It’s time for another episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which once again will include a lot of Brandi behaving badly.
Lisa is going to go to lunch with Brandi and hear her out. Brandi thinks she has is owed an apology. For what? I don’t understand what Lisa did to her? Lisa says that Ken is very hurt by Brandi’s backstabbing. Brandi thinks she and Lisa have a similar personality. Lisa disagrees.
Lisa wants to know what Brandi wants an apology for. Brandi says “the Scheana stuff.” Lisa apologizes for not giving Brandi a heads up that Scheana was going to be at some filming they did. Brandi apologized for repeating gossip that she heard. Brandi says I was an asshole to you but you started it. Lisa says she can’t be the friend that Brandi wants. They agree to be cordial. Lisa makes Brandi pay for lunch. Only they don’t ever have to pay for lunch.
Bella has a photo shoot. But don’t worry, Yolanda punished her by taking her phone away for three weeks. She’s also buying her an apartment in NYC. Bella is 17.
Lisa, Yolanda, Eileen and Brandi all go out to a lovely oceanfront restaurant. Yolanda is throwing a party the next day. Brandi talks about her lunch with Vanderpump.
The topic turns to their husbands. Brandi brings up that Eileen and Vince were both married when we met. Eileen talks about how hard it was for everyone. She says they were both honest with their spouses when their feelings developed. I Eileen says that she has a lot of compassion for Brandi because Eddie was not upfront with her and she was so blindsided. Brandi is gulping wine. Brandi asks if she is friends with Vince’s ex-wife and she says yes. Everything seems to be going fine with this conversation.
Brandi changes the conversation to Days of Our Lives storyline. Eileen plays a very evil villain on that show. She is not on at the moment but she will be coming back in the spring carrying the baby of her ex-boyfriend that she had evil doctors extract from her ex-boyfriend’s knocked up fling. It’s delicious. They all try to force Eileen to act like Kristen, her evil DOOL character. She really doesn’t want to. They are insistent. Eileen jokes she needs money and a script. Lisa and Brandi both throw money at her. Eileen says, “I can’t do it. What am I a trained circus seal?” Brandi says, “I am going to throw a drink on you in one second.” She says it again. Then she tosses wine right in Eileen’s face.
Lisa is appalled. She says she would have gone across the table at Brandi and been in a cop car. Everyone at the table except Brandi is horrified. Eileen is in tears and humiliated. Yolanda admonishes Brandi. That pretty much ends the outing and everyone leaves in a bad place
Alexia is going off to college and Kyle is helping her pack. She’s also teaching her how to do laundry. Kyle cries and tells Alexia if she doesn’t like it at her college she can come home and go to school locally. My parents used to tell me I could come home at any time until the died/went into assisted living.
Yolanda hires someone to cater her party. You know what I do when I am very ill? I though parties and film for long hours on my reality TV show. Oh wait, no I don’t. Before the party Eileen talks to Vince about the incident with Brandi. Eileen didn’t sleep well after that happened and is self-conscious that she looks tired. She looks amazing. Vince asks if she’d like a glass of wine and she says she thinks she will avoid wine for a while. Vince says Brandi is psycho. Yolanda is worried about Brandi’s behavior at her party. David is there and so is Babyface so we can expect to be blessed by their talents.
Yolanda tells Kyle that Brandi threw wine in Eileen’s face. David and Vince seem to hit it off. Ken was unavailable to attend. Eileen told Vanderpump about Brandi tossing wine in her face. Brandi comes to the party looking like a hooker with her dress up to her butthole. Eileen is freaked out by Brandi. She feels like Brandi is sort of a stalkerish fan.
Rinna meets Yo’s refrigerator. It really is amazing.
Brandi tries to talk to Eileen who asks if she left the weirdo superfan at home. Then Brandi, who appears to be wearing a bump-it, says yes and immediately goes into a spiel about what a fan she is. Rinna says it is the weirdest thing she has ever witnessed. Brandi calls Eileen to the side and sort of apologizes and gives her a necklace. Brandi says she was drunk and a bit fangirled out. Eileen accepts her apology with grace.
Dinner is fabulous. Yolanda makes a toast to David, to Eileen for her Emmy and then toasts to Lisa for her new restaurant and then says , “Next time invite us.” Vanderpump thinks that Yolanda should be able to figure out why she wasn’t invited after the way she treated Ken. Vanderpump has clearly not forgiven that.
At dinner, Brandi is drunk again despite the most elaborate menu of beautiful food, she’s apparently drinking dinner. David Foster calls her out for flirting with BabyFace right in front of his wife. Brandi says his wife is very lovely, and asks to see “the ring” and then says, to BabyFace, who she met five minutes ago, “I do think we could go bigger.” Babyface point out it is not about the size, it’s about the love. Brandi just keeps digging a bigger hole. She is apparently still wearing the rock Eddie bought her. Why hasn’t she hocked that for money for a damn house?
Dessert is fancypants s’mores around the fire pit. Brandi is drunk and fangirling out over Lisa Rinna and Eileen about DOOL again. Its all very cringeworthy. They kindly dismiss her and she sits on David’s lap and screams at Yolanda’s “I’m sitting on David’s lap!” David pleads with Yolanda to deal with her. Lisa Rinna and Eileen sneak off to discuss the fact that Brandi is not all there. They both find Brandi pathetic and neurotic and they pity her. It’s sad.
It’s time for the David Foster concert. He is going to write a song on the spot based on the title that someone throws out. He says, “Give me a title, anybody?” Kyle says, “I love my life.” David tells Babyface to do a ballad with that title. And Brandi says, ” Why don’t you do it like this, like you are finger banging your wife?” and makes a hand motion meant to demonstrate finger banging. In Rinna’s talking head she says, “If that is not white trash, I don’t know what is.” Brandi requests that the word finger banging be including. Babyface actually puts it in there. I am shocked Yolanda didn’t have Brandi escorted off the premises. Perhaps her driver was not out there yet. Brandi is just annoying to watch.
Next week, Eileen, Yolanda and Kyle all send a kid to college.