Brandi snuck a RHOBH blog in on me the other day that I’m just now reading. She tries to explain why she said what she said to Lisa. It makes sense to me in a way. I totally understand cracking jokes when you are nervous. What I don’t understand is why in the moment where her brain tries to find a joke to throw out there on national television, her pea brain goes there. But it did. I don’t think this is really as big of a deal as it has been made out to be. Brandi clearly intended to shock, and Lisa’s retelling of the comment was meant to remove the shock value, which it did. And yet, Brandi kind of goes there again in her blog! I think Brandi will continue to escalate the ratchetness throughout the season right up to the point where she slaps Lisa across the face. Lisa Vanderpump probably has the most fans of any housewife. This will not win any of them over to Brandi’s side. Anyway, have a read and let me know what you think.
From Brandi’s Blog:
My housewarming party! I’m so excited to be in our new home after stressfully floating around for the entire summer. I love this house. It’s got a warm happy feel to it. I decided to throw a proper party to celebrate our happy new home. My parents are coming and a few friends. I invited all the ladies, of course, because I didn’t want to leave anyone out. Everybody but Lisa V. and Ken RSVP’d. She told me several times she wouldn’t be coming, so as far as I was concerned, she wasn’t coming, but the show and the party must go on! I have a ton of amazing friends coming to celebrate with me, and my parents are visiting despite my dad’s health problems, so I’m going to throw an amazing party and make the most of a beautiful evening in our new home. I spent the day setting up the house making sure it looked perfect. I ordered flowers, rented furniture, put up lights, and set up a lovely bar. It was perfect. I got ready with a few of my friends and was running 15 minutes late, which I’m almost never late, so I was trying to get my ass in gear.
People were starting to show up. Everyone looked great and seemed to be having fun. Yolanda looked especially amazing, and she is so great with my dad. She has special powers over him. I was catching up with my close friend Leeza Gibbons when Lisa V. and Ken walked in. They said they were not coming more then once, so I’m surprised to see them, but it was a nice surprise. My parents chatted with Lisa V. and Ken, and while they didn’t seem overly excited to be in my home, I can definitely say all my friends see that Lisa and I have a special chemistry but we also clearly have a long way to go if we are going to be friends again. Both Kim and Yolanda gave the sweetest speeches and I know they both truly love me. All in all, it was a fun party and, in my opinion, a success.
Lisa V. invited us all to PUMP, which is gorgeous, for a charity event benefiting foster children. I was happy to go but felt a little uncomfortable every time Lisa V. looked at me. She would just stare and not speak. It made me uncomfortable, and when I’m nervous, I just joke. Cut to the olive branch and the cunnilingous comment. I asked Lisa V. to lunch to speak in a more private environment, and it was like pulling teeth to get an answer, so I was like, what shall I do, Your Highness, so that you grace me with your presence? Eat your pussy? It was a joke, but I am happy to hear that Ken stills goes down under for Her Majesty.
Is Brandi’s next book to be called”Running with Doyen(ne) retractors”?
Does she know how quickly she is going to disappear if she gets fired from the show? Brandi just makes me sad.
Fired housewives rarely disappear, they go on to greater heights appearing on Celebrity apprentice, Couples Therapy, Couples Boot Camp (she has lots of choices to take with her on this one), David Tutera Celebrities and finally last and least millionaire matchmaker. She may even get a solo guest shot on WWHL.
What idiot is posting with the Sequoia nic? Or perhaps Sequoia is having a stroke? “They go on to greater heights, Like a two week gig on Couples Therapy? Seriously? Someone check on Sequoia.
On Sun, Jan 4, 2015 at 3:40 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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It was a joke silly.
WHEW!
You scared me! :)
On Sun, Jan 4, 2015 at 3:47 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Leeza Gibbons is a close personal friend? Who knew! As for as the explanation, Brandi should just quit when she’s ahead. It explained nothing.
I had to shake my head at that one too, Angel(?). Didn’t they meet on Celebrity Apprentice?
I will believe Leeza and Brandi are close personal friends when I see pigs fly.
Because her pea brain is a Scorpio pea brain!!!
Scorpios everywhere are offended– not at your comment, but at lumping us together with Brandi.
I’ve never read one of Brandi’s blogs. It was difficult to follow. Wish she had made a decision about what tense to use and stopped with the bouncing back and forth; repeats in the same paragraph; use of then/than . . . . shit! Brandi irritates me, even when I can’t see her.
But Cyndy! She’s a best selling author! :)
On Sun, Jan 4, 2015 at 3:44 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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I just wish Brandi would STFU. For someone not willing to kiss anyone’s ass, she sure seems to be doing just that. Of course, it’s in her crass, classless way, but it’s killing her that Lisa is shunning her, and that’s VERY obvious by the way she keeps chasing her around, practically begging her to love her again. Girl ought to get some dignity.
What would Brandi do with dignity? She’s not familiar with it in any way. As someone else said,”Sad is what I think when I see a Brandi post.” I so agree.
Wow Tamara is going to be busy! The start of the Brandi/Kenya games along with RHOA tonight. Teresa and Jodi tomorrow!
I thought that too. TT is gonna be typing her fingers to the bone. Thanks TT!
Brandi is so weird…
Brandi is so needy. I wonder how she interacts with her sons?
Well she claims they all still sleep in the same bed!
Redwoods sure do cast some shade. I love botany.
Brandi vs. Kenya – it’s a no brainer → Kenya wins every time. But never in a million years would I ever imagine I’d side with Kate Gosselin (but after watching a preview where Brandi goes up against Kate — looks like I’m going to side with Kate!). Anyone Brandi goes up against — I’m on their team.☺
Brandi is sooooooo bad, i am actually embarassed for her every time she speaks,
She is so trashy & her poor boys….. Having a mother that acts this way in such a public forum. Off topic. ..Brandi has such weird hands to me. I don’t know why but they look older than her face. ..I can’t explain it but they just look like they don’t match the rest of her.
I gave up when she used “then” instead of “than.”
I did make sure to click every link in your blog post though, TT. That’s my way of eating your pussy.
ew.
=/ now I know how brandi feels
This silly ho reeks of desperation.
Some people think Lisa gets away with things she says more because of her accent but I think it’s the opposite. She had every right to be hesitant to go to lunch with Brandi but because she does it with a accent she thinks she is a royal queen? It is one thing to tease people about their accents occasionally and to their faces, but Kim Brandi and Kyle make fun of Lisa to a point where it is very offensive.
Brandi is about as disgusting in her recent blog as she was on television last week. As far as her offering us insight into her words and her actions during last week’s episode, it seems that she more likely attempts to rationalize and make excuses for what she did after the fact.
Yes Brandi . . . . we ALL offer cunnilingus when we’re nervous and thrown into uncomfortable situations!
Canape?
Does anyone else wonder about the girls in foster care who aren’t a size 0/2/4? And really, there’s no need for a tea to collect the dresses. Just hate these fake charity events. There are great people out there doing amazing charity work, and maybe some of these housewives are, but showing up to tea with hand me down dresses does not impress me.
I wonder that every year.
On Sun, Jan 4, 2015 at 7:24 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Do you really think those gowns make it to prom? They are probably sold in a consignment shop and the proceeds go to the nearest “food bank”.
Considering we are talking about Brandi, I don’t get the big deal about it. Now me, people know I don’t do derogatory jokes, but I don’t understand why Lisa is so shocked by her ex-bestfriend. Eyeroll
What was the MOST offensive thing ever was Lisa running to a table of women and making it the topic of conversation. Now THAT was offensive and rude. #TeaTimeAppropriate
Lisa diluted Brandi’s attempt to shock everyone.
No, she actually lit the gasoline that Brandi doused on her. Brandi said it to LISA, not everyone else. Brandi’s goal was to shock the audience, not an entire table of women drinking tea.
JaMailMail, you are not alone. I’m 100% there with you. Lisa can talk about her pink dyed pubic hairs, but she has a pearl clutching moment because Brandi jokes about getting a close up view? Pffffttt….
It’s ridiculous. Weren’t we just a few episodes back where Lisa was saying how she loves Shiva because she can exchange dirty nasty jokes with her without people getting offended? My my how we forget how hypocritical these housewives can be from literally episode to episode.
Eight episodes in and we are still waiting for the apologies between Lisa and Brandi. Time to speed things up. It is just no longer enjoyable tuning in to watch Brandi misbehave. Her biggest crime is she isn’t even funny just one sophomoric stunt after another. Gee maybe next week she will pull someone’s pants down.
I agree with one of the other posters…Brandi just makes me sad. I completely rooted for her from day one, and seeing her so pathetically trying so hard to stay on the show I can no longer watch it.
Her excuses are always the same old song and dance with her being the poor wittle clueless, helpless Brandi. She’s gross and predictable. Nothing shocking, just eyeroll inducing.
I really hope this is Brand’s last season. Brandi has jumped the shark.