You are on a deserted island with three people of the gender(s) you want to fuck. You can pick three. They must all be from Bravo shows. Who would you choose?
I’ll start.
1) Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out. What, I never said it had to be consensual.
2) That dude that Daisy was so very late for her date with. On Blood, Sweat and Tears.
3) Cynthia’s ex Leon.
Peter and Schwartz from Vanderpump Rules strictly for their looks and Tom Colicchio because I think he’ll deliver.
TOM FROM TOP CHEF? REALLY. Please turn in any Tamara Tattles Tokens you have if any and I really just want to ban you.
The only worse answer is Hugh Acheson.
OMG Tiffany, are you having a stroke? Should we call 911? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 12:19 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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C’mon TT, Simon (Alex’s husband) and Aviva’s dad George are both worse than Hugh…….
TOM COLICCHIO?
I mean I try to be all open minded and to each his own…but DEAR GOD.
OTOH he is a misogynist, so … there could be some fun S&M in there… but. um noe. JUST NOE.
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 12:31 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
> TOM FROM TOP CHEF? REALLY. Please turn in any Tamara Tattles Tokens you > have if any and I really just want to ban you. > > The only worse answer is Hugh Acheson. > > OMG Tiffany, are you having a stroke? Should we call 911? WTF IS WRONG > WITH YOU? > > On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 12:19 AM, Tamara Tattles [email protected]> wrote: > >>
I’ll switch my answer to Jax. Is that better? I like assholes, what can I say?
O don’t worry… everyone else’s choices are WAY WORSE. 🙂 Thomas Ravenel? Do you have any idea how much southerners HATE HIM?
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 12:47 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Ucch. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard, “He’s a hot Daddy!” My response is always that I thought that old, fat, and bald was the holy trifecta of NOT hot. But that’s just me.
Tom Collicio is hot. What is wrong with YOU!!!! He could get it in public.
Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!
TT – can we consider you part of the Bravoleberties? Personally, I think you’d be kinda kinky and fun!!! I’ll add you to my list: Bourdain, Umansky and TT!!!! Yup. Merry Christmas to me!!! YUMMY!
I’ll take Leon, Leon, and Leon. That man is just smoldering.
Me too! I love Leon.
1. Christian Rovsek (Oh Yeah)
2. Mauricio Umansky (Don’t judge)
3. Andy Cohen (he claims to be a top, but he’ll be a hungry bottom when I’m through with him!)
Alternate: Trace the Flipping Out intern from a couple seasons ago. (Clearly he’s a bossy bottom; I’ll tame him!)
Christian is Hhhhawt !!!
Ericzku did you ever see Trace’s nude pic that was floating around? #Impressive
Omg I saw him in a jockstrap. Is there a full nude?
Oh yes, I’ve seen both the one in the jockstrap and shoulder pads (hilarious – as if our prissy Miss has ever been anywhere near a football field) and the full-nude selfie. Very, VERY nice!
Usually I like ’em a little older and a little manlier but DAMN – the things I’d do to that boy…
Trace is way too twinkish for my taste, and his body is ripped & tight which is also not my taste. I like the more natural look. After his nude selfie hit the net, he unleashed lawyers that did a good job of making it disappear off of every site that posted it, but it still can be found. I’m gonna DM you Micheal.
Yeah that football pad one make me chuckle. Thanks for the DM. He is hot but not really my type, I prefer older bulkier rugged guys. I just wished I looked half as good as him.
Thomas Ravenel with his squinty smile eyes and beautiful accent (Southern Charm), Michael Sullivan, another squinty-smile eye guy with a wry sense of humor (Jersey Belle) and Mike Shouhed (Shahs of Sunset) even though he’s too young. Top pick? Thomas Ravenal!
Fabio Viviani from Top Chef from Season 5, He is so handsome and he can cook.
Roble’ Ali from Chef Roble’ He too can cook.
Jackie Warner/Tabatha Coffey..Well, hey I am on a deserted island. With Jackie I will be able to stay in shape with Tabatha, she will make sure my edges are still intact and prevent me from wearing a bowl cut wig that I will make out of palm tree branches looking like Nene plus, In the event the men start getting on my nerves, I can do something different.
OMG I forgot about Jackie Warner. Can I throw all my men back for her?
I LOVE HER. In a sexual way.
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 12:47 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Goodness, have to ponder this one …
Roman Zago – Sigh
David Beador – Eye candy 🙂
Juicy, albeit a younger slimmer version!
Yes to Roman !
No to David and Juicy!!!
1.Robert James Ritchie 2. Zach Israel Braff & 3. Tim Daly.
Just in case one of my 3 drowns on suffers a death by heat stroke I’d like to have Scott Disick as a replacement near by.
Now you are really just trying to annoy me.
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 1:01 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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OH HELL NO!
Talk about zero self-esteem!
Scott is hot!
Fredrik Eklund and maybe Josh Altman … I don’t have any tokens to give back to you TT … 😉
oops, and Jeff Lewis
well now you are making sense.
🙂
Here are three Tamara Tattles Tokens, because you will need them…lol.
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 1:16 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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That’s okay dear. Because you need some therapy an therapist don’t take TT Tokens. 🙂
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 1:15 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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1. Christian Rovsek
2. Charles Ommanney
3. David Beador
Inside the Actors Studio is a Bravo show, so I’ll take Johnny Depp, Colin Firth and Sting (he can do that tantric sex and I bet it gets pretty boring on a deserted island).
But I don’t think that’s what you meant, so other than those, I’ll go with:
Roman (RHOM), Leon (Cynthia’s ex) and JR (that guy Brandi dated on RHBH).
That’s a lot harder than it seems, which is why 2 out of 3 are really supporting cast/hardly even on the shows, because honestly I think any “regulars” would drive me insane.
David Beador (RHOC)
Peter (Vanderpump Rules)
Andy Cohen
Andy wouldn’t be interested in me (obviously) but I think he’d be pretty entertaining and silly. Plus he’s not bad to look at
I’ll take Curtis Stone, 100% pure Australian Eye Candy!
Rock the fuck on !!!!!!!
My first pick!
Thomas Ravenel from Southern Charm, and jersey Belle’s husbear, because I’m a sucker for southern men,and Josh Flagg from MDLLA because he knows how to appreciate old women.
Two Southerners and a gay Jew…yep, that sounds about right. That one is an ex-con makes it about perfect.
I’ll throw in Juicy Joe as my alternate just to shore up my jailbird quota.
dear god.
1). I would blindfold Apollo . . and tell him I was Kenya just to mess with his next 6 years. 2). Todd; to give the poor guy a more normal, natural high; a vacation from “tool box sex” with Kandi. 3). Then . . . . Jax, because I’m curious!
Honestly and please don’t kick me out. James Lipton, Captain Lee, and Ken Todd. I never knew I have a thing for James Lipton. Thanks for always brightening my day. This place is the best anti-depressant.
No, no, no … You don’t take captain Lee with you! You leave him behind so he can rescue you when James and Ken start annoying the hell out of you because nobody is here to wait on ya’ll!
1. Kelly (after I saw the nude how could I say no?)
2. Roman
3. Jax
Tom Sandoval (easily), the bitchy dude Daisy was late for on ‘BSH’ and
*possibly* Leon, aged down to 25.
Damn…Madison Hildebrand is also a great option. Brad Goreski, too.
OOOH great call on the dude Daisy stood up on Blood Sweat and Tears…
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 6:14 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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If I’m on a deserted island, I’m thinkin my dudes need to be tough, sexy, look good naked & be equipped to handle shit…like kill for food & make us a hut to live in. My choices are clear:
Alaska Gedeon of Newlyweds First Yr:
Because…YUM! A “take charge” tall sexy dude & has never let his wife emasculate him like all the rest.So HOT.
Jevon “Vawn” Sims of The New Atlanta:
Because that man is FINE. I obvi have a thing for music men haha. He kept his cool factor not one pussy moment I can think of. And who cares if he’s sexist, it kinda works on a deserted island imma need him to kill for dinner.
Mauricio Umansky of RHOBH:
Because he’s never let Kyle make him a pussy…and Middle Eastern men who look & act like him are always great in bed.
Honorable mentions go to:
Matt Nordgren, Courtney Loves Dallas
Romain Zago, RHOM
Isn’t Mauricio Mexican? You might be thinking of Kyle’s first husband, Farrah’s dad.
You got a problem with Mexicans? Because you wouldn’t if you could lay eyes on my hubby. 🙂
Your husband could solve all the border problems down here with a simple, “Hola” and a smile. We be all like, “Oh fuck immigration laws! We’ve changed our minds, just send them all over. WTF were we thinking!”
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 9:19 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Sorry misread your comment without carefully reading the comment to which you were replying! Occupational hazard!
The whore in me says, “Only 3?” Hmmm well:
Padma Lakshmi
Jax
Kelley from Below Deck
Oh and Andy Cohen could top me to pieces.
OK (I tried 3 but 5 is more feasible) Melissa Ford.
Um, These are the worst choices ever. #SorryNotSorry
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 8:14 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Absolutely no one. All the men are either skanky/dirty/felonious, or metrosexual and gay or obnoxious famewhores. There is not one real man on Bravo TV, except for maybe in some of the commercials.
1.) Michael Voltaggio
2.) Bryan Voltaggio
3.) Anthony Bourdain
Oooo… Me, too!
Apollo for looks only, Mauricio, and the new guy on below deck I forgot his name. He replaced the dumbass that got kicked off.
Kroy
The server Matt they occasionally show in passing on Pump Rules
This is hard….can I pick Kroy again?
Jett from Flipping out was hot. I’ll make him my 3rd.
Kroy was my #4 – really like him
Oh god! I can’t believe I forgot kroy! Yes kroy!
Bourdain and Umansky. DONE!
What Bravo show am I missing that Bourdain was ever on? He would NEVER.
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 10:13 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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Top chef as a judge. He an Mauricio are my votes too!
Wow – this was actually harder than I thought and I hope TT does not ban me from the blog:
1: Gordon Ramsey (because I just KNOW this guy is a great lay)
2. David Foster (because he makes the best music and would keep me entertained).
3. Jason – Bethenney’s husband (I know they have had their issues, but there was something about him that is/was sweet and tender that I love).
I didn’t think about Gordon! By god, YES! I’ll trade Mike back for Gordon. Have you seen him in a Speedo? Be still my heart 🙂
Richie Wakile
Peter Thomas
Slade Smiley
Oh for pity’s sake, not really. Just making sure everyone’s awake.
Lol. That was awesome. Thanks for the laugh:)
Eeeewwwww Slade?
I almost died when I saw Richie – yeah – I’m awake!!!
That was just cruel! Haha!
I was the only one who championed Leon on this site’s Sexiest Men of Bravo List a few weeks back. Now all o’ y’all tryin’ to have him. Back off, Goddamit.
Kenya Moore
Leon
Demetria McKinney
Honorable Mention: Lee Gause and/or Kenya Moore & Demetria McKenney as conjoined twins.
1) Richard Blaze – Top Chef – He’s creative
2) Joe Gorga – Rhonj – supposedly he’s a contractor/builder
3) Andy Cohen for pure entertainment
I think Joey Gorga might be good at it.
I almost said Richard because he is so cute and his personality is great!
Captain Lee Rosbach.
That’s all. Carry on.
Paul Adelstein – He is on my new Bravo favorite, The Girlfriends Guide….
Paul Nassif
Terry Dubrow
Don’t judge. 🙂
Good one, Tamara!! I love this post… I think all my picks have been said, but here they are:
1. Mauricio- He’s ridiculously sexy and masculine. He seems very passionate and would make super hot sex sounds en Espanol. Yum.
2. Gordon Ramsey- as someone mentioned above, he HAS to be a good lay. All that agression is released somewhere ladies and gents. Plus, I’ve never seen a male that alpha who wasn’t blessed downstairs.
3. Shannon’s husband- He seems like he’d be a gentle lover, whenever I’d be in the mood for that.
Andy Cohen….maybe I can get him back on OUR side ladies. 2) Yes TT, Jeff Lewis ! 3) Peter from VR ..but only if he takes a test for any diseases he might have contracted from SUR 🙂
i just want someone to say jim marchese to see if TT’s head explodes.
We know he’s a bottom.
Mauricio because like OBVI.
Jax has to be amazing.
Tom because he’s pretty to look at and is probably a good cuddler too.
I feel like Jax is the type who will pound you hard calling you all kinds of filthy names and then when you are done he will be the big spoon and hold you tight as you fall asleep together lovingly. Or at least that is how I am imagining it now…
Newsflash.. the thing about faghags is that we are all secretly hoping that you wake up straight one day and realize what you really wanted was a fat chick all along.
It is very hard to maintain this fantasy when you paint such detailed pictures of your happy fantasies ABOUT JAX of all people.
Good God.
On Tue, Dec 23, 2014 at 6:15 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:
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1. Melyssa Ford
2. Todd
3. Apollo
1. Leon, Leon, yes Leon!!!
2. Christian
3. Anthony Bourdain
Honourable mention for Scott Disick, yes I know he’s not a Bravolebrity and my choice will be annoying to Tamara. The body wants what it wants.
Michael Voltaggio
Ben-below deck
Fabio-top chef
Anthony Bourdain
Jeff Lewis
Curtis Stone
Mauricio
I need a hot chick too!
I’m waaay over 3! Can’t help it and already hit the cocktails on a family vacay from hell. Love this game!
Tough question…
1) Romain Zago – He just looks like he’d be effortlessly adventurous in bed.
2) Guillermo – Lisa’s partner at Sur – European, sexy, and sweet
3) Ben from Below Deck – He’s got game and I want to know why.
I thought about David Beador, Captain Lee, and Christian Rovsek but they’re all a little too small, short, or sweet for me to want long term on a desert island. Peter almost made the cut. Actually he’d be my 4th choice.
This was fun! Thanks, TT
Mauricio
Curtis
and off the Bravo List
Jonathan Goldsmith (the most interesting man in the world)
Andy Cohen all day everyday
Mauricio because ummm he’s Latin & Jewish which means YAY circumcised!
Thomas Ravenel because he’s a handsome ex-con, and I want to do things with him that are still illegal in 12 states.
Shane Keough (his mom is Jeana Keough from RHOC) He is fine as fuck, but a total douche bag.
There were several chefs from Top Chef whose names I don’t remember.
My slut card needs to be renewed otherwise this list would have been longer.
I forgot about Shane. Even when he was so horrible to his little brother I still was infatuated. I was a lot more immature back then.
Oooo Shane. I forgot about that douche. Yeah. He’s added to the list
SantaFe-yes! I want to add Guillermo also! Totally sexy!
Ben, Romain and my numero uno has not been mentioned and I can’t believe it…Kim Richards ex (the one that drove with her to take their daughter to college).
1) Ayinde- a contestant from millionaire matchmaker. He is super sweet and sexy.
2) marcel vigneron – he can cook and would be obedient
3) captain lee – to build a boat to get us off the island
1. Jeff Lewis
2. Mauricio Umansky
3. Andy Cohen
Tamara…….I LOVE Jeff Lewis..I can’t wait until his show comes back on. I have been watching it from the beginning and I would love to hear (read) your recaps of it!
Kroy- he’s a hunter. (We’d need food at some point)
Gordon Ramsey. – he’s a chef. ( he can cook)
Jeff Lewis- the island would look good, plus he is funny as hell.
Can I just say to those that chose Romain from Miami… Remember that funky eye thing he does? I’d have to put Kroy’s loin cloth over his face- that bug eye would drive us all mad!
For real. He just looks boring to me.
Ok I just read some recent posts and I have to say I’m kicking the guy from below deck off the island. You reminded me about kroy. Not only is he hot but a great dad. If somebody accidentally gets me pregnant on the island I’m gonna need a sitter while I drink homemade wine.
Mauricio because he’s rich and pretty
Apollo just because he’s pretty
Shannon Beador’s husband and Christian Rovsek because yum
Ummm sorry. No one on a bravo show but an nfl star Qb….Peyton with his helmet on. Lol.