We begin with the physical altercation between Brandi and Kyle in which a perfectly good piece of pizza was thrown to the ground. Kim recognizes the severity of the issue when she asks what happened to her slice and Brandi nonchalantly admits to throwing it on the ground. Kyle and Kim have a discussion in high pitched crying voices that makes zero sense. The two new girls creep around trying to listen outside the line of fire. Brandi, realizing that she is not on camera once again tries to insert herself into a conversation between the two sisters. Lisa tries to get Brandi away from them and Kim’s cheese slides even further off her cracker. She is now accusing Lisa of saying something to Kyle about the car ride from hell.
Brandi grabs Kyle by the wrists and yells at her. I would have punched her right then and there. BAM! Right in the kisser. Brandi continues to scream at Kyle saying she does nothing for her sister and is never there for her. Vince is hilariously peeping through the garage door window. Brandi gives talking heads where she says Kyle is a worthless sister. Brandi whines about a scratch on her arm. She says it is swelling and she is going to kill Kyle. Eileen says, “How about a little Neosporin? Get a grip!” I love Eileen.
Lisa rides home with Kyle who is still crying. Kim seems to want to leave with Kyle but Brandi is literally holding her back and telling her Kyle is a bad person. What a fucking loser Brandi is.
The two addicts leave together. Brandi tells Kim she is not making sense. Lisa tells Kyle that Brandi needs rehab. Kim has no idea where she is or what just happened. It’s all very sad.
Eileen and Vince drink some wine after everyone left. Eileen has sisters and she has been in fights with her sisters before but not as grown ass women. Vince is flabbergasted.
Yo looks beautiful. She calls Bella so that Bella can mention she is going out with Tallulah and Demi later.
We have a rare on camera appearance by Yolanda’s son, Anwar. He sure does come from the same stunning gene pool as the rest of her kids. He seems like a good kid.
Lisa is back from vacation. Lisa gets another dog. I think that makes 6.
Eileen tries to make it past Lisa’s guard swans to pay a visit. She fills Lisa in on Kim’s condition at her party in the nicest possible way. Eileen says she doesn’t know Kim well enough to make a judgement. Eileen tells Lisa that Brandi insulted her home and she is confused. She doesn’t understand the source of Brandi’s attacks on her.
Eileen gets her first peek at Lisa’s closet and has the expected response.
Brandi’s friend Jen. She admits that Kim has fallen off the wagon. Kim’s face is hugely injected in the scene, and not as much in her talking heads. Jen tries to suggest that Brandi work things out with Kyle but it goes right over Brandi’s airhead.
Kyle tells Mauricio Kim is in the hospital. She is not sure why. She says that Monty called and says he took her to Cedar-Sinai. Wait, Monty took Kim to the hospital? Was there no actual caregiver in place for him that could have called someone? Supposedly she was in a lot of pain. They think she may have an ulcer. Kyle is still not acknowledging that Kim relapsed.
Kyle is rushing to get ready for Lisa’s event. Yolanda shows up to go with her. Kyle tells Yo about Brandi’s behavior. Yolanda is wearing a strapless top with a sweater tied around her neck. I don’t get this look. Yo talks about adult women drinking and brawling and how grown women with children should not do such things. Well, Yo, she’s your friend.
Kyle calls Lisa who is at her beautiful house. I love her patio with all the plants and comfy outdoor furniture. Everyone is supposed to be at Lisa’s charity event together soon.
Lisa is getting her jewelry party for Breast Cancer ready. She’s wearing a shirt that says, “I told my therapist about you!” I want that shirt.
I just love Lisa’s home. And Lisa. She is so beautiful. Brandi arrives first wearing some sort of bizarre denim shirt dress that makes her look pregnant and cowboy boots. She says she has back to school night with the boys and this is her appropriate attire. Lisa seems confused as to why she thinks it is appropriate. Brandi says it is appropriate for her school, because her kids are in public school. Yo and Kyle arrive and Kyle skirts around Brandi and busies herself with the jewelry. Denise Richards comes to the party. Lisa and Eileen arrive together.
Kyle still is not saying what is going on with Kim. Very vague answers.
Yolanda asks Brandi what happened at Eileen’s party. Yolanda asks if she was drinking. Brandi says of course she was, it was a party! Yolanda says she is not allowed to get drunk. Brandi says she can do whatever the fuck she wants and she is not in the mood for a lecture. Oh my, Brandi. You are really going to cut off Yolanda who has stuck by you throughout your disgusting behavior? You’re going to tie yourself to Kim Richards this season instead? In Yolanda’s talking head she says if Brandi thinks she is mothering her maybe she should act like an adult and not a child. It seem Yolanda is finally seeing the light.
Kyle says something about doing a gay mixer. The invite says bring your tops and bottoms. Poor Lisa must not have a gay best friend. I hope she finds one immediately. She has no idea what that means. Lisa is adorable and self-depreciating in her talking head. She claims she does have gay people in her life. But I’m not convinced.
Lisa Vanderpump asks Denise Richards if she was married to Charlie Sheen. Lisa is somehow trying to bond with Denise because Denise fosters a lot of dogs. Denise would make a great housewife. Lisa says that both her car and Charlie’s were stolen and driven off a cliff. Weird party chatter to be sure.
The party is a success. Apparently it is not all costume as Kyle is asking about rose gold versus yellow gold. The designer suggests rose. I say yellow.
Eileen seeks out Brandi and Yolanda is there. Eileen confronts Brandi over the comments about her house and asks what is up with her rude behavior. As soon as Yolanda hears that she excuses herself from the conversation. Eileen said she let it go but Brandi was very loud and there was a lot of cussing and her son was upstairs and it was kind of disrespectful. Brandi in her I Dream of Genie talking head, says the word fuck eleventy billion times and says she should have had a nanny take the kid out of the house. Eileen asks if there was a reason she seems to be so antagonistic toward her. Brandi says she likes Eileen and she apologizes if she offended her. Brandi says she is not a mean girl. She apologizes again if she offended her. Eileen says in her talking head that Brandi is attracted to chaos.
Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump make a plan to for a drink at Villa Blanca afterward. Brandi leaves to go to her school function.
At Villa Blanca Kyle tells Lisa what is going on with Brandi. Kyle says she is done with her and she does not trust her. Lisa commiserates with Kyle and says she does not trust her either. Brandi is not happy unless she is provoking someone. Kyle does not want to forgive Kyle. Lisa is worried about Kim getting hurt.
Next Week: The Kim drama continues. Kim says she doesn’t remember much about the party. Kyle seems not to know why. Is Kyle really that much in denial? Brandi is all too happy to fill Kim in with her version. In other news, Lisa’s adopted son Max wants to know his name from before he was adopted and Lisa will not tell him. She does not want him searching for his bio family. Wow. That’s a very personal thing for reality TV. Kyle prepares for her Hollywood gay mixer. One of her gay friends bemoans the lack of tops in West Hollywood. They should import from Atlanta. We have plenty. Brandi shows up at Kyle’s party uninvited and threatens to knock Kyle’s teeth out. Kyle tells Brandi she is not wanted. Brandi says neither is she, she should ask her husband. #Burn Then Kyle and Kim have another crying fight and Kyle give Kim the DOUBLE bird and screams fuck you! After asking is she is going to let Brandi come between them.
Side Note: I will recap WWHL with Eileen tomorrow. It’s been a long day of Jodi Arias trial posts and I will do a better job fresh tomorrow.