Here are Yolanda’s raw, heartfelt feelings on the entire ordeal. …
When my phone rang and I heard David’s voice, I knew in my gut something was really wrong. My adrenaline started rushing through my body, and the greatest panic attack of my life set in, like a train ran over my heart. “DUI……….”, “drinking and driving………….” OMG, what if she had hurt someone?! What if she had crashed and gotten killed?! My “what if” button went from zero to 10 in a split second, because my greatest fear is to lose any of my children in a car accident the way I lost my father when I was only seven years old.
All of a sudden this picturesque day on this gorgeous yacht just made me feel like a fish out of water. I have never experienced something like this, so I wasn’t ready to share this news with Kyle and her family until I could understand what was happening and understand it in my own head. I had to get off of the boat and walk and pace until my nerves could calm down.
Even though David and Mohamed were in California with Bella holding down the fort, I was so scared of the danger Bella put herself and others in by making such a reckless choice. All I wanted was to get home. I cried so much that night. I felt so insecure, not only because Bella made such a huge, left-field mistake, but also because the fear of losing her had almost become a reality.
Bella has been an extraordinary child for 17 years–always edgy but living a very disciplined life as a equestrian competitor–so this reckless choice was so shocking and disappointing to me. I raised her as a single mom most of her life, so immediately I started to take it personally, blaming myself and doubting my parenting skills. Where did I screw up?! We covered the subject of the dangers of drinking and driving a thousand times! Her integrity and philosophy on life were always so right on and beyond her years that this crucial mistake was a shocking blow to digest for me as her mommy.
But then again, being a mother is discovering strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed. I could not shake my emotions and cried the entire plane ride home from Spain to LA. Embarassing, to say the least, in front of the other passengers, but I was so overwhelmed with a sense of vulnerability that I had never felt before and couldn’t control. I got out my laptop and wrote Bella the longest letter I have ever written and shared with her all that I felt in my heart and needed her to know. I explained to her how much she meant to me and how fatal this mistake could have been. At the same time putting my thoughts in a row and digesting all that had happened in the past 24 hours made me realize that I had to accept the fact that she had made a human error and that it was up to me to show the lesson and the consequences that were going to come with this eye-opening experience in a way that she would never forget.
I decided to take her phone away, make her pay for her own lawyer bills from her savings, and we sold her car. The court suspended her license for one year, she received six months probation, and was required to conduct 25 hours of community service and 20 hours of AA meetings.
Bella has always been a very conscientious child, so dealing with a heart filled with regret plus the consequences and shame of her actions has been a tough burden for her to bear. Life taught her that sometimes good people make bad choices but that it doesn’t mean they are bad people…it means they are human.
The reality is that it was a very painful experience and a lesson learned for our family. The truth is that none of us are perfect. I have and still make mistakes at age 50, so expectations of a life without mistakes from my children would be unrealistic and unfair.
Sharing this personal parenting story with you is a very sensitive subject, but I felt it was important for you to hear it from me.
“So I would like to further humiliate my daughter by making it my storyline and posting about it all over the websites.”
Exactly. I thank God every day that no one in my family, nor friends, are famous. Having your mistakes aired on national TV (and probably internationally) has to humiliating. Perhaps even scaring….I know some think it makes the guilty person learn a lesson, but punishment at her age like loosing a car, your license and public service are much better ways to bring the seriousness of her mistake to her head and heart.
This thought did cross my mind as well…
On Fri, Dec 12, 2014 at 3:44 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
I don’t think Yolanda would allow Bravo to air the DUI storyline without Bella’s blessing. Maybe part of Bella felt she might be able to help others learn from her mistake. The DUI was already public knowledge so why not make it a teaching moment?
I’m not sure if anything I’ve said is true, it’s pure speculation on my part, but it makes sense to me.
Bravo OWNS each and every housewife. That said Andy is one of those people who adores money and rich people. I don’t think he would override Yolanda, David and Mohammed’s wishes on this.
On Fri, Dec 12, 2014 at 6:07 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
But does Andy have the rights to Bella’s image? With her being underage, I just assumed anytime she was on air or something was mentioned about her, it with with her parents blessing. I am probably totally wrong about that, do you know how it works with the kids?
They sign a release for the kids. Yolanda tries to have them in as many scenes as possible, Just like Kyle and Caroline Manzo.
On Fri, Dec 12, 2014 at 11:58 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
Since this was an …OMG moment unexpected …I am sure Yolanda agreed because Bravo would PAY …more to Yolanda or her daughter for it …since her daughter has to pat attorneys fees and whtnot I believe that pays her way ….just like Theresa …paid for extras to pay off people ….but I do believe the blog that Yolanda’s blog was sincere
He daughter does not get paid and Yolanda has a lump sum contract to cover whatever happens during filming.
On Sat, Dec 13, 2014 at 2:52 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
Well I’m sure with the “unexpected ” they throw in a few bucks …nothing surprises me with Bravo …I do not believe with an underage they would just put it out there …but that’s my opinion …but Yolanda putting that heart felt blog out there maybe when they do the Reunion …Andy will ask and all questions will be laid to rest
You see, you can’t have an opinion about facts. I know how the contracts work and if something interesting and ratings worthy happens, that is what they want, they don’t then open their wallets and say, “Hey, we had no idea that you would have a storyline anyone cared about so here’s some extra pay.” That is not an opinion, that is a fact.
On Sat, Dec 13, 2014 at 3:07 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
I retract my comment …so sorry ..
SAMANTHA:
…sentences do not end in … you end a sentence with a period… but only when it’s a complete sentence… I cannot figure out why you decide to insert ellipses where you do… example:
“….just like Theresa …paid for extras to pay off people ….”
Should be: “Theresa paid for extras to pay off people.”
Or what is this?
“Since this was an …OMG moment unexpected …I am sure Yolanda agreed because Bravo would PAY …more to Yolanda or her daughter for it…”
Gaaaaaaa learn how to end a goddamn sentence!
With the run on sentences and weird punctuation, I can’t even begin to focus on the uninformed content. Probably a good thing.
spring2,
I’m curious, if she had chosen to leave it off the show, would your comment have been along the lines of ‘she’s being fake, pretending her daughters are perfect, & hiding their bad behaviors/flaws/choices’?
I’m not trying to be antagonistic, I am genuinely curious. I ask, because it seems that in circumstances like these whatever choice the Housewife/Mother makes they are criticized for it. If they air it, they are exploiting & humiliating their children. If they don’t air it, they are fake, pretending they’re perfect, & criticized for signing up for a ‘reality’ show & not showing their authentic ‘realities’, etc..especially when it’s been previously covered extensively in the media & is already known to have occurred by the fans.
Personally, Yolanda allowing this to air & using it as a learning experience is no different than family members of drunk driving victims (when the family member was the drunk driver) who campaign & share their story to try & stop people from drinking & driving by showing the real life consequences. These people are treated with respect for taking up a worthy cause that needs to be shared. They are not criticized or considered to be exploiting or humiliating their family member. I don’t understand why there is a difference between the two & would very much like to understand your reasoning.
Excuse me but I just dont feel it necessary to humiliate her daughter any further. I believe shes probably feeling bad enough already. Shes recieving plenty of disciplinary action without her mother using it as a storyline and posting her business all over the internet. Just exactly who needs a teaching moment out of this? Good lord, her daughter feels bad enough already. I would have thought yolanda would have respected her daughters privacy and not spread it further than necessary.
I think the humiliating part will come in the upcoming episodes. I believe Yolanda is trying to do damage control here. lol
I DO feel bad for Yolanda
…but I hope they play that “I can’t wait to see what trouble you get into” clip every episode for the rest of the season.
Ouch – you know they will.
Leave it to Yolanda to make it all about her.
I do feel for Yolanda. I think she wanted to be upfront about it. At least she’s issuing consequences along with the forgiveness. Maybe Bella won’t turn out to be some privileged snot, a la Paris Hilton.
I believe that Yolanda was genuinely concerned for her daughter and that her feelings were very real,. On the other hand…she needs an ongoing storyline and how much can you say about her daughters going off on their own in the world, etc., etc. and still remain interesting? I think that this disclosure and “teaching moment” was both sincere and contrived. I still don’t like Yolanda and her attempt at a perfect image and it’s about time that she allowed us to see that she is very human as are her children. I have a feeling that her step-father is mortified because he is the only one in the family who doesn’t seek out reality show fame. Mohammad is on a bunch of realty shows and loves the attention, David, not so much. I hope that Bella learns her lesson but I still wonder if these children of extreme privilege every really learn anything since so much is handed to them. My compassion button is not working regarding these people.
Let’s face it, no matter how well you parent your children, they will sometimes do things you wish they wouldn’t do and things that you do not know they are doing behind your back. When you are young, you feel invincible and in an effort to try your wings, you do stupid things, thinking nothing bad will never happen to YOU.
Back in the Stone Age when I was 18 and started out on a Sunday afternoon with an older co-worker and her friends who were going to give me a ride home later that day. Drinking and driving all day, we picked up another of their friends at the beach. Later, the moron drunk driver drove us all into a telephone pole. The beach friend went through the windshield with multiple injuries and I ended up in the hospital for two months with two broken feet, one so serious they threatened amputation and a concussion that required plastic surgery. Crippled for life, of course, this changed my entire destiny and continues to negatively affect my life today, but at least I wasn’t killed.
You never realize how in a fraction of a second, with one stupid decision, your entire life can change and not in a good way. Yolanda is right to be so concerned, but I doubt Bella will have a repeat performance of this kind of dangerous behavior as her legal consequences seem fairly severe and should be a constant reminder. However, I am left wondering if she is working as a model, can’t she afford her own phone and car? And why don’t rich people just get a driver when they want to party? Who wouldn’t love that choice?
@ diamond water.
Oh dear me, I am so so sorry, for what has happened to you. I cannot even begin to think of what you must have to go thru, every single day.
Lots of tender hugs, from me…
No words. So sorry… You are so right about that feeling of invincibility.
Wow! What an ordeal that was! I am so incredibly blessed to have survived my rebellious years relatively unscathed.
Bella is only 17 and has just very recently gotten a couple of small modeling jobs. Gigi is the one making bank… she’s just a few steps ahead of her.
Selling the car is not such a big deal now that they both live in NYC where cars are more trouble than they are worth.
On Fri, Dec 12, 2014 at 4:29 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
Wow your story is a real cautionary tale about young people hanging out and drinking and it going horribly wrong. Thank God you weren’t killed. Ive long wondered why the rich dont use drivers more, especially with the penalties being so severe now. Ive wondered about that when some of the stars get DUI’s. With all they have to lose, why risk it? I guess we’d have to ask them.
Diamond water, I just read your story. I am so sorry for what you have endured. It is so true, when young we think we are invincible. Your life can change in the blink of an eye. Thank you so much for sharing. Dee
I have always loved her on RHOBH ..now I truely adore her …my heart goes out to her ..as I am a parent too.
Good for you.
As a former teen alcoholic, I can tell you what a blessing it is for Bella to have been “caught”…She has a chance to learn from this and getting caught has saved lives. I was never caught and continued self-destruction for many years.
I’ll never be out of recovery and I’m grateful for that. Maybe Kim could take her to a meeting.
All of our prayers are with you. Alanon is for you and other significants.
Sometimes wer’e actually having good luck when things look dark. Like you said Bella getting caught may have saved her from a worse tragedy with worse consequences or uncovered problems the family was unaware of. Anyway, I think Yolanda is handling it well as she’s not being too lenient but yet she’s not being too overly judgemental and acknowledging that to err is human. I think when someone gets in trouble you have to not go too far in making them feel like a total failure so they spiral down too low.
I have to say I’ve never commented about a RH blog, but I am rather impressed with this one. I’ve always run hot and cold with Yolanda, but I really feel she is truly trying to share the awful experience with the audience. I kind of like the fact that she is being honest about how this affected her and her family. This seemed authentic to me. I feel like one of these housewives is honest about something for once. But, on the other hand maybe I am completely delusional and a sucker.
I agree..that blog was very real. I feel like none of the other ladies would have gone there.
oh, hell no! Can you see Kyle Richards talking about this if it were one of her perfect little angels? So true, only Yo would go there.
I’m liking Yo again this season. I like that she admitted her expectations of Lisa were too high and she was the one in error.
I respect they didn’t try to cover it up, sold her car, and made her pay her legal fees. It seems like they handled it the right way. While it was a stupid irresponsible choice, I definitely drove home after drinking at parties in high school. I was lucky enough to not hurt anyone or get caught. Teenagers are often idiots but if you force them to take responsibility they might not grow up to be idiots as adults. I usually don’t like Yolanda but I guess I can like her for a couple weeks.
I think Yo is taking the opportunity to show that Bella had consequences….it’s all over the news sites so for her to “allow it to be aired” was kind of a no brainer…..the fact that she’s using the situation as an opportunity to raise parental awareness by talking about Bella was never the one she thought would make bad choices I think is admirable. This stuff happens, and I think facing it head-on is the smartest choice. IMHO
This is a damned if she did/damned if she didn’t thing. If it wasn’t shown on the show people would scream cover up or demand to know why it’s not being shown. It’s being shown and people are saying what they’re saying. I’m glad Yolanda shared her thoughts and feelings on it. It makes someone like me (a non rich person) be able to relate to her as a human.
I agree she is handling it the best way she can.
I remain surprised that it was mentioned at all. If I were production I would never have included it at all.
On Fri, Dec 12, 2014 at 8:18 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
Gosh, I’m so glad to see that yolanda is not one of those wealthy moms who would manipulate the system with money to try to get her child out of the consequences. When I was 14 I got caught sneaking my moms car out with a girlfriend by my parents joyriding till odd hours of the night. Because my dad knew the judge well, he orchestrated 2 cops to come pick us up and dad had me spend one night in jail with the impression I would be staying for several months. We bunked with a female prisoner too! I watched through the jail cell window while dad drove away and left haha. It wasn’t until then when I started bawling! He wasn’t playing, and I’ll never pulled that shit again!
Interesting she didn’t share it with Kyle. Apparently, Yolanda wasn’t aware of the fact that TMZ had the story on full blast the following day and of course the producers on the boat knew about it. So much for sweeping it under the carpet. I doubt we will hear any discussion about from the other HWs.
I wish Bella the very best and hope if she needs help she reaches out.
All of the other HWs whose blog I read, said something kind about the situation. Especially Lisa because of her love for Mohammed.
On Fri, Dec 12, 2014 at 9:21 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
I can see that Bravo is going to force me to like Yolanda again this season after she pretty much lost me last year with her holier than thou b.s. But I really do have sympathy for her with her mom being sick and living so far away. Couple that with her being so honest and frank about Bella’s DUI, and she’s winning me back. (Yes, if the tabloids hadn’t blared the story almost immediately she probably would have tried to cover it up/we wouldn’t be seeing this story line — but that fact is it was out there, so I give her credit for handling it well).
The full text of her email to Bella is available/ was leaked, and there are other extremely gross details regarding the contents of the car that Yolanda had to clean up when she got it from the impound. And in retrospect, I believe Bella has a very flat affect in her scenes which might be partially explained by that information.
At the risk of getting stuck in moderation purgatory, I dare not say more.
Please discuss “leaks” and other information at the site where you saw it rather than here. Thanks.
On Fri, Dec 12, 2014 at 10:17 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
I am glad that Yolanda handled this in the manner that she did! I am so tired of everyone coddling their children and their mistakes that do carry such deadly consequences. Just because she is privileged does not mean she has to be raised with no morals, respect, concern for others, ect. Kudos to Yolanda for not brushing this under the rug.
Yolanda treating this matter as a storyline is a great way to ensure that Bella’s anger and distrust will far outweigh and outlast any shame, resentment, insight and wisdom that she might have acquired from her errant judgment.
I thought that Yolanda was a much more selfless and dedicated mom
Probably isn’t the first time Bella has had a problem with booze…?
Loss of judgement is etiology of drunk driving….but, Yo’s comment to her,…something like “I can’t wait to see what kind of trouble you’re going to get into.”…kind of confuses one…doesn’t it? Prophesy??
Tasos I disagree. I could be wrong, but I believe Bella had to agree to be on the show. I remember one of the Osborn kids refusing, and we heard nary a peep about her. Because Bella agreed/wanted to be on HW’s, her troubles would be aired. Yolanda had no choice but to face the family troubles for the world to see, and did so as gracefully and thoughtfully as she could.
With “fame” comes embarrassment sometimes. You cant be a public figure and hide the families dirty laundry, and Yo would be trashed if she’d tried. While I wish this could have remained a private issue for them, I also don’t want to just see them all just showing their flowers & rainbow moments. The show’s supposed to be their real life, and in this instance it sucked to be them. I could never judge Yo in this terrible parental situation, as thank gawd I’ve never been in it.
ugg Osbourne’s, not Osborn.
“tamaratattles on December 13, 2014 at 2:35 pm
**They sign a release for the kids. Yolanda tries to have them in as many scenes as possible** Just like Kyle and Caroline Manzo”
At 17 years old, a contract signed by Bella may not be enforceable… why Yolanda signed. ☺
The children do not sign a contract. The parents sign a release allowing them to be filmed. Minor children do not get paid. Adult children do.
On Sat, Dec 13, 2014 at 4:21 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
Nice catch, Tasks! That under-18 contract “loophole” (for lack of a better word.)
Except, minors don’t sign contracts. Parents sign release forms giving permission to photograph the children.
SMH
On Sat, Dec 13, 2014 at 4:32 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote: > >
Dammit autocorret! I meant “Tasos”, not “Tasks”.
Every parent’s nightmare. At least she had to face some consequences and hopefully,she will learn from it. Most importantly,thankfully,no one was hurt or killed.
Just look at the kid in Texas that suffers from “Afluenza”, he got sentenced to a cushy stay in a rehab resort, 10 years probation, and NO JAIL TIME for KILLING 4 people when he chose to drive drunk. The kicker to that case is that the kid and his parents feel like he is being punished too harshly!
I feel like Yolanda is being sincere, though I know a lot of people probably think her entire reaction was for the cameras and or PR. I believe Yolanda’s emotions were very real, and I think that she dealt with this as a responsible, loving parent. As a person who has opened up her life to the public, she also appropriately addressed that audience, in my opinion.
This is not an issue that has anything to do with the fact that Bella’s parents are crazy wealthy, so it’s frustrating that so many people find a way to incorporate being rich into this. Yolanda is dealing with a situation that so many parents of all demographics (unfortunately) are faced with, and from what Yolanda is saying, I think she’s being very reasonable. I know so many parents who pay for their kids’ lawyers–parents who don’t have much extra money to begin with–and if they don’t lose their licenses, these kids are out driving around still. Taking Bella’s car and phone are pretty much the most you can do to a 17-year-old except grounding her. It appears Yolanda wants consequences that really make an impact, but also wants to maintain a good relationship with her daughter, which is smart. I hope they come out of this stronger.
It’s hard because kids are going to drink, and parents shouldn’t condone it, but do need to be realistic. I admire parents who tell their kids they will pick them up anytime “no questions asked” AND ACTUALLY STICK TO IT! It’s a pretty effective tool to reduce teen drinking and driving, when used!
It’s not okay, but Bella made a BIG TIME mistake that I certainly was guilty of as a 17 year old, and I’m betting I’m not the only one. She seems like a good, kind kid overall.
(And seriously? Did someone really ask why Bella doesn’t have a car service???)
What you did is exactly what I would have done. Thank you so much for showing us that the rich and famous don’t make excuses for form what their children do. That there as are consequences for their actions! Yolanda I love you more than I did before!!! Thank you..Everyone should followed your lead and not buy their kids way out of trouble. Very proud if you!!
It was wise of her to address the issue before she was confronted with it by the media. If she said nothing-Andy would have asked her about it on the reunion show. No comment prior to this would have made her look elitist. Now we are in her shoes, shows us she is human, and that she is dealing with it.
Bravo to Yolanda(no pun intended) Her wording and ability to share her deep sorrowful feelings are very beautiful and endearing. Being a Mother is by far more important than all the money and fame she may have. Bella disappointed her Mother and really broke her heart. As Yolanda said, Bella is not a bad person, she just made a very bad choice. I admire Yolanda in many ways, she is a wise woman. Bella is bearing the shame and humiliation and will be a better woman for it in the future. They are strong Dutch girls!
I truly feel for Yo. Didn’t think she was making this about her but using it as a teachable moment on teen dangers with drinking and driving. At Bella’s age i was trying to save for college. Must be nice to have enough in savings at her age to cover her own legal expenses. We all learn lessons in life and some of the best are the ones that knock us down the hardest. I hope her daughter has learned from this experience and will be a better person because of it.
My eyes cannot roll any harder. But, hey, at least now she has a “storyline”. Rolls eyes again and walks away…..
Dont leave your message with …..BHWannabe gets anal about that.
Bella struck me as rebellious…not independent. I’m the youngest of 3 and the way you describe Bella is how I was described my entire life. I considered myself a nonconformist but in reality I had LOW SELF ESTEEM and was bucking the system. I was rebellious. I could be totally wrong about Bella though. lol
I wish Bella and her family a lot of love and healing, and that Bella may get on a great path for a healthy, loving and wonderful life.