Hey, did you notice no Nene on tonight’s RHOA? It was awesome. Sadly there was too much Porsha. Anyway. I’m trying to get this up quickly but I’m already 20 minutes behind somehow. So I’m going to do this as fast as I can with little regard for typos.
First, Nene’s look is bad but it looks great compared to Tracee’s odd fashion choice that is somehow a mixture of a jump suit and hot pants in the dead of winter in NYC. I love Tracee but this is a fashion fail. Why is Andy’s tie always so crooked? Nene’s hair is hideous again. But at least it sort of looks like hair. The bartender is a Diana Ross drag queen.
Andy asked Nene what she knows about Mr. Chocolate. She says she likes the name but she has no idea if Phaedra is having an affair or not. She moves on to make it all about herself. She says she has been through a “public breakup” before and it’s really hard. Of course hers was all bullshit just to get a Wedding By Bravo. But is was still tough faking it. Or something. Nene says that Phaedra does have a girlfriend named White Chocolate. So is she trying to say she calls her girlfriend Daddy and asks her to spank her? WTF are the talking about? And Nene’s face looks weird. I can’t figure out what is different. Is it just the wider hair? Nene says that White Chocolate used to be a stripper and she is best friends with Phaedra and she’s married now and just threw her a baby shower. None of this makes any sense. Why is she telling us this? Andy says it is easy to fake texts from someone. Is it?
Andy claims to love Nene’s hair. She walked in a benefit for Naomi Campbell in NYC and apparently walked out with the wig. That explains the improvement. #BitchStoleMyHair !
Andy acts like he believes the scene is real. I suppose he has to pretend. They play a clip from next week when Cynthia and Kenya confront Phaedra about Mr. Chocolate. Porsha is right there sticking up for Phaedra. Because, Porsha.
Where to all of the RHOA keep finding rich Africans? Nene says if there were that many around Atlanta we all would have one. Um, there are a hell of a lot of rich Nigerians in Atlanta. Trust me. I’ve been to some Nigerian events. There are enough for anyone who wants one. Gregg texted Nene later and asked if she wanted an African too. She responded, “No hunni, I only want you!”
Why did you insult Kim for dating a married man and compliment Porsha for doing the same thing? Nene says she never did compliment Porsha for dating a married man. She did say that if she is going to date a married man. That is how to do it. There are many women who date married men who get nothing but a missing clitoris. At least Porsha was able to get a car and handbags. If you are going to turn a trick. That is the way to turn one. Oh, Okay. I see the difference there. Oh wait. No I don’t.
Which do you think will be released first? She by Sheree or Life Twirls On? Nene just gives a look and says nothing.
What did you think about the honorary housewife, Peter going back to tell Cynthia about the drama between Apollo and Phaedra? Seriously? Like any husband would not tell his wife about a conversation he had with one of their castmates on film? It’s not big bro code secret! Nene says ” Hunni! I love that you gave the honorary housewife Hunni Yaass!. Well you know we do have guys in Atlanta that gossip as well so I’m not surprised. ”
Nene, no shade but are you at all intimidated by Claudia? Please don’t ask me about that. I mean really? The question is way too dumb. Goodbye.
Mazel of the Day goes to all the Memes about Nene’s Ramen Noodle wig! #ShadebyAndy Nene says, ” Oh honey, don’t bring me on this show and try to bring up that person’s name chile. Honey I am fabulous (is she quoting Kenya AGAIN with the I am fabulous stuff?) in every way. You can put noodles everywhere. I am comfortable in the skin I’m in. You will not be able to bring me on this show and slay me hunni, you will get slayed. ” Oooh another dig at Andy? Wow. Andy says there is a look coming up in three weeks with Nene Leakes sitting in Phaedra’s kitchen that is going to break the Internet. He doesn’t say if it is a good or bad look. Heh. Andy is so shady.
Poll Question: Is Phaedra better off without Apollo? Yes, 76%