It’s time for more RHOBH! Are you ready? I’m not. So this recap will likely be later than usual. Still setting up. Is that a new opening ? Has Eileen’s always been in an blue evening gown with her hair up? What are they trying to do to her? Are all of those evening gown things new? I normally zip through but tonight I was uploading pictures.
We are back at the gay mixer. Which reminds me I so wanted to do a post in favor of the whole “my gays” thing but I’ve been busy and hormonal. It could still happen. I think the new younger politically correct gays are being ridiculous.* (* except for @NewJerzeyBoy who I love despite his PCness on this issue.)
Anyway. I hate when Kyle gets all up in her whining crying voice as much as the next person but I think she is being genuine in those moments. Kim’s talking heads on the other hand are such a put on. Kim is crying in one corner. and Kyle in the other. Brandi and her gay roommate finally get the hint and take Kim out of there.
Kim is clearly on something again and Brandi is clearly enabling. We don’t need to keep pointing this out.
Kyle is crying to Lisa and says that Brandi is always spewing wrong information. Vanderpump, in an attempt to commiserate says, ” Now you know how I felt last season.” and Kyle misplaces her anger onto Lisa and yells “This is not about you!” Oh Kyle, people can agree and share a similar sentiment and experience and that does not mean they are making it about themselves. It’s called sharing a similar experience. Lisa is trying to console Kyle despite the misplaced anger. Bravo production decides to play the creepy sepia (ish) scenes with Kim and Kyle at Kim’s house. Why do they waste so much time reshowing footage like it’s a daytime soap?
Kim, Brandi and the dude, don’t really leave. They sit outside and film some more.
Lisa says that everyone is enabling an addict. Kim has everyone scared and no one wants to deal with it.
Why are Kyle and Lisa promoting 50 Shades of Gray? I mean I get it’s money but I guess the movie thinks RHOBH viewers are their target demo. What about Kandi Burruss? LOL. More presales have happened in the south than anywhere else. The most is in Mississippi where sex toys are banned. Or is that Alabama. Anyway, southerners are kinky. I’m just saying. I think the BH crowd would be worried about getting their hair mussed or having to cover a mark or 12 . /innocent look
Who is Brandi sucking off? What? I’m just saying. Her life is certainly not interesting enough for one ghostwritten book let alone two. I’m not sure how much money a podcast makes… but she did have Larry King on recently. I hope that wasn’t the suckee.. Just saying. Something is “fishy” pun intended with her whole situation. She has some good PR people that is for damn sure.
OMG she has Heather McDonald from Chelsea Lately. Chelsea hates Brandi so either this will go very badly or Heather is desperate now that Chelsea no longer has a show. Brandi has said many times she wants to be the new Chelsea Handler. She has
sucked off made out with Chelsea’s brother in an attempt to get close to Chelsea, ALLEGEDLY. ACCORDING TO TABLOIDS I HAVE READ. THIS MAY NOT BE TRUE.
Time for Yolanda to try to have an intervention with Brandi. I mean a yoga session. With a really hot black male yogi. I’m going to skip over the comment where Brandi says they will both suck together. Okay, I’m not. That was intentional and real, not drunk (perhaps) Brandi. Ooh child’s pose. My favorite. Brandi has weak ankles and can’t hit any other pose steadily. I can relate. But I used to really love yoga until I ballooned up and now I can’t find my balance anymore. 🙁
After the yogi leaves, Yolanda starts to try to tell Brandi she has a problem. In her talking head, Brandi says that all of this talk about her drinking too much just makes her want to drink more. Because she has the mentality of a 14 year old girl. Sadly she is FORTY TWO. There are maybe 3 more stops on the train before menopause. When is she going to grow up?
Yolanda says that she is hurt that everyone says that Brandi is an alcoholic. She pauses and says if she is, she will gladly help her. Brandi says “If I was, there is no shame in my game, I would seek help.” It’s that whole, “No shame” part that makes it clear she has an issue. What she needs is some shame. Or more directly some guilt. But that would require introspection. Yolanda says if that is her problem she can come to her for help. Brandi uses the same excuse she has for seasons….” If that were my problem I would not be able to get up and get the boys to school.” She should be very careful about what she says because if the boys have a history of missing school or being late? This is totally ammo for Eddie and Leann to yank those boys out of her house.
After Brandi says she could not have a successful podcast, book deal, show up for the filmings etc if she were an alcoholic. Yolanda says, but you could also make the choice not to drink to the point where you become an asshole. Yolanda says she is raising daughters. She can’t be a hypocrite. Brandi says well people say that about your daughter and she is not an alcoholic. Yolanda says, “Who said that about my daughter?” Real answer? No one. Brandi’s answer? She shrugs and says, “People have been saying that lately. She’s not she made a mistake.” Yolanda says she has not heard anyone say that about her daughter. Dear god there is still half an hour of this show.
Yolanda says, “Here we go. You are now personally attacking me about my daughter when I am just trying to help you.” Ah, Yolanda may be seeing the light.
In the previews or rewind for last week maybe, I heard Max say “I just want to know what generation American I am.” Um, so if you adopt an American baby… Nevermind. Let me not go there. Vanderpump already has me blocked on the twatter for posting about her court cases in accurate detail. I like Lisa Vanderpump. I just have to be objective when it comes to legal cases.
Lisa and Pandora are shopping for something related to their Sangria launch. She brings up Max’s desire to explore his roots. I think Pandy’s comments are juvenile. They both cry. Why? He just wants to know his heritage. I can’t really relate to this storyline.
Max and Lisa talk about him seeing his real name. They are going over his heritage. It’s Scandinavian and Irish. Max says he has no need to meet his parents. He’s rich now.
The ladies go to the Burbank Film Festival with Eileen (no addicts invited, and Yolanda is away). Eileen has had two sister that passed away recently. I’d find out why but I am way behind on recapping. Maybe later. In the filmed scene which could have been a refilm, they point out that both Brandi and Kim are addicts.
All the while, Kyle seems butt hurt that Eileen is at the Burbank Film Festival and doing an interview on what Eileen herself has called a bath mat (with a step and repeat). I find it tacky that Kyle can’t be happy for Eileen. I don’t care if it is on par with the opening of a Burger King. If you job is to be there and support your on camera friend, why be so nasty and so rude? The director of the festival doesn’t even know what soap she was won an Emmy for. IT WAS DAYS OF OUR LIVES, BITCHES! Not Y&R. Because DOOL is the best soap on TV. I say that despite having a relative who was a big star on Y&R I think. Anyway, something for another day. The Lisas and Kyle can’t seem to get behind an Indie film sort of event in a shopping mall. #eyeroll. I tell you what. I bought the winning PowerBall
Oh dear God. Eileen! We shan’t talk about this movie ever again. Let’s pretend this never happened.
Later, Eileen meets with Kyle And Kim to share about the lost of her sister. She is hoping her story can bring Kyle and Kim together. Eileen says she had four sisters. One died five years ago, and one died four months ago. So she is extremely emotional about sister relationships. Her oldest sister died of a heart attack unexpectedly. The more recent death was from complications from breast cancer. Eileen is really still dealing with it all. She is hoping to bring the two sisters together. Kim acknowledges that Kyle has been there for her despite what Brandi said, but there were still moments she was not there and she is still holding on to that. Kyle says she feels the same way..progress?
Kim then goes on to defend Brandi. I just can’t. Kyle tries to tell her that Brandi brings up her private conversations to everyone. But she is not listening. Kyle is concerned that Kim has shared too much with Brandi and it will come to harm her in the end. Kim looks high in her talking heads where she claims that Kyle is “a little mixed up.” This whole thing is sad. Kim is doing some REALLY bad acting here about how difficult it was for her to call Brandi and share information. The cry talking comes into play. Kyle says Brandi says horrible things to her right in front of Kim like the comment about Mauricio not wanting her. Kim claims she didn’t hear that. Kyle says that is a convenient excuse.
Fighting. I am so behind I can’t recap this. Nothing is resolved and Eileen feels helpless.
She had the :40 with her trying to deal with her teenaged daughter. I love her. Clearly the “normal” stuff is sacrificed for the drama. 🙁
Lisa and Brandi meet for lunch or something in clashing leopard prints. Lisa apparently did one of Brandi’s podcasts so Brandi feels comfortable. Lisa wants to know why Brandi is so mean. What is her core issue? Why is she an addict is basically what she is asking.
Brandi says that Kim has told her she is her best friend. It’s hard for her because she is not a sober companion, and she just has to do her. Lisa points out that Kim is high. Brandi says she just had a hernia and she is just doing the patch. When I paused to type this Brandi is showing all of the physical cues of someone lying.
Lisa points out that Kim is using. Brandi is enabling. Brandi thinks she is protecting her. Brandi knows that Kim is high. Brandi thinks that if she mentions that Kim is high, Kim would die. Brandi wants Lisa Rinna to talk to Kyle about it.
Next week: There is some sort of surprise party for Vanderpump. Kyle and Kim seem to be fine and running lines together. Oh wait they are in puppet therapy together. Or something. Brandi talks to her *cough* BFF about feeling like she might not need to drink in front of Kim #eyeroll. and the Lisas talk about a possible intervention with Kim but Vanderpump is reluctant.