Tamara Tattles

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You are here: Home / News / Please Excuse This Brief Interruption.

Please Excuse This Brief Interruption.

December 19, 2014 by tamaratattles 69 Comments

HaroldI have been online for a LONG time. I will be interviewing a blast from the past to just decided to join Twitter. Some of us will know him.

My top seven questions for …. Harold Balzaccio

Now he says he is not answering because he is kind of famous.

WHATEVER.

Here are my questions:

1) Don’t you think you should have had sex with me before you got married? I was kind of hot then, but you know, in the long run you got lucky.

2) Did you get a job?

3) Where you surprised those Indian bitches were kind of not as fucking annoying when one left?

4) Are you still a pothead?

5) Are you still married to the chick with the bicycle? If not have your standards lowered say A LOT? I’m asking for a friend…..

6) Are you still hot?  Do you have kids?

7) Does it suck we are all old now?

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About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Micheal says

    December 19, 2014 at 1:35 am

    Im so lost… and yet so entertained by this. Carry on. 😀

    Reply
    • tulsateacher says

      December 19, 2014 at 11:06 am

      I’m with you Michael. I’m not really sure what this means, but Harold had me at “I should have never declined your offer of a blow job”. Now I’m entranced.

      Reply
  2. Lindy says

    December 19, 2014 at 1:38 am

    The wine must be good tonight 🙂

    Reply
  3. Frances Fambrough says

    December 19, 2014 at 1:46 am

    Kinda kinda……either you are or you aren’t.

    Reply
  4. tamaratattles says

    December 19, 2014 at 1:59 am

    Sorry . Long story shot for y’all. Some of us here have know and posted with each other for years. like A DECADE or more an gotten married and had kids…etc. We know each other and I started this shit and sometime they come back to say they are done with the other places.

    Harold married someone else. He is growing up. I love him more than shrimp and grits and the girl on the bicycle he is riding off with. It’s sort of breakfast clubby for the rest of of us. Give us moment.

    I’m feeling a bit like the trust fund girl YAY ME! when Rob Lowe leaves with the other chick all over again. But we are grown ups now. right?

    Reply
  5. Tiffany C. says

    December 19, 2014 at 2:04 am

    Question 6 should be on top of the list.

    Can you report back after you get the answers?

    Reply
  6. tamaratattles says

    December 19, 2014 at 2:29 am

    Oh he will answer. I know most of them he told me he married a hot chick (she looks kinda like Gwenth Palrtrow I never had a chance) Plus I really am too old for him. I just want to know if they had babies. We were only internet net friends like you and I…
    We never met. It was friends like us only ten years ago only it was more of a unisex place where men and women has similar interests, We never met or dated.
    Some of us did but he was in the friend/I want to kill you in your sleep zone. Mostly the later.
    There are plenty of people here from that site…I think he is growing up and being responsible..

    Reply
    • Micheal says

      December 19, 2014 at 3:02 am

      Awww so sweet. 😀

      Reply
  7. Harold Balzaccio says

    December 19, 2014 at 2:47 am

    To be fair, I’m only new HERE.

    1. In retrospect, I probably should’ve accepted the blowjob offer.

    2. Well, I AM a househusband, and I’m an occasionally self-employed IT nerd when I need the money, which is never. I also write. Working on a novel now.

    I’ve also used YOU as the basis for a character study, but you won’t be appearing in this current project. I’ll let you know when it happens.

    3. Wut?

    4. You say that like it’s a bad thing.

    5. Yes. No.

    6. Yes, though I was hotter a couple hours ago, before I hacked off my rad beard. Note to the bros: Use QUALITY trimmers.

    7. Old? I just lost ten years (and 15 weeks of indolence) to some shitty trimmers. And a garbage messageboard.

    Reply
    • cassie says

      December 19, 2014 at 11:56 am

      just saying…..you both have hysterical writing styles, a quick wit and a razor sharp tongue. I would just die to see this play out on camera! First comment ever! (she says from the bsck corner of the dumpster!) You bothmade me laugh, happy holidays!. Will ne watching to see what happens;)

      Reply
      • Harold Balzaccio says

        December 19, 2014 at 11:25 pm

        Thanks! This is just what we do. Think of it as a very long Internet tango.

        Reply
    • Jacque says

      December 19, 2014 at 12:13 pm

      Lol and welcome to TT’s board! Love the Q&A btw, I’m still ROFLing!

      Reply
      • Harold Balzaccio says

        December 19, 2014 at 11:26 pm

        Thanks, but I doubt I’ll be here long. My welcomes wear out quickly.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 19, 2014 at 11:54 pm

          ​LOL. I don’t think I’ve ever kicked YOU out of anywhere…

          On Fri, Dec 19, 2014 at 11:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
    • DarkThoughts says

      December 19, 2014 at 4:36 pm

      I mean no disrespect, but who are you? I’m from the Midwest if that explains anything…

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        December 19, 2014 at 4:46 pm

        ​He’s Harold. Or Harry if you prefer. Harry Balzaccio!

        Harry is a common gadabout who freely wanders over the landscape with wanton disregard. His days are spent picking up all the stray free words he can handle and squirreling them away for later use. Subsequently, (days, months or years later) working by candlelight and hidden away in his dank, musty secluded lair, the rogue simply rearranges the collected words on yellowed bond with a sharpened quill ink pen fashioned from the tail feather of a bald-headed vulture.Once finished, the dastardly cur audaciously attempts to sell those assembled pages for fleeting fame and profit.

        Or he’s just some dude I used to hang out with on the Internet honing the art of the flame.

        Or both.

        On Fri, Dec 19, 2014 at 4:36 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

        Reply
    • BH Wannabe says

      December 19, 2014 at 10:53 pm

      This is hilarious and I’m completely lost.

      Reply
      • Harold Balzaccio says

        December 19, 2014 at 11:28 pm

        Stick around. It might get worse.

        Reply
  8. teecee66 says

    December 19, 2014 at 4:15 am

    Ugh. WHY?? I just don’t understand why.

    Reply
    • Harold Balzaccio says

      December 19, 2014 at 4:20 am

      Some of us are loved more than others, sweetie. Best you get used to it.

      Reply
      • captain eel says

        December 19, 2014 at 4:48 am

        Welcome aboard Harold. She offered you a blowjob. I’m still waiting.

        Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 19, 2014 at 12:30 pm

      A) I thought you were in rehab and would not notice.. 2)People ask me that about you all of the time.

      I feel like this is the part of the movie where your spouse is supposed to be in Yemen or somewhere and you have a tiny little moment with someone else and they come back a day early and you get the “disappointed in your choices” lecture.

      We were just chatting.

      z) Did you hear the part where I am the tragic heroine in his book? I heard I die of an STD in chapter 2. 🙁 ​

      On Fri, Dec 19, 2014 at 4:15 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >

      Reply
  9. Samantha says

    December 19, 2014 at 8:23 am

    Yes..I’m lost too. But I think I get the jest of it. Hilarious questions. “Have you lowered your..” Love it.

    Reply
  10. Disqus Queen says

    December 19, 2014 at 9:57 am

    Good for shaving that beard. Long-ass, pubic nests hanging from a man’s face is never attractive.

    Reply
    • Harold Balzaccio says

      December 19, 2014 at 11:29 pm

      It was GLORIOUS. Now I look like a baby alien. Not a good look.

      Reply
      • Disqus Queen says

        December 20, 2014 at 9:17 am

        Harold, dear, you probably look way hot. And much younger too, I would bet. Long beards, I think, add some years.

        Reply
  11. hannahkingrose says

    December 19, 2014 at 11:04 am

    Harold Balzaccio, I’m a much newer friend of Tamara’s and I think this post is awesome. I am enjoying this brief interruption lmao, however…
    1. About accepting the blowjob, yep you probably should have but remember that it’s always nice to reciprocate.
    2. Wow househusband is great work if you can get it especially if you are going to write the next Great American Novel as well.
    3. I’ve got nothing. Wut?
    4. My question is were you ever NOT a pothead?
    5. Is the chick you married still riding the bicycle or has she graduated to a moped? And I don’t think TT was asking for a friend. Just a guess about that really though lol.
    6. Gotta know what wild hair made you decide to cut off your rad beard with screwed up trimmers? I already figured you would probably still be hot or Tamara wouldn’t be asking. You passed on the kid question.
    7. Of course men are not worried about getting older jeez especially since Tamara said you were not answering questions because you were kind of famous. What kind of famous? Don’t mean to hurt your feelings and I might be living under a rock because I really am old, so could you just enlighten me so I don’t have to strain my old eyes searching you online?
    I’ve been going through a bunch of personal family drama for the last 19 days and this post has just tickled me. Thanks to both you and TT.

    Reply
    • Harold Balzaccio says

      December 20, 2014 at 12:02 am

      5. She’s graduated to a truck! Kids grow so fast…

      6. The trimmers had one of those adjustable guards. It adjusted itself. After that, there was nothing else to be done except go full cueball.

      7. Heh, I’m not famous, just really good at being an asshole. I may have achieved a level of popularity in some quarters (and infamy in others), but don’t believe everything you read.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        December 20, 2014 at 12:10 am

        You’re already calling me a liar!

        I’m just trying to make you sound mildly interesting… ​

        On Sat, Dec 20, 2014 at 12:02 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

        Reply
  12. hannahkingrose says

    December 19, 2014 at 11:08 am

    OMG I wrote out the whole word for bj and WordPress thinks I’m being a bad girl today. Back to moderation hell.

    Reply
  13. tamaratattles says

    December 19, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    I didn’t even know he had a beard. Let alone that he was cutting it off Britanny Spears like.

    I usually skip right over the blowjob part if I really want to get with the person. Ooops.

    I imagine I will be in billion case study books for psychiatrists to study for the next hundred years.

    7) Don’t ever decide to try the Kevita Sparkling Probiotic Drink “Mojita lime mint coconut.” It tastes like Harold’s ass. Allegedly. Nary a hint of lime mint or coconut. Just a strong shitty taste.

    Reply
    • Grandmalou says

      December 19, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      TT you are too funny. I haven’t smiled all week due to some serious family issues. Sounds like you are getting your Holiday cheer on early and I’m gonna follow suit. The Mojita will never be the same for me but I’ll always remember why

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        December 19, 2014 at 1:03 pm

        This isn’t a mojito. It’s one of those good for you shits in a bottle that you punish yourself with the next morning after being drunk on the Internet at 3 am.

        Again. ​

        On Fri, Dec 19, 2014 at 12:56 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >

        Reply
    • hannahkingrose says

      December 19, 2014 at 1:02 pm

      Dang TT, never underestimate the value of a great bj (not taking the chance of moderation hell again). They can have that special someone following you around like a puppy where you can teach him to sit, stay, heel and beg lmfao. I know I am risking the wrath of lots of commenters in here but I’ve seen it work and heard it has from many other women so I’m going on word of mouth so to speak. Sorry, I’m kind of on a roll today. Letting out all my pent up hostility I guess. Not downplaying the “getting with” part by any stretch of the imagination either.

      Reply
  14. natalie says

    December 19, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    All the Kevita drinks are awful, can not believe they are still in business. Try Kombucha, delicious.

    Also be suspicious of all men who don’t have jobs…..

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 19, 2014 at 1:02 pm

      ​I usually get the Kombucha Cosmic Cranberry. It’s decent.

      Kevita was on sale.

      The thing I love most about Harold is his sort of serial killer vibe…Kidding not. If he were to massacre an entire town, I’d be interviewed on TV saying, “Nah, I’m not surprised at all. But I have to say there was always something charming about him…kinda quiet, kept to himself…”

      On Fri, Dec 19, 2014 at 12:54 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >

      Reply
      • hannahkingrose says

        December 19, 2014 at 1:11 pm

        Then Harold will write a book about the experience and reference this blog as the trigger lol but will give the profits for therapy for bearded men who are contemplating multilating their beards with defective trimmers.

        Reply
      • natalie says

        December 19, 2014 at 1:21 pm

        Ha. Kavita is always on sale………makes me wonder

        Glad you are on serial killer alert 🙂

        Reply
      • Harold Balzaccio says

        December 20, 2014 at 12:39 am

        I think you not-so-secretly get off on that vibe.

        True story, folks: I’ve had Tamara’s phone number and address for almost 11 years. She ain’t dead.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 20, 2014 at 1:10 am

          ​Well, if you feeling like dropping by, I’ve got a neighbor I’d like you to meet. He needs a talking too… 🙂

          On Sat, Dec 20, 2014 at 12:39 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
  15. hannahkingrose says

    December 19, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    Ok TT, I’m done. I’ll try to behave for a while after this last question I promise. How did he get to say what he did to teecee without her crucifying him? I was so shocked that she didn’t respond.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 19, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      ​They have been pulling each other’s pigtails for years. It’s cute.

      On Fri, Dec 19, 2014 at 1:16 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >

      Reply
      • teecee66 says

        December 20, 2014 at 4:21 am

        You are completely and utterly incorrect. I don’t remember enough about him to know why he is a shit person. But he is a shit person. And I did not know he existed until a couple of years ago. There has been no hair pulling or banter. Just straight up loathing. By me. What he/she/it thinks matters not.

        Reply
      • Harold Balzaccio says

        December 20, 2014 at 5:05 am

        Since for whatever reason I can’t directly reply to TC (what’s up with this scripting?), I’ll do so here.

        Sit down. This isn’t Sucks. You don’t rate as a bully. You never HAVE, really, though it seems a few people here have bought into your “tough bitch” act. This is a different place, run by different rules, catering to a different (though vaguely familiar) crowd.

        Nobody has any reason to give a fuck what you think. As God intended.

        Reply
      • Micheal says

        December 20, 2014 at 5:55 am

        This. This is the best Christmas present EVER! Thank you for making it so TT.

        Reply
      • teecee66 says

        December 20, 2014 at 6:04 pm

        Tell it to not address me directly.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 20, 2014 at 8:21 pm

          ​I tell them all that. They never listen.

          On Sat, Dec 20, 2014 at 6:04 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
      • Harold Balzaccio says

        December 21, 2014 at 12:23 am

        It’s cute how TC ALWAYS thinks she’s in charge. Telling folks what to do (don’t let Harry talk to me!), who to like, etc. After all these years (not just a couple!), you’d think she’d know better.

        Folks, as long as TC doesn’t know anything about your personal lives, she’s not a threat; she just wants you to THINK she is. Feel free to mock her at will.

        She doesn’t bite.

        Reply
  16. sequoia says

    December 19, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    This place is strangely addictive so I’d be careful if I were you…. Harold.

    Reply
    • Harold Balzaccio says

      December 19, 2014 at 11:31 pm

      Believe me when I say that it’s nowhere NEAR the public health concern our old stomping grounds were. I’m good.

      Reply
      • Siohban says

        December 20, 2014 at 1:25 pm

        I have yet to meet a man that has said no to a blowjob. Interesting.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 20, 2014 at 2:23 pm

          ​There is a lot more hyperbole in these comments than most.

          On Sat, Dec 20, 2014 at 1:25 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
  17. belladonna says

    December 19, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    One of those random TT posts after a long night and some wine that are so interesting and fun. A peek into Tamara’s on-line history and a hopefully new poster. The Harold/teecee thing is just over-the-top scripted drama that should be on Bravo now.

    Reply
    • Harold Balzaccio says

      December 19, 2014 at 11:35 pm

      We’d rate better than Bravo. Or at least *I* would.

      Reply
  18. Psylocke says

    December 19, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    I always imagined you being a chocolate slave, not vanilla.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 19, 2014 at 7:58 pm

      ​vanilla means something else in some circles. I’m an oxymoron. Nosy bitch! lol.

      On Fri, Dec 19, 2014 at 6:04 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
    • Harold Balzaccio says

      December 19, 2014 at 11:33 pm

      If Tamara had a dollar for every time that’s been said…

      Full disclosure: She had to explain it to me.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        December 20, 2014 at 12:01 am

        You always were sort of sexually naïve…

        Reply
  19. Harold Balzaccio says

    December 20, 2014 at 12:59 am

    On a side note, I keep seeing the blog name as “Tamara’s Titties.”

    I’m sure she gets that a lot.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 20, 2014 at 1:12 am

      ​My brother thinks my blog is called Tattle Tails. Which is the name of a strip club. I have a troll that I blocked on Twitter that calls it Tamara Fattles. I think that one is hilarious.

      On Sat, Dec 20, 2014 at 12:59 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      Reply
      • Harold Balzaccio says

        December 20, 2014 at 2:42 am

        Fat jokes are so 2004.

        Reply
      • Urethra Franklin says

        December 20, 2014 at 3:50 am

        I’m drowsy on a sleeping pill but Tamara Fattles just made me bust out laughing.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 20, 2014 at 3:51 am

          ​I know right! I almost wish I would have named it that!

          On Sat, Dec 20, 2014 at 3:50 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 20, 2014 at 3:52 am

          ​Meanwhile, you my dear need to get more sleep. I can’t have my interns getting sick in the holidays.

          On Sat, Dec 20, 2014 at 3:50 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

          >

          Reply
  20. me says

    December 20, 2014 at 2:29 am

    I’m from The Other Place too. Harold..what about the football thing..was it a photo? Let’s hear it.

    Reply
    • Harold Balzaccio says

      December 20, 2014 at 2:44 am

      What “football thing?” Sure, there was a picture, but I didn’t know it was a “thing.”

      Please, elaborate. And feel free to use your usual identity.

      Reply
  21. tamaratattles says

    December 20, 2014 at 3:01 am

    Wait! You’ve had a private forum for ten years? I was outraged that I was not there. But I have a vague memory. Is that where we used to play the BB game? Did you ban me? It’s all like a nightmare you sort of remember but don’t recall specifics.

    Reply
    • Harold Balzaccio says

      December 20, 2014 at 3:21 am

      My old board still exists. It’s not being used, but it technically exists…

      Including all the archives, dating back to 2004. I know that because I just looked.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        December 20, 2014 at 3:43 am

        ​Were you seriously an admin at sucks? How did I not get that memo? I would have expected you to email me about rathaus stuff.

        On Sat, Dec 20, 2014 at 3:21 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

        Reply

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