It’s time for the Scheana and Shay’s reception. I think they got married at the perfect time of day. followed by cocktail hour. The setting is really beautiful. Lisa and Kristen have a run in at the wedding. Kristen points out that Lisa doesn’t have any business in her staff’s personal relationships.
Stassi and her minion meet for drinks and to make fun of Scheana’s wedding and her wedding dress in particular. And Lisa and Ken and Gigi.
Schwartz is feeling his inner bride. Jax is hoping he will get laid. The usual. Carmon is pissed because Vail is at their table. Does she know they banged? They both claim not to remember.
Scheana’s wedding planner again fucks up the music and the presentation of the newlyweds. She supposedly had some choreography that had to be at a certain point in the song. But really? All they did was jump up and down.
James is drunk and pissy. Vail and Peter flirt. Katie and Schwartz are planning their wedding. Schwartz gives Katie some sort of wedding band thing on a necklace. Katie is distraught. It’s a meaningless ring. Not at all what she wants. Tom and Ariana do a kissing scene for the cameras. Jax begs Carmon to spend the night. Carmon is so not feeling Jax tonight. She seems very jealous of Vail.
Kristen is fed up with James and is taking a Uber home. Max sends James to apologize to Kristen. But James freaks out because she is leaving with “her trainer” who looks more like a tattoo artist or that guy that was the MC on Utopia. He is patiently smoking a cigar, as all good trainers do, while she fights with James secure in the knowledge he will be getting some tonight. James tells Kristen she is “inmanageable” several times. He says that is why she is 31 and can’t get anyone to marry her. He is chasing her all over the parking lot as she screams at him to get away from her. He keeps coming at her and she slaps the hell out of him twice and threatens to call the police. James stalks off screaming “you’re a lying slut who has fucked everybody at SUR. And they are done. Or are they?
Jax on the other hand is trying to pick up some strange by insulting every woman he sees. I like big girls! I mean I don’t like model types! This is not working for him somehow. So he tries hitting on Lisa Vanderpump. Lisa informs us in her talking head that Jax has a better shot at becoming a Rhodes scholar than making it with her.
James immediately runs to Sandoval and tells him that Kristen punched him in the face. I don’t believe that Tom and Ariana are really dating. They just seem to be acting. Is it just me?
They after party moves to the cottages. Everyone parties and has a good time. So why is Scheana waking up all cranky pants and mad at James and Kristen. The altercation happened in the parking lot and no one would even have known if James wasn’t crying like a little bitch to everyone.
Next week: Kristen and James have the same old fight. Kristen makes some sort of unholy alliance with Stassi. NO KRISTEN! NO! And Kristen and Scheanna break up.