Dance Moms Recap: Hell No To the Jo Jo!

We start  Dance Moms with some sad news. Nia’s grandfather is very ill. She is very concerned about leaving Pittsburgh because he could die while she is gone. Abby was very sweet to Nia. Shocking but true.

This week, Jo Jo with the Bow Bow is back. Abby is pissed as all Billy Hell that ALDC came in second in the group dance. Holly tries to tell Abby how to prioritize her tasks. Because, apparently Holly has lost her ever-loving mind this season.  Actually, the tea I heard was that Holly was asked to resign from her school district because the show reflected poorly on the system. Now she can afford to go full throttle. This may be the real Holly.

On to the pyramid. Nia is on the very bottom of the pyramid because she was the leader of the group dance that came in at first loser. For this she must be punished. However, last week when Maddie came in second over all for her solo, Abby told her it was good for her to lose sometimes because it is motivating. No difference in treatment there. Actually, Nia did a great job in the group dance. Next is Kendall. Bad feet.  Next is Kalani. Abby says she stood out in the group number but did encourage everyone else to rise to her level. Next is Maddie WHO WAS NOT THERE AT ALL!  Yet,  Abby still places her above three other dancers. Next is Jo Jo! Above Maddie! Jo Jo’s mom immediately asks if they are going to LA with Abby. Abby stutters out, “Not…right now.” Then some bitchfest breaks out between the moms and Kalani’s mom starts talking about Jo Jo calling up clothing companies saying she was going to be on ALDC and needed free stuff and they sent it to her and she bragged about it. What’s the problem with that again? She’s 11. I doubt she is picking up the phone, her mother is doing it. And Kalani’s  mom is mocking Jo Jo’s speech impediment saying, “I got this for fwee! I got that for fwee!”  That’s just crappy. Almost as crappy as Jo Jo’s mom not getting her to a speech therapist so she can pronounce “crappy.” Mackenzie is at the top for winning her division with her solo.

Kendall gets a solo called “Clueless” Maddie gets a solo called “She’s History” The third solo goes to JoJo  called “Fashion Victim.”  The group routine is called “Frozen Together.”

During practice,  JoJo’s mom is pissed about Kira mocking Jo Jo’s speech impediment. Holly doesn’t even stick up for Jo Jo. I can’t believe none of the real moms are going to tell Kira she crossed the line. I am not sure how I feel about Jessalynn painting peroxide all over Jo Jo’s head.

Jo Jo struggles with the group dance. When Abby calls her Miss USO for her patriotic ensemble and asks if she is wearing a costume, Jo Jo replies with a wicked smile and says, “Do you want to see a costume?” Heh. So Abby is pissed and sends her off to mommy threatening to cut her from the dance. Jo Jo reports to her mommy in tears and says that the steps Abby said she was late on, she was not late on.  Anyone with eyes could see that Jo Jo was VERY late in several places. Jessalynn is shocked that her baby would be removed from the group dance.

Abby informs the mothers that everything their kid does in LA must be run through her first. Then Jessalynn, who is not guaranteed anything argues with Abby about Jo Jo being a beat (more like three) behind in the group routine.

I hate that Nia is on camera with her grandfather (and father). Some things should be private.

At the competition, Nia gets and encouraging call from  grandpa and Abby gets a text that pisses her off. She says she is never coming to this event again. Well, no you are not, you are moving to LA.  Apparently the age groups are different. Kendall and Maddie are in the teen division in this competition, even though they are only 12. And the group dance is a teen dance.

Jo Jo asks Gia if she knows the order of the solos.  Abby loses her shit on Jo Jo and tells her she must say excuse me when two adults are talking. Only Abby wasn’t really talking to Gia at that moment. Abby was fuming with steam coming off her fat head. Even, Kira said Abby was out of line.

Maddie does her dance and I literally tuned out. I’m sure it was fine. I am not going to rewind to be sure.  Maddie was supposed to be Norma Desmond as if she knows who that is.  Meanwhile, Kendall’s “Clueless” inspired dance was much more age appropriate. I preferred Kendall’s but Maddie’s likely had the higher level of difficulty.

Jo Jo was young enough to stay in the Junior category so she could win her division. She had an outrageous costume and choreography that played into her strengths (acro, attitude) and all that sass distracts from her weaker technique. I hope the little smart mouth pulls it off. She’s starting to grow on me.

Right before the group dance, Jessalynn suggests that Abby pull an older dancer and replace her with Jo Jo and that would put the group back in the junior division. The other moms look appalled. Abby asks, by older teen, do you mean Nia?  Jessalynn says she is just trying to get the dance back into the Junior Division. Holly’s head starts to explode. The costumes and make-up for the group dance are very elaborate. Nia is already in full costume with face makeup that consists of snow covering half her face that looks like it took hours to apply. Abby’s wheels are turning.

The only person more shocked than me that Abby didn’t pull Nia from the group dance and throw in Nia is me.  The dance goes off great. Nia in particular stood out. There were actually snow machines. It was a big ass production.

Jo Jo comes in third in her solo division. It looked like a boy won. Maybe Maddie was moved to teen for a reason. Boys tend to get extra points for novelty or something at these competitions. I don’t believe for a minute Abby didn’t know the age groups before coming to the competition.  Kendall gets third in the teen division. Maddie gets first. The announce said first overall so that may mean there is a bigger gap between Kendall’s third and Maddie’s first than we think.  The group dance comes in second. Again. The moms are feeling nervous and discouraged about LA.

Before the girls get back, Abby tells the moms that Maddie has already booked a show in LA  called “Austin and Ally.”  It looks like she has a guest role on the Disney program for one episode. She also had a spread in Elle magazine and she is filming something for Sony. Abby only mentions the Disney show.  Jill and Holly are concerned that Maddie is the only one Abby is offering up to casting directors. Abby says they call specifically for Maddie.

Abby says in an audition, there is no second place. You get the job or you don’t. Jessalynn asks where this leaves Jo Jo. Abby says she doesn’t need another third place dancer. She has enough of those. Abby says she is not taking Jo Jo as part of her dance competition team. She will represent Jo Jo but she has to get her kid out there and give her a call.

Nia’s grandfather died in December.

Next Week: Abby seems to be in over her head in LA.