YAY! Let’s get this party started! It’s time for my weekly dose of Kristen Doute! OMG! We start right away with AnneMarie (Miami Girl) meeting up with Kristen! Kristen orders a bottle of wine and gets AnneMarie to spill the entire story for the cameras. AM was hanging out at the pool at the Mondrian and Jax was there talking about himself. Because, Jax. AM said all the guys said they were single. Tom took a liking to her and was very sweet, holding her hand, etc. They talked for hours. AM tells Kristen she still thinks that Tom is in love with Kristen. He talked about her a lot and how he cheated on her. Oh this is going to send Kristen straight to 5 alarm crazy with no stops along the way. YES! Kristen starts crying. Kristen sees an opportunity to get Tom back. AM tells Kristen to go there and confront him. It’s going to GO DOWN at SUR tonight!
Schwartz says he was premed in college and his parents were not thrilled her ran off to Hollywood to pursue a modeling and acting career. Katie and Schwartz rehash the breakup with Stassi. Katie is still hoping for a reconciliation with Stassi. No Katie, just no.
Kristen and her friend Rachel go to SUR to party. And stir up trouble. AnneMarie shows up to confront Tom and he is freaking out. He leaves the bar and has someone else take over the bar. Tom completely flees the bar. Tom is calling AM a crazy, stalking, psycho in his talking heads. Ariana also flees her job and they both get in an Uber. Oh, Lisa is going to love having two staff members bail on their shift.
Scheana is finally pissed at Kristen. She says she is trying to ruin her best friend’s life the week before her wedding. It’s all about Scheana. Scheana and Kristen get into a huge screaming match in the middle of a packed SUR. AnneMarie can’t even get her story out. Kristen is drunk and full on crazy. It’s a shit show! Scheana is furious that Kristen didn’t tell her AnneMarie was coming. Um, and spoil this delicious surprise?
The manager, Diana tries to throw out Kristen, Rachel and AnneMarie. Kristen screams at Diana to fuck off and leave her alone. She tells the manager she does not own the restaurant and to get out of the face.
Jax and Schwartz go out on a date. They talk about needing a chaperone before the topic moves on to girls. Jax wants Carmen back as his girlfriend. He plans to be with her at the wedding and take her on a shopping trip to try to win her back. Jax has to hang out with Kristen and James because Kristen is friends with Carmen.
When Lisa and Todd show up to SUR, Diana rats out Kristen for her disrespectful behavior. Even though Lisa is told that Scheana was in the bitchfest too, she immediately does not believe her favorite, Scheana has anything to do with the fight. Scheana comes out and apologizes. Then she explains the situation with AnneMarie. Lisa is acting like she wants to fire Kristen. We know that can’t happen. She is the star! Lisa calls Tom and Ariana and tells them to get their asses back to work! Lisa and Todd go on to dinner elsewhere leaving Peter in charge.
Almost immediately, AnneMarie is back at the bar with Tom. AM claims Tom lied to her about having a girlfriend. AM is mad that Sandoval is denying they had sex. She says Jax is going to admit to everyone that it happened. Tom says Jax was fucking your friend on the beach. The two go back and forth over whether not they had sex. Ariana comes out and tells AnneMarie that she is not to tell her boyfriend to shut the fuck up. Finally, all parties involved are present. Ariana goes to get security who comes to throw AnneMarie out. But not before AM tells Ariana that she can describe his dick, it’s four and a half inches and he shaves everything. Really? Did she bring a ruler? Tom and Ariana do this crazy high five behind the bar because AM is giving him an extra half an inch of cock length. That was crazier than anything Kristen has ever done. AM and Tom make out behind the bar.
Jax and Carmen meet for drinks with Kristen and James. Why? What is sweet normal Carmen doing with these nutballs? I thought she told Jax she did not want to see him anymore. Period. Scheana now doesn’t want Kristen to come to her wedding.
Lisa talks with Tom about leaving his shift. Finally, someone is holding Tom accountable for all of this mess. Its his four inch dick that is causing all of these problems. He should not run off like a “fat girl’s blouse” (what does that even mean, Lisa?) he should have called security and handled the problem and continued on with his job. Lisa doesn’t believe the girl would fly to LA if nothing had happened. Tom says he is afraid of AnneMarie.
Lisa asks Ariana how she knows that AnneMarie is lying and not Tom. Ariana just basically believes whatever Tom says. Lisa asks if she can work with Kristen again. She says she wants Kristen to move back to Michigan because she is a full on bunny boiler psycho. Which is exactly why she is not going anywhere. What would this show be without Kristen?
Scheana is recording a new song with James and Kristen is there. Kristen and Scheana talk and Kristen want to know why she is acting like she doesn’t want her at her wedding. She is worried that Kristen will get drunk and confront Tom at her wedding. However, disinviting her would cause so many ripples that she can’t be bothered to do it. Kristen will be at the wedding. And shit will go down.
Next Week: Kristen sees some texts on Jax’ phone that seem to provide proof that Schwartz cheated on Katie when they were in Vegas. The cheating never ends with this bunch! Next week. Lisa gives Kristen a stern talking to. Heh.