I can already tell this one is going to be later than usual because it’s nuts here in real life. But the show must go on, God willing and the Internet holds out.
Why do people in LA wear winter caps in the summer? IDGI.
Lisa’s mother had a stroke and her father has been ill and she and her sister had to put them in assisted living and sell the house. Lisa needs to get her belongings from the house because it has sold. Her daughters are typical teenaged girls who would much rather keep their plans to get their driver’s permit than go with her. I look back at so many of these moments in my life now and wish I had been more compassionate toward my parents. But I get it, when you are that age, your brain is way more selfish.
Lisa and the girls go to Medford Oregon and immediately start mocking it. One kid asks “Are a lot of people chub-chubs here?” Lisa replies that “Fast food is king here.” Or maybe they have just never been outside of Beverly Hills to see people who actually eat food without puking it right back up. Then the girls find out that their mother went to church every Sunday. Brat 1 says, “You went to church? That explains a lot. You’re so weird.” Brat 2 says, “I feel bad for you. I gotta cut you some slack now that I know how you grew up.” These two brats need a reality check.They arrive at the retirement home and it seems obvious the grandparents have not seen the brats in quite some time. Lisa’s dad is 92 and still up and around. Her mother looks very young but she has lost a lot of memory. Her father is an artist and a very good one. Her mother wants her daughters to put their names on the backs of the ones they want. This scene was super hard to watch.
Lisa goes to lunch with her half-sister. They talk about their dad being ready to go. Then the parents and Lisa’s girls arrive. One of the girls asks if the place is gluten-free. I really don’t want to see these girls on the show anymore.
Lisa goes to pick up her things from her parents house. It’s sad.
Lisa returns from Palm Springs to greet her two gay male swans, Hanky & Panky that Mohammed gave her. Actually, one is replacement swan because one ran away. Or maybe that happens this season I forget. Ken seems less than excited about Mohammed’s gifts. Ken seems quite unhappy that they are doing the show this season.
Eileen and Yolanda meet Lisa for lunch in Malibu so she can introduce them. Both Yo and Eileen live in Malibu. Gigi and Eileen’s step son know each other from school. They talk about kids and their kids’ sex life. Eileen and Yo talk about their rich people problems. Good help is hard to find. etc.
Eileen and Vincent have a garden in Malibu. It doesn’t seem like a good place to grow tomatoes.
Kyle is having a BBQ. Everyone is invited. Lisa Rinna is dealing with family business in Oregon. I’m so bummed from Lisa’s Rinna’s scenes that I am actually hoping for drama.
Everyone arrives and Yolanda is already pissed with Vanderpump for not inviting her to Palm Springs. Good Grief, Yolanda. It was 120 degrees in the blaring hot desert for a formality. I thought you spent all of your days lying in bed nursing your chronic lyme disease? Why on earth would you want to stand on a sidewalk for hours?
Lisa explains that she will likely not attend Brandi’s housewarming. As Lisa says she (meaning herself) is the same person she hated all of last season so why does she want her at her housewarming?
Eileen already doesn’t like Brandi. Eileen is smart. Eileen is not excited by Yolanda’s problems either. She went to Turkey this summer and it was so lovely because she was getting so tired of the Amalfi coast every summer it was becoming like a job to go to Italy. Eileen was like, “really?” in her talking heads. I still trying to figure out how someone so very ill does all of these things. I keep trying to motivate to go to a cabin two hours away for a getaway and can’t muster the wherewithal.
Ken did his best to stay away from Brandi and the housewives in general. But Brandi tried to bear hug him and then made a comment to people when he was trying to pull away. Lisa and Ken’s departure was uncomfortable with Brandi chasing after her.
Next week: Brandi offers to “eat Lisa’s pussy” if it means she will come to her party. I’m serious. That was not an exaggeration.