doing it. The only one I haven’t seen sneaking a drink is Vail.

        Reply
      • HotToddy says

        February 17, 2015 at 9:06 pm

        I agree, realdeb. It’s almost like Kristen has never worked anywhere that she’s had to act decent.

        Reply
  8. oghousewife says

    February 17, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    Scheana annoyed me when she woke the morning after her wedding and complained to the group about Kristen as if she was the reason she was in a bad mood. No b*! $h, you are in a bad mood because you spent 90 grand on your wedding and din’t hire a cleaning crew and now your hung over behind needs to do some cleaning.

    Reply
    • janet says

      February 22, 2015 at 1:26 am

      I think she was in a bad mood because the coke and alcohol were wearing off. Had nothing to do with Kristen.

      Reply
  9. Twilly says

    February 17, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    Anyone else notice that the bridesmaid Stacie as also on the Hills?

    Reply
  10. Maisey says

    February 17, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    I think of Shay as the groups Harpo Marx. He is just kind of there all the time but nuttin’ much to say. I’ve seen him in fights, at his engagement, at his wedding—-can’t remember anything he has ever said. Sweet guy and I bet they have a shot a making that marriage last.

    Reply
  11. breelee says

    February 17, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    That was Kristen’s trainer my hiney. That is no business relationship, except monkey business. I’ve never been so sure two people have slept together in my life, James is so stupid.

    Run Katie, run. What a horrible gift for a woman who wants marriage. In a ring box no less. Couldn’t Tom have put it in a long box at least? Or was that for our benefit, so we’d think he was proposing? After spending $90k you have to do the clean up? lmbo I noticed Scheana just drank beer and watched.

    Scheana”s “I’m the only one married” comments got old. She forgot to add she’s already had a husband…Eddie. hee hee

    Reply
    • janet says

      February 17, 2015 at 9:38 pm

      Whats sad is that Sheanna saying that, just illustrates how much marriage is a dying institution. There was a time (about 15 years ago) most people their age, would be married. Now all the guys want to play Peter Pan. They want to postpone until its off the table, or until they’re no longer attractive to those they find atttactive.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        February 17, 2015 at 10:44 pm

        Actually there has been a major trend of women who are successful not wanting to get married just for the sake of being married. Women’s lib is responsible for the emasculated male, and the polar opposite created by women being more openly sexual, the narcissist male who just wants everyone to accept his bad behavior as an act of love. /eyeroll

        On Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 9:38 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

        Reply
      • janet says

        February 18, 2015 at 12:21 am

        I guess its a trend of both. I just worry and notice that women who want marriage and family are getting screwed. Im married so it doesn’t effect me directly. My husband is totally into me. I respect independent women lve just seen alot of women who are pissed because they want what used tobe a given.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          February 18, 2015 at 2:50 pm

          ​Yes there are women who want traditional gender roles and marriages etc. The problem is that the whole women’s lib think emasculated a lot of men empowered (masculinized) a lot of women so the dating pool is full of people unsuited for traditional partnering. You end up sorting through the flotsam and jetsam until you realize you might as well just go it alone.

          On Wed, Feb 18, 2015 at 12:21 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
      • janet says

        February 18, 2015 at 12:35 am

        Its a case of careful what you wish for. There is a biological element in all relationships , you just cant ignore. I think I just absorbed , when I was young, the message that I had to get serious and find a partnership while was most desirable

        Reply
      • LookersMissesMelissa says

        February 19, 2015 at 9:02 pm

        It’s SUPER pathetic for a girl her age to run around town behaving as if having a husband & being married is some sort of achievement that has now made her a huge success in life. Honestly! She’s said it so many times it’s become sad. Was this her life’s most glorious successful moment? It’s kinda sad.
        Also, her showing off that she is “the only one of her friends with a husband” while her “best friend” Pandora stands right next to her was maddening!! Am I the only one with a fking brain here?!? Can’t anyone correct her? Or just ask her to STFU already?!? So are they actually friends or is Scheana just an idiot?? Didn’t Pandora arrange her tea party bridal shower???

        Thankfully I don’t actually know this girl because I DO NOT want to be anywhere near her when she gets pregnant or has a kid. She’s going to behave as if she won a Pulitzer or became the first woman on Mars.

        Reply
    • janet says

      February 17, 2015 at 10:23 pm

      When a guy says he has comittement issues, (like Tom said) in my experience, its code for all sorts of bad. It means you’re a good for right now girl, or a Im never sure what I want kinda guy. Its a recipe for heartache and a ugly disaster. Katie is afraid to rock the boat, like most of us do , when we know the guy doesnt really give a fuck if we dump then or not. We know any ultimatim will just confirm what we suspect. I feel sorry for Katie, she deserves better. Not a empty gesture.

      Reply
      • Maisey says

        February 18, 2015 at 1:12 am

        Calm down, Janet.

        Reply
  12. Frosty says

    February 17, 2015 at 7:12 pm

    I don’t buy Tom and Ariana as a couple, though they look very pretty together. Sandoval gets an eye roll anyway because he’s such a terrible actor. His weepy and dramatic apology video to Scheana? Please!

    Reply
  13. janagoodwin9 says

    February 17, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    I’m quite certain Bravo would have picked up the tab for Scheana’s wedding, especially since they were able to get 2 episodes out of it. The only thing classier than that crop top wedding dress, would have to have been the couple’s first dance…with the bride twerking. Classy.

    Reply
    • PixNTrix says

      February 17, 2015 at 8:53 pm

      Lisa needs to pretend Scheana paid for it because she only the employee remember.

      Reply
  14. LBND says

    February 17, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    Scheana seemed like a bridezilla at times! Like seriously who cares if you don’t do your stupid little dance when the DJ announces you..just smile, wave, and kiss your husband. You don’t have to have a meltdown over it!

    Reply
  15. LBND says

    February 17, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    I forgot to add…Stassi must be SEETHING with jealousy that Scheana got married before her! She is like dying for dat ring….

    Reply
  16. Allison says

    February 17, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    @Twilly I pointed that out last week-I saw her on the show and thought it was her, then looked at Scheana’s instagram to get a better look at her and sho’ nuff, Stacie Hall. Jax tried really hard with her too-

    Reply
  17. Allison says

    February 17, 2015 at 8:35 pm

    They were better off skipping the “choreographed” dance/entrance. Did they practice that? Because all she did was jump up and down and wave her flowers around. I thought Tom and Ariana looked very in love and make a beautiful couple. Kristen just did her shruggy shoulder thing when talking to Lisa, AWKWARD-but the reception did look gorgeous. Wedding planner-useless.

    Reply
    • jelley says

      February 17, 2015 at 9:26 pm

      All Kristen does (besides stalk Tom) is shrug her shoulder.

      Reply
      • Maisey says

        February 17, 2015 at 10:22 pm

        I think she has restless shoulder syndrome.

        Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        February 17, 2015 at 10:40 pm

        Isn’t it awesome?​

        On Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 9:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

        Reply
    • janet says

      February 18, 2015 at 12:45 am

      Yeah, for Sheanna being a performer , it was weak. I could have pulled it off better, as I can dance. Im a regular person so, thats says something.

      Reply
  18. PixNTrix says

    February 17, 2015 at 8:44 pm

    I just saw the episode, so behind, and I couldn’t agree more about Scheana over reacting to the Kristin and James thing. I know Kristin is crazy but in a car crash that you can’t look away from kind of way, but she did the right thing in trying to leave so she didn’t cause a scene. James is a cry baby drunk that can’t hold his liquor. Disappointed in Scheana for reacting the way she did without finding out the facts.

    Reply
    • janet says

      February 18, 2015 at 1:00 am

      Kristens side wasnt shown , and that wasnt fair. But , Sheanna has allways seemed like a fair type of girl , so I dont know. Maybe she was too buzzed , or was tierd of how James was being used, and knew he deserved better. Anyway Kristen is awful , if she doesnt consider James feelings , at some point. I dont think James is gay, I think Patti Stanger is wrong about that. If she was so perceptive shed be married with family, and shes not. She may know some stuff, but not everything.

      Reply
  19. Frosty says

    February 17, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    I’ll say one thing for her, Kristen’s got quite a pimp hand.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      February 17, 2015 at 10:18 pm

      giggles​

      On Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 8:48 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
  20. Undine says

    February 17, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    My favorite part of the episode was Stassi pathetically ragging on Scheana’s wedding with her dumb minion and Stassi whispering through her teeth “We look like losers”. It was so dreadful and delicious: the former Queen Bee completely and utterly irrelevant and humiliated. Bwhahahahaha!

    Reply
    • Emily says

      February 17, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Hahaha yes! I loved that she had some self awareness for once in her life, because they sounded pathetic.

      Reply
    • jelley says

      February 17, 2015 at 9:29 pm

      Or when the minion asked Stassi who her bridesmaids would be and she basically at a loss. The minion is her only friend.

      Reply
    • NeverBeenJaxed says

      February 18, 2015 at 12:11 pm

      That part was delicious! I don’t like to capitalize on other people’s heartache but she really kinda had that coming to her. Just wish she could try and be nicer. But, Stassi.

      The BEST shot of the night was the one of Jax’s face when the word “NO” was thrown at him. Over and Over. Poor dude was in all kinds of shock. The look of disbelief on his face was priceless.

      Reply
  21. Emily says

    February 17, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    Did anyone else catch when Sandoval said “anytime I want to go on a vacation, I just look in Ariana’s eyes”? That was truly a gag-worthy, horrific line. And to say it in the presence of others…

    Reply
    • Frosty says

      February 17, 2015 at 9:03 pm

      And so forced, at least to me.

      Reply
  22. Bree7702 says

    February 17, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    Scheana’s voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard. That Kardashian lag she has is so annoying. I like her, but that voice gets more annoying every season. Nice wedding though.

    Reply
    • LBND says

      February 18, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      WOW..What a great way to classify Scheana’s voice…Kardashian Lag. I was always wondering if it annoyed anybody else.

      Reply
      • Allison says

        February 18, 2015 at 1:39 pm

        Her inflection kills me. She says everything as a question.

        Reply
  23. Jess says

    February 17, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    Wonder how much Lisa shelled out for the wedding… Especially as she owed
    Scheana after she testified for Lisa in court when the whole sexual harassment/hostile workplace lawsuit went down.

    Reply
    • Jess says

      February 17, 2015 at 9:09 pm

      Or Lisa, being an executive producer, decided “my wedding” would be a main storyline this season so Bravo would pay for it

      Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      February 17, 2015 at 10:26 pm

      ​I think covering the alcohol was her payback for the testimony. Allegedly.

      On Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 9:06 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
  24. Xanadude says

    February 18, 2015 at 12:30 am

    I laugh each week at the opening credits – the one thing these people are ostensibly hired to do is pour drinks and yet in the opening, without fail, all the alcohol ends up being poured on the floor.

    Reply
  25. Joe says

    February 18, 2015 at 12:45 am

    How does Stassi get camera time?

    Reply
  26. Cloudsofsand says

    February 18, 2015 at 12:54 am

    I kept getting annoyed how they kept saying on a ‘waitress budget’ when Shay has 2 jobs and she also gets paid by Bravo

    Reply
  27. run_dmc says

    February 18, 2015 at 1:00 am

    One thing jumped out at me. Scheana saying that “none of her friends are married.” Isn’t Pandora supposed to be one of her best friends? Isn’t Pandora and her friendship why Scheana’s engagement party was at Lisa’s house and why Lisa explains why Scheana is always around places that aren’t necessarily work related? And, didn’t Pandora get married over a year ago???

    Reply
    • Maisey says

      February 18, 2015 at 8:39 am

      She meant none of her whore friends.

      Reply
  28. Skeeter says

    February 18, 2015 at 3:38 am

    No TT you’re not the only one who thinks Sandoval and Ariana are not a couple. I cannot stand when they kiss and Ariana is smiling the entire time. Who the hell does that? The “we’re so in love” schtick is a bit over the top, IMHO.

    Reply
  29. laura says

    February 18, 2015 at 3:49 am

    Oh i just wana slap scheana!! She always has somthing to bitch about.just shut your piehole for 1 episode.kristen what a hoe, tom and ariana so cute together . What can we say about stassi, your necklaces just stupid.shes so jealous cant stand it.had to look for pictures.love the recaps tt.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      February 18, 2015 at 2:54 pm

      Laura, please read the commenting rules especially #5.​

      On Wed, Feb 18, 2015 at 3:49 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
  30. lisamia says

    February 18, 2015 at 4:25 am

    I can’t decide if Tom Schwartz is a sadist or just really really stupid.

    Reply
    • Katherine says

      February 18, 2015 at 2:56 pm

      Neither. He’s a manchild.

      Reply
      • Maisey says

        February 19, 2015 at 2:50 am

        It could very well be that it is Katie who is the stupid sadist.
        Trust me, these women are not the sweet little innocents they portray.

        Reply
  31. NeverBeenJaxed says

    February 19, 2015 at 7:12 am

    Love it or leave it, the wedding was gorgeous and very similar to my brother’s wedding which also was a short distance from LA but breathtaking. The scenery north of LA is stunning. The wedding and reception were totally Scheana and I did think her dress was Scheana-esque. If she wants to make it a crop top wedding dress, it’s her day, so be it. If she is happy that’s all that matters. Sunset weddings in California are beautiful.

    I’m happy for Shay and Scheana and wish them a lifetime of happiness together. I love this show, it’s my guilty guilty pleasure.

    Reply
  32. Gilette says

    February 20, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    Maybe it’s just me, but I think Sandoval and Ariana are a beautiful couple. They are very clearly in love and I am willing to wager on a proposal.

    Scheana was a monster. Good Lord. I’ll chalk it up to stress, but weddings are really meant to be enjoyed. It’s too bad she couldn’t loosen up and be more considerate of her guests, who must have been wondering why they had to stand through two iterations of the same song.

    Katie is getting what she is willing to settle for. I don’t get these women who try to manipulate a man into marrying them by being long-suffering and then guilting them into a proposal.

    My hubs swore he would never get married. A year after we started dating, I told him that marriage was in my near future and we could either get married, or I would love him from afar. I mean, what’s wrong with honesty?

    Reply
    • janet says

      February 22, 2015 at 1:47 am

      Obviously , Katie is afraid to speak her mind ,while backing it up. I did the same thing you did, with my husband. I told him what I wanted and told him if it wasnt what he wants it would be over. No threat, as I would respect his wishes as I would hope he would resoect mine. My older sister was totally against me doing this at the time, as she considered it issuing an ultimatim. I considered it an honest discussion of what we wanted for the future. Its okay to say what you want and to see if they’re on the same page.

      Reply

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