This week on Vanderpump Rules, all the guys head off to party in San Diego. Who is going to mix the damn cocktails at SUR?
But first, Stassi and two nameless minions lie in wait for Vail. They would like to rope her into their Stassi Butt Sniffing Society, but that’s not the stuff that Vail likes to sniff. Why is Stassi still so involved in the politics of a bar she no longer works at? I mean I get they apparently wanted her on the show, but everything with her is so overtly pointless. We’d be better off without her. Oh it’s Stassi’s birthday. This year no big trip was paid for Bravo and Stassi is stuck with a wine tasting with a bunch of no named waitstaff. One douchebag announces the he and his douchette just got their “second tier wedding invitation” to Scheana’s wedding. Apparently, she did not have enough positive responses to the first wave so she is inviting her less intimate friends now. Vail is mortified by all the shit talking going on at the table. Stassi and Katie were not invited to the wedding. #SourGrapes
Jax’ girlfriend, Tiffany, hooked the boys up with suites and the VIP treatment in San Diego. All the Toms, and Peter join him. Tiffany has already heard about Vail and is not thrilled. Tiffany is an idiot, the only one with any sense is the girl that dumped Jax for dating other people. They are staying at the Hard Rock and the promotion is flagrant so I guess the whole “Tiffany made the trip happen” is bulllshit to explain the suites and all the free booze. They begin the afternoon with a bottle of tequila and a bottle of vodka which they chug straight from the bottle.
Back at SUR, the girls are working a charity event to feed starving children in Africa or something. Scheana tells Katie she can come to Miami with the crew. Katie quickly accepts so she can keep tabs on Schwartz.
Peter flat irons his hair. Every week I find him less and less attractive this season. Sandoval is cockblocking Jax at every opportunity. He claims it is out of respect for Tiffany paying for everything, but we all know he hates when chicks fuck his man. It really hurts his feelers. Jax got shitfaced and apparently brought chicks back to the room and banged them he woke up hungover with no pants or underwear on and no memory of what happened. Sandoval is so pissed at Jax. He plans to rat Jax out to Tiffany.
Back home Katie and the Toms chat and Sandoval tells Katie Jax fucked some THOT in San Diego. Tom Sandoval is just livid that Jax cheated on him. He totally can’t stand it.
Scheana, otherwise know as witness for the defense, is rewarded yet again with a bridal shower at Villa Blanca. Too bad the testimony didn’t sway the judge nor the jury. This must be killing Brandi Glanville. The cake says, “Congratulations, Scheana” which is a wedding etiquette faux pas. One congratulates the groom and offers best wishes or good luck to the bride. Other than that, the event is beautiful. Ariana tells the girls at the bridal shower, and the rumor spreads like wildfire. Kristen is thrilled by the news because she feels like Jax will retaliate against Sandoval and tell everyone who Sandoval banged in Miami. This episode needs more Kristen Doute.
Jax and the Toms go out for tacos and Jax lies his ass off. He also claims he told Tiffany the girl came up to the room. Jax said that Tiffany is fine with it. Both Toms know Jax is lying. As soon at Jax gets to his car, he calls Tiffany and gives her the cover story. Tiffany is pissed and hangs up on Jax.
Stassi goes to meet Scheana so she can invite her to Miami. Stassi is insulting Scheana in her talking heads interspersed with being a condescending bitch to her at their meeting. Scheana gets the last laugh by letting her know Katie is coming to Miami with her. Stassi’s head might explode. She may just slit Katie’s throat.
There was not much Vanderpump on Vanderpump Rules tonight.
Next Week: Everyone goes to Miami. And Jax retaliates against Sandoval.